Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Tuesday, December 04, 2012
Day 4 without domestic helper
As I was doing the housework these few days, I hardly have time to rest not read the newspaper. And I'm not sweeping, mopping not wiping the furniture. Just laundry, ironing, cooking, washing alone, I can't sit down and rest.
I wonder how come my domestic helper had free time during the evening before cooking dinner and she could sit down to watch the 9 pm ch 8 show. I don't! Maybe I'm just not efficient.
I wonder how come my domestic helper had free time during the evening before cooking dinner and she could sit down to watch the 9 pm ch 8 show. I don't! Maybe I'm just not efficient.
Day 3
Am getting the hang of doing things and schedule. Just that, legs are very tired from standing.
Should not complain already, sick of hearing myself complain. Makes me so auntie.
Should not complain already, sick of hearing myself complain. Makes me so auntie.
Sunday, December 02, 2012
Day 2 part 3
Saw the 'bubbles' by the side? Iron haven't cool down yet, keep inside cupboard. That is what happen. Argh!!!!
I will list down one by one. I'm going to nag, (what's done cannot be undone) at all these things one by one. And I'm blogging it down to remind myself.
I will list down one by one. I'm going to nag, (what's done cannot be undone) at all these things one by one. And I'm blogging it down to remind myself.
Day 2 part 2
5) iron. See pic below. This is the tefal, ultra glide iron!!!! the surface is brunt!!!! how to iron? i have to cool down.
6) Ironing board. See pic below again. How they use one?
6) Ironing board. See pic below again. How they use one?
Day 2 without domestic helper part 1
The post was not saved. Argh.
1) last night, max woke up every hour. Vomited, complain stomach ache. Didn't have enough sleep.
2) while hanging the laundry, realised some clothes pegs spoilt. But still left inside the container.
3) there were two batteries left inside the container. Omg! So dirty. Batteries corrode and this will stains the clothes pegs and the pegs will be used for the freshly washed clothes.
4) vacuum cleaners came with different heads for you to change to vacuum different things. And guess where I found the three other heads? Inside the clothes pegs container. Omg second time. So dirty, second time. Why so dirty? See complain number 3.
1) last night, max woke up every hour. Vomited, complain stomach ache. Didn't have enough sleep.
2) while hanging the laundry, realised some clothes pegs spoilt. But still left inside the container.
3) there were two batteries left inside the container. Omg! So dirty. Batteries corrode and this will stains the clothes pegs and the pegs will be used for the freshly washed clothes.
4) vacuum cleaners came with different heads for you to change to vacuum different things. And guess where I found the three other heads? Inside the clothes pegs container. Omg second time. So dirty, second time. Why so dirty? See complain number 3.
Saturday, December 01, 2012
Day one without domestic helper
Mabel and Max are sick today. Suspected stomach flu.
One word, dead tired. I think partly also because did some spring cleaning of cupboards today, hence took almost the whole day to do house chores. After that, cooked dinner. When I thought I have finished, then u realised there is the clothes to soak and dishes to wash, dustbin to clear, plates to keep, milk to make. Never ending.
So one word of caution, cannot rely on domestic helper so much. And also I will appreciate more when she comes back from her leave.
One word, dead tired. I think partly also because did some spring cleaning of cupboards today, hence took almost the whole day to do house chores. After that, cooked dinner. When I thought I have finished, then u realised there is the clothes to soak and dishes to wash, dustbin to clear, plates to keep, milk to make. Never ending.
So one word of caution, cannot rely on domestic helper so much. And also I will appreciate more when she comes back from her leave.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Weekend
Sigh. The weekend is here. People look forward to weekend whereas I'm not particularly fond of weekend. I didn't say I don't like, just not particularly fond of it. There is a difference.
It's not like I would particularly enjoy the weekend and relax and recharge for the next work week.
It's not like I would particularly enjoy the weekend and relax and recharge for the next work week.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Not a good daughter in law
Today is the fifteen of Chinese calendar. Looking at my mother in law's tablet, suddenly feel that I have not been fulfilling my duty to her. By right, I think i should be the one buying of fruits etc. but I think so far, I have not.
Suddenly feel ashamed. Can't continue the post.
Sorry
Suddenly feel ashamed. Can't continue the post.
Sorry
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Wrong turn
At a traffic light, a woman in the car next to me waved to me. I wind down my window, she asked me for directions to tampines ikea. I was like omg, u r so in the wrong direction. She replied she took a wrong turn.
I quickly asked her to find a u turn and turned back. She said thank you an we drove off before the cars behind us horned at us.
It just sets me wondering, in life, many times, we took a wrong turn. And to make it right, we take another turn and we ended up more far off from our destination. But no matter what, I believe the woman would finally reach tampines ikea. She may take another 1 hour or so. But if she doesn't give up, I believe she will reach eventually.
I quickly asked her to find a u turn and turned back. She said thank you an we drove off before the cars behind us horned at us.
It just sets me wondering, in life, many times, we took a wrong turn. And to make it right, we take another turn and we ended up more far off from our destination. But no matter what, I believe the woman would finally reach tampines ikea. She may take another 1 hour or so. But if she doesn't give up, I believe she will reach eventually.
Bhutan
I would love to visit Bhutan. It looks like a nice, laid back place which has defied globalization and the only country in the world that measures happiness.
But it is very expensive.
In the mean time, I will dream about this place.
But it is very expensive.
In the mean time, I will dream about this place.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Emotionless Singaporeans
I totally agree with the findings. Singaporeans are probably the most emotionless society. No need to dispute over the findings. Admit it. In one way or another, we have been well trained to obey. We have been trained to keep our emotions, keep our real feelings, subdue them. Do you no benefit to express what you genuinely feel.
Even as I am writing this blog, I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Repercussions do happen. Irony, yes, I'm afraid so.
Even as I am writing this blog, I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Repercussions do happen. Irony, yes, I'm afraid so.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
what gravity-defying COE prices have taught me
Ha, I like this headline. "Gravity-defying COE prices"
Let me see, which is the lightest gas? Hydrogen? Then COE prices is just like hydrogen, keeps going up.
And I thought Singapore's economy is sluggish? Hmmm I wonder why then is COE prices going up? Report says car dealers are rushing to meet sales target. There are still many people buying new cars? I've done some simple calculation on my own, you spend about a quarter of your salary for your car installment, ie if you earned at least $4k a month. That is not good financial budgeting.
So while COE prices continues to defy gravity and consumers start to defy logic, I shall start to learn to defy norms and materialism and be contented and most important grateful for the things I owned and my loved ones around me.
Let me see, which is the lightest gas? Hydrogen? Then COE prices is just like hydrogen, keeps going up.
And I thought Singapore's economy is sluggish? Hmmm I wonder why then is COE prices going up? Report says car dealers are rushing to meet sales target. There are still many people buying new cars? I've done some simple calculation on my own, you spend about a quarter of your salary for your car installment, ie if you earned at least $4k a month. That is not good financial budgeting.
So while COE prices continues to defy gravity and consumers start to defy logic, I shall start to learn to defy norms and materialism and be contented and most important grateful for the things I owned and my loved ones around me.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Social distance
Today, I learn a new phrase. Social distance and social mobility.
In a recent survey of students studying in top schools, 6 out of their 10 friends are in the same social circle as them, ie, live in landed property, family income way above median.
They probably had a head start in school, getting into top primary schools, staying in landed near top schools, investing in tuition and enrichment, or maybe alumni. I know of people staying in pasir ris, going all the way to amk to study.
So am I to blame if I did not invest enough resources to ensure that my children have a head start? Am I not a good parent? Is social status that important? I have many many questions I'm asking myself. Have I let my children down?
Once, I've benefitted through earning from giving tuition. I was happiest when I gave tuition at RC. The children there really needed it. I remembered one p5 boy who was failing his English. But after enrolling at the tuition classes at RC, he passé at EOY exam. He even got a good progress award. I remembered his father saying thank you to me. It was more than 10 years ago, but I could still remember.
I was also employed part time at an enrichment centre opposite parkway parade to conduct creative writing classes. Although all materials were provided for, I just need to deliver the lessons, but I wasn't happy teaching there. Because to most of the students, it was something extra for them, to improve their writing. I could sense the reluctance. Although it was a 1 hour 15 mins lesson , it felt very long for me every time I conduct a lesson.
In summary, my children will probably have difficulty in social mobility and will feel the social distance. Maybe they would blame me next time for not giving them the head start.
In a recent survey of students studying in top schools, 6 out of their 10 friends are in the same social circle as them, ie, live in landed property, family income way above median.
They probably had a head start in school, getting into top primary schools, staying in landed near top schools, investing in tuition and enrichment, or maybe alumni. I know of people staying in pasir ris, going all the way to amk to study.
So am I to blame if I did not invest enough resources to ensure that my children have a head start? Am I not a good parent? Is social status that important? I have many many questions I'm asking myself. Have I let my children down?
Once, I've benefitted through earning from giving tuition. I was happiest when I gave tuition at RC. The children there really needed it. I remembered one p5 boy who was failing his English. But after enrolling at the tuition classes at RC, he passé at EOY exam. He even got a good progress award. I remembered his father saying thank you to me. It was more than 10 years ago, but I could still remember.
I was also employed part time at an enrichment centre opposite parkway parade to conduct creative writing classes. Although all materials were provided for, I just need to deliver the lessons, but I wasn't happy teaching there. Because to most of the students, it was something extra for them, to improve their writing. I could sense the reluctance. Although it was a 1 hour 15 mins lesson , it felt very long for me every time I conduct a lesson.
In summary, my children will probably have difficulty in social mobility and will feel the social distance. Maybe they would blame me next time for not giving them the head start.
The delicate balance of immigrants
Much talk has been about foreign talent, immigrants, foreign labour. There are two schools of thoughts:
1) in a highly globalized world where movement is very fluid, it is normal for people to move around. In a highly globalized world where competition is tough, companies pay to attract the best. With better pay package, people move.
In a tight labour market, foreign labour is needed to ease the labour crunch. It has always been Singapore's rationale, if we do not embrace foreign talents/immigrants/labour, our economy will not be able to get to where it is today.
Singapore is not alone. Critics in Britain are saying that tightening foreigner influx will be a big barrier to growth. Even Germany is attracting foreign professionals with its own programme.
2) however, the other school of thought is: locals are saying no to foreign talent because they push up cost of living.
