new haircut i got.

nose is worse by the chemicals used. someone pls, cut off my nose.

amazing... that's all i can say

having a bad flu since xmas eve. started wif a stuck nose, yesterday turned into running nose. very bad running nose. when i was sleeping last nite, the mucus (is that how u spell it) can flow out. need to put the toilet roll beside the bed.

happy holidays!

it's true, i can never love again. this i will bear for the rest of my life and not forgetting ur sorrow, pain, hurt and sadness.

20th, 11, wat irony.

saved from devil's crossroad, i appreciate
luv, we experienced
memories, i will keep

pack of lies, i should not have
empty promises, i should not have

i really appreciate, i do.
nothing said or done will make up the hurt, that's for sure.
sorry is not enuf, i know.

hell, i should go, not u.

i had a dream, think i dreamt about King Kong, got jostled out of sleep, looked at the time, 4am.

toss and turn, tried to get back to sleep, couldn't, looked at time again, 505am. ok, at least i can get up now, the spirits are making their way back to the gates of hell...

so now here i am, wif my pc, wif my blog and my mind.

well, i have to say this abt marcus, he's damn good at pc games. cannot stand him.

today is the day. 12/12/2005. i RIP. the blog shall observe 3 days of silence.

not everything written in the blog is meant to be understood, duh!

mai-yah-he, mai-yah-ho, mai-yah-ha, mai-yah-haha

nothing to say, i juz zip my mouth, the best, views/expectations are different, no point pushing my point of view.

cut, cut, cut!

ipod is good, it lets u listen to songs.

listening to songs are good, cos when it hit the chord in ur heart, it helps u to cry.

crying is good, it lets u release the tension.

blog is good? i dunno. but reading his blog lets the tears flow. it flowed, uncontrollably, good. at least now i know wat can really make me cry. good, perhaps i deserve it.

dreams.... dreamt again last nite, dreamt abt yogurt spilling out, dreamt that in 2 more days it's CNY and the whole house is dusty and messy. anybody knows how to interpret dreams?

dreams

think i'm a workaholic, i actually dreamt abt work last nite and dreamt abt the students in my form class too. (wah!) juz dreamt that there are in class and i'm suppose to administer some mock exams! haha! think i miss working too much. crazy, can rest, dun rest.....

so much for dreams. career wise, think things are smooth sailing. dun ask for recognition or promotion, juz do my part and duty and be there for the students.

as for personal life, think not as smooth sailing and a failure. probably it's the end of the year where people have to reflect on their past and grade their own personal life. definitely need time to sort out my thinking and mess. the outcome will be unpleasant, defintely.

from now on

i've never meant to hurt u. maybe u r right, it's harder and harder to understand me. our paths seem to have detoured to different paths.

almost forgot my blogger id and password, that is how long i have not updated my blog.

new things may not mean good, with new things means new adjustments.

holidays may not be a good thing also, everybody thought u r so free and basically i have no schedule to follow, so i'm very aimless. been playing xbox games lately, now i know where marcus got his genes, me! i can play on the console, non-stop for at least 3 hours.

ever have that feeling of wanting to cry but there are no tears? it's the same as when u eat very full and want to burp, but juz couldn't burp, the feeling is awful. yeah, the feeling is awful, thought that at least thru crying, can feel better, but no tears. can't cry hard enough.

also suddenly had this thought while i was sad. mayb finding anybody, get married, leading a watever life is not that bad after all. ping ping dan dan.

well, on a happy note, i'm happy becos i dun have to wake up so early and it's a really good break.

new car

well, the smell of the interior of a new car is indescrible.

well driving a new car is of course shiok. the only thing is the body kit is not installed for me, bit disappointed. they will install for me when i next go for servicing.

the number plate..... it's of course SGA (Singapore Great Asshole). hmmm, when i strike 4d, then i'll divulge the number.

