Vietnam, 1st and 2nd day

On the first day, after meeting at the airport and after 1 half hour of flight time, we finally reached ho chi minh city. my first impression, the motorcycles!!! they simply do not follow the rules. It's a matter of who dare to go first. Somehow, they will slow down and let you pass first. from the tour guide, mr son, there are 4 million motorcycles.

our first stop, Vietnam-Singapore industrial park, VSIP.


Then we got a bonus of shopping at the Ben Thanh market. Wah, you must really bargain at least to 50% of the price they quote.

On the 2nd day, it's time to go to Cu Chi tunnel. Over there, it's quite a few of hands on activities like crawling through the tunnel, eating tapocia and seeing the making of traps. i'm impressed with Viet Cong's creativity.






after that, it's lunch at minority group village, followed by dance and we also managed to catch pig racing.




After that, dinner and then more shopping at ben thanh night market. This time, we followed the students and helped them to bargain. I think the stallholders don't like us.

Vietnam 3rd and 4th day

On the third day of our trip, the main highlight is to go to Vam Sat Ecological Zone. The journey from our hotel to the place itself is 2 hours, this include the barge ride that bring us across the river to the other side.



When we reach a place, there is still another boat ride to go to Vam Sat. took precaution, have students wear the life jacket.



we first went to the bat swamp. over here, it's another 10 min sampan ride to see the bats. The students were like, 'not again, another ride after an hour boat ride?' but this is sampan, so students were encouraged to keep their balance and no big movement while on the sampan.



Finally, we took the boat again and another 15 mins boat ride to Vam Sat ecological zone. We had lunch and the chinese students and teachers tried the grilled mudskipper. Should have taken a picture of the mudskipper. It was nice, no muddy taste, tastes just like fish.


After that, the students tried various activities such as crossing bridge, climbing up the tower and crocodile farming.







After that, it was dinner and back to the hotel to do reflection and packing of luaggage. There will be a luggage check at 1030pm.

the last day, we check out at 10am, then it's hitting the wholesale market for more shopping. Well, i couldn't squeeze past the narrow alley without molesting anyone, so in the end, we decided to go and have coffee, vietnamnese coffee. After this, we went for lunch. The last lunch was unique. The restaurant has unique decorations for its dishes.




after lunch, it's going to the cathedral and war remnant musuem. At the cathedral, nothing special, just took some pics of the architectural design. the war remnant museum, it was informative. Sec 3 students were able to detact the propaganda and detect the bias. It was a good learning experience for them and for me too. I feel quizzy after looking at the pictures. At the 'tiger cells', i get this eerie feeling.









then after museum, it's going to the airport time and home sweet home.

monthly home budget

was meddling around the ibook, chanced upon a monthly home budget file in excel. opened the file and thought it was useful. so as at 11.25pm, i budgeted the income and expenses that i'm going to incur for dec next month. hmmm, after doing the budget, i kind of find it useful, it even tells me how many percent that group of expenses take up, for example, my finance payments take up about 50% of my income. hmmm, no wonder all these years, i've been poor. hmmm, sets me thinking.

and i find that with a budget, you kind of like plan for your expenses next month. it also allows you to see how much savings you should have at the end of the month. i even budget for xmas gifts, xmas tree for next month's budget. It makes you aware of your spending and hopefully makes me to be careful with my spending.

so hopefully, this passion of budgetting for my home continues.

Today i brought mabel and max out to the bookfest. I asked marcus if he wants to follow or not, he said no. so only max and mabel followed me out. but first, we go to school first to print out some stuff. then we proceed to marina square to meet my mum, gor yee and aunt sharon for a buffet lunch.

After lunch, we walked to suntec city. At the bookfest, well, we really didn't have the luxury of time to shop slowly. basically, we went to the stationery section. mum bought mechanical pencils, lead, colour pencils for the children. gor yee and aunt sharon bought a book each. At about 3pm, we left the place. It was a huge bookfest. Go only if you have time to slowly browse through the books. It wasn't exactly very cheap. But going through the stationery section was an eye opening for me. Saw 2 new devices, filing system which i quite like. but for the price of $2 and $3.50, i decided to stick to the old method of filing things.

oh, and on the way walking to suntec city, max fell down. well, he's walking and he stopped suddenly in front of mum, mum didn't see him and bang into him. Lukily he didn't hit his head or face on the floor. needless to say, he cried. 'so pain, so pain.' luckily mum didn't fall on him. i can see that mum is trying very hard to balance and trying not to fall on him or step on him.

when we came back home, max was already sleeping in the car. I've been carrying him a lot during the bookfest. After he fell down, he didn't really want to walk and when i carry him, i think he feels that he can see better at the bookfest.

Next, went to courts to buy a lcd tv. high time to buy a tv. the 20" one in the room was a gift from starhub when we changed to digital box. with the new shelfing, this tv look small. so we decided to buy a bigger one, and this 20" one, probably put in marcus room.

It was a difficult time choosing the tv we want. There were so many. we had a few brands in mind, 32" ones. preferably below 1k or the lower end of 1k. so in the end, we saw this 37" going for $999. so decided to buy this one, and of course on one year instalment. come out to about $100 per month. reasonable and should be affordable, ie, if it is approved. then next week, we can collect the tv and boy, i'm so excited. we also bought a dvd player. the other two that we had, i think it was spoilt during the process of shifting house. It could not read the disc and it's frustrating because you couldn't watch vcd in the room. so this philip brand was cheap. $59.

did i mention that we are peeling off the floor laminate this weekend? boy, i'm excited. with all these diy, feels like a new home.

today at 10am, mil called me on my mobile and told me that tin left the house. at first, i got a shock. then i realised, mil, fil, mabel, max and sophia went to the market this morning. left tin and marcus at home.

so technically, she has left marcus alone at home, locked him at home without a key for him and according to marcus, she told him that she went down to look for mil.

crazy woman! how can she leave marcus alone at home and lock him in the house too, without a key??!!?? what if there is a fire, how is marcus going to escape??? WTH, how can she do this to my son???!!???

even if she wants to take initiative, it's the wrong time to take initiative. anyway, there is my fil, so what's the worry? even if she really wants to go down and help, then leave the key with marcus.

i really doubt her real motive for going down, but i know she would deny everything.

back from hcm, vn

finally, 4 days with students at ho chi minh, vietnam. when i'm free, i'll blog with photos (hopefully, i can get them right) about it.

in the meantime, aftermath of the trip, pimple outbreak and rashes on my legs.

my bedroom layout was changed when i was in vietnam! well, not major changes, just that adrian bought a shelf, so now the tv sits in the shelf with lots of storage at the side. the hi fi system and vcd player and all other stuff now sits neatly on the shelf.

the laptop was moved to the side. i now have a proper table with chair and i can sit comfortably on the chair to do my stuff.

our next project, remove the floor laminate. The floor laminate is spoilt. so if we manage to do it this weekend, then the white ceramic tiles will be revealed. cool.

in the last leg of preparation for vietnam trip. nothing unusual, nothing excited, just bringing a bunch of students to vietnam on an educational trip and ensure their safety and of course, the learning must be assessed. am very proud of the team who prepare for the trip. congrats on a good job done.

been spending more time with children lately, cos i think i'll miss them badly, especially max. i can imagine him asking, 'where's the mummy?' on tuesday night, i had fun playing pretend games with him. we played cooking and doctor. we had a good time.

yesterday nite, went to meet best friends for dinner at vivo city. hmm, will have to upload the picture in facebook otherwise YY will keep nagging at me again.

life

Such a simple word, spelt by 4 letters. But it entails so much. Happiness, sadness, sufferings, pain, birth, death, separation.