Dynamics change when new things are introduced. In science experiments, when new element is added, there would be some chemical reaction and perhaps a new compound is formed.
So I do not have the solution to find that delicate balance between attracting and restricting foreign talents. I'm just an ordinary citizen who needs to find my own balance in this globalization wave.
1) in a highly globalized world where movement is very fluid, it is normal for people to move around. In a highly globalized world where competition is tough, companies pay to attract the best. With better pay package, people move.
In a tight labour market, foreign labour is needed to ease the labour crunch. It has always been Singapore's rationale, if we do not embrace foreign talents/immigrants/labour, our economy will not be able to get to where it is today.
Singapore is not alone. Critics in Britain are saying that tightening foreigner influx will be a big barrier to growth. Even Germany is attracting foreign professionals with its own programme.
2) however, the other school of thought is: locals are saying no to foreign talent because they push up cost of living.
Dynamics change when new things are introduced. In science experiments, when new element is added, there would be some chemical reaction and perhaps a new compound is formed.
So I do not have the solution to find that delicate balance between attracting and restricting foreign talents. I'm just an ordinary citizen who needs to find my own balance in this globalization wave.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Steam oranges for cough
Used to remember old people said no oranges when you are coughing as it created phlegm.
But apparently, if u steam the orange, it actually can stop cough. So after a few days of irritating cough, I decided to google the recipe. Got to give it a try. Will update if it works.
But apparently, if u steam the orange, it actually can stop cough. So after a few days of irritating cough, I decided to google the recipe. Got to give it a try. Will update if it works.
Wednesday, November 07, 2012
I dunno how to title this
Marcus showed me black face this morning. I reminded him many times to apply gel on his wound since Saturday. Until yesterday evening, he was still being reminded to apply. This morning, I learnt that he didn't apply. I was quite fed up and told him that if his wound gets an infection, he may have to chop off his leg. And because of this, he was angry with me. He didn't say goodbye when he got off the car.
I was like, is there something wrong with me? First, I would not hold it against Marcus, very tired of holding qi inside me. Yes, I was angry with Marcus at first for getting angry with me, but I will not hold him to it. Maybe he really had a bad morning.
Next, I reflect. Is there something wrong with me? I learn not to say things unnecessarily, as I often got into trouble with that. But I also learn that not saying certain things also will get myself into trouble. And was being held to it, whether I say or I didn't say.
It is tiring to watch wat to say/do and wat not to say/do. Even more tiring if u r being held to it. I am not a perfect person. Please allow some room for mistakes.
I was like, is there something wrong with me? First, I would not hold it against Marcus, very tired of holding qi inside me. Yes, I was angry with Marcus at first for getting angry with me, but I will not hold him to it. Maybe he really had a bad morning.
Next, I reflect. Is there something wrong with me? I learn not to say things unnecessarily, as I often got into trouble with that. But I also learn that not saying certain things also will get myself into trouble. And was being held to it, whether I say or I didn't say.
It is tiring to watch wat to say/do and wat not to say/do. Even more tiring if u r being held to it. I am not a perfect person. Please allow some room for mistakes.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
The Sun
It's been a while since we see the sun shining so brightly. Again, is it a reflection of my mood or my mood is a reflection of the sun?
For those who complain it has been raining and raining, see, the sun is up and shining so fiercely as if to make up for its absence during the weekend. and it seems to shine even more brightly as before as if mocking us.
Well, you asked for the sun, enjoy.
For those who complain it has been raining and raining, see, the sun is up and shining so fiercely as if to make up for its absence during the weekend. and it seems to shine even more brightly as before as if mocking us.
Well, you asked for the sun, enjoy.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Primary school Maths
9 / 3 (2+1)
What answer did you get? 9 or 1?
Leave your answer and explanation to your working in my comments. I would like to hear.
What answer did you get? 9 or 1?
Leave your answer and explanation to your working in my comments. I would like to hear.
Thankful
Is it another day of overcast weather? Past few days, it has been raining. People are beginning to complain that it's bringing inconveniences, clothes not dry etc.
Actually I'm thankful for this weather. Because I remembered the days before this cool weather, it was so warm that sitting down and doing nothing makes u perspire. Hence, though the rain brings inconvenience, I am actually thankful and grateful for this weather. I would rather a cool weather than a hot and humid one.
Count my blessings and am thankful, grateful and appreciate what I have now.
Actually I'm thankful for this weather. Because I remembered the days before this cool weather, it was so warm that sitting down and doing nothing makes u perspire. Hence, though the rain brings inconvenience, I am actually thankful and grateful for this weather. I would rather a cool weather than a hot and humid one.
Count my blessings and am thankful, grateful and appreciate what I have now.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Gloomy sky
The sky looks gloomy. Hence it reflects my mood too. Is the sky a reflection of my mood or my mood is a reelection of the sky? 
New blog
I've decided to start another blog dedicating to cooking. Not that I'm going to provide expertise on cooking and recipes, just share some of the cooking experiences that i went through. Let me see if i get the blog address correct:
sansancook.blogspot.com
Yup. Ok, switching over to blog the first post.
sansancook.blogspot.com
Yup. Ok, switching over to blog the first post.
draft posts
weird, just saw that i have 27 draft posts. some date back as far as 2007. Deleted all 27 of it.
Pimple
Remember, oxy5 and oxy10? Recently I bought a tube to apply on my pimples. Can you believe it? Having pimples. I used to squeeze it out but this time, I don't know why I didn't. Maybe it's too small to squeeze, maybe the location of the pimple? Maybe in preparation to the children going through adolescence soon?
Friday, October 19, 2012
Pooping
Pooping in the toilet. Arhhhhhh. Recently, been having lots of wind in the tummy and after eating, the tummy will churn. Earlier in the week, it was instant in and a few minutes after I finished my food, it came out. These past 2 days, it's more of feeling the wind in the tummy. And lots of fart. Of course, discreetly lah.
Feels good to clear the system. So let me go back to focus on pushing it out.
Feels good to clear the system. So let me go back to focus on pushing it out.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Leave of absence
Not been blogging. At times, I do have the inspiration to blog, just didn't have the time to blog and when I have the time, the topic eludes me. Or have I learnt to keep things to myself?
As for my illness, I've stopped taking sleeping pills to sleep. I actually dun like the grogginess I have the next day, takes me half the day to focus on what I was doing. But without pills, well, I could still sleep at 1 am, which I think it's quite normal, based on the average.
Any medication for forgetfulness? Seems like it has gotten from bad to worse. I really don't know why I just can't remember certain things.
Maybe life has become monotonous. That's why I just wake up and live life as I am supposed to live, fulfill what I am supposed to do. Aunt sal said, god put me on this earth for a purpose, I just haven't found that purpose yet. At least for 3M, I know my existence have a purpose. Which makes things worse, because I know I can't run away from this purpose.
From the looks of it, I'm still depressed. Just that, I've learnt to accept my fate, my place, my position. And pick myself up. The sun still rise, it still rains, the world still revolves, so why am I wallowing in self pity?
Live life to fullest but life sucks.
As for my illness, I've stopped taking sleeping pills to sleep. I actually dun like the grogginess I have the next day, takes me half the day to focus on what I was doing. But without pills, well, I could still sleep at 1 am, which I think it's quite normal, based on the average.
Any medication for forgetfulness? Seems like it has gotten from bad to worse. I really don't know why I just can't remember certain things.
Maybe life has become monotonous. That's why I just wake up and live life as I am supposed to live, fulfill what I am supposed to do. Aunt sal said, god put me on this earth for a purpose, I just haven't found that purpose yet. At least for 3M, I know my existence have a purpose. Which makes things worse, because I know I can't run away from this purpose.
From the looks of it, I'm still depressed. Just that, I've learnt to accept my fate, my place, my position. And pick myself up. The sun still rise, it still rains, the world still revolves, so why am I wallowing in self pity?
Live life to fullest but life sucks.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Forgiveness
Was SMS ing my dad. I suddenly asked him some personal questions about that time, that time he decided to leave this family. I know SMS is not a good way of communication but then that's not the point.
In one SMS, he actually asked for forgiveness. I quickly replied him that since we grown up, we did not hold it against him. I think not only he is relieved, I am also relieved to have put down something that has been weighing on my heart for so long.
Then I realised, so sad, I never really talk to my father on this.
In one SMS, he actually asked for forgiveness. I quickly replied him that since we grown up, we did not hold it against him. I think not only he is relieved, I am also relieved to have put down something that has been weighing on my heart for so long.
Then I realised, so sad, I never really talk to my father on this.
Thoughts
Looking at my parents,
1) my dad had an operation. But I was not worried because he was in good hands, looking at how auntie took care of him.
2) my mum had a surgery. But I was worried because she's alone. Though she seems independent, able to look after herself. But being woman, I think deep down inside, she would want someone to care for her. Not her children's kind of care. U know, that someone special to care for her.
So now the thing is it's sad to grow old alone. But the thing is, would my dad be happy growing old in this family? Did he make the right choice?
At that time, I'm sure he went through a lot, people may think of him as selfish, heartless. Really admire his courage. I really never had a heart to heart talk with him. God, talking about my dad is making me tear.
Ok, I'm being emo. I shd stop. What happened to him and mum is a thing of the past. I should not be so emo about it.
1) my dad had an operation. But I was not worried because he was in good hands, looking at how auntie took care of him.
2) my mum had a surgery. But I was worried because she's alone. Though she seems independent, able to look after herself. But being woman, I think deep down inside, she would want someone to care for her. Not her children's kind of care. U know, that someone special to care for her.
So now the thing is it's sad to grow old alone. But the thing is, would my dad be happy growing old in this family? Did he make the right choice?
At that time, I'm sure he went through a lot, people may think of him as selfish, heartless. Really admire his courage. I really never had a heart to heart talk with him. God, talking about my dad is making me tear.
Ok, I'm being emo. I shd stop. What happened to him and mum is a thing of the past. I should not be so emo about it.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Chapters of a storybook
Our life is like a storybook. For those who are six feet underground, their story has ended.
Some chapters were easy to write, some chapters, writer's block, very difficult to write. Some chapter are long, some chapters are short. Some chapters, we may want to annex it. Some chapters, we may not want to end it.
So how do I want to write my chapters?
Some chapters were easy to write, some chapters, writer's block, very difficult to write. Some chapter are long, some chapters are short. Some chapters, we may want to annex it. Some chapters, we may not want to end it.
So how do I want to write my chapters?