Himer Part 2
The Revenge of Himer with a vengence

remember himer? remember 28th June 2005?

know something....? the expected date of delivery for bb is 28th June 2006. That's why i say the revenge of himer. or should i say, what is yours is yours.

anyway, this morning when i woke up, i juz had a funny feeling about the date 28th June. cos according to my crude estimation, it should be due late june or early july. then the dat 28th June crept into my mind. 2866, nice number.

btw, my picanto is ready for collection tomorrow. *glowing with glee*

roaches part 2

this is it, i'm officially declaring war on the roaches in my house!

after buying those 'wipe out' thingy, placed them in the strategic locations in the kitchen. well, it kind of worked. roaches were less seen, except for one very bold one, which ventured out in broad daylight. but i killed that one by suffocating it wif insecticide.

that nite, think it's a fri or thurs nite, can't rem, in the room wif kids.... saw one roach scampering across the floor, that's it! ban m&m from eating food in the room while they are playng pc.

also on either of these nites, i found one roach in the bedroom.

the ultimate came this morning! i opened my wardrobe to get a dress and what did i see on the inside of one of the doors of the wardrobe???? A ROACH STARING AT ME! i didn't kill this one, i'm afraid of roaches.

so, i started devising schemes to rid the roaches.

1) buy more wipe out thingy to place in the rooms

2) check my maid's cabinet for food stuff tonite and in event if i found any, well, i'll definitely scold.

3) sprayed insecticide at all possible holes (what are those holes called which water seeped through)

4) i'll armed myself wif a slipper wherever i walked in the house, so that i can kill when spotting any roaches.

ok, so i repeat myself, i'm officially declaring war on roaches in my house.

pregnancy and constipation

(this is copied and pasted from my sis blog) sorry sis, never ask ur permission, but i really found this interesting. of course, edited to prevent uhmm, embarrassment and protect privacy.

hey.. just 2 cents worth of advice for people who suffer from constipation..natural delivery of child is the same as trying to do big biz with BAD constipation....often watch those movies.. where the gynae will go.. "breathe in.... and PUUUSSSHH...."? yup!! apply the SAME method to doing biz.. and i am sure everything will come out in a breeze!! why is constipation the same as pregnancy...?

1) u store the shit in there for 9 days (9 mths for a baby)
2) u feel the contractions coming and u know it's time to do it
3) the pain is so bad that you promise that's the last time you wanna go through something like that
4) u follow the die hard method of "breathe in... and PUSSSSSHHHH...."
5) u feel it coming out of you... sliding out...
6) u feel the satisfaction thereafterand the cycle repeats itself many times..

everytime you feel Point 6.. Point 3 becomes null and invalid...

(this is from me)
so for those people who do not go thru constipation, pls, i beg of u, pls, no natural birth.

It's not autism

found this on the website, need to find an explanation for my moodiness:

Withdraw From The World
This is nature's way of making us withdraw from the world. ‘You only need to look at what animals do and how they care for their young to understand why this happens,’ says Maryon. ‘It's normal to feel a strong urge to prepare for your baby.’

Wild Mood Swings
You may also find you get easily upset, particularly during the early stages of pregnancy. Don't worry. This is partly because pregnancy is such a major event in a woman's life, and partly due to a surge in your hormone levels that causes you to cry over little, unimportant things. And, of course, you may also be very tired, which can be quite enough to make you irritable and weepy.

ok, so much said. make some sense

kao, GAL

this is with regards to work, but i'll juz be very general here, i know there are spies reading blogs.

problems/issues happened, u were angry, fine, u made ur point, u got ur way. but honestly u were not very polite about it. anyway, u got ur way. that was yesterday. issue solved.

today.... must u bring it up again? must u go ard telling other people wat happen yesterday? Kao, GAL. dun dwell on yesterday, u won yesterday, so going ard to trumpet ur victory? when u talked to me juz now, i hope that u can see that i'm very disinterested in carrying on the conversation wif u. becos to me, the damn issue is over, then why bring it up again? the worse thing is u must go ard telling other people. pal, one advice (even tho u may not read it) GAL, MOVE ON!

final countdown?

ever had that strange feeling in the morn when u woke up that something big is going to happen today? well, i did, this morning. mentally preparing myself for that big showhand. in the mean time, i shall not think so much.

people say

some say i'm shutting up myself. i'm not replying emails, i'm not communicating. see, maybe they r right, i really cannot find the words to continue anymore. perhaps this is hidden autism, now developing.

some thought that i've a sickness, because i'm easily tired, always eat and sleep and then always feeling cold, even with juz the fan on, juz like a drug addict. Kao! pls..... yah, i'm addicted to sleep.

