Can a blessing become a regret? Regret is something I didn't do or have done and cannot turn it back.
Anyway, regret remains regret. I shall count my blessings and be happy. Try to
Friday, June 13, 2014
Birthday
On my birthday, Am I suppose to look back in life? There are blessings, happiness, unhappiness and regrets. It is making me very confused. I want to be happy when I look back at my life. But I can't seem to lift up my spirit. It's like spiraling down.
Friday, May 16, 2014
Full Moon
As I was driving, I saw the moon. A full moon, although it should be a Tuesday that is 15th of lunar calendar.
My thoughts naturally link to werewolves after I saw the full moon. I was thinking, does full moon have such effect on human being? Are there more murders being committed on 1st and 15th day of the lunar month as compared to other days?
Well, the full moon almost bring out the evil in me. I was so tempted to let my emotions control my thinking, control my thoughts and I just want to let it be. But thinking of Max earlier on, I stopped.
Imagine the fangs were about to grow and then after that, it shrunk back......
My thoughts naturally link to werewolves after I saw the full moon. I was thinking, does full moon have such effect on human being? Are there more murders being committed on 1st and 15th day of the lunar month as compared to other days?
Well, the full moon almost bring out the evil in me. I was so tempted to let my emotions control my thinking, control my thoughts and I just want to let it be. But thinking of Max earlier on, I stopped.
Imagine the fangs were about to grow and then after that, it shrunk back......
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
reading past blog entries
I just want to say, reading past blog entries is like opening up the pandora's box like that. I'm so afraid.... I should not read it anymore.
Traditional method vs technology of getting a cab
Man: Let me try the grab taxi app and see if we can get a cab.
Woman: Silence...... eyeing man's iphone, seeking location..... needle turning round and round
After 2 minutes,
Woman walks towards the main road, raised her hand, wola, an empty cab stopped. that was less than thirty seconds, maybe.
So the verdict is.... yes, yes, the grab taxi app have been so hyped up. Honestly, if I'm a cab driver, I'm supppose to keep my eyes on the road, right? and not on the phone or apps and try to grab a customer who might be using the grab taxi app, right?
Tell me, is it better for the cab driver to keep an eye on the road or keep an eye on the phone?
zzzzzzzz that app should be deleted for causing our cab drivers to lose concentration while driving!
Woman: Silence...... eyeing man's iphone, seeking location..... needle turning round and round
After 2 minutes,
Woman walks towards the main road, raised her hand, wola, an empty cab stopped. that was less than thirty seconds, maybe.
So the verdict is.... yes, yes, the grab taxi app have been so hyped up. Honestly, if I'm a cab driver, I'm supppose to keep my eyes on the road, right? and not on the phone or apps and try to grab a customer who might be using the grab taxi app, right?
Tell me, is it better for the cab driver to keep an eye on the road or keep an eye on the phone?
zzzzzzzz that app should be deleted for causing our cab drivers to lose concentration while driving!
grumpy women
It just sets me thinking.... because this morning, I went to the ATM machine, there was a lady in front of me. When she turned around, my first impression was, she looks grumpy, black faced. She looks like I have owed her some money or owed her a good morning or whatever it is.
Then it brings me back to last Thursday when I went to endocrine doctor for my check up. I agreed that it was a long wait, I was a little bit frustrated, but the woman, two queue number in front of me, she made sure that her frustrations were felt by many people. She threatened to not see the doctor already, as it was a very long wait. Later the nurse had to knock at the door of the doctor and somehow, they pacified her. Then when the nurse called her name, she was like sigh so loudly, angrily took up her bag, angrily walked into the room. Even after seeing the doctor, when she slide the door open, it was impactful. I was wondering, the doctor must have had it from her in the room.
Hormones at fault? Is that why she was here to see the doctor in the first place? hormones imbalance? Then what about the lady I encountered this morning? also hormone imbalance?
Then again, why? Why do women, particularly the middle aged women, feels so easily frustrated? Is it because she does not get enough from her husband? Oh, this will be another long post, if I were to talk about this...... my brains are making a lot of connections and links....