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
What do I want in life?
Someone post me this question. I guess it's the same as what is your motivation in life? Because if u know what u want, then you have the motivation to work towards it.
So what if what i want in life is not possible? I've lost the motivation. I have nothing now, can't even live in my dream. Or was it really time to wake up from my dream?
Whatever it is, people have told me to move on with life. I know I'm not facing the reality, because I know I don't have the courage to.
So, in the meantime, without any motivation and yet have to carry on with life, Sandra is dead.
RIP, Sandra. 19/9/2012, 1310hr.
So what if what i want in life is not possible? I've lost the motivation. I have nothing now, can't even live in my dream. Or was it really time to wake up from my dream?
Whatever it is, people have told me to move on with life. I know I'm not facing the reality, because I know I don't have the courage to.
So, in the meantime, without any motivation and yet have to carry on with life, Sandra is dead.
RIP, Sandra. 19/9/2012, 1310hr.
Friday, September 14, 2012
Endearment to F&N
I grew up with this familiar icon, F&N. The glass bottled drinks and to as an adult, sometimes nutrisoy.
After a levels, I worked part time at north point, data entry. That was my first realization that the beverage F&N was more than a drink. It has properties as well. Then Tiger, heneiken became my beverage at night.
Marshall cavendish, a publisher whom I am familiar with. We had reception on the roof top of Times publishing house when new textbooks was launches. I even went for an interview at Marshall cavendish. The staff was friendly, he advices me not to park at that particular lot as there would be bird shit later on.
Hence in my life, at some point of time, we have linkages with F&N. So, to read about Thaibev acquiring ABP, I feel sad. Now the battle to acquire ABP has turned to bidding for F&N Because, if he were successful, F&N could be split up and sold off.
I'm not good at maths. I'm no business man. I'm more emotional. Just feel a tinge of sadness if F&N were to be sold off. It's like tearing pieces off from a body and selling the various part to various people who could offer a good price for it.
After a levels, I worked part time at north point, data entry. That was my first realization that the beverage F&N was more than a drink. It has properties as well. Then Tiger, heneiken became my beverage at night.
Marshall cavendish, a publisher whom I am familiar with. We had reception on the roof top of Times publishing house when new textbooks was launches. I even went for an interview at Marshall cavendish. The staff was friendly, he advices me not to park at that particular lot as there would be bird shit later on.
Hence in my life, at some point of time, we have linkages with F&N. So, to read about Thaibev acquiring ABP, I feel sad. Now the battle to acquire ABP has turned to bidding for F&N Because, if he were successful, F&N could be split up and sold off.
I'm not good at maths. I'm no business man. I'm more emotional. Just feel a tinge of sadness if F&N were to be sold off. It's like tearing pieces off from a body and selling the various part to various people who could offer a good price for it.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Every school, a good school
Am pleasantly surprised with the sweeping changes announced at work plan yesterday.
There have been talks about teaching a child differently. But if assessment does not change, then it is not going to change how we teach a child.
Hence, with new hopes and moving in the new direction, I hope it changed the mindset of parents too.
So that no matter which school your child goes to, every school, a good school. Not just the branded schools are good schools. Or even the notion that teachers from branded schools can teach well and therefore are good teachers.
There have been talks about teaching a child differently. But if assessment does not change, then it is not going to change how we teach a child.
Hence, with new hopes and moving in the new direction, I hope it changed the mindset of parents too.
So that no matter which school your child goes to, every school, a good school. Not just the branded schools are good schools. Or even the notion that teachers from branded schools can teach well and therefore are good teachers.
Saturday, September 08, 2012
Nightmare
I couldn't sleep. I remembered switching off the tv at 425am. Then I slept. But it's only 452am, and I'm up blogging. I woke up fm a nightmare.
The nightmare felt so real. I dreamt that there was a guy singing out from the alarm clock. No matter how soft or how I turned it off, the man kept singing and singing. I had no choice and I shoved the alarm clock into the mini fridge that was in my room. When I turned around, I saw Adrian wearing a white hooded jacket and he had the hood over his head and he was sitting up, on the bed. And he was mumbling something in Cantonese, some three worded phrase and he kept repeating it. I walked towards the bed and lie down, and realised Adrian was mumbling in his sleep. But he looked horrifying with the hood over his head.
That was when I woke up. For a moment, I thought it was real. First thing, I looked over and checked. No white hood jacket man sitting on the bed. Next, I actually tell myself to check with kelvin if anybody could plant something in the alarm click and control from there. And told myself to take out the alarm clock from the mini fridge the next morning. Then I said, wait a minute, I dun have an alarm clock!!!!!!! I remembered clearly, the last song was Sam lee's song. I remembered my left index finger was very cold as I shoved the alarm clock in.
I dunno which was more horrifying. The dream or the fact that I felt it so real.
I'm frightened.
The nightmare felt so real. I dreamt that there was a guy singing out from the alarm clock. No matter how soft or how I turned it off, the man kept singing and singing. I had no choice and I shoved the alarm clock into the mini fridge that was in my room. When I turned around, I saw Adrian wearing a white hooded jacket and he had the hood over his head and he was sitting up, on the bed. And he was mumbling something in Cantonese, some three worded phrase and he kept repeating it. I walked towards the bed and lie down, and realised Adrian was mumbling in his sleep. But he looked horrifying with the hood over his head.
That was when I woke up. For a moment, I thought it was real. First thing, I looked over and checked. No white hood jacket man sitting on the bed. Next, I actually tell myself to check with kelvin if anybody could plant something in the alarm click and control from there. And told myself to take out the alarm clock from the mini fridge the next morning. Then I said, wait a minute, I dun have an alarm clock!!!!!!! I remembered clearly, the last song was Sam lee's song. I remembered my left index finger was very cold as I shoved the alarm clock in.
I dunno which was more horrifying. The dream or the fact that I felt it so real.
I'm frightened.
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
Motivation
I've lost the motivation in life, that motivation that pushes u in your every day life.
Life seems so meaningless now. It's easy to think about ending it. But I know I have to carry on living.
This is life as we know it. 那天，张嘉慧已经在喧哗的城市中死了。
Life seems so meaningless now. It's easy to think about ending it. But I know I have to carry on living.
This is life as we know it. 那天，张嘉慧已经在喧哗的城市中死了。
Another night
Another night of not being able to fall asleep. But at least last night, I know I didn't take medication.
If medication doesn't help, I don't know what else will.
If medication doesn't help, I don't know what else will.
Monday, September 03, 2012
Insomnia getting worse
Last night, tool pills at 9pm. But I couldn't get to sleep!!!! Until 1 am plus, I forces myself to close my eyes to sleep. But still couldn't sleep! I think I finally fell asleep at 2 plus or 3am.
It's no use. Y did the medicine fail on me? I'm now afraid of the night where sleep becomes a problem.
It's no use. Y did the medicine fail on me? I'm now afraid of the night where sleep becomes a problem.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Happy teachers' day
My class gave me another surprise! They came to give me the handmade flowers and a box of chocolate handmade by farizan.
Thank you very much and I'm so touched. Really gonna miss this lot after u graduate. Sob sob.
Thank you very much and I'm so touched. Really gonna miss this lot after u graduate. Sob sob.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
so sad by the sudden death
suddenly, read from tweets, an ex-student, passed away. he's only 19 yrs old.
This is so sudden, life is so...... unpredictable.
was there regrets? what about his friends and family members? do they have any regrets?
it suddenly just dawn on me.... i can't go on.... i need to time out and recollect my emotions.
This is so sudden, life is so...... unpredictable.
was there regrets? what about his friends and family members? do they have any regrets?
it suddenly just dawn on me.... i can't go on.... i need to time out and recollect my emotions.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
peace in cemetery
Sorry grandma, woke u up so early in the morning.
I do not know why I drove here to see you, maybe I just needed a listening ear.
The cemetery did give me some solace. Quiet, peaceful. Not that it has helped me solve any problems, just that I can really cry my heart out.
I have done all I can, but this time, I'm going to lose it all. Looking at grandma, from the Christian point of view, I know why God is taking away my most precious thing in my life. But deep inside my heart, I know I will not give up. Sorry God.
Looking at ah ma, i remember people say, aft death, a person is at a happy place, well again. Well, I dun wish to be in that happy place, just let me die. Better than now, like a zombie and yet still have to put up a front.
I do not know why I drove here to see you, maybe I just needed a listening ear.
The cemetery did give me some solace. Quiet, peaceful. Not that it has helped me solve any problems, just that I can really cry my heart out.
I have done all I can, but this time, I'm going to lose it all. Looking at grandma, from the Christian point of view, I know why God is taking away my most precious thing in my life. But deep inside my heart, I know I will not give up. Sorry God.
Looking at ah ma, i remember people say, aft death, a person is at a happy place, well again. Well, I dun wish to be in that happy place, just let me die. Better than now, like a zombie and yet still have to put up a front.
Tuesday, August 07, 2012
Highly tensed
Past week was highly stress and it was taking a toll on me this week. Was glad to have completed a big bulk of marking last week, otherwise it would be worse.
Yesterday when I got home, I did bring out a math revision paper for Marcus to do, just that I didn't write it down as for Mabel, I wrote it down because her was from certain pages of the assessment books.
So when I went home, saw Marcus reading, asked him if he had finish the maths. He said I didn't assign him. That's when I erupted. How could it be I didn't assign him any work when his maths prelims is on the following day? Yes, I admitted I forgot to bring out the paper.
Then Marcus just continued reading. So at that point of time, I gave up. Since he not worried, y should I worry for him and get so worked up?
I didn't have dinner with them at the table. I just carried a bowl of soup tote room and closed the door. Drank my soup and started working in my own stuff.
Managed to complete two work stuff. By then it was 8 plus. Just stayed in the room an watch tv. Didn't settle them to sleep at 10. Basically, just myself and iPhone. That's all. I dun feel like caring, or temporarily sun want to care about the children.
Even this morning, didn't have the motivation to wake up on time. Usually, when I fetch them to school, when they alight, I would say bye Mabel, bye Marcus. Today I juz said a general bye.
I dunno if I'm disappointed with my ch or disappointed with myself. Sometimes, at a point in life, u feel disappointed, rejected in life. U feel that u were not in the top form like we used to be. Is it a cycle of life? It's like a ferris wheel. Whatever at the top must come down, similarly whatever at the bottom, will go up. It just takes time.
