ok, i'm testing this out. this icon must be there for a long time for me to upload my pictures, now good, dun need to go to photobucket. i can upload directly here and then blog.

been trying to post video, but cannot. some problem occur

ok, i've linked my class' blog. next, i've upload 2 videos of my children on youtube. those were pictures taken in 2005. feel so good putting it together and uploading it. in time to come, i'll upload max's videos

tiring weekend, will be a tiring week this week too with so many things going on and so many things to do.

arghhhhhh, everyone is sleeping so soundly. actually wanted to blog about issues with maid, but tired already, dun waste my energy here. better spent going to sleep

that day when i went to a full day workshop at suntec, attended a workshop session in the afternoon. It is like this, there were many sessions going on, we just had to sign up for whichever workshop that interest you. Well, needless to say, the Hossan Leong's workshop was full, so i went to another one. 'Seeing little red dot through the lens'

yes, it's about photography. but of course, the speaker had to integrate NE into the workshop which he did. He is a photographer with mypaper. funny guy. of course he showed us many of his photos. i enjoyed the workshop.

After the workshop, hands itchy, feel like snapping pictures again. i have snapped quite a few photos during the recce trips which i brought students to. just that, i dun have the time to really download it here.

can't help but must blog this.

am wearing those heel shoes which are pointed at the front. then just think of a few things related to the shoes.

some people may have a fetish with such shoes.

great, i can now poke students in the butt with the shoes if they are not doing their silent reading!!! hahaha!!!!

argh, hate it when i hit rock bottom with work. totally demotivated. then this is the time again when i start questioning myself, for wat i work so hard?

feel bad about not spending enough time with my children or to supervise marcus' schoolwork. go and supervise other people's children's schoolwork for wat.

i know i will feel better as days goes by and i'll pick myself up again. but as of now, i'm juz disheartened.

hmmm, should update about son son. let's see.... now that he is almost 14 months old... well, he is of course learning how to walk. he can stand up, he can walk if you hold his hands. if alone, he hesitates to take the first step. but if you hold him, he walks fast, though still a bit unsteady. and he loves to climb up and down the staircase. oh yah, he skip the crawling stage.

now that he knows how to walk, he knows that he can go places. his personality is shaping up. he knows where he wants to go, what he wants, then he'll raise up his hand and 'eh'. he is very naughty. and he is very playful. he doesn't want to sleep, only wants to play. next time when he grows up, he is also one who doesn't stays at home, becos he loves going out. sometimes bring him out to buy dinner, when we are approaching the house, he will turn his back and just refuse to walk back to the house. and when you wear shoes for him, he knows he's going out and he will be very happy and excited.

He is also very smart. he loves to play with toy cars. his brother's toy cars. i only need to teach him once, to push the car and say 'vroom vroom', now when he plays with the cars, he'll do exactly the same, just that he didn't really sound it 'vroom'. then sometimes, he will throw things just to see them fall.

one thing good is he will give you his toys and he wants you to play with him. at least he knows how to share. the only person he doesn't share his toys with is marcus, becos marcus doesn't share his toys with his brother. so what goes round comes round.

now, training him to sleep beside me at night. will slowly wean him off from the cradle. i love hugging him and sleep.

just realise that i have a passion for conducting workshop. It's different from teaching students. somehow adults can understand instructions better and when they participate, the whole event is actually successful and fruitful.

at least i know that hard work is paid off.

been 2 weeks since my last update. been very busy with work. but at the same time, i've thought about work, life. i guess when u reach a point of burn out, u tend to take a step back to reflect what is all this for?

Work, no doubt is busy, this is the busiest time of the year. with so many things to do and straddle and manage, sometimes u can't help but wonder why? why we work so hard and others can just 'chao keng' and do the minimum? this is not fair, i know, i know very well, life is not fair.

this morning as i was sipping coffee and just thinking... something juz hit me in the head and i juz got emo.

anyway, what will keep me going are my 3 children. as marcus and mabel is growing up, expectation is for them to be more independent and of course, academic performance. as for son son, his character is shaping. he is very talkative, his smiles charm me. he can by trying at times also, but slowly teach him lor. he woke up at 4 plus again this morning. maybe that is why i needed my coffee this morning.

whatever life brings, juz be it. most important, my children are happy. most important, you are happy.

dear max woke up at 2 something last nite. well, his pampers was wet and his pyjamas was wet. ok, fine, then i changed for him. but after that, he just refused to go to sleep. after 2 hours of shaking him, i decided to carry him up and then juz let him play toys. even until 5 plus, i thought he might want to sleep, so that I can catch some sleep before my alarm rings at 545am!!!! but he doesn't want to sleep. sigh, no choice, carry him again.

hence i think today's mood is so-so, will try to keep myself going. better have nothing to trigger and make the mood foul. cross my fingers...

flower craze

been trying to hone my green fingers lately. bought two plants (in fact, one was given to me), one is the 'ang hui' which loosely translated 'red flower' plant. another is the orchid. looked up information about orchids on the internet. needed tips on how to grow them well. now a new stalk is coming out, so happy.

the other one, as i dunno the english name, i'm still trying to test out.

i remember last time i came across a website which gives you ideas on how to arrange flowers. some are quite unconventional way of arranging flowers. it's a very interesting website, but i've since lost it... can't find it in my history files either, i dun have the slightest idea the name. juz know it's a uk based website. sharks, i should have added it to my favourite.

anyway, chance upon marthastewartc.om. great ideas in different categories. if i'm at home during the weekdays, i try to catch the show on channel 5, 12 noon.