really can't continue anymore, i really can't find the words to communicate anymore.

movies and shows

watched channel U, 9pm show last nite. show about how this guy met into bad guys on a particular day and how he had to assist them in their bad doings. wat sets me thinking was, before this incident, he and his gf juz quarelled, they thought that each of them didn't do enuf for each other.

but in the end, he really loved her. he doesn't know how to swim, despite this, he dived down to save his gf who is in the car. after saving his gf, as he ran out of breath, he couldn't swim to the top. no matter how his gf pulled him, he juz couldn't move. worse still, the car crashed on his leg. anyway, in the end, he died. it was really a sad ending. why do they have to wait until they lose it then they know that they really loved each other?



this show is nice. juz felt that it is sad, when 2 people go thru so much, and in the end, when the lady woke up from her coma, she couldn't remember who he is... he had to walk away. well, luckily the show ended nicely.



this is another nice show. juz wondering wat if u know that ur life is going to end soon? andy lau who acted as the male lead, he was lucky to have a second chance. he was lucky to have met his wife a 2nd time (tho juz met her heart) he could make it up to her. but how many of us would be able to have this 2nd chance to make it up? how many of us would be able to have a 2nd chance to say 'i love u' again?

my mood swings

ok, i can feel that my hormones are changing, if u know wat i mean. one day i can be moody, another day i can be happy.

as for food, if i dun eat soon in the morning, i feel like throwing up. after eating, feels so bloated, can't even sit properly, it's like u can feel the bottom of ur stomach touching ur thighs, gross. any sitting position will result in backache after 30 mins, that's when u start fidgeting.

tired, i'm still easily tired. panting after climbing flights of steps.

wah

1) thanks to sis and adrian

2) everyone living on earth is somehow a hypocrite. everyone living on earth will bound to go thru ups and downs. well, juz so happen that i'm damn down now, so bug off, it's the best. i dun want to hurt anybody wif my moodiness, dun want to drag others down wif my moodiness. Juz leave me alone is the best.

i'm sick and tired

do not call me or sms becos i'm sick and tired of life.

1) i get tired easily. juz to show u how tired i can get, after dinner, 8 something, or 9pm. sat on sofa, watching tv, i can fall asleep unknowingly
2) in the afternoon, needed a nap so badly, put my head on the table, slept almost instantaneously from 2.48 - 3.00pm.
3) any position is horrible, whether sit, stand or lay down.
4) interests in many things were killed. no interest to log on to pc at home, no interest to continue my cross stitch, no interest to even touch my hp, no interest and no inspiration to take pictures.

but i still have to continue with work, with life. today is a long day from 6am-4pm. i'm dead tired. i dun feel like moving.

so dun sms me or call me, i will juz probably ignore the calls and sms.

sampan in the middle of the ocean

this analogy came to me suddenly:

i'm like a sampan in the middle of the ocean, suddenly this big wave came and turn me upside down. as i struggle to grasp the reality, struggle to turn my boat upright, i knew my destination, i knew i had to head for the shore. but i also knew that the journey will not be easy.

more thoughts

i suddenly remembered, for renovating for my new house, i got nothing from the family, only some designing help. company didn't help me to source for cheaper carpenters etc. all of u left the company becos of ur conflict wif ur brother. i had to depend on my own, and becos of that, i had to borrow for the renovation of my house. i'm still paying my ass off for the loans if u know.

stop asking me to go and buy condo. i don't have the money.

is it becos i've bought 2 new computers for m&m and i'm going to buy a new car that u have this kind of thinking? then wat abt cousin? when cousin bought a new car, didn't u also tell me to change a new car? her the other half gets to drive the company van back, while my the other half was working for the company, did he get this privilege? u want to dig out my past 30 years, then let me dig out the past 8 years since i got married.

when u wanted to go for tour, u ask us if we could subsidise, did we say no?

nvm, i'm angry now. i shan't say anymore.

i don't even know what title i should give this posting.