Yesterday when I got home, I did bring out a math revision paper for Marcus to do, just that I didn't write it down as for Mabel, I wrote it down because her was from certain pages of the assessment books.
So when I went home, saw Marcus reading, asked him if he had finish the maths. He said I didn't assign him. That's when I erupted. How could it be I didn't assign him any work when his maths prelims is on the following day? Yes, I admitted I forgot to bring out the paper.
Then Marcus just continued reading. So at that point of time, I gave up. Since he not worried, y should I worry for him and get so worked up?
I didn't have dinner with them at the table. I just carried a bowl of soup tote room and closed the door. Drank my soup and started working in my own stuff.
Managed to complete two work stuff. By then it was 8 plus. Just stayed in the room an watch tv. Didn't settle them to sleep at 10. Basically, just myself and iPhone. That's all. I dun feel like caring, or temporarily sun want to care about the children.
Even this morning, didn't have the motivation to wake up on time. Usually, when I fetch them to school, when they alight, I would say bye Mabel, bye Marcus. Today I juz said a general bye.
I dunno if I'm disappointed with my ch or disappointed with myself. Sometimes, at a point in life, u feel disappointed, rejected in life. U feel that u were not in the top form like we used to be. Is it a cycle of life? It's like a ferris wheel. Whatever at the top must come down, similarly whatever at the bottom, will go up. It just takes time.
Monday, August 06, 2012
Short week
Everybody is happy and excited that this week is a short week. Everyone except me.
I was looking forward to it. But no longer, at this point of time.
My eagerness has killed everything. I now dread the week. Cannot turn back the clock. Can forward it?
I was looking forward to it. But no longer, at this point of time.
My eagerness has killed everything. I now dread the week. Cannot turn back the clock. Can forward it?
Friday, August 03, 2012
Perseverance
With only 4 hours of sleep and it was not total rest. I woke up almost every hour because of the pain in my arms, I know my body is tired. I just want to see how much I can push my body today, how far it can go. Can I persevere?
Wednesday, August 01, 2012
Emotional
I think I'm an emotional person. Or should I say, emotional when it come to watching movie.
Recently watched this china production movie, of the old era. Wasn't expecting much from the movie, but one part really got me and I started crying.
Some good movies that really touch my heart, I can talk about it for day's. This is something man might not understand and think that woman are crazy. My dad would think this way.
Recently watched this china production movie, of the old era. Wasn't expecting much from the movie, but one part really got me and I started crying.
Some good movies that really touch my heart, I can talk about it for day's. This is something man might not understand and think that woman are crazy. My dad would think this way.
Cheaper beer?
So with Thaibev buying 40% stake in ABP (or is it APB), are we expecting cheaper Chang beer or singha beer in the near future?
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Defeated
Received the email, was not successful.
Feeling defeated. Feeling a sense of..... Disappointment?
I kept sighing. I feel like having a shoulder to cry on. I feel much defeated. My confidence has taken a bashing.
Feeling down.....
Feeling defeated. Feeling a sense of..... Disappointment?
I kept sighing. I feel like having a shoulder to cry on. I feel much defeated. My confidence has taken a bashing.
Feeling down.....
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Scolding children early in the morning
This morning, i was very irked by the things Marcus and Mabel did, I did not want to scold them early in the morning, but I really could not control myself.
Marcus:
The usual practice was to pack the school bag the night before. This morning, Marcus came down to the living room with his pencil box, calculator, maths worksheet and Social Studies workbook. He sat on the sofa with all these thins laid beside him. My first question to him, are those things to be put into the bag?
He sighed, took maths worksheet, walked to his bag and put it inside.
Then i asked him again, what about the rest? he walked to the sofa, took a pencil box and started to walk towards his bag again. That was when I flared up and asked him, why can't he one shot take all his things and placed it into his bag?
So my long string of nagging started. I asked him why he can't place his things inside his bag the moment he came down from his bedroom? He told me he wanted to rest. Then I started again, why can't he do all his things first, then rest? Why must he rest first?
Last night before completing his homework, he took a rest before dinner, his homework was not completed. After dinner, he sat on the sofa and watched 'journey to the west'. I kept quiet. At 8pm, he went up to continue his homework. I do not know how long he took to complete his work, but close to 10pm (sleeping time), he asked me two maths question.
So while scolding him, i did bring up last night's issue.
My rationale:
When he came down with all his things from the bedroom, he would have easily just take a few more steps to his bag and placed his things inside his bag. It is so simple. Why must he carry all the things to the sofa and rest first?
Mabel:
After scolding Marcus, I saw a crossword puzzle paper on the piano. It was Mabel. She had some clues she could not solve. Again, i started scolding.
Last night, Mabel had the whole night to ask me about the cross word puzzle. Yes, true, she was doing e-learning in the night. But after that, 9pm when she started to watch tv, she had the time to ask me.
Rationale:
In the morning, that half an hour, there are many things to be done. Homework questions should be asked the night before, not in the morning!
After scolding them, i was so angry that i didn't realise i gulped down my coffee.
Was disappointed with both of them.
Marcus:
The usual practice was to pack the school bag the night before. This morning, Marcus came down to the living room with his pencil box, calculator, maths worksheet and Social Studies workbook. He sat on the sofa with all these thins laid beside him. My first question to him, are those things to be put into the bag?
He sighed, took maths worksheet, walked to his bag and put it inside.
Then i asked him again, what about the rest? he walked to the sofa, took a pencil box and started to walk towards his bag again. That was when I flared up and asked him, why can't he one shot take all his things and placed it into his bag?
So my long string of nagging started. I asked him why he can't place his things inside his bag the moment he came down from his bedroom? He told me he wanted to rest. Then I started again, why can't he do all his things first, then rest? Why must he rest first?
Last night before completing his homework, he took a rest before dinner, his homework was not completed. After dinner, he sat on the sofa and watched 'journey to the west'. I kept quiet. At 8pm, he went up to continue his homework. I do not know how long he took to complete his work, but close to 10pm (sleeping time), he asked me two maths question.
So while scolding him, i did bring up last night's issue.
My rationale:
When he came down with all his things from the bedroom, he would have easily just take a few more steps to his bag and placed his things inside his bag. It is so simple. Why must he carry all the things to the sofa and rest first?
Mabel:
After scolding Marcus, I saw a crossword puzzle paper on the piano. It was Mabel. She had some clues she could not solve. Again, i started scolding.
Last night, Mabel had the whole night to ask me about the cross word puzzle. Yes, true, she was doing e-learning in the night. But after that, 9pm when she started to watch tv, she had the time to ask me.
Rationale:
In the morning, that half an hour, there are many things to be done. Homework questions should be asked the night before, not in the morning!
After scolding them, i was so angry that i didn't realise i gulped down my coffee.
Was disappointed with both of them.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Random thoughts after reading newspaper
random thoughts:
1) Fatherhood makes andy lau happier and fatter.
2) fire at east village. just wondering, how the fire got to be so big and so diffcult to extinguish? It took 80 SCDF officers to extinguish the fire in 4 hours. Was SCDF slow in responding? inefficient to put out the fire? If buildings in Singapore goes through random fire check, then how is it that such an incident could happen? the fire checks on building is supposed to prevent fire, right? or to make sure that in event of fire, exits of building are not blocked? i think it's the latter.
read the report, if the fire started at around 830am, the SCDF received call at 905am, what took the hotel so long to call the SCDF???????? could the fire have been prevented from escalating if the hotel authorities had called SCDF earlier?
3) US dollor is at $1.26 against Sing dollar.
yah, i guess that's all for my random thoughts.
1) Fatherhood makes andy lau happier and fatter.
2) fire at east village. just wondering, how the fire got to be so big and so diffcult to extinguish? It took 80 SCDF officers to extinguish the fire in 4 hours. Was SCDF slow in responding? inefficient to put out the fire? If buildings in Singapore goes through random fire check, then how is it that such an incident could happen? the fire checks on building is supposed to prevent fire, right? or to make sure that in event of fire, exits of building are not blocked? i think it's the latter.
read the report, if the fire started at around 830am, the SCDF received call at 905am, what took the hotel so long to call the SCDF???????? could the fire have been prevented from escalating if the hotel authorities had called SCDF earlier?
3) US dollor is at $1.26 against Sing dollar.
yah, i guess that's all for my random thoughts.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Women- big hearted?
Someone asked me this question. I don't have the answer.
Are women 大方？
For those reading this post, u can ask yourself this question.
Personally, for the man i love, I would. Sometimes the feeling may be sour, but got to trust your man, love conquers all. That is provided your man has been good to you. On that belief, i trust my man.
Gracious is the way to go in true love.
It was difficult to continue the post. Because I was thinking, if a man cheated, the woman would, for the sake of the family, stand by the husband. Just look at the case of those men caught in the sex with underage prostitute case. Did mrs shaw stood by mr shaw?
But if it was the woman who cheated, 99% of the men will not stand by the wife. Just look at the case of the scdf case.
Yes, men have their pride. Especially if the case is on news. Does it mean that woman doesn't have pride? No. I think it's because society has made women the weaker sex. Yes, we have come a long way and progress in women fighting for equal rights. But somehow, that's how far we can go. Men are from mars. Women from Venus, we can never be equal. We are made to be different.
Otherwise, women should go for NS and men should try child bearing. Men and women will never be the same. For women, we think with the heart, which proves to be complicated. For men, they think with their head, rationalize. Some silly men would think with their cock head.
Then why are some women small hearted? Maybe it's because they really love their men, that's why it matters to them. Maybe it's not that they don't trust their men, it's they don't trust the other women. But then again, if they trust their men, why would they worry about the other women? I really don't know.
So back to my question, and I hope u have seriously think about it. Are women big hearted, generous?
Are women 大方？
For those reading this post, u can ask yourself this question.
Personally, for the man i love, I would. Sometimes the feeling may be sour, but got to trust your man, love conquers all. That is provided your man has been good to you. On that belief, i trust my man.
Gracious is the way to go in true love.
It was difficult to continue the post. Because I was thinking, if a man cheated, the woman would, for the sake of the family, stand by the husband. Just look at the case of those men caught in the sex with underage prostitute case. Did mrs shaw stood by mr shaw?
But if it was the woman who cheated, 99% of the men will not stand by the wife. Just look at the case of the scdf case.