recent 2 murders

As the interesting details about the two murders surfaced over the newspaper the past few days, i cannot help it but my heart goes out to the children.

ok, marital problems.... why must you kill your the other party? didn't you think of your children? you really think that by killing your husband, your children will accept your new boyfriend as daddy? have you spared a thought for your children? i really pity them. as in the case of the woman who was killed by the husband, her two children are so young! age 2 and 4... my god... so sad, the father will be in jail or probably hang, the mother is dead.

then the other case where the husband was killed... i really dunno how to say. i think if i'm the 9 year old daughter, i will hate the mother forever.

so for my children, a happy family i will give them.

again, thought i've lots to say, but now that i've logged in, i also dunno wat to say.

went to giant on sat to buy things. well, over there, u must not be kind and give in, esp the seafood session and the vegetable section. will lose out one, those aunties grab things, like nobody's business.

it's only 1st of july... 11 more days to pay day... :(

just did a Multiple Intelligence test. and this is my result



You're a Visual/Spatial Intelligence!

The Multiple Intelligences Test
Brought to you by Tickle

10th anniversary

soon, it will be 9th July. remember 9.7.97? so fast, in a blink, it has been 10 years. well, 10 years is definitely not short, neither can you say it's long.

but 10 long years of marriage. no doubt there were ups and downs, we weathered so much together, it makes me appreciate us more.

dear lao gong, i juz want to thank you for always being there for me, always so patient with me, always loving me, no matter how cranky i can be sometimes or unreasonable.

i juz want to wish us many more 10 years to come, children to grow up happy in the warmth of the family and i love you, always. till eternity, till death do us apart.

not been updating recently because busy with new house. finally, moved into new house on 16th June. must put on record, thanks to kian and bing for helping out with the moving.

in fact, a few days before, was busy moving some bulky stuff and unpacking some kitchen stuff. stressed and no appetite. wash toilet and cooker hood until i want to vomit.

after shifting in...well, finally relieved. everything went smoothly on the actual day. but i was dead tired. glad the children like it. this makes all the pain and effort and sweat worth it. For them, we will hold the fortress.

not really in the mood to blog, cos too relax, not settled down and many things to do. also affected by some photos i juz saw. and it's 4 pm already, i want to go home!

thought i have so many things to say, but i've been staring into the screen for the past 5 mins, i do not know how to start.

forgiveness.... i totally agree with Osho that it's not whether a person is worthy or not to be forgiven. it's actually all inside our heart, whether we are ready to forgive. that is why although i've printed out the article on forgiveness, i've put off reading it because i know in my heart, i'm not ready.

aiya, inside my head, a lot of things to think and worry, not in the mood to blog

hmmm, let me see, wat did we do over the weekend? hmmm, can't rem much.... juz remember vesak day seems like a sunday,and sat also seems like a sunday...

anyway, on friday afternoon, went to pc show. so darn crowded, have to park at esplanade. well, looked around, didn't really buy anything. look see look see only.

on saturday... can't remember much, at night went junction 8, secret receipe to have dinner. hmmm, max actually finish 3/4 of the cake, he loves the chocolate cake.

on sunday... let me see, ah, early in the morning, go toa payoh report for service learning project. actually come to think of it hor, very silly leh, i should juz submit my students' name, then i act smart, go and submit my name.... so have to do lor. aiyah... but it was fun doing it. maybe becos of age, i am more daring to approach people to donate. it's an interesting 5 hours.

mabel has been going to my mum's place to stay over on sat nites becos she wants to follow her yiyi to church on sunday. as for marcus, he can't be bothered to go to church, so he doesn't want to go. sometimes it feels weird when mabel is not around. she is so handy and helps out with every single little thing when she is around. without her around, it seems so funny

max can suck from the straw. i thought that was impressive for his age. and he is getting more and more greedy. he also has a bad temper, very bad. when he does something wrong, he would look at me first, then he would cry first so that people will not scold him. so cheeky

our experiences, whether good or bad, will cause us to think in a certain way. experiences will also reinforce this thinking. and eventually, this thinking will shape our belief system.

so i dun blame anybody for having bad experiences, and thus your belief is there.

these 2 months, all these experiences has also shaped my belief.

these 2 months has knocked some senses into me. i finally open my eyes and see and realise. All this while, my dear has been standing beside me, behind me and has done so much for this family. sometimes i feel bad that i have not done my part as a wife. although beaten and wearied, he has not given up and has put in a lot of effort to hold the family together. i should have done more for him. i will, from today onwards, be a better wife and be there for him as well. we have come a long way, from my family's objection of us being together, the 6 months apart from each other, the letters that we wrote to each other every single day and posting them out through snail mail, the small little pocket tv that we watched together for 3 months juz after our marriage, until my dad buys us a tv. These are the hardships that we have gone through together.

you have done so much for the family, and yet i was so blind. i'm truly truly sorry.

we will have more hardships to go through together in future, with the new house, with the kids growing up, new challenges to face. can i hold your hand one more time and walk down the aisle again and say 'i do' again?

i love you, my dear! and of course, together, we will love our children, all 3 of them and together, a happy family. (Father And Mother I Love You)

god, did u juz cry? when i cried, someone told me to save the crocodile tears. so can i say the same thing to u?

the rain has stopped, wat does it signify?

you are kind to others, but who is kind to you? does it pay to be kind? why must we be so mean in order to survive? it's not only the fittest that survive, it's the fittest and the meanest that will survive.