A person grows with each realization of a feeling. Lessons learnt can be painful and heart wrenching, but we grow mentally.

How a person handles the painful part is probably what differentiates a saint, a strong willed person and a weak willed person. A weak willed person could probably cry, complain, blame whatever/whoever they can blame for the plight. Some may turn bitter and plot for revenge for the injustice they have received.

The strong will person will probably cry, learnt a lesson, grit his/her teeth and continue on with life. A saint will probably chant, meditate and seem nonchalant to the feelings.

As for me, I’ve long realized it, it’s just that the intense I feel varies at different points of my life. Realised that we will all end up in the same way, dead, decomposed, or for some, cremate. We bring nothing along with us to the nether world. So I realized that kinship is the most important.

It’s important to cultivate good relationship with your close ones, like children, mother and of course spouse. (the next part seems difficult to carry on, I’ve typed 3 times, but 3 times I deleted what I wrote.) whatever it is that I wanted to say, children are important to me, so is my spouse. Cherish them while I’m still alive and kicking, cherish them while they are still alive and kicking.

Someone once said, it’s better to be loved than to love someone. True, it’s better to be loved, but it’s good to love back someone.

yesterday, i bathed the kids. then i started to clean the toilet bowl, in the end, i end up washing the 2 toilets thoroughly. It was good exercise. I also realised there are so many corners and nooks that the maid didn't clean.

i also realised that their bathing water in the afternoon is not enough for me to clean 2 toilets in details. so now, even in the night, when they have a quick shower to change into their pyjamas, i also wanted to save the water. last nite, i tried it out. i could fill up 1 big pail of water, which should be quite sufficient to clean one toilet.

have also asked the maids not to turn on the tap full blast even when they wash one single cup. I will not hesitate to scold them if i catch them doing it. when the maid washed the commode yesterday, she was holding on to the shower and rinsing the commode. i scolded her. she should have used a pail to fill up water and then clean the commode. That is a total waste of water and i could bathe one person with that amount of water.

i don't know why i couldn't sleep on sunday nights. some say i got monday blues. last nite, from 11am - 3.30am, i watched 2 shows on HBO. during the third show, i looked at the time, almost 4 am, i better catch some sleep, so i switched off the television and forced myself to sleep.

needless to say, of course, i'm zombiefied this morning.

as i was watching the shows, max is sleeping beside me. he looked so serene when he sleeps and he snores. just like me! i don't know how many times i kissed him while he was sleeping.

the weather is weird these days. it was very warm and humid for the past 2 days, then suddenly this morning at around 9 plus, the sky turned so dark and it started to pour.

so anyway, will be looking forward to going home in the afternoon, after the PDS interview. now everyone is so worried over it and preparing for it. i will definitely take a rest in the afternoon and sleep early tonight.

today, adrian brought marcus and mabel to watch madegascar 2 at downtown east while we go and settle all the insurance thing. after that, we brought max to downtown east to meet them for lunch.

they enjoyed the show and were happy to see max. actually in the morning, when adrian and the children left the house, max thought he was going too, he actually wore his shoes and kept saying, 'mummy, papa, come, wear shoes.' when they finally left, he got so teary.

kissed him and told him we'll go for breakfast and then we'll bring him to go find his duh duh and jie jie for lunch. then he started to cheer up.

so at about noon, we reached downtown east, just in time to meet them. we went to this place at the 2nd floor, where it is halal certified and it sells mainly chicken. can't remember the name of the shop.

had a family combo while we ordered fish cutlet for the children. they are still coughing, so ordered the fish cutlet for them. They managed to finish all of the fish cutlet. It is very deliciously fried and yet you can still taste the fish, no wonder the children finish the fish.

the family combo has 8 pieces of chicken in different flavours. we couldn't decide which family combo we like, so we ordered this one that offers a mixture. it's so much more delicous than KFC. i only ate 1 piece of drumstick, while the other 2 adrians ate the rest.

then in the evening, when their cousins came to our house, they went down to kick ball and play hopscotch. the children all had so much fun.

now at 9 something, as i'm typing this blog, their cousins are downstairs playing nintendo wii with max, marcus and mabel is already sleeping in my room. They are so tired. but i'm glad that they had a fun filled day.

actually planned to bring them to so many places during the holidays like zoo, (my mum suggested) some musuems, i want to nhb.gov.sg and realised they have many activities. but after i paid for my insurance, inspection, tyres and road tax this month, i'll just have to shelf the plans. maybe i'll think of ways to occupy them at home. do more assessments!!!! no lah, joking. maybe some handicrafts to decorate the house for christmas.

marcus has been asking me about his psp, but today is only his 6th day out of the 8 days that he promised. he tried to bargain with me and negotiate with me. i so tempted to give in to him, but i have to be heartless to say no. of course he is disappointed, but no choice.

wah, change 2 tyres already cost me $170 plus, and inspection, that is about 60 plus. then renew insurance, that is about $800 plus. plus renewing of road tax, i think i'm going to just renew 6 months, that is about $200 plus. i'm so dead broke this month.

november is a bad month for me every year, cos the renewal of insurance takes up a huge portion of my pay.

think positive, with less money, i'll eat less, so it's going to help in my diet.

i only managed to go down 1kg this week. but i think this week, i'll put back the kg plus maybe another kg more, becos this week, there is going to be the farewell lunch for the principal on tuesday, on wed nite, i'm meeting my best friends for dinner at suntec, then on thurs, graduation nite which most of the teachers have to attend. then on friday, it's off to changi airport to vietnam.

this nov, need to go for car inspection, then renew insurance and renew road tax. so fast, 3 years already.

but before i go for inspection, i need to change 2 tyres first.

should i change car? maybe now is not the right timing.

packing my table

today, i managed to pack what is under my table, in my cupboard and around my table. needed to clear some of the old stuff before i can shift what is ON my table to under the table again.

i spent 3 hours to pack. another day when i have the time, then i'll pack what is on my table.

by monday, my mil was speaking to us again. actually for me, it was tuesday. becos on monday, becos of marcus' case, i'm sure she is heart pain with the way i disciplined marcus. anyway, on monday, i was tired also, so went up to the room after dinner to have an early rest.

on tuesday, when i came home, she was cooking dinner already. actually she was scolding the maid. after bath, i went to the kitchen and also scolded the maid too on the same issue. She cooked too much rice. within 2 weeks, we have to buy a 10kg packet of rice. my mil was perturbed by how come it was so fast. so i also scolded the maid that she cooked too much rice. 2 half tins of rice in the afternoon (only 3 children and 2 maids are eating, the 3 children dun eat so much) 5 tins of rice for the evening. i counted for her, actually 3 tins of rice is enough. at least scold the maid in front of mil so that she also dun feel that i'm siding her.

then my mil cooked curry. OMG, i had 2 bowls of rice last nite. the 2nd bowl was just curry gravy and rice. Her curry is just so nice! there goes my diet plan. so now we are speaking again.

