will go into Osho's reading to make peace with my inner being. i need to find a balance. it's always cheem to read his articles. very profound, very true. juz read about 'rainbow'

if you know the key of awareness. Then you can turn everything into gold. When somebody insults, that is the moment to keep alert. When your wife looks at somebody else and you feel hurt, that is the moment to keep alert. When you are feeling sad, gloomy, depressed, when you feel the whole world is against you, that is the moment to be alert. When you are surrounded by a dark night, that is the moment to keep your light burning. And all these situations will prove helpful -- they are meant for it.

If you know how to use anger, you will see anger gives you a sharpness of being -- just as if somebody has sharpened a sword. Anger rightly used gives you a sharpness, a radiance, a tremendous vitality

how apt this article is with my present piss mood. but how? how do i keep aware when someone has insulted me? i will have to find a way, i suppose