Wednesday, February 27, 2008

blogging for the sake of blogging is sad. am vexed, many things to do but dunno where to start, also dunno if worth doing or not... that kind of feelings sux.

i'm just looking forward to Krabi trip next thursday. good break from Singapore.

Monday, February 18, 2008

i was so inefficient during weekend. but then, it's the weekend, i really dun feel like doing any work mah.

Friday, February 15, 2008

i want to disown Max. Until now still dunno how to call mummy. he calls everybody except me. even he knows how to call 'tin', the maid.

so last nite, when i carry him and put him on the bed.... he keeps calling 'tin' 'tin' 'tin', i got so fed up, scolded him. well, i spoke to him in a very loud voice. told him that i went thru c-section for nothing, had him for 9 months for nothing.

then his tears welled up and he cried. papa has to carry him and comfort him.

anyway, didn't have a good sleep last nite. heartache. until now when i'm blogging, i'm crying. so painful when your own child dun want to call you. should have given him away when he was born, save me the heartache now.

i'm not speaking to Max for the next few days. angry with him, haven't got over. He hurt me really bad. this, i think i owe him one.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

hmmm, 2 things.
heard on the news last night that the monthly household income for Singapore has increased by 10%, the average household income is $6,000 plus.

Where do they get that information?????????????? how many percent of the household is below that average figure that they give? do they have the figure?????? Then they talk about the bridging the gap between the poor and the rich.... great, that leaves the middle income group people no where.... come on, if your household income is $4k plus, you are neither too poor to qualify for anything nor too rich as the average figure in Singapore is $6k plus. Hate this stuck in the middle kind of feeling.

must put on record that i want to thank my sister and my auntie for extending a helping line this month. It's like you are stuck at the bottom of the well, then some people are kind enought to let down the rope to give you a helping hand. Not like some other people, instead of letting down a rope, they throw a stone down at you and leave you deeper in the shit. so i'm really grateful to my sister and auntie. really appreciate their act. They are the ones who made me feel the real meaning of family.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Wall Street finished mostly higher Tuesday after billionaire investor Warren Buffett offered to help out troubled bond insurers, easing some of the market's concerns about further deterioration in the credit markets. The Dow Jones industrials rose more than 130 points

see, a really wealthy man... once he says something, what he says has an effect on the stock market, including Asia markets!!

he's damn filthy super rich...

wish i can have the same effect...'billionaire Sandra...blah blah blah...' haha, dreaming....

still in school, trying to catch up with my marking, thinking of my children at home.... esp Max! so cute.
marking and listening to music at the same time, long time dun have this luxury... luxury of listening to music and enjoying it, though i can minus the marking. imagine, so busy until no time to enjoy music. being able to mark in school is also a luxury for me...

Monday, February 11, 2008

grandma is not doing fine lately.
Since jan 31, she has been in and out of the hospital 3x already.
1st time: NUH, main artery blocked. did ballooning. major heart attack, was lucky to survive.
2nd time: blood sugar too low. was slurring. was admitted as afraid it was 2nd heart attack. short stay, discharged on new year's eve
3rd time: pneumonia. still in hospital now.

went to see her yesterday. just nice it's lunch time. fed her some porridge and watermelon. she is so weak.
ever since her major heart attack, her heart has been very weak. I juz wonder how long she is going to survive all these ordeals and when she is not going to survive. it's not that i'm heartless and wishes that she dies, i juz feel that, it's less painful for her and less painful for her relatives to see her like that. really pains my heart to see her suffering at this age and yet there is nothing we can do to relieve her pain.

so it's not a bad idea to go. moreover, my grandma, being a staunch Christian, i believe that when she dies, she will definitely by up there with God. Oh yah, btw, when she was in critical condition in ICU the first time in hospital, she saw her angel.

anyway, i believe things happen for a reason. last time my mum's side of family don't really understand when my mil was in and out of hospital and the mental stress that a family face when a family member is critically ill. so now perhaps it's god's way of letting them learnt a lesson. Watching a family member so critically ill, you will tend to see light many things, especially money. i always believe, when we are born, we come with nothing. when we die, we will bring nothing. These eight words (in Chinese) has been carved in my mind since late last year. Of course, i was angry and unhappy when my husband's business was 'cheated' of 10k of his profit, but i know there is retribution and i can see it happening already. i rest my case.
anyway, i wish her all the best.
so darn busy at work before cny and after cny

so during cny, my mind literally took off 3 days. started working on sunday, the day just before school reopens.

now back at work, what can i say, so darn busy and dunno why put in so much.

cny just comes and goes so fast, no mj, so boringggggggggggggggggg! but lots of people come to my house this year, my house became the headquarter. it's funny how people can judge you by the house you own. this year, suddenly so many relatives come and visit my mother in law and father in law. it's actually a good feeling, no need to rush to go out, just stay at home and wait for people to come.
lucky, went marketing with mil before cny, stock up enough food to cook for guests.
oh yah, talking about food, i've never bought 1kg $68 worth of fish. it's only 8 pieces of fish. this is the kind of fish that teochew people eat, once a year only during cny. my mil fried it. very delicious. i'm not the eat fish kind of person, but 1kg $68, i make sure i savour every part of the fish including the eyes.

i also had a good time with my children. marcus had a good time catching up on his games, just check on him occasionally, he'll update you on his games.

had a good time with mabel, playing sudoku with her, painting nail polish, bathing for her and both of us had a good time playing with max too.

max is slowly progressing a little. he still can't say much thing except for papa, yeye, yiyi, Tin, jiejie, mum mum (for eating). he still refuses to call mummy. but i think i heard him sound something like 'sandra'. i've passed the job of teaching him say 'mummy' to mabel. the jie jie will train him.

as usual, he's fun to be around with. although he doesn't pronounce much words, he has a way to express himself. if he wants you to sit beside him to play the toys with him, he'll point to the floor and ask you to sit down. he'll know when is the time to go out, he'll go and bring his own shoes. you will pull your leg to indicate that he wants you to follow him. and yesterday when i bring him to the market, he was suddenly like very close to me. refuse to come down to walk, wants me to carry him, then he'll hug you, play with your hair, just place his head on your shoulder.
some manager from nokia sent me an email saying i won a million pounds. this is my reply to the manager:

Hi Mr Manager,

too bad, i'm situated at a remote part of world. I do not think it's worth my while to go to Europe to collect my prize. You can duly give the prize to some other fools.

regards
lucky winner/lucky fool