cross fingers, nothing bad will happen this week

marcus

on friday, marcus lock max in the room and mabel had to rescue max. then when marcus wanted to beat max, mabel protected max and in the scuffle, mabel got hit.

when i knew of this incident, i gave marcus a stern warning and good scolding. why didn't i beat him? if i beat him, then i'm contradicting what i'm scolding him about in the first place. Please dun come and teach me how to teach my children, please dun say that we are parents, we have the authority to beat.

i reflected on marcus' actions and on my own teaching to him. i always believe, monkey see monkey do. children follow their parents' action. maybe last time somehow, i had been harsh on him, i did put him in the room once for crying and crying. i only allowed him to come out of the room after he had stopped crying. probably he remembered that incident and did the same. so no, i did not beat him because that would only make him more rebellious, how come my mummy can beat me and i can't? he can say that he's the eldest brother so he also got the authority to teach his siblings when both parents are at work. so beating him will not solve the problem. i warned him that what he did reflects his violence. he can be sued or brought to the police station for being violent towards his siblings. i warned him about the consequences. his punishment: i took away one of his favourite thing for 24 hours, PSP. i asked him to use the time to mend his relationship with his siblings, ie, to know them more and show more care and concern for them.

then on monday, i received a sms from mabel that marcus beat her again. this time, i went home, marcus was still eating lunch. i told marcus that i've warned him before that he can be brought to the police station and i will do that after he finished his lunch. i even went to the extent of packing his clothes and toothbrush in a plastic bag and placed beside him. he displayed stubborness, he said, 'no' and he crossed his arms. he didn't want to eat his lunch either. then mabel added, 'marcus also beat tin.'

so from behind, i carried him. of course he put up a very strong struggle. i used the fireman's lift to lift him up. he started to cry. he struggled and his arm was frantically trying to grab hold of something. all this while, he was screaming that he didn't want to go. while we reached the gate, he grabbed the gate and i had difficulty making his hand let go. (and mabel came with marcus' belongings and shoes and asked me if i need her help to bring the things down. i rolled my eyes. mabel actually really thought that i wanted to bring marcus to the police station.) finally, i managed to make his hand let go of the gate. he screamed even more. he wanted to grab the railings outside. luckily he didn't, becos i could have easily thrown him down. so i carried him to the lift lobby. i put him down, pushed him against a wall and talked to him.

i asked him if he remembered what i said on friday. he said yes. i made him repeat what i told him on friday. i told him he had disappointed me by beating mabel again. (actually he beat mabel's hand when mabel refused to lend him something) and i also told him that it's a very serious offence to beat a maid. no matter how minor it is. i told him that the maid can really go to the police station and complained that the little sir beat her and that's it, even the parents also cannot save him. i had to end it as i dun want to take too long, otherwise my mil weak heart cannot take that her eldest grandson is being scolded by me. so i end off by warning marcus again, 'you think mummy is joking with you about bringing you to the police station? today i can drag you to the lift lobby, the next time, i can drag you to the police station. there will not be a next time, becos the next time, it's really the police station.'

after that, later at night, i sat marcus down and i went through with him again the warnings. i told him that i cannot allow him to have the idea that when he does not get what he wants, he beat people up, that is a sign of bully. i told him that i had to mete out some form of punishment to him. i told him that the cause of his violence may be from his PSP games, so i'm confiscating his PSP for 8 days. why 8 days? i dunno, i just blurt it out.

these few days, i followed up by asking marcus if he has beat anyone again, he said no.

it's not that i dun believe in caning. i do, but i believe in giving warnings first. we also cannot always use the cane until the children only fear our cane. use the cane at appropriate times. like marcus' second time, yes, i could choose the cane to beat him as it was the second time. i may have. different people have different ways of disciplining their children. dun come fixing your way of disciplining to my style. go experiment with your own children your way of disciplining.

cold war

it was cold war between my mil and us during the weekend. it all started on thursday or friday night. As usual, she cooked dinner, we were having dinner. then she said she wanted to discuss something. It's the maid thing again. but one statement from her makes me very mad. 'You all where got scold her? everytime smile at her.' that night was quite a tense night. i went up to my room after dinner.

On friday, she was not feeling well again. actually i heard her crying when i left for work. anyway, she went to see a doc.

On saturday, i decided to clean up my own room. so after came back from breakfast, she was still not feeling well. The maid was about to prepare to cook the children's lunch. while the maid was in her room, i quickly told the maid that there is no need to cook their lunch. For this, she got angry. and for the whole day, she kept herself to the room.

actually i didn't know what she was angry about. it was only later in the evening, my sis-in-law managed to fish out something from her. then she went on and on and said how we never buy the rice when she told us to. (my father in law said that he got ntuc vouchers, so can use it to buy rice)

anyway, on sunday, after i knew what happened, i just continued on with my own stuff. I cleaned up their room, cooked lunch for the children and then clean up the kitchen myself. i will not order the maid to do anything. the maid can just go and serve her.

anyway, i need to rush off for meeting already. but this incident just makes me think, things were alright when it first started out. community living is good. but after some time, will it prove what other people used to say? never stay with your in laws.

i dun need her to be angry over little things with the maid. she keeps saying that the maid listens to us and the maid talks back to her. but have she asked herself how she had talked to the maid? if every day someone keeps shouting at me, i would definitely retaliate back.

i'm unhappy with this issue. sometimes, i think the best is, i will get rid of the maids, that is the best

mabel's blog

on mabel having a blog, well, i used it to teach her how to write a composition, like when u suppose to have full stops and commas, and when it's another idea, probably you should have a different paragraph. so it's a good writing practice for her.

and from her blog, i got to know something that happened at home on friday. This is a copied and paste from mabel's blog:

but Max don't want Marcus to help him so Marcus lock Max in ah ma room. He cry and cry and cry then sophia heard max crying in ah ma room, she open the door so i carry him out of the room. Then marcus start to cane max and me so we ran into ah ma room to hide. Then marcus came in to beat max so i climb onto the bed to protect max. Then max start to cry then i said, ''why?'' but he never reply

after reading her blog, my heart pain. then i summon marcus and question him and give him a good scolding.

'it is good' 'it is good' by about 12 noon, i'm fine with my feelings. well, though i still hate my fat waist, i guess i should do something about it. i guess i should do the proper way, sorry, i promise not to do it again.

as for the trip preparation, by noon time, most of it is settled already.

continuation from the previous post:

1) i shall blast my ears with music to calm down

2) yesterday i heard a story:

african king loves to hunt. his faithful follower will always say 'it is good'. one day, king got accidentally shot himself and his last finger was gone. faithful follower, 'it is good'. this infuriates the king. 'how can this be good when i lost my little finger?' so the king threw his follower into the jail.

one year later, king goes hunting again, this time, without his faithful follower. He was caught by this tribal group who are cannibals. just as they are about to eat him, they stopped. king asked why. they said, 'u not complete. you lost your little finger, we do not eat incomplete human beings.' so they release the king.

the king was so happy and immediately went to the jail to release his faithful follower. the king apologised and asked how the follower feel for having been in the jail for a year. faithful follower, 'it is good' the king feels puzzled, 'how can this be good when u sat in jail for a year for nothing?' faithful follower replied, 'if i'm not in jail, i would be with the king when the tribal group caught you.'

so the moral of the story, be optimistic.

so for being unhappy with myself, for being angry with the preparation for the trip, i will say to myself, 'it is good'

warning: this post is not a good example of how you should feel about yourself, do not imitate

i just want to get it out... i'm very unhappy with myself. feel so fat, cannot fit into some of my clothes. hate myself for eating and eating. feel like taking a knife to slash the stomach and remove all the oil and fats.

then it does not help that the preparation for vietnam trip is not smooth going.

i so hate myself today.

maybe at the end of the morning, i would have talked myself out of this feeling. maybe at the end of the morning, i could have settled most of the stuff for vietnam trip.
BUT AT THIS MOMENT, I FEEL SO DAMN LOUSY!

ok, got it off, remember, dun imitate.

i am procrastinating some work. it's time for end of year review and planning for next year, but i'm just not in the right frame of mind and mood.