Yes, men have their pride. Especially if the case is on news. Does it mean that woman doesn't have pride? No. I think it's because society has made women the weaker sex. Yes, we have come a long way and progress in women fighting for equal rights. But somehow, that's how far we can go. Men are from mars. Women from Venus, we can never be equal. We are made to be different.
Otherwise, women should go for NS and men should try child bearing. Men and women will never be the same. For women, we think with the heart, which proves to be complicated. For men, they think with their head, rationalize. Some silly men would think with their cock head.
Then why are some women small hearted? Maybe it's because they really love their men, that's why it matters to them. Maybe it's not that they don't trust their men, it's they don't trust the other women. But then again, if they trust their men, why would they worry about the other women? I really don't know.
So back to my question, and I hope u have seriously think about it. Are women big hearted, generous?
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Eventful day
Since Sunday night, it has been rather eventful.
At 3 plus, realised max was turning and tossing in his bed. Then took his temperature. He was having a fever. Administered medicine. Didn't really get to sleep till 4 plus. Had to be patted to sleep
So took child care on Monday. Brought him to see the doc. After we came back, settled, Mabel called from school and said that she sprained her leg.
Rushed to school to pick her up and immediately brought her to see the Chinese physician. Luckily, it was nothing serious and immediately aft that, she could walk better.
The Chinese physician didn't apply on the right ankle which was the injured area. He pressed on the ear, left wrist and left ankle.
Anyway, was kept busy yesterday.
At 3 plus, realised max was turning and tossing in his bed. Then took his temperature. He was having a fever. Administered medicine. Didn't really get to sleep till 4 plus. Had to be patted to sleep
So took child care on Monday. Brought him to see the doc. After we came back, settled, Mabel called from school and said that she sprained her leg.
Rushed to school to pick her up and immediately brought her to see the Chinese physician. Luckily, it was nothing serious and immediately aft that, she could walk better.
The Chinese physician didn't apply on the right ankle which was the injured area. He pressed on the ear, left wrist and left ankle.
Anyway, was kept busy yesterday.
Tuesday, July 03, 2012
Blasted
Today, Marcus' procrastination really blasted me off. Already mood not very Sui, to come back to the procrastination displayed by him, I really blew my top.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Horrible week
Been a horrible week. Sucks. Not happy. Will I get used to it? Maybe. Mayb I have to start learning.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Hi
Hello stranger. It's been some time since I blogged.
Yet to upload some Taiwan pics here.
Yet to do some official business wrt work.
But i've completed rearranging my iTunes music. That's an accomplishment.
Yet to upload some Taiwan pics here.
Yet to do some official business wrt work.
But i've completed rearranging my iTunes music. That's an accomplishment.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Last week of holiday
Sigh. Last few days to enjoy. Today I slept until 10 plus then wake up, Shiok!
So sad, enjoying holidays. All good things must come to an end. Never mind, I'm looking forward to the next holidays!
So sad, enjoying holidays. All good things must come to an end. Never mind, I'm looking forward to the next holidays!
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Pleasant surprise
I was tricked downstairs by Vanessa, thought Cathy in trouble, need counseling. So I went down, and I got a pleasant surprise.
Luckily I didn't go down in pj. That would be awful!
After that, since Marcus and Mabel not asleep yet, so I asked them down to. Evidence, if not my hubby thought I went out to meet lover. Ha ha.
Luckily I didn't go down in pj. That would be awful!
After that, since Marcus and Mabel not asleep yet, so I asked them down to. Evidence, if not my hubby thought I went out to meet lover. Ha ha.
37 years ago
37 years ago, on this day, my mum gave birth to me. Did I give my mum a difficult birth? I dunno. But I was a sickly child. I needed a drip because I did not take in milk well. They had to insert the needle in my head.
I also knew that my both legs were not of equal length. It would make me walk with a limp. However, the midwife adjusted the bones. So it was remedied.
37 years later, want to thank my parents for having me. I hope I have not failed them.
Last of all, happy birthday to me.
I also knew that my both legs were not of equal length. It would make me walk with a limp. However, the midwife adjusted the bones. So it was remedied.
37 years later, want to thank my parents for having me. I hope I have not failed them.
Last of all, happy birthday to me.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
buay tahan liao
Did you say "happy mother day" to your mom or MIL every time that you can remember of???
WHat goes round...will comes round.
If...your answer is "YES" then it is time to tell your 3M what I said.
Above was a comment to my mother's day post.
all this while, i've been refraining from making comments to the comments in my posting. but now, i'm going to let loose a bit.
My silence does not mean that anonymous can keep on commenting on my posts as if you know me well. My blog is a place where i blog my thoughts and feelings. If you don't like what i blog, then leave. by not responding to comments made on my posts, it says that i dun care about what other people think of me. But now apparently, i have to break my silence, because i'm pissed.
If you do not know me well, then dun ask me if i say 'happy mother day' to my mom or mil and tell me things like what goes round will come round.
and to add on to my mother's day post:
i was upset because of the whole hype about mother's day. so it was kind of sad when your children did not do anything special on that day. I don't blame them, because i'm upset that the daddy didn't rally the children to do something on that special day while i actually have in mind to rally the children to do something for their fathers on father's day.
and it doesn't matter if they didn't do something special for me on mother's day. As long as they appreciate me every day, which they do, i'm happy.
yah, enough is enough, i'm tired of this.
WHat goes round...will comes round.
If...your answer is "YES" then it is time to tell your 3M what I said.
Above was a comment to my mother's day post.
all this while, i've been refraining from making comments to the comments in my posting. but now, i'm going to let loose a bit.
My silence does not mean that anonymous can keep on commenting on my posts as if you know me well. My blog is a place where i blog my thoughts and feelings. If you don't like what i blog, then leave. by not responding to comments made on my posts, it says that i dun care about what other people think of me. But now apparently, i have to break my silence, because i'm pissed.
If you do not know me well, then dun ask me if i say 'happy mother day' to my mom or mil and tell me things like what goes round will come round.
and to add on to my mother's day post:
i was upset because of the whole hype about mother's day. so it was kind of sad when your children did not do anything special on that day. I don't blame them, because i'm upset that the daddy didn't rally the children to do something on that special day while i actually have in mind to rally the children to do something for their fathers on father's day.
and it doesn't matter if they didn't do something special for me on mother's day. As long as they appreciate me every day, which they do, i'm happy.
yah, enough is enough, i'm tired of this.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Marcus grew up
Was planning to buy Marcus some pj on sat as his old ones are really not fit for wearing.
Realised there are pj for babies and younger children. But to find pj for a 12 year old is a little bit difficult. So in the end, bought him some plain t shorts and boxers for him to wear as pj.
Marcus grew up already, wear boxers.
Realised there are pj for babies and younger children. But to find pj for a 12 year old is a little bit difficult. So in the end, bought him some plain t shorts and boxers for him to wear as pj.
Marcus grew up already, wear boxers.
Friday, May 25, 2012
no items to wish for
After removing 'marcus to pass chinese' from my wish list, i realised there is nothing on my wish list. and i'm staring blankly as to what next to wish for. found that i've nothing to wish for.
is my life that contented that i've nothing to wish for? well, only those who knows me well will know what i really wish for.
is my life that contented that i've nothing to wish for? well, only those who knows me well will know what i really wish for.
i've removed one item from my wish list. that is for marcus to pass his chinese. After 3 long years, he finally pass his Chinese!!!!! wa!!!!! hope he maintains the standard.
But based on his mid year results, he cannot go anywhere. or should i say he couldn't get into the schools he aim to go. He got only A C C C, A for English.
Disappointed with his science results though, he should do much better in science.
But based on his mid year results, he cannot go anywhere. or should i say he couldn't get into the schools he aim to go. He got only A C C C, A for English.
Disappointed with his science results though, he should do much better in science.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Unfriend a friend in Facebook
What do u do when your friend Unfriend u in Facebook? Retaliate?
I think my reaction is to rumble here and my life continues to move on.
By unfriending a person, u had made clear how much u weigh this friendship. Yes, there were questions like y did u do that, I would like to ask. But forget it. Because likewise, I'ver no longer put a value to this. It doesn't bother me that I need to find the answer. I do not even want to comment on the action because it doesn't matter anymore.
I've more important people in my life to love, to care.
这个故事终于写完了。
I think my reaction is to rumble here and my life continues to move on.
By unfriending a person, u had made clear how much u weigh this friendship. Yes, there were questions like y did u do that, I would like to ask. But forget it. Because likewise, I'ver no longer put a value to this. It doesn't bother me that I need to find the answer. I do not even want to comment on the action because it doesn't matter anymore.
I've more important people in my life to love, to care.
这个故事终于写完了。
Friday, May 18, 2012
Life is fragile
Reading the Chinese newspaper on the funeral of the taxi driver. The pictures of his children crying as they walk the last journey Heart ache. can cry.
Life is indeed fragile. He was gone in one second.
Life is indeed fragile. Must handle with care. U know the box has this warning? Fragile. Handle with care. Maybe all of us should wear this sign on us to remind ourselves.
Life is indeed fragile. He was gone in one second.
Life is indeed fragile. Must handle with care. U know the box has this warning? Fragile. Handle with care. Maybe all of us should wear this sign on us to remind ourselves.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Play pool mini one
Kelvin bought a mini pool table long time ago with Adrian. I was told, of I remember correctly that it was on impulse. Then it was placed in the store room For some time.
Recently children brought it out to play and last night I played with them. It was fun.
Recently children brought it out to play and last night I played with them. It was fun.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Max so sweet
I was marking furiously last night and Max left me a note on the fridge magnet. So sweet. 
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Memories
Last night before I sleep, suddenly recall my mil's last moments. Don't ask me why, just recalled. Tuesday will mark her 100 days of passing.
Recalled how she took care of the family. My hands are trembling as I'm typing. Maybe today is mother's day. I hope I didn't fail her as a dil. We had some misunderstandings and differences. But I really want to thank her on this day for her care, her help. I will always remember how she takes good care of this family, especially how she use her last strength to cook dinner for the family, making sure we have dinner to eat before she goes.
I also recalled my grandma. Been dreaming of her the past few nights. But it's always at the scene of the hospital. It was as if she is well again. Recall her 慈祥 face, her white hair. Recalled my aunties use to say, when I was younger, when she looked after me, I would always help her to go down to buy things. I think her biggest worry for me is that I stopped going to church. I think she never tells me that. But I knew she kept praying for me.
I know I'm finding excuses not to go back to church. I know deep down inside. It's complicated.