fell out wif mum. It's abt money matters, abt some family matters. (except for my dear sis, who will always be my sister and my friend, and of course her the other half, adrian) i had to walk off wif my family, i couldn't stay otherwise we would have definitely quarrel. i couldn't say that i'm officially through wif the family, juz that i've made up my mind, no more family gatherings for me for the time being. i've had enough of pretence, i've had enough of being hypocritical. yes, i'll stop going for family gatherings. if it's abt money matters, tell me, i'll return every single cent. (but honestly, i didn't receive any email) i hate people to accuse me. yah, u must have think that i'm very thick skin. but i'm not. if i would have known, i would not have gone to grandma's birthday celebration in the first place.

i'm not angry, i'm juz sad, cried all the way from amk to punggol. it hurts when it comes from ur mum. nvm, all the more now, i know that i'm alone. i've really decided that some family members cannot be depended on anymore. i have to stand on my own, no matter watever problems i have in the future. i know that now i only have m&m.

i'm officially stating here that i'll not be talking to my mum for the next few months, probably until next year.

Lashing out at xiaxue.blogspot.com

i actually didn't want to say anything. the newspaper report came out last week about her views on using handicapped toilet. this week, the report was how stubborn she was.

ok, what i was trying to say that u dun have to change ur views on using the handicapped toilet. u can still stick to ur views on using the handicapped toilet. but do u have to be so mean in ur comments towards these people? do u have to say things like, 'u only lose a leg but ur bladder is working fine.'? have u put yourself in their shoes? yes, so wat if their bladder is working well? have u considered their feelings that they had lose a leg? do u ever know the orderal they go thru? must u be so mean to add on to their wound? wat if u lose one leg and one hand? wat if u lose ur breast? how would u feel and then a young lady comes around and say something like 'u juz lose a breast, but ur bladder is working fine, isn't it?'

u can continue to use the handicapped toilet, wat the public is furious is your inconsiderate, stubborn, irresponsible and rude comments to the handicapped? juz becos u r able bodied and healthy and young, u think u can make these remarks? can someone pls knock some sense into this young lady? i couldn't even call u a lady, u r far too immature for that. grow up, kid.

rainy friday

thought i was over wif my negativity, but the week has to end on a rainy note. well, in one way it was good, like the cold weather, but in the morning, it was so chilly, esp after u walked to the bus stop without the umbrella and got some droplets of rain the body.

anyway, i have not told u abt the roaches in my kitchen. it has been some time that i observed that whenever i go to my kitchen in the night, there was bound to be one roach somewhere, not the big ones, but small, mini ones. as i was afraid of roaches, i usually avoid them or ignore them. the ultimate came when one night, i was in the kitchen, i saw 4 roaches! (mini ones) god, so the next night (why next night? becos my roach exterminator is not at home) i took the insecticide and sprayed at every possible corner i could lay my hands on. after that, u see these roaches all crawling out. i must have used half the bottle, poisoned them. anyway, roach exterminator came to the kitchen and helped to hit the roaches. on the first nite, at least 10 roaches.

on the 2nd nite, as i was walking to the kitchen, i saw this roach on the children's table which was outside the kitchen! ok, nvm, ignore them. the 2nd time, i saw the roach on the table, i knew i had to exterminate it.... so sprayed the hell out of the roach. again, roach exterminator came to collect the body. 2nd nite of mission, killed 2 rooches.

last nite, i had a dream abt roaches, big ones, in every corner of the house. had to sprayed them wif insecticide.

i will continue wif my 3rd nite of mission tonite.

dun ask me where these roaches come from, i'm as curious. we seldom cook.

anyway, irritated now becos stomach is bloated and i feel like puking. hate this feeling. think i'll go to the toilet to dig and puke it out, once and for all.

digital imaging

today's papers talk abt digital imaging, showed about 4 pictures, how acne can be removed, six packs added, breasts enhanced, flat hair became fuller hair, how the hair is tinged in colour, how facial fats can be reduced, how a nose can be sharpened. the images after editing certainly looks nice, of course, the person look so glamorous, so perfect.

but in reality, can we have such perfect person, wif a perfect complexion, wif a perfect figure? probably yes, u can say, some celebrity, one in particular i can think of, a taiwanese celebrity, but i'm not going to mention name here least i be sued. do you know the amount of $$ she has to spend on her body juz to look perfect? yes, no doubt, she looks good, great, every man's dream, but can we bring all these with us when we died? what becomes of you when u die? bones.... nobody will be able to see ur perfect body, nobody will be able to see ur big breasts, nobody will be able to see ur perfect complexion.

