Outing with 3m, day 3

So today wasn't exactly sunny, I took a very long time before I decided to proceed on with sentosa plan. We are just going to hang out at the beach.

When we reach there, we had lunch at the food court first. Then we head to a nice spot on the beach. We laid out the mat and place our things on top.

Marcus and Mabel mostly played in the water, soaking themselves on the water, max played with the sand on the beach. I sat on the mat. Only when max wanted to go into the water, I accompanied him while keeping a look out on our belongings.

Outing with 3m, wed 21 dec

Today, we went to the titanic artifact exhibition.

It was an eye opener, and I try to relate to them the science part on the rivets, the different class cabin, and of we were to go on the cruise, it would be similarly like that, minus the sinking, of course.

There is no photography and video allowed inside.

Outings with 3M, Tuesday, 20 dec

Finally, Marcus is officially free to go anywhere since his 14 days are over! So glad Mabel didn't break out in chicken pox. So this week, to make up for the misse vacation, I going to bring them out.

On this day, we went explorer kids. They played for 2 and half hours. Marcus and Mabel played the adventure thing for a few times. (we bought the $25 flat rate per child promotion). Max played on the big playground and made two friends. They also went to ballocity. After that we had lunch.

On planning, we were suppose to go swim, but the sky was dark so we called off the swim and we went to buy xmas presents instead.

After we came home, Mabel did all the wrapping of the presents.

partied until knock out

There are two report at stomp recently about young people partying so hard that they slept on the floor in the public, I'm wondering if they lose their belongings the next morning they woke up. If they didn't lose their belongings, (the recent stomp incident, the man's briefcase was in between his legs) I'm amazed. If it is in another country, i believe, your briefcase, wallet, maybe even belt, keychain will all be gone!

numbers

wow, this is my 1800th post. cool. sigh, back to numbers again, why is it that we must always quantify things? work wise: KPIs, percentage passes, percentage distinction, no.of assignments, no. of tests, no. of hours of training, MSG etc etc, the list is endless. depressing family: marks, now, i'm even looking and counting my blog posts.

what a joke!

since comfort raised its taxi fare and extended its peak hours, many commuters are boycotting taxis. That is understandable. So, many commuters are taking the MRT. I was thinking, the MRT must be really crowded these few days.

and guess what, circle line MRT broke down this morning!!!!!!! hahahahaha, what a joke.

Supper

We had a crazy idea for supper. Steamboat!!!! Yes, dunno why. And it's japanese kind of steam boat. We started at 9 plus, a quick, short one, by 10 plus, we are full and done.

Insect bite

Dunno what bite yesterday. See, it's slightly swollen. Can't walk properly, ouch.

幸福

幸福没那么容易，所以特别着迷。
人家说幸福是自己争取的，争取的过程不简单，使人很想放弃，因为幸福好像遥不可及。
其实什么是幸福？你真的幸福吗？真的快乐吗？你认为你得了幸福，就会快乐吗？
你幸福吗？你快乐吗？

Sunshine

Weather looks overcast. Just like life now, where is the sunshine of my life?

Full moon

Look at the moon. Full moon.
Ok, please excuse the poor quality, using iPhone, not SLR.

Outing part 4

We changed into our swim suit, but guess what, before we could even jump into the pool, it rained heavily. So we are sitting down and wait for it to stop raining.

So when it stopped raining, we quickly went to swim.

Outing part 3

After explorer kid, we went for lunch at waraku, we were so hungry!

Outing part 2

Ok, we have safely reached explorer kids. Max still dare not slide down the slide at mega play.

Finally aft some coaxing, he's able to. Pictures!

Day out with Mabel and max, part 1

Today decided to bring Mabel and max out after getting Marcus' understanding. Poor Marcus, put on record.

Now we are having breakfast first before heading to explorer kids.

