Wednesday, September 30, 2009

it is very frustrating when you have to work, and then your child keeps coming to you and says, 'mummy, mummy, can you play with me?'

so darn many work and deadline to complete. after this, still got lots of things to do, which i will not elaborate here. it's really very fed up and frustrating.

like keep working, no life like that. no quality of life. sianzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. sometimes, you just feel like throwing in the towel and say i quit.

we work to live, not live to work.
warao, so busy, so busy. so busy until no time to shit. sigh.

i hate this feeling of so busy.

Monday, September 28, 2009

today is a busy day and tiring day. just holding on and holding on till the second i fall asleep.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

good deed: yesterday at giant, we took the lift up. just as about to close the door, 2 aunties were running towards the lift. open and hold the door for them. told them not to run, otherwise they fall down.

yesterday was a lazy afternoon. weather is hot. in the evening, went jogging with mabel and max. i think max has better stamina than his brother. he can really jog. i kept asking him if he is tired. we took a few stops of rest at the bus stops. by the time we finish jogging, max was perpiring. i think it's good exercise for him.

ok, i should go and get ready for lunch.

Friday, September 25, 2009

went for a jog this evening. mabel and marcus joined me in jogging. marcus' stamina is very lousy leh... in the end, i find myself having to wait for him most of the time. i will bring him to jog more. how can his fitness level be so lousy?
sigh, back to reality. need to focus.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

good deed, good deed. not been doing good deed. does being more polite to the elderly considered a good deed? especially if one is still old, still have to sell lor mee.
today on the road, when i exit cte, braddell, saw mum's car. she was beside the car which was in front of mine. actually wanted to give her a horn. but the lanes merging and i found myself almost stuck in between two cars. so in the end, i didn't give her a horn. so i called her instead.

i should stop thinking about work tomorrow. die, think it's another sleepless night. sigh, i dunno why i'm having a heavy heart now.
the dark clouds came very sudden today. i hurried to work as i did not want to be caught in the rain. as i walked, the strong wind blew the trees so hard that the leaves rustled. the sound was like music to my ears! hearing the rustling leaves gives me a strange sense of peace.

last nite, i wanted to update my ipod touch software. so i plugged in ipod touch to itunes. ok, update software. 55mins! nvm. dialouge box popped up, want to download new version of itunes? so i clicked ok. after itunes downloaded, i need the new version of quicktime. ok, download quick time. at this time, i realise the old version of itune was closed. after download quick time, i dun know what happen, still cannot open the new version of itune. fed up, uninstall quick time, uninstall itune.

start all over again, download quick time, install quick time, download itune, install itune. vola. plug in ipod touch, start to download ipod touch software all over again. 55 mins! by then it's already 11pm. so while waiting for it, fell asleep. after that, still got to retrieve software, back up ipod, install the new software, sync ipod, then update application. in between all these, i fell asleep, woke up to execute the next command. by the time all is completed, it's 2am. it should have been completed earlier than this, i think. i wouldn't know, i fell asleep.

decided to update the software, not only becos on saturday, kelvin mentioned about it. there were some games which i played, i realised that it often switched back to the home menu on its own. that is when i realise that some of the applications may not be suited to the old version, so decided to update.

i'm now contemplating, nokia N97 or iphone.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

got gastric flu. mild one. sigh, the itunes.... so troublesome. i just want to update the software. wt....

max is very cute. every nite he would go like 'tmr mummy papa got go work?' then he'll pout his mouth when i say we have to work. but these 2 days, marcus and mabel are going to school on different days as they have their oral exams in school. Max only lighten up when he knows that jie jie and gor gor is at home. but come friday, he will be alone.

i really hope that marcus will try his best for his chinese oral exam tomorrow.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

yesterday, brought the children to explorer kids as promised. at explorer kids, mabel and marcus tried the adventure highland. this is the second time they tried. i dunno why mabel cried this time. she didn't manage to finish the obstacle.