In summary, I hope I'm not like that. Let not the world see my face filled with frustration.
Then it brings me back to last Thursday when I went to endocrine doctor for my check up. I agreed that it was a long wait, I was a little bit frustrated, but the woman, two queue number in front of me, she made sure that her frustrations were felt by many people. She threatened to not see the doctor already, as it was a very long wait. Later the nurse had to knock at the door of the doctor and somehow, they pacified her. Then when the nurse called her name, she was like sigh so loudly, angrily took up her bag, angrily walked into the room. Even after seeing the doctor, when she slide the door open, it was impactful. I was wondering, the doctor must have had it from her in the room.
Hormones at fault? Is that why she was here to see the doctor in the first place? hormones imbalance? Then what about the lady I encountered this morning? also hormone imbalance?
Then again, why? Why do women, particularly the middle aged women, feels so easily frustrated? Is it because she does not get enough from her husband? Oh, this will be another long post, if I were to talk about this...... my brains are making a lot of connections and links....
In summary, I hope I'm not like that. Let not the world see my face filled with frustration.
Friday, May 09, 2014
creative names for office
just thinking......
I would replace the names of the following places with.... (as googled on the net and compiled because I like the names)
1) toilet: Skunk Works (I like this the best)
2 )management level workstations: people in the management level are usually grouped together in my profession or they are all sitting in another room, usually away from us. I would call HOD room: The Dark Side
3) General office where the top 3 people are located at: 18 levels of hell (because they are located at the ground floor, though they are the top 3 people) but they may give you 18 levels of hell.
3) conference room?: War room is common. or Snooze room. usually people fall asleep during meeting. But again, the management would not like this kind of name. Maybe Creative room will sound appropriate to them. Some call it Battle Ground, or Prism.
I think i prefer Battle Ground because I can say, 'Let's go to the Battle Ground and have a quickie.' Haha
4) pantry: sugar and spice, bread and butter, Retreat, Refresh, Recharge
5) Board room: (I'm not sure if it is the same as meeting room). The Cutting Board
Well, the list goes on.....
I would replace the names of the following places with.... (as googled on the net and compiled because I like the names)
1) toilet: Skunk Works (I like this the best)
2 )management level workstations: people in the management level are usually grouped together in my profession or they are all sitting in another room, usually away from us. I would call HOD room: The Dark Side
3) General office where the top 3 people are located at: 18 levels of hell (because they are located at the ground floor, though they are the top 3 people) but they may give you 18 levels of hell.
3) conference room?: War room is common. or Snooze room. usually people fall asleep during meeting. But again, the management would not like this kind of name. Maybe Creative room will sound appropriate to them. Some call it Battle Ground, or Prism.
I think i prefer Battle Ground because I can say, 'Let's go to the Battle Ground and have a quickie.' Haha
4) pantry: sugar and spice, bread and butter, Retreat, Refresh, Recharge
5) Board room: (I'm not sure if it is the same as meeting room). The Cutting Board
Well, the list goes on.....
Why it's been a while
I was just thinking, why I have stopped blogging for a long time. I think part of the reason is because of Facebook. I'm not blaming Facebook. I'm just saying that without me realising, it was so easy to update status in Facebook, adding photos and tagging people and sharing location. It makes it easier for people to see your status update too.
Who would, for example, reach a restaurant, order food, when the food came, takes pictures and then blog about it? It was easier to update status in Facebook and easier for people to see too. Who on earth would go type your blog address in the url address and read your blog? Then type another friend's blog address and read the blog? It was simpler to read about your friend's update on Facebook. Gone were the days when I go blog visiting.
Yah, I guess that's why it's been a while.
Who would, for example, reach a restaurant, order food, when the food came, takes pictures and then blog about it? It was easier to update status in Facebook and easier for people to see too. Who on earth would go type your blog address in the url address and read your blog? Then type another friend's blog address and read the blog? It was simpler to read about your friend's update on Facebook. Gone were the days when I go blog visiting.