Recalled how she took care of the family. My hands are trembling as I'm typing. Maybe today is mother's day. I hope I didn't fail her as a dil. We had some misunderstandings and differences. But I really want to thank her on this day for her care, her help. I will always remember how she takes good care of this family, especially how she use her last strength to cook dinner for the family, making sure we have dinner to eat before she goes.
I also recalled my grandma. Been dreaming of her the past few nights. But it's always at the scene of the hospital. It was as if she is well again. Recall her 慈祥 face, her white hair. Recalled my aunties use to say, when I was younger, when she looked after me, I would always help her to go down to buy things. I think her biggest worry for me is that I stopped going to church. I think she never tells me that. But I knew she kept praying for me.
I know I'm finding excuses not to go back to church. I know deep down inside. It's complicated.
Mother's day
My mum is the only one that say happy mother's day to me this morning. Nothing from my children. And WAS a little upset in the morning.
Disappointed with children? Dunno. Maybe there shouldn't be a mother's day at all.
Disappointed with children? Dunno. Maybe there shouldn't be a mother's day at all.
Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Rain
Rain rain go away, little children wants to play.
But rain, if u dun start pouring now, I will, soon.
But rain, if u dun start pouring now, I will, soon.
Weather
Weather is so hot, wish I'm in bikini, by the beach, sipping beer. But just as I was typing this, dark clouds r coming. And thunder!!!!!!
Weather changes fast, just like my temperament, Hee, this is me. Love and accept me the way that I am
Weather changes fast, just like my temperament, Hee, this is me. Love and accept me the way that I am
rainbow and dawn
the sky was actually quite beautiful as i drove. the light that shines through the darkness. read other people's tweets that some saw rainbow. that would be nice too.
driving towards the light that brightens up the dark sky, it should give people hope. the hope that there is light after the tunnel, the hope that there is rainbow after the rain. it should brightens or at least lift up my mood.
tried looking at sunflower, but moodiness remains.
driving towards the light that brightens up the dark sky, it should give people hope. the hope that there is light after the tunnel, the hope that there is rainbow after the rain. it should brightens or at least lift up my mood.
tried looking at sunflower, but moodiness remains.
mood
i remember that facebook usd to have (or still have) this mood meter, mood indicator. so how is your mood today? how is my mood today? can't go on with the post. pause...........
rain
last night i tried looking for the moon from the balcony, can't see any moon, obstructed. THis morning the thunder and rain splattering on my windows woke me up. rain, sigh. saw the lightning and heard the thunder, more sigh.
max was also awoken by the thunder and lightning, carried him to bed, cuddled him and patted him to sleep. just when i was about to fall back to sleep again, the alarm clock rang! no choice, reluctantly woke up.
Luckily, the rain stopped in time for everyone to get to school.
max was also awoken by the thunder and lightning, carried him to bed, cuddled him and patted him to sleep. just when i was about to fall back to sleep again, the alarm clock rang! no choice, reluctantly woke up.
Luckily, the rain stopped in time for everyone to get to school.
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
Saturday, May 05, 2012
Public holiday
Yeah, tell me about it. I kind of dislike public holiday. It's like just because it is public holiday, kind of like expect more.
Si bei sian.
Si bei sian.
Friday, May 04, 2012
Tuesday, May 01, 2012
Monday, April 30, 2012
Public transport experience
Was apprehensive that I would be taking the public transport home because it's been years since I took bus. And I really do not know what bus leads to my home.
So after some Internet search, in the end, choose to take met and feeder because I also need to check my ezlink card and top up if necessary.
Well, the experience is not as frightening as I thought. Stood all the way, I dun want to be stomped for sitting on priority seats. And trust me, no wonder people rather pretend to be asleep on the mrt than give up the seats. My legs were tired. Maybe I was on heels, hence plus the balancing, it's really working out feet muscles. Plus I do not have great balancing skills.
So all in all, I enjoyed the experience. No hurry, no horning at other people, no cursing and swearing. I could listen to my music peacefully.
So after some Internet search, in the end, choose to take met and feeder because I also need to check my ezlink card and top up if necessary.
Well, the experience is not as frightening as I thought. Stood all the way, I dun want to be stomped for sitting on priority seats. And trust me, no wonder people rather pretend to be asleep on the mrt than give up the seats. My legs were tired. Maybe I was on heels, hence plus the balancing, it's really working out feet muscles. Plus I do not have great balancing skills.
So all in all, I enjoyed the experience. No hurry, no horning at other people, no cursing and swearing. I could listen to my music peacefully.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Something's wrong
Something's wrong with my body system. I dunno what it is purging out. First, since Friday morning, I had this irritating pain in my left arm. I pin the cause to rheumatism. Dismissed the pain.
Saturday, chest pain. When it came, it hits you in the face, wham.
Sunday morning, again arms felt the pain. But it was so painful, until I couldn't fall back to sleep again. Then for the whole of the day, an irritating pain in the left arm as well.
And now, haven't eat anything for dinner, I already LS. Wonder what actually came out. Want a pic? Joking. I wouldn't put such disgusting pic on the blog.
Saturday, chest pain. When it came, it hits you in the face, wham.
Sunday morning, again arms felt the pain. But it was so painful, until I couldn't fall back to sleep again. Then for the whole of the day, an irritating pain in the left arm as well.
And now, haven't eat anything for dinner, I already LS. Wonder what actually came out. Want a pic? Joking. I wouldn't put such disgusting pic on the blog.
Friday, April 27, 2012
I can't stand Windows
I really can't stand windows. I'm having problems shutting it down, seriously. It was taking a long time to shut down, hence, i had to force shut it, reboot, and wait for a damn long time for it to run all the background programs before i can shut it down properly. Seriously!!!!!! what the fish.
If i dun shut down properly, the battery will be drained out and on Monday, it may have more problems. seriously cannot make it.
If i dun shut down properly, the battery will be drained out and on Monday, it may have more problems. seriously cannot make it.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Chicago
Was talking about the song inspiration. Now 883 playing the song.
You should know everywhere I go, always on my mind.
No one needs u more than I do.
Just some of the lyrics.
You should know everywhere I go, always on my mind.
No one needs u more than I do.
Just some of the lyrics.
Memory
I have goldfish memory. I can't remember people's name. I can't be in sales. How do I lose my memory? How to improve my memory? Any contributions?
Work and life
Work is torturous. One word, sian. Majority don't like to work.
Living is suffering. That's why it's important to have hope, motivation. But when you lose the hope, u then become a zombie, going through the motions and responsibilities.
Different people have different source of hope. What is yours?
Living is suffering. That's why it's important to have hope, motivation. But when you lose the hope, u then become a zombie, going through the motions and responsibilities.
Different people have different source of hope. What is yours?
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Inspiration
Lost my source of inspiration and motivation to the end of each work day.
Suddenly recall Chicago this song, you're the meaning in my life, you're the inspiration. That's how the chorus starts.
Suddenly recall Chicago this song, you're the meaning in my life, you're the inspiration. That's how the chorus starts.
results
Ok, results for F1, kind of expected, but 2nd place and 3rd place winner were cool. I guess it was good fight.
also realised in the long month of March, i only had 9 posts. Hmmmmm, what happened? Less talkative? Became busier? or simply, talk lesser?
also realised in the long month of March, i only had 9 posts. Hmmmmm, what happened? Less talkative? Became busier? or simply, talk lesser?
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Vodka prawn
Tried vodka prawn today. Mmmm just use vodka to marinate the prawn.
Well, I'm not sure if it's suppose to be gravy or dry when stir fry.
The taste? Mmmm, I didn't really taste the vodka. Let u know if the children are drunk today.
Well, I'm not sure if it's suppose to be gravy or dry when stir fry.
The taste? Mmmm, I didn't really taste the vodka. Let u know if the children are drunk today.
Monday, April 09, 2012
12 long hours
12 long hours of hard work. In European countries, the union would have organized a strike to call for shorter working hours.
12 hours, half of 24. Yup, it's a half day job, literally.
I really don't see the point.
12 hours, half of 24. Yup, it's a half day job, literally.
I really don't see the point.
Saturday, April 07, 2012
那些年
Before I watch the movie, I didn't really understand the song. But aft watching the show, I really appreciate the song.
Not focus
I still got the 那些年 bug. Was not concentrating while I bathing. Almost use shower gel to wash my hair. Then when want to soap the body, use shampoo. Sigh.
Stupidity, no medicine can cure.
Stupidity, no medicine can cure.
林育群-人海中遇見你(那些年，我們一起追的女孩電影原聲帶)
will find a better mv, in the mean time, here are the lyrics:
你的愛值得信賴 你的心靠在身邊 只要你在我就有許多夢想 只要你在我就有更多力量 親愛的 我多麼幸運 人海中能夠遇見你 親愛的 我多麼盼望 就從這一刻起和你分享所有感覺 親愛的 我多麼幸運 人海中能夠遇見你 親愛的 我多麼盼望 就從這一刻起和你分享真心的感覺 你的愛沒有保留 你的心獻給了我 只要你在我就有更多理想 與你同在就好像擁抱天堂 OH 親愛的 我多麼幸運 人海中能夠遇見你 親愛的 我多麼盼望 每一天在這里永遠永遠有家的感覺 親愛的 我多麼幸運 人海中能夠遇見你 親愛的 我多麼盼望 每一天在這里永遠永遠有家的感覺 你的愛沒有保留 你的心獻給了我 只要你在我就有更多理想 與你同在就好像擁抱天堂 OH 親愛的 我多麼幸運 人海中能夠遇見你 親愛的 我多麼盼望 每一天在這里永遠永遠有家的感覺 親愛的 我多麼幸運 人海中能夠遇見你 親愛的 我多麼盼望 每一天在這里和你分享 家的感覺
那些年，我们一起追过的女孩
It's really a nice show. Expected the ending that they would not be together. But I can feel the guy's love for the girl. I cried, and max saw me and asked me why i cry. I said i cry because the show is very nice. I bet he doesn't understand. He said he wanted to watch the show, i told him, he won't understand the show because he has not been through the school system yet.
The album has many piano pieces, quite nice.
Just regret that i had to watch it alone, was just imagining, if i were to be in the cinema, watching this show with my special someone, i'm sure to cry on his shoulders.
It's a nice show because it's funny and yet it makes you feel. Memories of your school time. Nice show. nicely written novel and nicely directed.
thumbs up!
you are the apple of my eye.
The album has many piano pieces, quite nice.
