new haircut i got.

nose is worse by the chemicals used. someone pls, cut off my nose.

amazing... that's all i can say

having a bad flu since xmas eve. started wif a stuck nose, yesterday turned into running nose. very bad running nose. when i was sleeping last nite, the mucus (is that how u spell it) can flow out. need to put the toilet roll beside the bed.

happy holidays!

it's true, i can never love again. this i will bear for the rest of my life and not forgetting ur sorrow, pain, hurt and sadness.

20th, 11, wat irony.

saved from devil's crossroad, i appreciate
luv, we experienced
memories, i will keep

pack of lies, i should not have
empty promises, i should not have

i really appreciate, i do.
nothing said or done will make up the hurt, that's for sure.
sorry is not enuf, i know.

hell, i should go, not u.

i had a dream, think i dreamt about King Kong, got jostled out of sleep, looked at the time, 4am.

toss and turn, tried to get back to sleep, couldn't, looked at time again, 505am. ok, at least i can get up now, the spirits are making their way back to the gates of hell...

so now here i am, wif my pc, wif my blog and my mind.

well, i have to say this abt marcus, he's damn good at pc games. cannot stand him.

today is the day. 12/12/2005. i RIP. the blog shall observe 3 days of silence.

not everything written in the blog is meant to be understood, duh!

mai-yah-he, mai-yah-ho, mai-yah-ha, mai-yah-haha

nothing to say, i juz zip my mouth, the best, views/expectations are different, no point pushing my point of view.

cut, cut, cut!

ipod is good, it lets u listen to songs.

listening to songs are good, cos when it hit the chord in ur heart, it helps u to cry.

crying is good, it lets u release the tension.

blog is good? i dunno. but reading his blog lets the tears flow. it flowed, uncontrollably, good. at least now i know wat can really make me cry. good, perhaps i deserve it.

dreams.... dreamt again last nite, dreamt abt yogurt spilling out, dreamt that in 2 more days it's CNY and the whole house is dusty and messy. anybody knows how to interpret dreams?

dreams

think i'm a workaholic, i actually dreamt abt work last nite and dreamt abt the students in my form class too. (wah!) juz dreamt that there are in class and i'm suppose to administer some mock exams! haha! think i miss working too much. crazy, can rest, dun rest.....

so much for dreams. career wise, think things are smooth sailing. dun ask for recognition or promotion, juz do my part and duty and be there for the students.

as for personal life, think not as smooth sailing and a failure. probably it's the end of the year where people have to reflect on their past and grade their own personal life. definitely need time to sort out my thinking and mess. the outcome will be unpleasant, defintely.

from now on

i've never meant to hurt u. maybe u r right, it's harder and harder to understand me. our paths seem to have detoured to different paths.

almost forgot my blogger id and password, that is how long i have not updated my blog.

new things may not mean good, with new things means new adjustments.

holidays may not be a good thing also, everybody thought u r so free and basically i have no schedule to follow, so i'm very aimless. been playing xbox games lately, now i know where marcus got his genes, me! i can play on the console, non-stop for at least 3 hours.

ever have that feeling of wanting to cry but there are no tears? it's the same as when u eat very full and want to burp, but juz couldn't burp, the feeling is awful. yeah, the feeling is awful, thought that at least thru crying, can feel better, but no tears. can't cry hard enough.

also suddenly had this thought while i was sad. mayb finding anybody, get married, leading a watever life is not that bad after all. ping ping dan dan.

well, on a happy note, i'm happy becos i dun have to wake up so early and it's a really good break.