Yah, I guess that's why it's been a while.
It's been a while
It has been a long while..... Not just a while.
What have I been doing? I don't think I want to summarize. Just that, there are many changes to adapt to. Today I'll just mention one change here.
Work: I've changed work environment, almost a year. Feelings....
1) the grass is not always greener on the other side. Trust me. But then again, if you didn't make the first step out, how would you know if the grass is greener or not?
2) Not to say that I've regretted my decision, I think as humans, we should try to minimise regrets, regrets only make you live in the past, not able to move forward. Well, I just have to say that there are gains and losses.
Losses: in terms of work environment and middle management, it was not as friendly, over here, you really really have to watch your back. Literally, back stabbers. When I get my first backstab, I remember I was visibly upset, then I quickly learn.
Gains: It was much more pleasant to do teaching here. Not that my previous ones are not pleasant. Each group has their different needs, and 10 years, I just felt that I needed the change and yes, I've made the change and I'm happy with it.
Yup, I guess those are the two changes that I think I have now. Getting allies and trying to join forces. Well, unity is strength. No, I'm not mentioning about an uprising, that would be detrimental. I shall have another blogpost to name different places in the office.
So as I was saying (my thoughts are very random), getting allies because I realised that I'm not alone in feeling this way. I just have to socialise around more and move my way around the corporate world. Feels so slow, after 10 years then start playing office politics. That is the loss. But then again, if you look at it positively, the loss can be a gain. It helps you to be competitive.
2) Not to say that I've regretted my decision, I think as humans, we should try to minimise regrets, regrets only make you live in the past, not able to move forward. Well, I just have to say that there are gains and losses.
Losses: in terms of work environment and middle management, it was not as friendly, over here, you really really have to watch your back. Literally, back stabbers. When I get my first backstab, I remember I was visibly upset, then I quickly learn.
Gains: It was much more pleasant to do teaching here. Not that my previous ones are not pleasant. Each group has their different needs, and 10 years, I just felt that I needed the change and yes, I've made the change and I'm happy with it.
Yup, I guess those are the two changes that I think I have now. Getting allies and trying to join forces. Well, unity is strength. No, I'm not mentioning about an uprising, that would be detrimental. I shall have another blogpost to name different places in the office.
So as I was saying (my thoughts are very random), getting allies because I realised that I'm not alone in feeling this way. I just have to socialise around more and move my way around the corporate world. Feels so slow, after 10 years then start playing office politics. That is the loss. But then again, if you look at it positively, the loss can be a gain. It helps you to be competitive.
Friday, August 23, 2013
the impossible movie
This movie has proved, in my opinions, controversy, divided opinions.
When i first watched it, i watched it from the mum's point of view, i admire the courage and resilience she displayed despite severely injured. I also liked the part where it showed how some people in times of crisis, show their selfishness or selflessness (as seen when the man wanted to borrow a handphone to call home). Most of all, from the mother's point of view, i cried when the two younger brothers ran to the oldest brother and hugged him when they found him. That emotion of finding back your siblings, indescribable.
Which is why i decided to show this movie to my children as i found them squabbling among themselves quite often, which is getting on my nerves. They can squabble over the tiniest things possible.
While showing them the movie, I asked them
1) what happens when you are faced with such crisis, natural disaster, in an unknown land, would you be as strong as them? At that time, you have no choice, you have to learn to cope especially if you are separated from your family members. Just like Thomas, the father asked him to look after the younger brother as he would not be going with them to the shelter, Thomas said, he can't as he has never looked after anyone before. But he had no choice, he has to learn at that moment to look after the brother and he did. the moment when he let his brother sleep on his lap, it was sweet.
2) In the movie, the three brothers were separated, can they imagined being separated from one another? What if they cannot find one another back? That's why in their every day lives, they should appreciate their siblings. Friends are important too, but at the end of the day, siblings will be with you all the way, so instead of squabbling every day over silly things, appreciate one another.