Just regret that i had to watch it alone, was just imagining, if i were to be in the cinema, watching this show with my special someone, i'm sure to cry on his shoulders.
It's a nice show because it's funny and yet it makes you feel. Memories of your school time. Nice show. nicely written novel and nicely directed.
thumbs up!
you are the apple of my eye.
movie watching
these few days been watching 蜡笔小新. there are altogether 160 episodes. i'm only at episode 38. will watch slowly. good way to destress.
am watching 那些年. It's a very nice show and funny show. i kept on laughing. I didn't go to co-ed school when i was in secondary school, but it still tickles me. the things that students do when they are schooling. haven't finish watching the show. sometimes lag, loading.... so i'm using the time to blog and watch at the same time.
am watching 那些年. It's a very nice show and funny show. i kept on laughing. I didn't go to co-ed school when i was in secondary school, but it still tickles me. the things that students do when they are schooling. haven't finish watching the show. sometimes lag, loading.... so i'm using the time to blog and watch at the same time.
Thursday, April 05, 2012
Tuesday, April 03, 2012
random thoughts
This is from stomp again:-
OK for teacher to go clubbing but why post pics of women hugging him?
Concerned parent STOMPer Anon says that while she understands teachers need to have a life outside of work, it is not right that this PE teacher has posted pictures of himself with a score of different women for his students to see.
Anon wrote:
"I happened to take a look at my daughter's facebook as she did not log out after using it.
"I was appalled when I chanced upon the facebook profile of her PE teacher-- a tanned young man.
"He had many photographs taken when clubbing and with different girls (seemingly of different nationalities) on different days in his profile pictures and mobile uploads which have attracted likes and comments from students.
"Teaching is indeed a stressful job and teachers do need to have lives outside work, but those photos should not be posted publicly for students or parents like me to view.
"Exactly what message is he trying to send across with those photos on his profile?
"Or is it because the teacher is trying to portray a young image to gain popularity among his students?"
One of the comments:-
I'm pretty sure who ever posted -ve comments, majority are not parents in the first place. Pls see it from the mom's pt of view. She's concern that the teacher is not showing good example to his students. Apart from intruding into her daughter's FB, the mom did bring up a point. DO YOU WANT OUR FUTURE GENERATION TO BE EXPOSE TO THIS LIFESTYLE?
To concern Mommy,
STOMP is definitely not the platform for you to complaint esp when the main audience here are of the younger age group i supposed. You might want to bring this concern up personally to the teacher. Esp if he is a PE teacher, he ought to promote healthy living to his student. Another thing, do educate your daughter on whats right and what wrong.
My views? well, i got to be politically correct here.
1) As the person who commented as said, the teacher is not showing good example to his students. Well, the commenter is actually quite objective in his point of view. Yes, i can understand the mum's intention, but why is it that only teachers have to set good example? What about parents? Don't parents also have to set good example? The mum has seriously violated her daughter's privacy by looking into her FB account and worse still, put it up on stomp. How would your the daughter feel if she were to know? Enraged and then you will lose the trust of your daughter totally.
Instead of worrying that her teachers is not setting a good example, i think you should start worrying about repairing your relationship with your daughter.
2) Next, the comment in caps, do you want our future generation to be expose to this lifestyle? Well, I'm in for exposing our generation to some things, vice etc. This kind of exposure is better than refraining them to see such things, then ultimately, when they reach the legal age, they may go clubbing, and then they are indeed expose to it and they may like it so much because pictures of such things had been hidden from them when they were young.
Ok, I think i didn't get my point across clearly in the above paragraph. Anyway, how many things can you hide from youngsters? You think they stupid is it? you think the internet don't have such things, is it? Oh please, if you really think of not exposing them to such lifestyle then censor internet, censor hollywood films, censor Hollywood MTV and songs. AHHHHHH, i make more sense in this paragraph.
Jia lat, i really cannot express myself in proper English.... only when in Singlish, then jitao can understand what i'm trying to say. Shit, am I going to be stomped for making this comment?
OK for teacher to go clubbing but why post pics of women hugging him?
Concerned parent STOMPer Anon says that while she understands teachers need to have a life outside of work, it is not right that this PE teacher has posted pictures of himself with a score of different women for his students to see.
Anon wrote:
"I happened to take a look at my daughter's facebook as she did not log out after using it.
"I was appalled when I chanced upon the facebook profile of her PE teacher-- a tanned young man.
"He had many photographs taken when clubbing and with different girls (seemingly of different nationalities) on different days in his profile pictures and mobile uploads which have attracted likes and comments from students.
"Teaching is indeed a stressful job and teachers do need to have lives outside work, but those photos should not be posted publicly for students or parents like me to view.
"Exactly what message is he trying to send across with those photos on his profile?
"Or is it because the teacher is trying to portray a young image to gain popularity among his students?"
One of the comments:-
I'm pretty sure who ever posted -ve comments, majority are not parents in the first place. Pls see it from the mom's pt of view. She's concern that the teacher is not showing good example to his students. Apart from intruding into her daughter's FB, the mom did bring up a point. DO YOU WANT OUR FUTURE GENERATION TO BE EXPOSE TO THIS LIFESTYLE?
To concern Mommy,
STOMP is definitely not the platform for you to complaint esp when the main audience here are of the younger age group i supposed. You might want to bring this concern up personally to the teacher. Esp if he is a PE teacher, he ought to promote healthy living to his student. Another thing, do educate your daughter on whats right and what wrong.
My views? well, i got to be politically correct here.
1) As the person who commented as said, the teacher is not showing good example to his students. Well, the commenter is actually quite objective in his point of view. Yes, i can understand the mum's intention, but why is it that only teachers have to set good example? What about parents? Don't parents also have to set good example? The mum has seriously violated her daughter's privacy by looking into her FB account and worse still, put it up on stomp. How would your the daughter feel if she were to know? Enraged and then you will lose the trust of your daughter totally.
Instead of worrying that her teachers is not setting a good example, i think you should start worrying about repairing your relationship with your daughter.
2) Next, the comment in caps, do you want our future generation to be expose to this lifestyle? Well, I'm in for exposing our generation to some things, vice etc. This kind of exposure is better than refraining them to see such things, then ultimately, when they reach the legal age, they may go clubbing, and then they are indeed expose to it and they may like it so much because pictures of such things had been hidden from them when they were young.
Ok, I think i didn't get my point across clearly in the above paragraph. Anyway, how many things can you hide from youngsters? You think they stupid is it? you think the internet don't have such things, is it? Oh please, if you really think of not exposing them to such lifestyle then censor internet, censor hollywood films, censor Hollywood MTV and songs. AHHHHHH, i make more sense in this paragraph.
Jia lat, i really cannot express myself in proper English.... only when in Singlish, then jitao can understand what i'm trying to say. Shit, am I going to be stomped for making this comment?
Singaporean women shorts/skirts getting too short?
Recently, on stomp, there were at least two articles featuring women wearing too short skirts/hot pants that show the butt cheek.
Some men finds it obscene. I wonder true or not? Some young men find it distracting. True or not?
what is your view on this?
Some men finds it obscene. I wonder true or not? Some young men find it distracting. True or not?
what is your view on this?
Monday, March 26, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
Cute piglet
My colleague went Japan for honeymoon and bought this snack as souvenirs for all of us.
I got this snack with a piggy face. It's so cute!!!!!! Simply love the piggy with its cute nose and eyes. Can't bear to eat it. So I took a picture of the snack.
I got this snack with a piggy face. It's so cute!!!!!! Simply love the piggy with its cute nose and eyes. Can't bear to eat it. So I took a picture of the snack.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Smurf chocolates
One of my colleague bought this box of chocolate. It was smurf chocolate. So cute. And I juz ate smurfette. 
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
Heart ache
Max made me heart pain. He cried and didn't allow me to go to work. He thought that this week holiday, I could spend time with him. After knowing that I have to spend 5 days away from home, he started crying. Pains me to have to work do hard and neglect the children.
So again, this is the 2nd time this month, I'm reconsidering my options for career.
So again, this is the 2nd time this month, I'm reconsidering my options for career.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Cioppino
I think that's the spelling. Taste good. Was surprise that the children drank the soup. Thought they would find it too fishy.
And the final product on Saturday night. only thing is I didn't beautify the arrangement. If this is iron chef Singapore, I would be booted out!
And the final product on Saturday night. only thing is I didn't beautify the arrangement. If this is iron chef Singapore, I would be booted out!
Chicken corden bleu
The lamb turn out nice. Mayb a bit too soft but good for people with no teeth. Ahem. Tsk tsk, suaning someone. As it's wasn't lamb shank, hence the lamb shoulder cut is a little bit fatty.
Ok, the pictures of the chicken corden bleu. It was not easy to wrap the chicken. Mayb my cheese was too thick. And shouldn't put too much cheese too. Because I didn't really season the chicken meat, the chicken taste pale in comparison to the rich ham and cheese taste.
Ok, the pictures of the chicken corden bleu. It was not easy to wrap the chicken. Mayb my cheese was too thick. And shouldn't put too much cheese too. Because I didn't really season the chicken meat, the chicken taste pale in comparison to the rich ham and cheese taste.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Rosemary braised lamb shanks
Just tried cooking. Not sure if it turns out well. No lamb shanks, wonder if this lamb shoulder cut can make it or not. So worried. If the lamb is not successful, sorry, we have to da bao 四大天王.
And yes, I put in a whole bottle of red wine. Wolf blass!
And yes, I put in a whole bottle of red wine. Wolf blass!
Friday, February 24, 2012
plants and love again
was just looking at the last post on plant and love.... so true, nodding in agreement. when a plant wither, you will try to revive it. but it depends on if the plant wants you to revive it. if the plant refuses, then.... what's next?
oh yes, my injured right middle finger has been feeling a little pain lately. signs of it healing? getting better?
oh yes, my injured right middle finger has been feeling a little pain lately. signs of it healing? getting better?
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Plants and love
So happy to see my plant growing. New leaves sprouting out. Somehow, you just a feel a sense of achievement. After putting in effort to care for it, water it, it is finally sprouting new leaves. But you know you have to continue to care for it lest it wither. So you continue your efforts.
I think it is the same with love. You put in effort to care, to look aft it. And the happiness and glow you will feel when you see love blossom. And you know you have to continue to put in even more effort because you couldn't let love wither. And you will continue to love not because you expect anything in return but because you just love the person.