digital imaging juz brings the word hypocritical to a deeper level of meaning. maybe, perhaps, i'm saying all these to console myself that i cannot be the perfect one with the perfect figure, perfect complexion, juz let me be.... consolating myself

that's why taking pictures of nature is good. u capture it at its best. the pictures that i've shown so far, no enhancement. it is as raw as u see it. natural beauty.

sorry, i dunno what has come over me today, i juz feel so ..... well, juz sharing my feelings. people say blogging is for insecure people, probably... i'm for one who refuses to open my mouth to share my inner feelings, i guess blogging is an avenue for me to release my feelings. whether i'm insecure or not, that's for me to know, for u to find out. I AM ME!

my list

if nothing goes wrong, then i guess, by next jul or aug, i should have completed my list too

more pictures

ok, let's start from this one...

this was taken becos it was nice, passerbyswill not understand, the fact that they made comments goes to show how shallow they have been. i dun deny i used to be shallow too, until now with camera and photos, it opened up my eyes and mind to beauty, to nature.



and this was taken during one of the sunset, at punggol, the new housing estate. it was told to me that this is a good scenery to capture as the sun cast shadows on the flat, but i think i 'screwed' the beauty of the scenery





then brought students out on a heritage trail, one of the pics of Haji Fatimah Mosque. according to the guide, this tower was leaning and it's like the mini leaning tower of pisa in singapore.



while waiting for the bus, bored, so took some pics of the clear sky.



there were 2 other places we went to, but pictures taken too common

next, mirror image?


next, capturing flowers perhaps not my strength, practising a few shots to get better pic.


again the sky, in this pic, u can see 3 things, the sky, the clouds, 2 different types of trees


remember my previous posting abt the storm and how the day is brighter after the storm. this is 2 pictures taken, the clouds are juz so fluffy and so much of them.






and this was taken juz randomly, there are a few pics, but i too tired to edit and put it up, so choose the best one to represent



ok, that's all....

magic bean plant

ok, some shots of the bean plant. from the beginning till now, there are leaves sprouting out. so now, i need to find a mini jack to climb up the beanstalk... haha.

equation

someone told me 1+1=2 and 1+1=11. i will come up with a 3rd one, 1+1=1.

seems like 1+1=2 may not happen in the near future.

1+1=11, it seems like it, but it never really happen, in reality, it can never be 11. i never have the best of both worlds, becos i'm losing either one of them. last evening was the devastation part where reality sinks in. on one hand, the wrath was incurred, on the other hand, princess has chosen not to return to her kingdom despite the queen's attempt to get her back. No, princess didn't even give queen a chance to talk, the princess juz cried, you had to let her go to give her happiness. standing in the middle of the fountain at bugis, with so many people ard you, u juz feel so alone and the reality slowly but surely sinks in. there was never the best of both worlds, i was juz a fool as well. hence, 1+1=11 has been proven wrong.

1+1=1.... think this is more likely now. the time to decide between 11 and 1 seems to be getting nearer. that's why i say 1+1=1. anyway, at this point of time, i've lose my inspiration for blogging, becos i was distracted with duties and responsibilities. damn it.

anyway, before i end, while 1+1=1 seems to be the equation now, we should also work towards proving 1+1=2.

28th October

It has been 4 months since 28th June. remember himer? himer should be abt 24 weeks.

anyway, that's not my point for this posting...

it was raining so heavily at night. i dun deny the effects of a storm and the bright sky after the storm, depends on wat angle u wat to look at.

my feelings is like the drizzle now. juz keeps on pattering inside my heart, not heavy pattering, light pattering, making the whole mood so gloomy and solomn.

i will never forgive myself for not giving her happiness when i could have it. just a thought, there will be many in your life whom u can give happiness when u could but didn't. Are you also not going to forgive yourself? anyway, juz for thoughts.... I REPEAT, juz for thoughts

some updates

so many days didn't update already.

1) i have more pictures i'm waiting to upload, akan datang

2) given this magic bean stalk to grow, cool product... have taken pictures also, will upload, akan datang

3) m&m have a computer of their own. they have been busy playing games on their pc for the past few days. juz some observations: marcus is very good at playing games, very agile, great co ordination skills. but have to limit him. mabel, not as good at playing, and not so sure, always asking for help from gor gor. but she's not as addicted as marcus.