Water marbling nail art

Alright, so I've heard about this water marbling nail art. But my sis and Mabel are actually trying it out. Not easy, I would say. Ha, sorry, but I don't have the patience.

things happen for a reason

i believe things happen for a reason, but right now, it would help if i can know what is the reason NOW. but it's usually not the case, God will make you wait, trials, to train up your soul.

anyway, this holiday has been eventful with lots of cancellation of trip, from my world vision trip to the china groupon trip to this cruise thing. I know it's for the good of something, i just dunno what good will come out of it.

damn, it's very very painful.

been the worst holiday ever

Been the worst holiday ever, wave after wave of bad news that hits, just when i thought that i had recovered and stood up again from the last wave, another wave just hit me again. i want to say, i'm battered, totally battered, i have no energy to fight the wave and like the blog title says, i really feel like a block of wood, drifting at sea.

i know about thinking positively and standing up again, but i need to let out some bad air (smelly air?), acknowledge my negative feelings, so that it no longer exists and then let the positive feelings sink in, right? so please excuse this blog because it's definitely an outlet for my negativity and i promise after negative feelings are acknowledged, i will stand up again. So, please, this blog is not directed at anybody, please do not be over sensitive. 如有雷同，纯属巧合。

i was devastated when i saw marcus rashes on his body, and i still told myself, rashes, no worries, still trying to bluff myself, but at the back of my mind, i think i knew the answer. and i didn't want to accept the fact, accept the reality. when i bring marcus to see the doctor, while registering, i was still hoping that it's rash.

i do not know why i did want to accept that he has chicken pox. In the morning, actually, i was in a bad mood, but i could say that i did a good job in controlling my temper. i refrain from speaking lest i say the wrong thing, i refrain from scolding the children and setting a bad example on anger management.

so it wasn't healthy to keep it all inside, hence i really really need to let it out and once and for all, get it over and done with.

I guess i was affected, because i'm in a dilemma if should cancel the vacation. Marcus is definitely not going, the painful decision is should the whole family's vacation be cancelled as well? Trust me, it was very difficult to make a decision and when i was angry, i didn't want to make any decision, found out the various options etc. I know i make hasty and unsound and stupid decisions when i am angry.

so it sets me thinking, should i? should i not? already, the whole family has not been going outings due to Max chicken pox, and now Marcus got it. And the whole family is kind of looking forward to this holiday trip. It is indeed very difficult. Some people say bo pian, already got the chicken pox, no choice. Why don't the person try wearing my shoes and i turn around and tell the person, no choice. But i know the person is trying to cheer me up.

Actually come to think of it, it's worse if there is no one to blame. Don't misunderstand me again, I'm not trying to blame someone. Really, there is no one to blame, that makes it worse, because you can't scold anyone, no one is at fault.

so whether i like it or not, i still have to make a decision, should i or should i not cancel the whole family's vacation?

Reflections on health

Am currently at national cancer centre with my dad. Looking around, you can't help but feel that there are so many people with cancer. It's a sure sign, they will either be bald or be wearing a hat. Some will have tubes attached to their nose.

If you se an elderly patient, it's quite normal. But if you see a young person, somehow u feel sad.

Life is indeed fragile, health is indeed important.

(KTV)吳克群-我能給的[高畫質版]

ouch, this song is nice.

潘瑋柏-我們都怕痛 [KTV]

just find this song painfully beautiful

[KTV]許哲佩.-.白色婚禮.mpg

the more i hear this song, the more i like it

wonder how daddy is doing

today dad went for his first session of chemo, wonder how he is doing. didn't want to disturb him today as i think he would be very tired from the session.

anyway, juz dun feel good today. sucky feeling the whole day.
just like this

再说一次我爱你

3rd time watching this show, 3rd time crying.

Don't know, many emotions, I don't know where to start.

I kept typing and deleting. Anyway, a range of emotions after the show.

Lucky I finished the show alone, otherwise some people is going to suan me say I sentimental, only a show, dunno y women always cry watching show and movie.

Mood swing

Sometimes I feel that my mood swings faster than the weather change from sunny to dark sky.

Update on max

For an active boy like Max, to have chicken pox and having to stay at home is like keeping a wild bird in a cage.

He has been obedient, understanding that he can't go out. But I think he is going a little crazy.

Yesterday, went to Chinese medical hall, bought him a kind of powder that will help it to dry up faster. Then for his face, I used my facial cream which has vitamin c to apply for him, it seems to be healing faster.

iPhone 4S

Finally, after 4 days of waiting, and to think that i was the 1st one to order, I got my iPhone 4s.

It was fun to play with Siri. Actually I kind of like siri's composure. When u scold her stupid, she said, am I?

Mmm if only I can have siri's composure.

a house along Great Ocean Road

This is a house along Great Ocean Road, if this is my house, i'll not go to work.

Snippets of life

Max said I looked cute when he saw me last night.