I think it is the same with love. You put in effort to care, to look aft it. And the happiness and glow you will feel when you see love blossom. And you know you have to continue to put in even more effort because you couldn't let love wither. And you will continue to love not because you expect anything in return but because you just love the person.
Max and his good friend
That day, max received a card from his friend, a girl, to be precise. No, you cannot say it is his girl friend. She is a good friend. So he made a card in return. 
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
I stupid
So stupid of me. Was wondering why the laptop cannot open web pages, it's supposed to have wifi connection and connected to wireless network. Then realised, I off the wifi button. How stupid of me! But at least I found out my own mistake.
Friday, February 03, 2012
Why does it always have to end with 'Happily ever after????
I had this teacher who taught me Chinese in JC. All i remembered was he was a very impromptu person. He said, dun make appointment with him. He hates appointment.
He's a very impromptu person, he feels like it, he go.
I kind of like get what he means because it really feels good to do what u want. Feels good to go where you want to go. No inhibition. Life has too many rules and commitment, sometimes it's good to do what you want to do.
Sadly to agree, hate to say, marriage and children is the biggest commitment one has to make. Why do fairy tales always end with 'and they live happily ever after.'
Have you found your prince in a shining white armor on a white horse? If yes, does it guarantee a happily ever after?
He's a very impromptu person, he feels like it, he go.
I kind of like get what he means because it really feels good to do what u want. Feels good to go where you want to go. No inhibition. Life has too many rules and commitment, sometimes it's good to do what you want to do.
Sadly to agree, hate to say, marriage and children is the biggest commitment one has to make. Why do fairy tales always end with 'and they live happily ever after.'
Have you found your prince in a shining white armor on a white horse? If yes, does it guarantee a happily ever after?
Realization
I know why. It's a pent up feelings I bottled inside me this week. I kept pushing the feelings and tell myself it's ok it's ok. I denied myself of letting out my feelings.
So today, it all blew with a powerful force and I wasn't able to handle myself.
But then again, if I have let my feelings be shown at that time, be it angry, sad, what good does it do? It could have hurt the people around me or worse still, backlash.
So in conclusion, I'm still no good at handling my emotions. I still got lots to learn.
So today, it all blew with a powerful force and I wasn't able to handle myself.
But then again, if I have let my feelings be shown at that time, be it angry, sad, what good does it do? It could have hurt the people around me or worse still, backlash.
So in conclusion, I'm still no good at handling my emotions. I still got lots to learn.
Help
I think I need help. I juz spiral into feeling down and I can't stop myself from falling further. Then I just stare into space and I just cried.
I must learn to detach myself.
I must learn to detach myself.
Doesn't help
Shit, just realise retail therapy doesn't help. In fact, now I'm more depressed. Not because of the money spent, (no money Liao). I think my heart just feels so empty suddenly. Why? What is happening?
random thoughts
actually i do not have any random thoughts. no thoughts, no feelings, don't know why, don't feel like blogging recently. rest in peace, san.
online shopping
Oops, i did not do anything productive... been shoppin online and guess what, I just had some retail therepy. lao gong is so going to make noise at me.....
Friday, January 27, 2012
silence
not in the best of mood. feeling lousy and just holding back. hold back from revealing feelings as i'm afraid i say the wrong things.
and hearing max cry over the phone, already want to cry out, but max tears really broke me down.
and hearing max cry over the phone, already want to cry out, but max tears really broke me down.
CNY
CNY came and go.... so happy? sad? glad it's over? ordeal to go through? too much to eat? fat? why must we wear new clothes, shoes on the first day of CNY? does it make you a better person? does it make you a different person?
after CNY, during CNY, i actually felt empty. empty, no life, no meaning in life.
after CNY, during CNY, i actually felt empty. empty, no life, no meaning in life.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
Max dunno part what
Max thinks that when he is in primary 6 , he will be dragon. We kept telling him, he's born in the year of the dog, but he just thinks that when he is in primary 6, it will be year of dragon again as Marcus was born in the year of dragon.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Max is sick
Max fell sick yesterday. Fever, sore throat. Yesterday he looked tired. Today, he seems to be ok, back to his usual self and energetic.
New clothes
I think I was crazy. Yesterday I went to shop for clothes, in a span of about an hour, I shopped for 18 pieces of clothing. 4 dresses, 2 pants, 2 skirts and 10 tops. Each clothes average $32. Yup, cny only 2 days, how to wear all the clothing?
Monday, January 16, 2012
Sunday
Brought children to swim, arranged to meet up their cousins for swim. Actually, it wasn't kind of arranged, it was like we r going to swim, will u be swimming too?
The weather was great for swim. The children enjoyed themselves and max showed his sweetness again. He shielded me from the splashing water
Then in the evening, brought mum to eat Taiwan porridge.
The weather was great for swim. The children enjoyed themselves and max showed his sweetness again. He shielded me from the splashing water
Then in the evening, brought mum to eat Taiwan porridge.
Fri the 13th
Was your fri the 13th unlucky? For myself, the paper got jam in the photocopier, I almost trip and fell. I guess that's pretty much it.
And not to mention, the guy in pink shirt almost made me puke my lunch out.
And not to mention, the guy in pink shirt almost made me puke my lunch out.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Marcus
For the past three days, Marcus has been attending this Adam Khoo workshop which was organized by the school.
Last night, went for the closing ceremony where the trainer told parents what the children were taught and also a bit of parenting workshop.
The trainer was animated. It was interesting, didn't feel the 2 hours was long and boring. At the end, he allowed some of the children to come to the stage and talked. Most of the children apologized for being naughty, rude and said they love their parents. And most end up with a hug. I felt like I was in a motivational talk.
Well, Marcus volunteered too. Quoting from the trainer's closing words, most parents want their child to be able to take care of themselves when they grow up and most of all, to be happy.
Last night, went for the closing ceremony where the trainer told parents what the children were taught and also a bit of parenting workshop.
The trainer was animated. It was interesting, didn't feel the 2 hours was long and boring. At the end, he allowed some of the children to come to the stage and talked. Most of the children apologized for being naughty, rude and said they love their parents. And most end up with a hug. I felt like I was in a motivational talk.
Well, Marcus volunteered too. Quoting from the trainer's closing words, most parents want their child to be able to take care of themselves when they grow up and most of all, to be happy.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Max again
Max said he wanted to be an astronaut when he grows up. He said he want to earn a lot of money, so that he can buy me a Ferrari, he is so sweet.
Then when I tell him, astronaut has to go USA, he was a little reluctant. But after I tell him, I'll go with him, then he reluctantly say ok lor.
Then when I tell him, astronaut has to go USA, he was a little reluctant. But after I tell him, I'll go with him, then he reluctantly say ok lor.
Monday, January 09, 2012
Spring cleaning
On Saturday, I decides to spring clean the children's toys and some cupboards. Felt good after spring cleaning. 
Saturday, January 07, 2012
SMRT CEO Saw Phaik Hwa resigns - Channel NewsAsia
SMRT CEO Saw Phaik Hwa resigns - Channel NewsAsia
isn't it a little too late? probably she found greener pastures before she resigns.
isn't it a little too late? probably she found greener pastures before she resigns.
Friday, January 06, 2012
International Headlines vs Local Headlines about Ministerial Pay Cut
International Headlines vs Local Headlines about Ministerial Pay Cut
Really seriously, make a comparison between the headlines. Seriously, our media is tongue tied. That night on the news, they spend 16 Mins talking about the ministerial pay cut and even worry if can attract talent into politics. What the fish! Come on,a talent would have made comparison, being a minister here beats being US president. Where got talent dun want to come into politics?
Really seriously, make a comparison between the headlines. Seriously, our media is tongue tied. That night on the news, they spend 16 Mins talking about the ministerial pay cut and even worry if can attract talent into politics. What the fish! Come on,a talent would have made comparison, being a minister here beats being US president. Where got talent dun want to come into politics?
random thoughts for the day
1) i woke up late this morning. i went back to sleep after turning off the alarm.
2) managed to reach at the same time, minus my make up and all the what what cream, plus the gulping down of coffee in three big mouth, minus watering plants.
3) i finally finish july 2011 issue of reader's digest! (applause) can't wait to start on aug issue.
4)was reading about sex slavery in USA. the young girls were made to have sex with more than 20 men a day, that average out to 1 per hour.....mmmm thoughts......
5) my fortune cookie (given by a colleague) says i'm going to have the best day ever! it better be true.
6) i experienced a bout of STM just now, almost scolded people wrongly. They were baffled, so am I. (at myself) sigh, well, this is me.... take me as i am and appreciate me.
2) managed to reach at the same time, minus my make up and all the what what cream, plus the gulping down of coffee in three big mouth, minus watering plants.
3) i finally finish july 2011 issue of reader's digest! (applause) can't wait to start on aug issue.
4)was reading about sex slavery in USA. the young girls were made to have sex with more than 20 men a day, that average out to 1 per hour.....mmmm thoughts......
5) my fortune cookie (given by a colleague) says i'm going to have the best day ever! it better be true.
6) i experienced a bout of STM just now, almost scolded people wrongly. They were baffled, so am I. (at myself) sigh, well, this is me.... take me as i am and appreciate me.
Thursday, January 05, 2012
Taxis
I know that taxis have poorer business now and they tend to drive slower to try to catch passengers by the road.
But u want to drive slow, u drive on the left lane lah!!! What the fish! And I had to meet two of such taxis!
But u want to drive slow, u drive on the left lane lah!!! What the fish! And I had to meet two of such taxis!
Max
Max had to remind us, it's six thirty. Because we leave at 630 am and we were all still doing our own stuff. Actually I know why he tell us the time, it's not that he is sweet to remind us to go to school, it's because he's waiting for his Gor Gor to go to school so that he can take over the place at the sofa.
He's still cute.
He's still cute.
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
1st post for 2012
It is the 4th day of 2012, how have your 4 days been?
I thought I have so many things to say, but apparently, I'm dumbfounded now.
Really, keep deleting. Mayb I'm just not in the mood. Sorry I have to start 1st post on a sad note.
Really sucks feeling especially today is 4th. The 4th day of each month is
Important and special to me.
I thought I have so many things to say, but apparently, I'm dumbfounded now.
Really, keep deleting. Mayb I'm just not in the mood. Sorry I have to start 1st post on a sad note.
Really sucks feeling especially today is 4th. The 4th day of each month is
Important and special to me.
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