later marcus and max went into the shooting ball one. max poop poop in his pants. had to clean up for him. had to throw away the underwear. too soiled to wash. i also dunno how to wash for him.

later went for lunch, then kbox. mabel sang the most songs among them. finally went home at around 5pm. fun filled day.

at night, max said that he wanted to drink coca cola. so hubby went to pour a small cup for him. that was when he realised that mil has been secretly drinking the coca cola. so he poured the children each a cup of coca cola, that finishes off the bottled cola. we finished up the last can of coke with JD.

today it's back to work, back to reality.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

good deed? hmmm, didn't do any good deed today. even though i was very tempted to just talk to the ang moh couple sitting beside us at brewerkz. just feel like talking to them to ask them if they were tourists. but i didn't have the guts. sigh.

today at amk, should have held on to the button and let the lady with the bicycle go into the lift.

2 misses today.

but one thing i find about wanting to do a good deed, it makes you more aware of your surrounding. it makes you aware of the people around you. it makes you more observant.
saturday morning, brought the kids to library to borrow books. Well, since we confiscated marcus' psp, we must give him alternative things to do. so he borrowed 4 books for reading.

then in the evening time, sis in law and family came over for dinner as usual.

sunday. Selamat Hari Raya! after breakfast, did a bit of studying. then went over to brewerkz, played uno too. hmm, realise mabel is a sore loser, she cannot lose one leh. i tekan her, won her 3 times. by the third time, she is so dejected. let her go and sulk. after a while, then went to hug her and speak to her.

evening time, went over to mum's house for dinner.

tomorrow is holiday. plan to bring the kids out. probably we'll go explorer kids in the morning, after lunch, maybe bring them to kbox to sing a few songs.

Friday, September 18, 2009

today i'm so exhausted.

marcus' teacher called me today and gave me some feedback on him. so in the evening, talked to marcus and decided to confiscate his psp, the camera. we have already warned him that if his teacher were to call one more time, then we will keep all these things.

so of course, it was painful for him, he cried. well,he got to understand and most important, hubby talked to mil so that she understands too.

so marcus went dinner with us. after dinner, did some maths assessment. went through his homework with him.

i guess i have to do some sacrifice too. less facebook for me and more time to supervise his work.

mabel also did some some exercise before i release her for her 9pm show. tv addict leh, mabel.

as for max, these few days, he is quite close to his jie jie. last night, he shared the bed with jie jie. but he coudln't wake his jie jie up when he wanted to sh sh so he peed on the bed! and this mabel didn't even know her brother peed on the bed.

so anyway, i talked to max and he had promised me that tonight he would come over to our bedroom. but now it's 10.42pm, he's still in the other room playing. will go and 'fetch' him after this blog.

today i did 1 good deed. an auntie dropped a $5 when she took out her hand from her pocket. i tapped her and told her that she dropped $5. she said thank you to me. feels kind of great. i wish that she would spread this kindness to one more person.

today, didn't manage to jog. after scolding marcus and having dinner, it's already 7 plus when we reach home.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

congratulations to me. finally, much awaited da yi ma is here. kao, now my cycle is like 28+14 days.

sign myself up for the 2.4km run, so just now, went to jog round the estate, almost died. but it was good to sweat it all out. sweat out the stress, sweat out the frustation. not sure if i can run the 2.4 on 3rd oct or not.

this morning, almost kena ERP. 5 mins before the gantry, there was a traffic jam. wa piang, stress. luckily started moving. at 3 mins before 7.30pm, drove past the gantry. tmr, i better dun leave at 7am. better leave slightly early.