This morning, When I looked at myself in the mirror, I got a shock. Couldn't recognize the person in the mirror, then realised it's me. Takes some time to get use to.

Finding peace, finding meaning of life

With my ear piece, listening to songs on iPhone, ordered breakfast, eaten my bf, just sitting down here. In the midst of the morning peak hours, people rushing to work, walking hurriedly to catch their train, I tried to find peace.

What an uncanny way to find peace. Peace is an elusive commodity. I look at the people who walked past, do they find their peace? Are they at peace? Why is peace elusive? What is peace? We can do many things on the surface, laugh, joke, but do we have the peace in our heart? Been sighing often these few days. Peace has eluded me these few days. Been tired, feels heavy hearted.

I know, a person does not find peace as long as there are unsettled issues. But if u want to find true peace, be like a deity, meditate and leave the material world behind, probably you will find true peace. But as for now, I would like to find some peace amidst this hectic pace of life.

New look

Slightly different look. People, dun say I didn't warn you.

Still tired

Feeling very tired, handling some neglected issues at home and many more other issues to settle. Why do holidays give people this kind of mood? The mood to get into a mischief and then have to control damage.

wish I can continue to sleep and not wake up. Wish I'm like sleeping beauty, only to be awoken by the kiss of my true love.

Damage control

Doing lots of damage control today.

Then who come and control my damages? Still got to smile at colleagues at training.

三字经

养不教， 父之过, 教不严，师之惰。

这句话，你听过吗？
我不会教孩子吗？ 我是个失败者吗？

eating disorder

Do I have an eating disorder? once i smell food being fried, i feel full, disgusted. I feel like digging out the food in my stomach. It's only when i smell food being fried, that i have such a strong repulsive feeling.

Marcus report book

Taking a closet look at Marcus report book, actually hor, he improved! English from 69 to 72, Chinese from 32 to 42, maths is the only one that fail, 58 to 50 (after adding mid year, his
Overall pass) , science improve from 61.5 to 63.

Overall percentage, 55.3 to 56.8
Level position from 87 to 78.

It wasn't as bad as I expected.

But still, he has lots of room for improvement as he is capable of achieving better results.

Why do I sound like I'm writing form teacher remarks?

for memory sake

recalling the places my dad used to bring us:

yes, morning bf at sheraton hotel, how cool can that be, with that fountain flowing. i think the reason why we had breakfast there was because we had church at hotel asia which was next door.

kenny rogers, it was my dad who brought us there for food, suntec city's outlet.

tony rama at orchard hotel. it was my first time and no, no other guys has brought me there, only dad.

jacks' place, particularly remember the one at killiney road, think it's no longer there anymore.

foul mood

ever get the feeling of a foul mood for the day? not freakingly foul, but just foul. U get angry over the slightest thing like dropping a piece of paper etc.

why am i in a foul mood then? I dunno. Maybe i'm angry with being fat (so repulsive), angry with stupid middle finger (dunno when it will gain back its utility), maybe i'm still angry with marcus after seeing his exam papers last night, maybe i'm angry to do the things that i do not want to do but yet i've to do it out of no choice.

maybe i'm angry with nothing at all, it will pass.

of mabel

Mabel is in China now. last night, max told me that he misses mabel as marcus don't really like to play with him.

Happy that Mabel get selected to go to China with the school.

Though Mabel is not among the top 15% in her level, (15% of 160 plus students is level position 21 and above) i think she has level position 24. But overall, I'm happy that she has made improvements in her Maths especially in the areas of problem sums.

She wants to do 4 standard subjects and 1 higher chinese next year.

meet Max's teachers

realized that when you have th inspiration, you must blog, otherwise you will forget what you intended to blog.

anyway, yesterday went to meet max's teachers. Good and positive comments from teachers. That is good. The Chinese teacher really don't know what she can tell me except that Max is one of the better students in class.

generally, Max is obedient in school, takes his work seriously, helps other students, learns things fast. He only have to improve on his handwriting, still mixing up small and big letters.

happy for him

thoughts

that night, looking at dad, lying on the hospital, looking at how auntie looks after him, she massaged his legs, gave him water, i just feel that somehow, my dad is blessed. at least he has his the other half to look after him. i mean this is the other half whom he left his family to be with.

don't misunderstand, i'm not angry, upset or complaining here. ok, two thoughts here:

1) i kind of like pity my mum. now that she is all alone when her children are all grown up. but i guess, it was her choice. i mean as much as i'm a loner, i would be afraid if i'm all alone when i'm old. so i can understand her fears.