I also reminded them how marcus was lost when we were in Taiwan, how did they feel? and when they saw marcus again, how did they feel again? that was the exact same emotion the three brothers in the movie are feeling, or even more. No matter what happens, family most important. That is what i meant.
When i first watched it, i watched it from the mum's point of view, i admire the courage and resilience she displayed despite severely injured. I also liked the part where it showed how some people in times of crisis, show their selfishness or selflessness (as seen when the man wanted to borrow a handphone to call home). Most of all, from the mother's point of view, i cried when the two younger brothers ran to the oldest brother and hugged him when they found him. That emotion of finding back your siblings, indescribable.
Which is why i decided to show this movie to my children as i found them squabbling among themselves quite often, which is getting on my nerves. They can squabble over the tiniest things possible.
While showing them the movie, I asked them
1) what happens when you are faced with such crisis, natural disaster, in an unknown land, would you be as strong as them? At that time, you have no choice, you have to learn to cope especially if you are separated from your family members. Just like Thomas, the father asked him to look after the younger brother as he would not be going with them to the shelter, Thomas said, he can't as he has never looked after anyone before. But he had no choice, he has to learn at that moment to look after the brother and he did. the moment when he let his brother sleep on his lap, it was sweet.
2) In the movie, the three brothers were separated, can they imagined being separated from one another? What if they cannot find one another back? That's why in their every day lives, they should appreciate their siblings. Friends are important too, but at the end of the day, siblings will be with you all the way, so instead of squabbling every day over silly things, appreciate one another.
I also reminded them how marcus was lost when we were in Taiwan, how did they feel? and when they saw marcus again, how did they feel again? that was the exact same emotion the three brothers in the movie are feeling, or even more. No matter what happens, family most important. That is what i meant.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Birthday thoughts
Thankfully, today I didn't get into the reflective mood of what have I achieved, what have I not achieved bla bla bla.
Am thankful for what I already have, not going to think about what I could have, what I didn't have. Contended. Got to appreciate whatever I have now, at the moment.
The more u want something, and can't have it, u feel anger. And the anger inside u makes your heart black, full of vengeance. Well, some things you can fight for it, but some things can't be forced. Like time, health.
Life is short, live it to the fullest. Just do it.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Celebrating max birthday
Today, I brought five kids to gardens by the bay as a celebration for max.
We went to the flower dome. The girls were especially excited to see the beautiful flowers. They took a lot of pictures.
Next, we went to bakerzin to have lunch. We had a great time eating, cracking jokes and talking. The children had macarons for dessert.
After lunch, we went to cloud forest. This is the best part. Upon entering, we can see the waterfall. We were so excited that we went ohhhh and ahhhh. It was rather cold in the cloud forest.
After this, we went to the garden to walk. It was so huge!!!! We went up to the skywalk. Actually, we wanted to go to the different gardens to see, but it was so huge, we couldn't find some of the gardens. In the end, I decided, let's go back. Luckily it was not so hot, but the sky looks like it may rain anytime too, so without any umbrellas, I suggested that we walk a little faster, just in case. I believe, the gardens is nicer at night with the lights on. 
Monday, April 22, 2013
Reading
Omg, I couldn't believe I read for 2 hours plus. I actually finish reading the book! If only I could do the same to pride and prejudice, ha.
Nice book and I've just borrowed the sequel. But didn't dare to start reading. Will do so another day.
Nice book and I've just borrowed the sequel. But didn't dare to start reading. Will do so another day.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
No title
I've been told, I didn't blog for a long time.
Right now, even sitting on the toilet bowl, I also do not have any inspiration.
Is it a good sign? Good sign that I've learnt not to say things, or good sign that my life is good now, so there is nothing to blog? I prefer the latter.
I guess after all the cny festivity, children's schedule kind of settled down. Just that, really, it wasn't easy juggling, trying to help 3 school going children with their work. One will tend to get left out.