talking about driving on the road. yesterday morning, i was on this two lane road. there was a panel van coming out from the carpark. the van turned out to the main road though i was approaching already. well, never mind, i was on the outer lane, when she turned, she turn to the inner lane. so there was this bus stop and there was a bus there. so technically, this bus took one lane. the panel van wanted to cut into my lane when i was beside it. you can imagine i hold on to my horn and i really 'lun'. 'lun' she bang me. wtf. nbcb. early in the morning, daydream and let me horn you. u turn out to the main road, i 'sua' already. u some more want to cut into my lane. bimbo! maybe a gentleman will give way to you and let you cut in. but i not gentleman, i bitchy, so sorry. u kena horn. please dun take for granted that u suka suka cut into people's lane. buy 4D also need to one by one, queue up. u choose to turn out from the carpark, so u kena stuck behind the bus, that is your choice.

today i didn't do any good deed. i guess the only good deed i did today is to keep my cool and not to curse and swear at other drivers.

but i think i keep my cool too much, come back, dunno why, suddenly release at children. it all started with marcus. he went to pang sai, then he called the maid. well, the maid is in the toilet, helping my mil to bathe. so i scolded him, so big already dunno how to clean backside with toilet paper. still need to call the maid. then followed by max. he wanted to change the xbox games, but he didn't know how to, so he anyhow press. so i scolded him for changing the disc. then he cried. then asked the kids if they want to go dinner, nobody answered me. (actually i know lah, i so fierce, who want to answer me?) so i fed up, switch off the tv, asked them want to follow to dinner. they said no, so i asked what they want to eat for dinner.

now i just want to cool down, vege out, harvest, plant and then do some marking. sigh, life!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

the show which mark lee and another person go to another country to look at the culture, social behaviour etc just ended.

just feel that Singapore lags behind in many ways. The people are friendly. They take the initiative to give directions to foreigners who seem lost.

They return their own trays, not only that, they categorize into trays, plates and cutleries. We do not even return our own tray.

many times, Singaporeans just watch, without offering any help. Those who offer help, like open the doors for you, give way to the ladies are often the caucasians.

i promise to do one good deed, to help someone in need every day.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

i moved off at 7.45 am this morning. there were so many cars on the road, all going to work! before i could reach kpe, the road is already full of cars. but once clear the traffic light, went down to kpe.

first time i see kpe filled with cars, neck to neck. ok, everybody drive at 70km/h, then exit kpe. 'beep' gantry point. then the dreaded benjamin sheares bridge. always dun understand why they put the camera before the uphill.

then as i saw singapore flyer, i start to digitize the location in my mind. raffles boulevard, marina, oriental, suntec convention centre. southpoint, cantonment road, cecil street, octagon.

finally reached my destination. i swear to move off before ERP.
When i saw the headlines that Patrick Swayze died, i feel kind of sad. sad becos i've watched his two movies over and over again as a teenager. i remembered i recorded 'dirty dancing' when it was broadcast on channel 5 becos i had a camp. after the camp, i watched the show. needless to say, i watched it over and over again.

as for 'ghost' i didn't think i watched it over and over again, but i think i remembered watching it a few times. it was a beautiful romantic show. so sad, he died. he's only 57.

Monday, September 14, 2009

had a horrible dream last nite. i dreamt that i went to the gynae for my regular check up. the scan is so advanced now that it's like a colour tv, so you can see the baby inside the stomach.

so scary.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

today i went to amk with a heavy heart. i'm one person who do not like to settle disputes, especially if it's between 2 adults. but this time, there is no avoiding.

when i heard of the news this morning, many questions streamed into my mind:
why did this thing happen?
it takes two hands to clap. if only mum has been kinder, maybe this thing could not have happen. T might have taken the things out of spite.
wonder if T took things from my house before? checked, no. sis checked hers too, no. GY checked hers too, no. so why only mum?

i thought this oould be a good excuse to let T go home. then i dun have to worry too much too. i thought i could strongly suggest to mum that T should go home, then perhaps if not necessary, then a part time one to do some general cleaning. i so made up my mind to do this.

but when negotiation, interrogation started, situation changed. even if there is no police report and T goes back, she would return with nothing. she had advanced 2 months pay. and her family would have nothing.