2) but then again, for the sake of having a company when u grow old, if it's just another half that you can live with, would you be happy and feel blessed? well, my dad chose to be with auntie in the earlier years, started life anew with her, does he feel blessed?

are you happy and truly blessed? 同一句话，你快乐吗？你幸福吗？

heart pain

yesterday, when i went to the hospital to see my dad, it pains me to see a healthy person being operated. it must be painful for him to go through such a major operation.

then his sisters and brothers and in law, all came to see him, it was like a mini CNY gathering. Hence, it was a long time since i saw these aunties and uncles, so it was kind of catching up with them too.

Failure

Feels like shouting out loud now. As a mum to my children, I failed. As a daughter, (in law too), I also fail. At work, I also fail. What have I achieved? Worthless. Might as well die,y absence won't be noticed.

I don't know how to teaching own children anymore.

Sad, disappointed

Came home early today. Thought want to bring Marcus to ikea for lunch as he has been browsing through the catalog recently. When he reached home, he told me his exam results. The most disappointing was maths. 44/100.

I was so disappointed, so so so disappointed. All the work, screaming, doing of assessment, sigh. Makes me wonder if I should continue with what I do next year, no results.

Failure. I failed as a mum

watching HK drama serials again

i started 2 HK drama serials again last nite, i think i watched 5 episodes in all, couldn't complete the other 2 episodes. i started at 1030pm, by the time i finish the 5th episode, it was already 2 plus and i'm waking up at 5 plus!!!! so decided to switch off the television and start to sleep.

A little zombie, but can manage. work load is lighter now, so should be able to manage.

spending time with children

last night, had a good time with children in the balcony. It started with them playing draught and max and i were playing snake and ladder. Then after the two or three rounds of games, they got bored. So we decided to sing campfire songs and doing the actions. It was so hilarious and we all had a good time.

songs that deal with autumn and winter

was listening to jay chou's songs on iPhone. 枫

这是枫叶的枫吗？一说起枫，我就想起秋天 和冬天。秋天和落下的枫叶是漂亮的。在冬天，与相爱的人一起看着飘落的雪片也很浪漫。

歌是伤感些，希望心情能快乐些。

安静是平静。平静好吗？你要轰轰烈烈地爱一次，还是要平平静静就这样过你下半辈子？

无论如何，平常心吧！

Osim chair

Osim donated the udivine chair and it's now placed in the staff lounge.

I had a go at it yesterday. Well, what I like (not advertising for the chair) is u can plug in your phone and listen to the music while massaging. The speaker is just beside your ear.

I massaged my aching neck and shoulders, (don't want to depend on loved ones to give massage). It was good, I needed that massage and after that, you can feel that the shoulders are really aching and the tense muscle was loosen.

But then again, a chair is a chair, just can't replicate that human touch.


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Working hard

Today, I worked very hard, very serious in my work, finding information. Seems like the most hardworking day of my life for this year.

Ser, you are right, sometimes just feel like, wake up and on the spur of the moment, pack and buy a ticket to go somewhere.


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busy busy busy

sorry, not been updating my blog on a regular basis. one reason is because maybe i have learn to talk less, keep my mouth shut. but i think the real reason is because i'm busy these few days, cheonging for exams, cheonging marking. and preparing my own children for their exam.

so i'm looking forward and counting down to first 31/10 and then 4/11 where my subject o level paper is over. count down starts now.

Math Fail

Math Fail


Hahaha, maths really fail. and stupid me, took me a while to realize..... that was my lol.... at my own silliness

Gardening

Plants having this white spots thing again, not very good, right?


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痴心绝对-李圣杰

忽然听到这守歌，突然感触很深， 心很痛

updating iOS 5

it is a very painful process, i can say. download updates for iTunes, updates for Lion OS, then restart computer, then download iOS 5, then now slowly restoring the apps, then restoring videos/music!!!!!!

and i started at 8am, painful process.

Update on middle finger

After check up, finger is on a splint. Right, the medical term?





Mmm, at least my 2nd finger gain its freedom. So now I would appear to be ver vulgar when I hold a pen or a fork as I'm always pointing my middle finger. Ha.

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