As for myself, work is crazy. Just looking forward to a new environment. I hope I can manage and adjust myself quickly. After 10 years in the same environment, I do not know how adaptable or less adaptable I have become.
Right now, even sitting on the toilet bowl, I also do not have any inspiration.
Is it a good sign? Good sign that I've learnt not to say things, or good sign that my life is good now, so there is nothing to blog? I prefer the latter.
I guess after all the cny festivity, children's schedule kind of settled down. Just that, really, it wasn't easy juggling, trying to help 3 school going children with their work. One will tend to get left out.
As for myself, work is crazy. Just looking forward to a new environment. I hope I can manage and adjust myself quickly. After 10 years in the same environment, I do not know how adaptable or less adaptable I have become.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Very tired
Can't blog about work here, can't post on fb either, dun want to tell others so as not to burden others.
But I'm really tired. Every day, this week, actually only two days, I've been angry, upset and struggling with myself at work. I cursed and sweared inside silently.
I dunno when I will snap.
But I'm really tired. Every day, this week, actually only two days, I've been angry, upset and struggling with myself at work. I cursed and sweared inside silently.
I dunno when I will snap.
Wednesday, January 09, 2013
Bad luck
Let me see, things have not been smooth lately.
1) last month, after domestic helper just went back, Mabel and max had nausea, vomitting. Remembered brought them to see doc in the middle of the night. Ok, maybe they ate something wrong.
2) then recently, the flu-cough virus had been very strong. Brought them on 31 dec to see doc, including myself.
3) a week later, Mabel had their nauseous feeling again and fever. She went to see doc a week later. Given 4 days mc.
4) what puzzled me the most is Marcus unexplainable behavior these three days. On Monday, his eyes itchy until cannot open. Had to be brought back from school. On Tuesday, he experienced headache, had to be brought back from school again. I was so angry with him that I scolded him and told him no more such things. Ok, blame it on Marcus' weak character, he can't adapt yet to new school life and is giving excuses. Today, at 5 plus, he is still not back from school. Apparently, after school at 2 something, he was queuing at bookshop in school to buy books. And he only returned home at about 6 pm. Do you believe it???? I know, the fact that the queue takes 3 hours is unbelievable. But coming from Marcus, and knowing Marcus, I believe he is telling the truth and not lying. But fact remains unbelievable. And fact is also the father went up school to look for him but didn't see him. Ok, blame it on adult for not doing a thorough search hence missed seeing him in school. But I'm still very upset.
5) out of no reason, Mac mini cannot start. It started, with apple icon, and circling, but shuts down again. This had never happen before to any apple products I own before. Never. Virus proof. Had to bring down to service centre. Ok, blame it on the kids for downloading mine craft service pak.
6) for so many years and times I take iPhone, it has never given me any problem until the recent change to iPhone 5. No service. I had to bring it down to com centre for 1 to 1 exchange.
In fact, children's cough and my cough had not fully recovered. Ok, I know, many people's cough is also very long drawn, not fully recover.
But I'm already very very tired. Today's Marcus' case was my breaking point. I really felt like giving up. Just when I thought I pulled myself up again, the Mac mini has to give problems which caused me to sink further. Why? Why? Why? And I have no one to talk to. Luckily I can blog here. If not, I'll go imh for sure.
Anyway, I'm giving that thing one week to move. If it doesn't move, I'll move out. 16 jan. deadline.
1) last month, after domestic helper just went back, Mabel and max had nausea, vomitting. Remembered brought them to see doc in the middle of the night. Ok, maybe they ate something wrong.
2) then recently, the flu-cough virus had been very strong. Brought them on 31 dec to see doc, including myself.
3) a week later, Mabel had their nauseous feeling again and fever. She went to see doc a week later. Given 4 days mc.
4) what puzzled me the most is Marcus unexplainable behavior these three days. On Monday, his eyes itchy until cannot open. Had to be brought back from school. On Tuesday, he experienced headache, had to be brought back from school again. I was so angry with him that I scolded him and told him no more such things. Ok, blame it on Marcus' weak character, he can't adapt yet to new school life and is giving excuses. Today, at 5 plus, he is still not back from school. Apparently, after school at 2 something, he was queuing at bookshop in school to buy books. And he only returned home at about 6 pm. Do you believe it???? I know, the fact that the queue takes 3 hours is unbelievable. But coming from Marcus, and knowing Marcus, I believe he is telling the truth and not lying. But fact remains unbelievable. And fact is also the father went up school to look for him but didn't see him. Ok, blame it on adult for not doing a thorough search hence missed seeing him in school. But I'm still very upset.
5) out of no reason, Mac mini cannot start. It started, with apple icon, and circling, but shuts down again. This had never happen before to any apple products I own before. Never. Virus proof. Had to bring down to service centre. Ok, blame it on the kids for downloading mine craft service pak.
6) for so many years and times I take iPhone, it has never given me any problem until the recent change to iPhone 5. No service. I had to bring it down to com centre for 1 to 1 exchange.
In fact, children's cough and my cough had not fully recovered. Ok, I know, many people's cough is also very long drawn, not fully recover.
But I'm already very very tired. Today's Marcus' case was my breaking point. I really felt like giving up. Just when I thought I pulled myself up again, the Mac mini has to give problems which caused me to sink further. Why? Why? Why? And I have no one to talk to. Luckily I can blog here. If not, I'll go imh for sure.
Anyway, I'm giving that thing one week to move. If it doesn't move, I'll move out. 16 jan. deadline.
Saturday, January 05, 2013
Hooked on he drama serials again
Am hooked on Hong Kong drama serials again. These are the two shows I'm going to watch. I know it's kind of outdated, but if not i cannot get the full episodes. And it has to be in Cantonese otherwise I don't want to watch.
First post 2013
Realized it's been close to a month since I last blogged. Hmmmmm, also hard for to write on. I dunno why.
Just saw my blog description, why worry what other people think? I used to like to do what, do what, why worry people think what. But I realized that sometimes that cannot be the case. Your actions will have reactions, dire consequences if serious. Your actions will impact others. Maybe that is why I started to adjust myself to think cautiously before saying or doing anything. Maybe that explains why I kept my silence on blog.
2013 would be an exciting year. Marcus sec one, Mabel pri six, max pri one and myself, going to a new working environment in June. I dare not look into the future too much. Just take one day at a time.
2012 was an eventful year with forecast of the end of the world which didn't take place. I should do a closure blog post last year but then again I just want to close 2012 chapter quietly. Even though I didn't close it in black and white, I will remember the lessons learnt from the events and used it to improve myself to be a better person.
Just saw my blog description, why worry what other people think? I used to like to do what, do what, why worry people think what. But I realized that sometimes that cannot be the case. Your actions will have reactions, dire consequences if serious. Your actions will impact others. Maybe that is why I started to adjust myself to think cautiously before saying or doing anything. Maybe that explains why I kept my silence on blog.
2013 would be an exciting year. Marcus sec one, Mabel pri six, max pri one and myself, going to a new working environment in June. I dare not look into the future too much. Just take one day at a time.
2012 was an eventful year with forecast of the end of the world which didn't take place. I should do a closure blog post last year but then again I just want to close 2012 chapter quietly. Even though I didn't close it in black and white, I will remember the lessons learnt from the events and used it to improve myself to be a better person.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Tuesday, December 04, 2012
Day 4 without domestic helper
As I was doing the housework these few days, I hardly have time to rest not read the newspaper. And I'm not sweeping, mopping not wiping the furniture. Just laundry, ironing, cooking, washing alone, I can't sit down and rest.
I wonder how come my domestic helper had free time during the evening before cooking dinner and she could sit down to watch the 9 pm ch 8 show. I don't! Maybe I'm just not efficient.
I wonder how come my domestic helper had free time during the evening before cooking dinner and she could sit down to watch the 9 pm ch 8 show. I don't! Maybe I'm just not efficient.
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