so details of interrogation was like this:
when? it was taken before T went back to see her family. the only reason she stopped short of bringing it back is because mum gave her a sling bag for her to bring back to her daughter. She knew it was not good, so she didn't.

how? it was sewn inside a pillow.

why? she liked the design, she thought that mum didn't want.

something which she realised it was wrong. i really see no reason. i taught her to teach her children that it was not easy for her to work. they cannot spend money like nobody's business and keep asking her to send money back.

still i couldn't understand. T has her merit too, she would be one who would give you back the money/coins left in the pocket. so why this? this phrase comes to my mind, a moment of folly.

when such things happen, the trust is gone. i've told her blankly, the trust is gone. she would have to accept it and it would take time for people to change. she may have to prove herself extra hard now.

then mum's grievances all came out. mum never tell me. T would be rude to her. i used to think that probably it's because mum used to scold her, so this is the defensive stance she took. if T has used more effort and put her heart to learn, maybe such scoldings will be lesser. or could be mum is impatient too. expect her to learn things fast. but come to think of it, 10 months already. when we work, we only get like 3 months or 6 months probation. 10 months... hmmm

then again, i was also thinking. from the first time she went back home, that would be like march. that means, this thing has been 6 months already. all these 6 months, she has so call plotted, sewed the thing inside the pillow. if mum didn't happen to help her carry her mattress, maybe we could not have found out at all.

in retrospect, since june, T had told S and GY about how mum had scolded her, how mum had thrown the food on the floor and asked her to sweep it up. in retrospect, had she tried to get people on her side by putting mum in a bad light?

and the funny thing was, the night before, mum was saying something to T and she just mentioned something about stealing money, T retaliated. i always thought that she retaliated because she was not happy that people accuse her of doing something she didn't. but on the night before, she knew, she knew she was guilty. so her act of retaliation was in fact to cover up her guilt.

then in retrospect, could she have been rude to mum these few months because of this incident too? there's a chinese saying, 恶人先告状, movies and drama serials had done it before. people who are guilty of doing something wrong, usually are loud and say many things to cover up.

T thought that she had 'won' by gaining many people's sympathy. but she had lost.
and the funny thing was, mum has good sixth sense. her sixth sense is damn good. i remembered when i first had my menses, i didn't tell my mum, she knew. when i was older, when i had a boyfriend, we were almost into that at his house, mum called his house at that crucial moment.

this time, the night before, mum suddenly talked about stealing money. then why on earth did she suddenly helped T to move the mattress? for so many months, she never helped T move the mattress.

mum said something. T said that mum does not have a good heart, always scold people. so now who is the one without a good heart? as i said, T had lost, now mum has the upper hand, i know it's going to be more difficult for T.

my mind is still thinking, i hope i can get to sleep. I usually can't sleep on sunday night. again, it could be stress. tonight, there are more issues for me to think, alamak, i can foresee myself not sleeping until 3am.
weekend seems to be busy. no time to blog. yesterday morning went lta, then afternoon, went to potong pasir, then went to get the satay for the bbq, then giant. reached home, rest a while, it's dinner time and then off to bbq.

sunday morning, went out. then afternoon to brewerkz. then in the evening, went to amk.

tomorrow is monday. back to work.

a few cute things about my children:

1) Marcus: still couldn't get over the fact that he cried during chinese tuition. he's such a straightforward child, no hiding of emotions. naive.

can be stubborn at times. just now asked him to pack his bag, he needs to choose a story book for silent reading. was wondering why he took so long, he ended up reading the book. so i told him, 'marcus, choose the story book, tomorrow then read.' after 30s, i went to check, still reading. so i said a 2nd time. after about another minute, i went to check, still reading the book. so this time, i raised my voice a little louder. why must he always wait until i raised my voice, then he move???