1) i need to upload photos.

on friday, it was a night out for me. at about 10 plus, we went to mohd sultan, dbl o had a long queue, so end up in one of the pubs. we ordered a bucket of six bottles. After we finish this, it was about 12 midnite. we felt that something was missing, so we decided to go st james power house.

when we reach there, my first reaction, where got recession? so many people there. i mean this is my first time, i do not know if it was more crowded in the past or not. anyway, went in, listen to music, sway a bit. time paseses fast, it was 3am before we knew it. made our way home.

but i can feel that i'm old already, the next day, i felt so tired. but in the morning, we still had to go to thomson plaza to settle something. omg, thomson plaza is so crowded. we had no parking space. had to park illegally opposite. once we settle that, went to longhouse for lunch. oh my, everything look so good to eat there.

after we came back, went to giant to buy grocery. after that, i was so tired that i think i knocked out immediately once i hit the bed.

in the night, mum and adrian came to visit the children. went out for dinner together.

on sunday, promise to bring the children to swim. we decided to go to tampines swimming pool. we waited until about 3 plus. It was great fun for the children. mabel had fun sliding down. marcus had a great time floating on his back. max had a great time walking around. after swimming, we just wash off and quickly came home to have a good shower. nothing beats the shower at home, so warm and nice.

wah, stocks keep going down, but my weight does not!! same as max, everytime he sees me on the weighing scale, he would be the next to stand on top of it. Then he take a look, he would always say '5'. i would correct him and say '10'. last nite, he stood on the scale, then he say '20'. (i think he must have learnt it from mabel) give me a shock.

He loves to sing! alphabet song, twinkle little star, row row row your boat. and of course some barney songs.

yesterday was revising with marcus and mabel, i really had no patience when it comes to teaching my own children. anyway, we survived through the 3 hours of revision. just wish them the best for today's paper.

am currently working hard to ask schools if they have vacancies to take in marcus and mabel for 2009. so far, tried 1 sch, but they say no vacancies. so now in the process of asking another sch. i wouldn't want to pull strings as a teacher, that would be my last resort.

today is friday, but i'm not particularly happy, i dunno why. something seems to be bothering me, bogging me, but i couldn't quite pinpoint it. family? work? love? marriage? children?

just let me go through the motions for today without any hiccups due to my distraction

i've watched 'money no enough 2' many times, at least 4 times. but each time i watch the show, each time i'll cry. especially when it comes to the part where the grandma was left at old folks home. or when i see how the grandma was treated, passing from one house to the other house. when she was left just outside the toilet in the kitchen. sometimes i wonder if there is really anybody who would leave their mother to sleep in the kitchen????

but the part that really got me crying was when the grandma was in ICU and when the grandma died. It reminds me of my own grandma when she passed away in March.

She was admitted to ICU too, so i can identify with all those tubes sticking out from the mouth. grandma went into ICU on friday morning. i remembered rushing down to the hospital to see her before going to fetch marcus and mabel from school. she could still see and probably recognise. i should have called her. when i left ICU on friday, i remembered there was one family who was crying very sadly.

on sat morning, received call to ask us to hurry down to the hospital. it was about 8in the morning. to cut long story short, bascially grandma's system is shutting down already. the doc is only injecting some medication to keep her heart alive as we were all waiting for one uncle to rush back from china. He could only reach Sg at night. so at intervals, we will all go in to see her. i remember massaging grandma's hands and toes. her toes were already cold and some parts, blackened already. her hands were very cold too.

at about 2am, it was decided that the doctor will not inject anymore. Grandma's system would just shut down gradually. For the next 15 mins, it was hell watching grandma fade away. It was and is still painful, thinking about it now. i remembered the bubbling of those yellowish substance at the mouth. That was why when i watch the movie, the make up artiste did a good job in portraying a person who juz died. but i dun remember grandma's face so pale.

anyway, as we keep talking to grandma, our cries got louder and louder, just like the familiy i saw on friday. we could see the heartbeat gradually dropping.

i remembered when we visited her in the hospital, she mentioned about the bed who was diagionally opposite her. She mentioned to us that the old woman is waiting for death. and my hubby asked grandma a funny question. he asked her if she was afraid of death or not. she smiled and said no. she sounded very confident in her answer. should have probed further to ask her why she was not afraid.

anyway, all it's over. i still do not have the courage to organise the funeral photos.

STI index

it fell through 1900 points!! hooray. ok, not gloating but had a side bet that it will fall below 1900 points. some feel that it would not, the index would be supported. anyway, i won the bet... my prize? a cup of kopi O.

now, we will increase the bet more. 1500 points or lower by end of Mar '09. Sakae Sushi lunch

i had inspiration to blog, but the moment i stepped into this stuffy room, all my inspiration evaporated. ok, let me try to blog about happy things...

1) had a wonderful weekend with kids. although friday is not feeling well, managed to have a fun filled weekend. saturday, brought the kids out for breakfast (which strangely enough, i can't seem to recall where we've brought them). lunch too, went to amoy street hawker centre, not many people, but we all manage to have a good bowl of fish noodle, which later inspire me to cook on sunday. then went on to peninsular plaza (maid wants to remit money back) and then to brewerkz.

on sunday, it was swimming day. but in the morning, the family came down to wash the car first. a good workout exercise for the whole family though the children didn't help much. then for lunch, cooked fish noodle for them. then it was swimming time in the afternoon. It was actually raining before we started. we seize the opportunity to get down to swim once the rain stopped. The kids have fun with their cousins. then as we were contemplating how to tell the kids that we should stop swimming and clean up, it started to rain again! just in time.

cleaned up and we all went for steamboat dinner. the kids had fun cooking their hot dog and even max was eating a lot.

2) you can say that max is quite toilet trained. he only needs a diaper at night before sleep. he could also say that he wants to pang sai. but have to watch his body language. because if he wants to urine, he would say 'sh sh a lot'. if he wants to pang sai, he would hold on to his backside and say 'sh sh'

even when we go out, he would say he wants to urine and even if he has a tummy ache. you just have to know where is the toilet and bring him to the toilet fast.

3) marcus and mabel exams are coming. don't force them a lot and keep asking them to do assessment. one day one assessment paper for english and maths. achieve that, you can have your freedom. we had all been through that. who could sit at the table for 6hours doing work non stop? even adults need a break, even adults know how to work hard and play hard. children are the same. plus i've been through those assessment books days, i never really liked it and had phobia of it. hence i also do not want to develop in them the phobia of doing assessment. As long as you have done an assessment paper and the results is satisfactory, acceptable, go ahead and have fun. childhood only occurs once, lose it, and it can never be the same again.