4) yesterday afternoon was raining so heavily. the dark clouds came, or should i say black clouds, it was like hurricane coming, the wind was very strong. the lightening and thunder was frightening, juz like the ones shown in 'War of the Worlds'. when the rain comes, it was so heavy that even if u r standing in the shelther, u would still be wet from head to toes. imagine how strong the wind is, a closed window can be blown open by the wind. as usual, many trees around sg was uprooted, even very big trees. a mini hurricane?

but wat really caught me was after the rain. the sky after the rain was simply stunning. the sky is so blue, the clouds were so fluffy and white, it makes a good picture. i really understood the chinese saying of a clear sky after the storm. it juz suddenly came to me that yah, sometimes in life, we may be weathering the worst storm of our life, but u can be assure that after the storm, the sky will be brighter. i guess it takes the storm for me to appreciate the blue sky which comes afterwards. i never have so much appreciation for the nature, but yesterday, i was juz in awe.

5) NEVER EVER TRY TO TAKE OUT YOUR KEYS FROM YOUR BAG/POCKET WHILE WALKING OUT OF THE LIFT!

yesterday i was juz doing that, never did i expect that i would drop the key and it landed THROUGH that little gap between the door and the lift, if u know wat i'm saying. i was like, 'oh shit, there goes the key.'

but funny, i wasn't really upset, i juz went to find the extra keys that i had. guess i was distracted with my thinking which was why i wasn't paying attention to wat i'm doing. so pls learn from my mistake. luckily i only lose my house keys, the rest of the keys are in separate bunches.

nvm, the sky will be brighter after the storm.

change blog address

i was so upset this morning that i almost wanted to delete away my blog. then on more self-control, i decided to hold. maybe next time i will juz change my blog address, juz like my sister.
yah, should have learnt from my sister, juz be brave and give up everything on the blog and start a new blog.

it was a cold morning... yah, juz right, fits my mood and feelings. cold from the inside of my heart, cold on the outside, in hokkien, dao. maybe i'll juz shut up in my blog for the time being.

wednesday

today is juz a bad day, things were juz not as smooth. i really dunno wat else is there to say. but all the things that happen today, i juz realise one thing:

you cannot please everybody

i hate myself, i hate my life

sorry

this has to drag on becos of my indecisiveness, becos of my insensitivity. i dun want to wear u out, u are right, one day it will happen, this road will either come to an end or start a brand new journey.

how to measure if i'm ready or not? perhaps u know when i'm ready or not ready, honestly i dunno. i can't even tell the difference now, if i'm ready or not.

why? last week was fine, why is this week like that?

the pics are too big

sorry, as said, i didn't do the editing and it turned out that the pictures are too big. not using my pc, so didn't want to linger too long on d's laptop. well, looking at things from the positive side, the pics are BIG, u can scrutinise mabel and marcus carefully.

Mabel the princess

ok, edited some of the pics for Mabel's b-day party. well, of course with the help of someone else, must acknowledge that this is not my work, my effort.... anyway, don't u all feel that Mabel is like a little princess, she is so sweet that day....

Mabel's birthday

it was mabel's birthday yesterday, had the celebration on saturday, but i could not post the pics now becos the pics need some editing. i'll post them up once i'm done wif the editing... (god, i hope i dun take ages)

some pics on holland village:



this building was built in 1832





this two pics, a particular tree in holland village... no special reasons, juz look up and took pictures of the pic, it's quite fun.... onlookers can't understand why i do that.... i guess it's looking at things from a different perspective. and the pics turn out ok....





all these pics, took some at labrador park, some at kent ridge park, beautiful sunset... but i'm not in the right mood now to elaborate further.. so enjoy the pics

juz a pic to show the sunflowers i was talking about:



then today, got a bit of inspiration, theme: pErsPecTiVe

fresh flowers

juz a thought.. fresh flowers are very nice when fresh, and it always gives the lady a surprise and bring smiles to her when she receive ones....

but then after a few days, at the most a week... the flowers die... it's kind of sad, then u try to salvage watever u can.... it's kind of sad to see such nice things withered away... and there is nothing u can do...

well, u can say hang the flowers upside down, but not all flowers are able to do that..... makes me think and relate flowers to a person's life....