2) Mabel: she has been spreading out her holiday homework to do during the week. so didn't have to worry for her. just need to remind her if she has finish her homework, how many left. helped her with chinese composition on friday.
what is it with students that they dun like to write compo?

3) Max: after we came back today, he asked, 'mummy, where are we going? i gel up my hair already.' he is so funny. he's getting better and better at talking.

an example, after realising that i'm going to work the next day, 'uh?? i like you leh, u cannot go to work.'

on friday nite, 'mummy papa no go work tomorrow. we go for breakfast, ok'

4) myself, p is late again. 2 weeks. this is the 2nd time consecutively. i seldom miss my p as it's usually a very regular cycle. i account for last month's lateness to stress. but this month, could it be stress again?
or becos i'm getting fatter and fatter, so the cycle change?
or menopause comes early?????

5) as for my dear, still the same old one. except that aged a bit.

Friday, September 11, 2009

hmmm, so fast, friday already.

marcus cried during chinese tuition today. had to slow talk to him, finally manage to make him go through the whole tuition. brought the children to eat spaghetti for dinner.

broke my heart to see him struggle with chinese, but he had to go through.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

just now climb up 10 storey to the house. panting.

tiring day. last night, couldn't sleep until 3am. actually was watching hbo. one is 'pay it forward', a very nice and touching show. another one is quite funny.

so not enough sleep. feels tired.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

hmmm, today passes by quite fast. had training the whole day.

back at home, same old stuff.

Monday, September 07, 2009

stop thinking that just because it's the september holidays, we are having holidays and having a fun time.

We still have holiday classes to conduct. we still have worksheets to mark. some teachers are using this time to set the year end exam paper.

however, i'm glad that most students turn up for the holiday classes. they are really getting into it and hopefully, they can feel the stress of the coming exams.

marcus and mabel has some holiday homework to do. still have to see that they do some holiday homework.

Friday, September 04, 2009

yes, i'm in a foul mood. i'm having the facebook withdrawal symptom.
this year 7th month 15th day, i've decided not to burn anything for himer. I lost himer on 28th june 2005. it's been 4 years.

To Himer:
Though i'll never know whether you are a boy or girl, i had felt guilty for taking you away.

By not burning anything for you means that it's time i learn to let go. i strongly believe that you have reincarnated. i really should have let go.

You'll always have a special little place in mummy's heart.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

so fast, it has been 2 weeks since the first day of hungry ghost festival. soon, it's time to eat mooncakes.

time passes by very fast. what are my plans for today with the children? don't know. probably just vege out to watch tv programmes and have a good laugh.
Today has been a tiring day. but i'm glad that most of the things are over.

when you are mentally prepared for the long day ahead, somehow, it doesn't get draggy. You become very focus to get the things done. you feel a sense of satisfaction, a sense of fulfilment when the day is over.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

How to Play 15 Fun Water Games | eHow.com

How to Play 15 Fun Water Games | eHow.com

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today, revise with marcus his science as he is going to have his science SA 2 tomorrow. so now all i have in my mind is respiratory system, circulatory system, digestive system, plant system and skeletal system. muscles contract and pull the bones to allow movement. joints allow us to bend. not to mention, anus, gullet. exchange of gases in the lung. spine protects our spinal cord, skull protects our brains. ribcage protects our lungs. functions of leaves, roots, stems, stomata, chlorophyll, tubers, woody stem.

ha, i realise marcus is good at remembering things. he just has to apply what he learns to answer the questions. and if the question ask you to refer to the diagram, you must refer to the diagram. you must be able to compare and contrast.

actually, these are the skills i've been teaching and teaching my students. refer to the diagram, answer the questions. question ask you to describe the relationship, then you describe the relationship. question ask for factors that affect food production, then don't give me effects of food variation (obesity and malnutrition)

so answer the question, refer to the diagram. same, it's the same. i hope marcus can score 90 out of 100 for his science. well, that is the target i set him.