4) my mood swing is directly proportionate to my mil's mood swing. since last thursday, she had been down again. She was ok in the week of mabel's birthday, luckily. Since last thursday, she had been vomitting and complaining that backache, headache, tummyache etc.

i'm sorry, not that i'm heartless. but i think life still has to go on as usual. there are already 2 maids serving you, massaging for you, i know the pain is unbearable. we had asked the doctor to give you a stronger painkiller. the drug is a controlled drug, no subsidy and it's very expensive.

so that affects my mood swing because at home, it's quite tense. lukily i could retreat into my room.

anyway, that is all i want to say about family.

i miss my 3M

dunno why, looking at my children's pictures now, i suddenly miss them. how i wish time would tick faster so that i can be home to be with them. i have finished my marking, so today i shall devote all my time to them.

also having a splitting headache now.

on my religion

ok, let me clear the air. on my religion, nothing to hide and i hope i will not offend anyone with my post, it's just my personal thoughts.

i was a christian. ok, some may say, once baptized, always a christian. my mother's side family, all are christian. my mum brought me to church when i was young, am baptized when i was 8. was active in church during my teens, up to A levels. My teenage years were my most devout time. i played the piano for service, i went to many services and church camps.

but once i'm out working in the society, i've began to see the hypocritism of it all. plainly put it, some christians were not good witness of God, probably including myself, esp in church and family members. (i shall not elaborate on the incidents with family members who are so called christians. it disgust me even to mention about it)

so by and by, i stopped going to church. then it became i believe in myself. i believe that in times when you are facing difficulties, yes, you can pray to God for strength, but He will not solve the crisis for you, you will still have to face the challenge yourself and solve the crisis yourself. When you got no money, you had to humble yourself to ask people if they can lend or not, no one can help you. He will not drop the money from above.

so there you have it, my religion story. i shall not comment further. whether i'm now a free thinker, a buddhist, a christian, i dun care. I only care that now i do what is right and what keeps my conscience clear.

my thoughts for the day

1) stocks are crazy!!! one day, they can record the greatest loss, then one day they can record the greatest gain. what is next?

2) had this numb numb feeling at my fingers for the past 2 days. very scared i got stroke.

3) suddenly like got so many admin things to do, especially after the marking, cause it's the year end, lots of review and planning to be done for next year. ok, got to put on my thinking cap.... and start to strategise for next year!!!

4) jay chou's new album is out tomorrow!!!

my pledge to my 3 children

I've never felt so intense with marcus or mabel before. but max makes me feel a lot. just put down the phone and was talking to him.

max:mummy,mummy!
me: yes?
max: where you?
me: mummy work
max: mummy work har?
me: yes mummy work, wait mummy come back
max: ok. mummy, mummy, raining
me: yes, raining
max: mummy, mummy
me: yes?
max: mummy work har?
me: yes, wait mummy come back
max: ok. bye

max changed me a lot. he makes me prioritise my work and want to go home early to see the children. he makes me want to spend more time with the children. he makes me want to have more children. he makes me want to spend quality time with the children. he enriches my life.
ok, maybe i do kiss him a little bit more, but when i hug him, i also make sure i hug marcus and mabel.
i almost had to give max up, but he was back and i promise that i will love him with all my life and heart.

my wish for my 3 children: all of you are the best thing that had happened to me. in my life, i will provide so that you will be not be hungry. i will coach so that you will be able to handle life's challenges next time. i will love so that you feel loved and grow up happily in the love. remember, next time, no matter what difficulties you face, always remember home where you can seek refuge and support. this is mummy's pledge/oath to you.

mabe's birthday celebration at chalet

hmmm, ok, i'll load the pictures once i get hold of the photos.

let's see, the description first.
fri - checked in at around 4. then get ready the various things for BBQ. chalet is at east coast. accomodation, so so, can be greatly improved.
had to place the bbq pit near some lights, as the lighting is rather poor. so how to see if the food is cooked or not? lots of food for lots of people. then cut birthday cake at 9 plus. then guests start to leave slowly. mabel asked for permission to open her presents.
children slept at around 11 plus, we continued to drink until 2 plus (oh yah, ser, haven't pay you for the blue label yet) then went to sleep. wake up at 6 plus, the air con is very cold.

sat - woke up at 7am. too cold. got 2 coupons for breakfast. went for breakfast. we started at 7.30am. we were out of the cafe by 7.50am. cycled to macdonalds to buy breakfast for the children and coffee. after they had breakfast, we all went to the beach to play with sand. this part of east coast, the sand is much softer. the kids had a great time playing with sand. they had their pants wet while they tried to scoop water. the water looks so refreshing. so we all walked down to the sea. we were totally wet. all five of us. it was very new to the children. they have never really been in the sea before and they enjoyed swashing up and down with the waves.

after we go back, it's vege out time in the chalet because the children are waiting for their cousins to come and then go swimming together. so in the afternoon at about 2 plus, we wll went swimming. The children had a great time playing and swimming. they all had floats, especially max, so not afraid that he will fall. we went to the deeper pool and all of the children, including max had a swimming competition. of course, max lose, because all he could do was turn round and round on the spot. He is very funny. he said 'swimming...' then he pose a swimming pose. so cute. my sister in law bought a camera that can take pictures underwater. cool. the older children each had a picture of them taken underwater.

after bathing, we went cycling. by then, the children were so tired from the swimming, they were cycling so slowly. and max was sleeping!!! we hired a bicycle with a front seat for baby. so as we were cycling, suddenly max kept nodding his head, he actually fell asleep. so we had to turn back.

then as the children were back in the chalet, they had a game of monopoly with adrian junior while we busy ourselves with preparing the bbq once again. that nite, everybody went back at 10 plus. so tired today, slept at 12 midnight.

sun - woke at at 7.40am. with the blankets we brought from home, it was so much warmer to tuck underneath the blanket. again, went to the cafe for breakfast, also stayed less than 1/2 hour. went to BK to buy breakfast for them. after the children had their breakfast, it was one last swim before we check out. the children were so happy. after the swim, after bath, we checked out.

i'm glad that mabel and not forgetting marcus and max, had enjoyed themselves. it was very tiring to prepare for the chalet. do you know we brought so many things to the chalet (food and clothings and kettle and children's milk and bbq things) it looks like we shifting house like that. the chalet itself was tiring too becos the programme for the children is packed closely together. but it was a great bonding time with the children at night and they are considered good and well behaved. they could sleep anywhere, not cranky.

after we reached home, we just want to have a good meal. so we went to brewerkz to eat. the children, needless to say, ate the ice-cream and brownie. only drank 1 glass as was too tired and full. on the way back home, all of us were sleeping in the car. poor dear dear had to drive and i think max snored!

after we reached home, all of us immediately hit the bed and took a nap. It was a fruitful and packed weekend. which explains why now i have to keep marking because i didn't do any marking at all during the weekend. so i'll be ending now.

the STI index did fall below 2000 mark. not that it will affect me as i don't dabble with stocks.

there were predictions here and there about bad economy forecast for 2009, possibility of retrenchment.

What are my feelings for today?

been excited the past few days and been busy preparing for mabel's birthday the past few days. the reason why we decided to book chalet for her birthday this year is because last year, she celebrated her birthday at a coffeeshop! and marcus had his celebrated at chalet last year. so a bit not balance.

today is mabel's birthday! i think the children are the most excited. as for the adults, while my mil seems to have lightened up these few days as we talked to her about the chalet and she will be chipping in today to help in the preparation of food.

Been to giant to buy food for the BBQ. and 3M has been following us to buy the food items. also been to skp to buy the disposable stuff, 3M also followed. so they have been of some help. (help to carry things)

It is good that marcus has been following us these few days. i was surprised at his willingness to go out. he is usually that kind, no, i'd rather stay at home and play my psp games. these few times have been pleasantly surprised. well, since he wants to go, i allow. He needs to go out and be more street wise.

hope that today will be a fine day, well at least not a rainy evening or rainy night. i think my thoughts above are not very logical and the ideas don't seem to be flowing well. too many distractions and people talking to me.

what are my thoughts today?

1) the stock market fell for a consecutive 5th day. now my bet is whether STI index will fall below the 2000 mark.

2) compare and contrast. no, this is not about social studies, dun worry. correct, i teach students to compare and contrast in SBQ. but i hope that they will apply this skill to real life sparingly when they grow up.

was just discussing with a friend. yes, we can compare our past and present, our mistakes and our achievements. but some people just fall into the trap of comparing the wrong things. they compare whose position is higher, compare who is getting paid more, compare the type of vehicles you drive, compare the type of house you live, compare children's marks, compare whose children have how many enrichment classes. this kind of comparing is endless. there will always be someone who is higher, better than you in so many other ways. in the end, you become unhappy and not satisfied because of the endless chasing. You will never be happy.

instead of being envious, instead of complaining, instead of whining, you have a choice. instead of whining that other children get higher marks than your child, have you done any thing to help your child in their work? If you have, your child has done their best, then celebrate their successes, analyse their failures.

i will not comment on material things. i really think it's silly to compare material things. if the person drives a bmw, if the person has a rolex watch, if the person stays in the condo, this is their choice. You can also choose to. so stop comparing material things or equating material possessions to wealth. irks me much when people equate how many maids i have, the type of house i live in to my wealth. irks me, really irks me. stop being so shallow.

3) it also irks me to see luxury cars flounting traffic laws. fine, you are filthy rich, you buy ashton martin or maserati (i can't even spell them, ok, i'm shallow) i know, it's your wish, your choice. but the road belongs to everybody. so wat if you pay a huge amount of road tax? it doesn't mean that you have the right of way, it doesn't mean that you can anyhow illegal park at double yellow lines. does anybody have the LTA toll free line or something like that? i am sure to call LTA to report if i ever see these cars parking in a back alley at shenton way, double yellow line and causing obstruction to the traffic in the back alley! and also please drive safely on the road, the road belongs to everyone, everyone has a responsibility to look out for each other safety on the road. don't drive like you own the road, don't drive like you are a F1 racer. If you are so darn good at racing, go form your own F1team and you can race on Singapore road. But you have to be fast hor, we only have the right for 4 years. don't know where our traffic police all go to? only know how to catch lorry drivers or big truck drivers. these ** drivers who drive fast are equally hazardous.

driving on kpe

i like driving along kpe, becos in this tunnel, all vehicles are equalised. whether u are driving a lorry, big truck, van, car, picanto, mercedes, volvo, impreza, all have to travel at 70km/h. i love that.

by right, if everyone is driving at 70, then all should be kept at equal distance. but sometimes, u will see this car in the rear mirror, getting closer and closer to you. you know this person is not following the rule.

my thoughts for today:
yet another person has committed suicide by jumping off the block. this time it is a male, chinese, suspected age 40, i think the area is somewhere in the west. can't remember exactly which housing estate. so sad, why are so many people jumping off? why do they think of their life so cheaply? what is so difficult that they must die? will it solve their problem? what about those they left behind? the problem is not solved, you just pass on your problem to your loved ones. isn't that selfish?

Mum's 60th birthday

Photobucket Album

NB, friday night go changi village, want to eat the gong gong, the whole market and food centre is under some renovation works.
then at first, cross the road to the nearby pub. NB, all filipina serving drinks. had a jug and we left. then next to it, there is this coffeeshop, had some sambal sotong before we left.

the next morning, need to go ikea to buy some things, thought of having the salmon at ikea. NB, breakfast is served from 930am onwards. we were there at 830. so end up at giant eating breakfast, not that the food is exactly delicious, but what to do.

anyway, took the chance to check out the prices of food for Mabel's bbq. so roughly, we have an idea what to buy. This coming week will be a hectic week for us, have to prepare for mabel's chalet.

you know that feeling when you looking forward to go some place to eat something, then it's not open or somehow you didn't manage to eat, that feeling of disappointment is hard to describe. you feel disappointed, angry and really, the wtf feeling. but i guess we learn to manage the feelings, find alternative. this round didn't manage to eat, can always come back another week. yes, i'll be back to changi village for the gong gong.

mum and dad

yesterday night, mum celebrated her 60th birthday! when my sis upload the pics, then i'll 'steal' from her and upload the pics. and i noticed, her camera is full of max pictures! ok, back to mum. wah, 60 long years. must have not been easy for her. she has been working hard all these years, never stop working. wonder when she wants to retire. i'm lucky that at this age, she is still very mobile and independent. next time when i grow old, i also want to be independent so as not to trouble my children. maybe go on long vacation. We have a plan. we may want to go retire on an australian farm....

anyway, mum looks happy. for almost 25 years, ever since she and dad separated, she has brought us up. well, i can't say that it's perfect, but for all these years, she did not remarry. with her 3 grand children at her side, she looks contented.

and my dad called me juz now. surprise surprise. hmm, i was suppose to call him and tell him about mabel's birthday, so since he called, i might as well tell him. he called to find out about you, ser. wonder where he heard that you have resigned from KK and like asking from me a confirmation. told you he's against you working for them. his rationale, it's advisable not to have the whole family working in one company unless you have a share in it. If you are working for the company, might as well work outside. anyway, i've also updated him about your current situation.

the holiday came and go like that. today marks the beginning of the last quarter. soon, the new year will come and everything will start all over again. just random thoughts.

1) sometimes we may not marry the person we love most. but we make the best out of it, especially if children are involved. so is it love? is it gratitude? is it duty? i must be getting the anniversary jitters. grateful? happy? glad? frigtening? i don't know. my mum's side family, all of her sisters were either single or like my mum, divorced. but it must be wonderful to have someone who is willing to take your nonsense, to embrace your weakness and be with you all this while.

2)NB, electricity prices go up again!!

3)F1 comes to singapore does not mean that motorists can drive like them. so many times this few days i see on the road, cars driving like speedy gonzalas like that, totally ignoring the safety of other motorists.

4) the white dotted line means to give way before turning out to the main road. the white dotted line doesn't mean to turn out when you see a car approaching. i have met so many cars like that. the most serious one and one which almost involve an accident is a p plate and a big truck. luckily, there was no car on the other lanes, the big truck had e braked and the truck started to skid, the driver release the brake and turn into the outer 2 lanes to avoid this car. the car was so stunned that it stopped after it turned out. lagi jia lat. imagine the big truck, if it could not avoid the car, the car would be smashed into pieces and the p plate driver could have died.

sigh, tml got to wake up early. so happy to have a holiday today. max is fiddling with my hair as i'm typing this post now. crazy boy. then hugging me from behind. and he is so smelly, he pang sai and still denies. 'no, i never pang sai.' i'm going to change his diapers, otherwise i'll faint.

Today is a very tiring day and i guess it will be the one and only time it would happen.

have you ever need to handle a situation like this: in the middle of an examination, the light bulb fused and started a small fire in the lamp. the smell of the burning wire is horrible and you have a student who hyperventilating. You have over 150 students in the hall taking exams.

this calls for immediate evacuation. anyway, i shall not go into details the evacuation. students were settled in various classrooms and exam had to proceed. the students were given 1/2 hour make up time. so everything was delayed for 1/2 hour. it was a tiring day.

one thing i learnt from this incident. never take things for granted. i was flipping through the papers and we were given a paper to read to the students in case we need to evacuate them due to bomb threat or stuff like that. i was still laughing in my head that i wouldn't have a chance to read those instructions. i said too soon. it really happen. such a small thing, lamp, light bulb fused and fire started inside the lamp. If this lamp was not so high up, it would be easily extinguished. But this lamp was so high up, we couldn't not do anything but to watch the fire 'dancing' inside the lamp. I felt so helpless.

another thing i learnt was that, must always have contingency plan. never assume that things will go on smoothly.

luckily, all personnel and adults behaved in an appropriate manner and it had to be really quick thinking on our part. very exhausted now

I don't know how to blog and i don't know where to start.

Not blogging about my mil complaining about the maids doesn't mean that there is no problem. truth is, i'm very tired. it is the dunno how many times she is telling us, the maid is rude to her. the maid talked back to her. the maid argued with her. the maid keep the coins she found in our pocket.

ok, i know my two maids are not perfect. The one from myanmar, she is not very hardworking, she shows people that she is hardworking. she is stubborn and refuses to change some of the ways. the 3 children cannot really get along with her. but she is honest and she returns the money she found in our pockets. she is kind at heart. when my mil and the indonesian maid does not get along, she becomes the middleman.

the one from indonesia, she is hardworking, she can look after my mil well, getting ready her medicine and pushing the commode to the toilet. she knows what my mil wants to cook and she knows how to season the food for dinner with my mil's instruction. my mil can at least communicate, or should i say scold her because my mil can speak to her in malay. but she has not been honest. she keeps the coins that she found in our pockets. she is also not honest with my mil, she has told lies to my mil before, and my mil hates people to lie to her.

i do not know who is depressed now. my mil has been unreasonable of late, or should i say from july onwards. the first big incident involved me. then from that day onwards, i try not to interfere too much into the maid's affair. since july, she has been quite unreasonable towards the maid. one simple example, at first, she wants her medicine to be served to her by 8pm. then after a few days, she scolded the maid for bringing the medicine to her so early. as the medicine caused her to be drowsy and she feels sleepy early. then after a few days, at 9pm, or 9 plus, when the maid didn't bring her the medicine, she scolded the maid for not doing so. ??? bring it to her too early, she got scolded, bring it to her too late, also got scolded.

at this point, it is not wise for me to interfere. oh yes, i rememberd, there was once, i tried to be the good person. i asked my mil whether she wants her medicine. she thought that the maid asked me to ask her. omg. from then on, i know i better dun interrfere.

so from july till now, it's about 2 months plus. from the time she woke up, she would scold the maid. sometimes, it's unreasonable, sometimes it's valid. to us, sometimes, we close an eye to some of the things the maid do. keep scolding also no use, as long as they do their duties well, certain things let go abit.

and to add on to the problem, my mil has got depression. we didn't want to stop her because she would turn things around and say that we are on the maid's side and she feels that she has no power because she always feels that the maid thinks that i'm the employer, so the maids are always good in front of me, and in front of my mil, the maids dun respect her. that is how she feels. so sometimes i i dun interfere too much since she is the one who is mostly at home and dealing with the maid, so i did mention to the maid before in the july confrontation, that at home, ah ma is the 'biggest'. they must listen to ah ma, because i'm out working most of the time and i've let my mil be in charge of the house.

so it becomes very difficult for us. interfere or not to interfere. sometimes when she complains to me, inside my heart, i was wondering. ok, she is complaining to me. so am i suppose to react? if so, how should i react? scold the maid or console her that everything is fine? sometimes i balance between the two. cannot keep consoling her and cannot keep scolding the maid.

today was especially tiring because my mil got so angry that she cried. i really think her depression is really serious. it's just a small incident of the maid and her arguing over a $1 coin. apparently, the maid only buys 1 bubble tea instead of 2. the maid says mil only gives her $1. my mil said she gave her $2 and that the maid kept $1. apparently, that elusive $1 was stuck in between some tissue. the maid quickly said that she didn't put the $1 in the tissue, it was ah ma who did it. then according to my mil, the maid almost pushed the wheelchair into the drain.

they came home, they were still arguing. what they were arguing, i dunno, but when i came home, the myanmar maid told me that the indonesia maid took the knife and wanted to slit her wrist. the myanmar maid stopped her.

when we came home, we tried to settle the problem. we had to, my mil was crying and wanted to talk to us. so my husband suggested, if she is so unhappy with the indonesia maid, why don't we change over their duties so that the myanmar maid look after her? she flatly refused! i think we were all exasperated. we just want her to be happy and not let the issue of maid to make herself so angry and unhappy. what for? sometimes i feel that things go in a full circle. you keep scolding the maid and throwing things. (when she is fed up, she just throw the food or knife into the basin, sometimes narrowly missing the maid) so that's why the maid is behaving the same way to you. i always believe that there is a limit to people's patience.

i also talked to the maid just now that what she attempted to do today is dangerous. i asked her, when she did this, did she think of her mum back in indonesia? i know she has problems, then approach us, don't keep it all to herself. plus it's not like we ill treat her. that is what made me angry. i told her, we all know ah ma's condition, lost a limb, depressed. the maid also knows how many medicine my mil has to take each day. (28 in total, some medication, twice a day, some thrice a day) i told her, we all know ah ma's condition, i also understand her situation, so i tolong her to bear with it. i also tolong her not to do anything silly ever again.

that's why i always feel that my grandma is really a good grandma. from the time she had a major heart attack to the time she died, total of about 6 weeks. even though she has recovered from the massive heart attack, she would need a lot of care at home as her heart has weakend tremendously. if she prolonged, her children would suffer. so she choose to go quicly. i feel that my aunties and uncles are all very lucky. they would never understand the pain and suffering one has to go through to look after a seriously ill person at home.

my mil has had diabetes for almost 10 or 11 years. ever since i got married. her depression started in 2003/04. she lost a limb to diabetes for nearly a year now. ever since she became a handicapped, i can fully understand the what it is to have and look after a handicap person. and to add on to it, she has depression. her depression escalated in the past few months. these past few months have been tiring. At first, we thought that everything was ok. but things took a turn for the worse in the past few months, since term 3 begin.

i'm not sure if mil feels inferior. i'm not good at counselling people especially adults. i've been blogging for the past 45 minutes, i think i should stop. still need to wake up early tomorrow morning.

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20080925/tap-282-maternity-perks-urged-maids-231650b.html

i'm not at all excited with this piece of news.

Asked if domestic helpers should be allowed to give birth here, Home’s (the NGO who is suggesting this) executive director Jolovan Wham told Today: “We don’t have a view on that yet. But we are suggesting that they be given the 12—week maternity leave currently available toeither deliver their babies here or back in their home country.”

Work permit and security bond conditions prohibit female work permit holders, including maids, from getting pregnant.

giving them equal maternity perks is encouraging to find a husband in singapore to settle down. and duh, if they are pregnant, they would not be even able to come to Singapore to work in the first place. and duh, domestic maids go for half yearly check up and if they are pregnant, they would have to go back. duh duh duh. and if you do not have a view whether they be allowed to give birth here, then dun suggest such stupid suggestion.

The two groups also argued that the current standard contract agreed by the accreditation bodies, CaseTrust and the Association of Employment Agencies (Singapore), does not provide for paid sick leave, annual leave and public holidays. Nor does it specify expected work hours and payment for overtime work. These should be brought in line with current labour legislation, they argued.

let me see.... in my contract agreement, my current myanmar maid has annual leave, oops, sorry, bi-annual leave. At the end of 2 years, if she wants to continue to work with us, we have to let her go back 1 month to visit her family. (30 days for 2 years, some Singapore workers have only 14 days annual leave, ie, 28 days for 2 years) and if she does not want to go home, we have to pay her an extra month of her salary. so they do have certain benefits in this area.

as for the specific expected work and overtime work, how should i say? put it this way, if you can calculate and quantify the number of hours a full time housewife works, then we will be able to do the same for domestic workers.

imagine, if we specify, working hours from 9am - 5pm. ok, i'm fine with starting at 9am. that means me, as a mum, will wake up before 6am, get myself ready for work, then at 6am, wake my children to get them ready for school. I will also try to make my bed, make their beds, then rush out of the house before 6.30am to beat the traffic. all this while, my maids will still be sleeping in the room becos they will only start work at 9am.

Ok, let’s deal with the 5pm knock off time. This means that I’ll have to be home before 5pm, if the companies allow. Then cook dinner for the family, (should I also cook for my maid?) then when we have dinner, invite her to sit together with us for dinner. I’ll set the table, feed my children, after which I’ll have my dinner, then as the whole family is watching tv (maybe including the maid, their welfare, right!?! We need to look after their welfare) I’ll be washing the dishes, sweeping the kitchen and dining area, mopping the kitchen and dining area. Then change pyjamas for my kids and then put them in bed. All this while, my maids will be watching tv, or shaking leg in her room because she ends work at 5pm.

So what is the point of hiring a maid if I have to do another 50% of the housework myself? so before this is implemented, maybe we should build a dormitory for maids, let them go back and rest after they knock off work at 5pm. Then with the ample free time at night, they can go moonlighting, oh yeah, then we can kick in the maternity perks. No problem.

Some employ the maids as full time care giver to the sick and elderly. So can my maid tell my mil, ‘sorry ah ma, I work until 5pm. After 5pm, u want to go toilet, you push yourself into the toilet.’ Even if you talk about split shifts, 9am-1pm, then 5pm – 9pm. So if my mil fell down at 3pm, so my maid will tell her, ‘sorry ah ma, now not my working hour. You fall down, u pick yourself up.’ Or ‘u fall down, I help you up, I claim OT.’ Ha, that would be hilarious.

I’m sorry, I’m not being mean or sarcastic. Leave and pay wise, if you want to ensure a minimum wage, fine, go ahead. But certain things just cannot seem to happen. Because the working hours of housewife cannot be quantified. Ask any full time housewife.

Actually, the maids’ busiest time is in the morning and evening. I know my maids are very free in the afternoon from 2- about 5.30pm. They usually sit in the kitchens. I understand and do not expect them to be finding work to do as long as you have done your duties well.

I’m just infuriated with some of the recommendations they are suggesting. Of course, I know where these two NGOs are coming from. Recently, a whole family was charged in court for maid abuse, I really feel sorry for the maid. Maybe that’s why the NGOs feel that they have to do something to protect the welfare of the maids and thus come out with a few recommendations.

ok, it's friday. there were a few things on my mind, but after explaining things to some older colleagues, i got a bit pissed and i can't remember what i want to say.

1) this morning's lightning was so..... when i stepped out of the car, there was this bright flash of lightning, i thought someone tooke a picture with the flash light. the light just explodes in your eyes like that. then i heard the thunder, oh, silly me, then i realise it's the lightning.

2) it's friday, i will learn to relax. see if Ser is free to meet up or not, since she is back in sg. But judging by her to-do list when she is in sg, i doubt she is free. haha.

3) mabel's birthday is coming and we booked a chalet at east coast. yeah, very excited. and not to forget, it's our 10th year anniversary for customary. i must go get the video tapes on vcd.

ok, signing out. i need to keep my sanity for the day.

looking at my blog, i realise that my blogskin is not as nice as my students' blog. anyway, it really took me a loonnnnggggggggggg time to go through all their blogs, it's like i spend almost half a day going through their blogs. omg, if i were to do that every day, then think i'll be able to get anything done. but i think i can subscribe to them, so i suppose i'll get updates when they update their blog.

yeah, i was angry with 3E1 yesterday. and when i'm angry, i dun want to talk cos i feel that when i'm angry, my frequency is disturbed and then my mind will think faster than i talk, then i can feel the wrong words coming out. so when i'm angry, i usually shut my mouth. i dun want to hurt anybody with my angry words.

to some of the students, i know i cannot be too kind. stern face.

the other thing that i was distracted with today is the article on new paper. about this girl whose obsence pictures have been circulating around the net. she claims that her ex boyfriend has been doing that. well, i'm not to judge who was the one who circulated the pics.

but it disturbed me because i really cannot understand what the youngsters are thinking.

1) yes, it is your blog, you can blog about anything. but then be responsible in whatever you blog. You cannot blog that you all went stealing.. it's just not the right thing to blog. what if u read my blog and i blog about something not acceptable? what would you do?

2) and dun believe your bf next time if they say, the pictures is only between you and me. dun be so guillible and believe him! girls are always on the losing end. people are not interested in naked guy pic, so they have nothing to lose. so if they say something like that, tell them to go fly kite.

3) doing obsence acts at public places is an offence! bear that in mind. keep your passion to yourself in your own privacy.

on one hand, we cannot blame youngsters for experimenting with their hps, but on the other, we cannot tolerate such acts.

On recent milk scare case and the guy who ran away after hitting a pedestrian and a taxi along AMK ave 5, two words to summarise 'moral integrity'

i'm no saint either, but the milk thing is too much. This is food, consumed by children, it is really not ethical.

as for the guy who ran away from the accident scene, i dunno. It seems that some people just panic after the accident. but to run away, really, i guess it speaks a lot about the person. Adversity reflects the character of a person.

i was involved in an accident before. the two guys on the motorbike flew off their bike. i was scared, really scared. my first intuition, did the guy die? 2nd, call police, call ambulance. 3rd, in my mind, what really happen? i remembered sitting down on the road, offered my leg as head rest for one of them until the ambulance arrived.

anyway, i was just thinking about these two articles during morning assembly. Then i looked at the students. Then i reflected, have i taught them anything that would let them handle challenges? have i taught them anything about integrity? about ethnics?

I have broken my last year's, 2004, and 2006 records. i wonder how come i have 189 posts in 2005. I'm still a long way to 189.

Lantern festival

East Coast Park