so nice when young, fresh, wanted, admired by people.... but as u grow older and wither, if u dun take care of yourself, u become unwanted, not nice, people squirm to look at u... no wonder so many older woman, esp in the West, are going for plastic surgery when they reach a certain age.... (juz realise, have to be careful not to mention names, as now blogging can also be sued if u say the wrong thing on ur blog)

that brings me to another point... why must we always be politically correct? at work place, u must know wat to say and wat not to say, now blogging also.... must be careful of wat u say... why is it that people (again, cannot refer to a specific noun, lest i be sued) like to restrain people? well, i do understand that there must be some kind of laws, rules and regulations... but... blogging was initially supposed to be a platform where people can say about wat they feel....

u can say people misuse the platform, but i seriously dun think it was that serious to be called up to court... anyway, it has always been like that. rules after rules so that people can conform to a certain mould, and if u dun conform, they come out wif more rules....

sometimes, people say i spoil my children by letting them do watever they want... well, now u know why.... becos i feel that when they grow up, they will restrained by so many rules... it's not that i totally spoil them... i juz let them sleep at the time they want to sleep, no forcing of 9pm, go and sleep now.. if they dun like to go to church, then dun go. if they dun like to eat, wants to eat bread for dinner, let them be, who says that we cannot eat kaya toast for dinner? who says that kaya toast is only for breakfast? as long as they eat.

another week is gone

last week was crazy, this week is even more crazy, becos the deadline for so many things is 7th Oct. well, i'll juz take one day at a time...

know something, while i'm blogging this post, i'm actually waiting in queue to print worksheets on the risograph. and i juz finish my fried bee hoon, doing all 3 at the same time. my colleague who is printing now is lamenting that the risograph is not fast enuf for us... haha, poor risograph.

anyway, last nite, sis treated us to marina south bbq as her b-day was this coming Thursday. Happy birthday, sister! thanks for the treat.

had an observation last nite, we all know the thing is $12 per adult, then there were many frens from Malaysia and China who was there eating. Last nite was more of family, not so much of young people. if it were a Fri or Sat, i bet there are a lot of young people.

ok, my turn to use the risograph, had to stop... otherwise other people jump queue.

3rd day and i'm surviving

3rd day and i'm surviving the hectic-ness of work. work cannot finish.. hmm, funny, doesn't feel so uptight. juz let it be.... deadline... well, then see how i'll be dead.

my ears have been very itchy lately, dig ears also no ear wax.... funny....

i'm getting sleepy..... looks like 6 hours of sleep is not enuf for me.... think i'm getting lazy and fat, haha.... time to slim down....

what a crazy week this will be

juz to blog down for memories:

mon - staff contact time
tues - briefing at moe
thurs - department meeting
fri - another meeting

plus this week, extra classes every day becos the exams r next week. for those who know hougang will know wat i'm talking about, can't possibly blog it down here.

i dunno how i will die... or should i say survive.... let me see, should i die standing or die lying down or die sleeping? ha, juz for thoughts

i dunno wat else i can say, wat else i can do.....i dunno y u suddenly like that.... wat have i done?

should we quarrel? should i juz keep quiet? i really dunno... it's getting harder and harder to communicate....

hope the pictures can mean something:

perhaps u r right, i will never be there for u, can never be here for u....

u and me... our similarities....



the memories



and most of all....



if all these mean nothing... or it's not enuf, then i dunno....

wedding dinner

last nite went to an old fren's wedding dinner. it was a good time for old frens like us to gather. after so many years, funny, people change, (physically) feelings change (not young anymore), some people are not there anymore, some people have new people added.

as we were catching up wif old times, those people who juz joined in, (esp the new gfs or the new wives of some old frens) could not join into the conversation of our good old times.... for me, it was kind of sad that some people were not longer with our group. will i become one of these people someday?

anyway, M&M really enjoyed themselves at the wedding dinner. though they do not eat much, they have frens there to play wif them. to them, it was something new. and marcus totally enjoy the experience. he said it was great. for mabel, as usual, some of the old frens (guys) were 'smitten' by her. she was like smiling at them, looking so cute.

anyway, think this should be one of the last wedding dinner that we had to attend... unless (according to mr tan) i remarry again.

Words

sometimes, too much words cloud up the mind. too much words makes people confuse.

sometimes, it's best not to say too much, or better still, nothing at all. but u wanted me to speak.

juz thought of this song: When you say Nothing at all (Ronan Keating). here's the lyrics.


It's amazing how you speak right to my heart ,
With out saying a word you could light up the dark ,
Try as i may i could never explain,
What i hear when i don't say a thing .

Chorus:-The smile on your face let me knowthat you need me ,
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me ,
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever i fall ,
You say it best when you say nothing at all ,

All day long i can hear people talking aloud ,
But when you hold me near ,
You drown out the crowd ,
Try as they may ,They could never define,
What's being said between your heart and mine


yah, i say it best, when i say nothing at all... cos words hurt. words can be inferred wrongly. but i guess again, actions... guess i've failed in this part too. forget it, the hurt has been done, nothing i say or nothing i do will be able to change anything, so wtf am i saying here?

juz some songs lyrics i saw...

Ronan Keating - Lost For Words
If I can't find the words...
Waiting for this feeling
That I'm drowning in to subside
You make me swim like a beginner
Like I'm new at life
All these words don't come easy
No they always seem to stop
There is awkward silence yeah
Anytime we talk

Oh but I wanna let it in
I wanna ease all your doubts
I keep trying to get it out
But if I can't find the words
To tell you what I'm feeling
Baby that don't mean
It don't mean that I don't feel it
I'm trying to tell you girl
But if you don't believe just look and see
My face says what you mean to me
When I can't find the words

I know I can send you flowers
To try to make my feelings clear
And girl I could hold you tight for hours
I wanna tell you what you're trying to hear

But I know sometimes I leave you so upset
Cos I got all these bits and pieces in my head
I know because I let you struggle with the things I haven't said

But if you don't believe just look and see
My smile says what you mean to me
When I can't find the words I
f I can't find the words

my weekend

weekend was good, i really had a good sleep, slept soundly

on sat nite, brought them to in laws' place. some RC event of taking lantern. well, receive the gift pack and of course, lantern for the children. all were present. went down to the coffeeshop to have dinner, juz as we were about to order our food, black out in the coffeeshop. it was a whole 10 mins before the lights came back. one big table, about 12-13 of us. well, glad that in laws are happy.

then on sun nite, it was my house. my mum, grandma and aunties came to my house for dinner. after cooking, we brought the food down to the roof top garden to have our dinner there. my sis, my children and her bf actually decorated the little pavilion, it was a great feeling, all sitting round the table and eating and catching up on old times. din realise i ate so many pieces of mooncake. so full after that.

well, they say after mid-autumn festival, it signals the end of summer and the beginning of autumn. autumn signals a time where all things should come to an end, juz like the leaves falling... juz gives a sad mood to everything. but i guess it's also a season where people grow up and become more mature. that's autumn.

powerful words on love

was juz scratching my head what to write for my blog, then someone shared with me some quotes, quite like a few, putting them here for everyone to see.

Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.
What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry? (This one cheem, takes me sometime to realise and understand)
The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else. (wah, this one read liao, heart pain)
Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.
If u love something...let it go. If it comes back to you its yours.... If it doesn't then it never was. (classic quote)
A kiss is just a kiss until u find the one you love. A hug is just a hug until its from the one ur thinking of. A dream is just a dream until u make it come true. LOVE is just a word until its proven to you. (how true!)

To realize The value of a sister: Ask someone Who doesn't have one.
To realize The value of ten years: Ask a newly Divorced couple. (i like this)
To realize The value of four years: Ask a graduate. (very true!)
To realize The value of one year: Ask a student who Has failed a final exam. (especially true!)
To realize The value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.
To realize The value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to A premature baby.
To realize The value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize The value of one hour: Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet. (true)
To realize The value of one minute: Ask a person Who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize The value of one-second: Ask a person Who has survived an accident (very true)
To realize The value of one millisecond: Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics

have fun pondering over these quotes!

picture paints a thousand words

some pics which i took, in my ipaq for a very long time... today manage to transfer them to pc, so i thought i might as well put it in the blog. some of them are taken from else where which i found interesting

some scenary pictures:

















water water everywhere





this was fun:


aeroplane...



My favourite two pics which i took: