Tuesday, March 29, 2005

@#&*

in case u wondered what is that, i'm cursing. yes, cursing.... i spent the past 1/2 hour blogging about the teaching profession but none of it was saved. guess it's not meant to be published.

anyway, the profession juz got worse and worse each day. juz want to say:

read sat's forum page, you'll know why

on sun, heard a NIE undergraduate killed herself becos she didn't pass the exam and they want her to pay back $70,000. where to find the $$$?

today, heard a fren is seeing a doc for depression and she is a teacher.

Monday, March 28, 2005

1st day of another week

well, i'm definitely feeling the blues, since this week is 1 day longer than the last week. nvm, will hold on, partly becos i didn't want this week to come, it signals a very very very busy month for everyone, teachers and students. i'm looking forward to 1) the Labour Day Holiday. this signals that exams are coming, can slow down a little. 2) once exams are here, i'll be horribly busy marking. till then, i'll look forward to my australia trip.

have been talking to marcus and mabel about the australia trip. know it's a bit early to tell them, but i can't contain my excitment.

oh, we usually sleep this way, daddy, mummy and marcus on the bed and mabel on the mattress placed beside the bed. on a sunday morning, mabel actually climbed up onto the bed and squeezed in between all of us. it was kind of squeezy but i like that, feels close to them. this is something no one else can share, family bonding.

to everyone out there, hope your monday blues are not as bad as mine, and hope everyone can have a happy day!

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

1st day of school

not exactly busy, but very tired, not used to it. legs ached from too much standing also. not used to getting up early too

and i told myself that after watching amzing race tonite, i want to go and sleep early, but then look where i ended up. need to do some surfing on the net. it's like tired, but dun want to go and sleep, it's like sleeping is a waste of time like that.

anyway, amazing race is amazing. rob and his partner actually came in 1st, they are really made up of survivor stuff.... this season is going to be exciting.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

NE seminar

went for NE seminar for two days. anyway, think there was some problems brewing in school, think i'm gonna kena when i go back to school. anyway, who cares.

politically speaking, i've gained insights to some NE issues, logically speaking, it's damn boring

Sunday, March 20, 2005

i'm going to Australia

so happy, went to NATAS fair today, booked to go australia in June. whole family is going, 4 of us, this time mabel comes along. and check this out, i'm going for 2 weeks. yes 14 days! 2 long weeks.

and we are only going to stay at Perth for 2N, then the rest of the 11 days, we are going to drive down... yah, farmstay. lovely....
i'll be counting down.....
sunday, last day of the school hols

ok, going to suntec later, not so much of the natas fair, but more of the study in aust exhibition. will be looking at some schools for my children. sorry, sg education system is good, i've no qualms, but there is a price to pay. children have no childhood. i want them to enjoy the sun, moon, sea, beach and fun, not juz study and study

tmr and tues will be having full day seminar, so won't be going to school, kind of like extending my school hols a little, no monday blues.... maybe wed blues....

gtg, all have changed except me

Friday, March 18, 2005

M&M are sick

they are both sick, fever, coughing and running nose. been quite tired these few nights looking after them. sponging them at nite and carrying marcus when he cries at nite. omg, wat a holiday!

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

so fast, mid week liao

ok, let's see.

on fri evening, took a coach bus to KL. well, didn't really shop there, it was more of a relaxing and sleeping vacation for me. i was so tired. on fri nite when i reached KL, went clubbing already. wow, the transvestite very chio. actually only 1 lah, the rest, average. partied till 3 am.

the next day, juz went shopping, bought 2 pillows for M&M. i actually wanted to buy a wig. since i have long hair, wanted to buy a short hair wig, highlighted red. but i didn't know that wig is so expensive, RM 199, some RM 220 or RM 330. and u have to take care of your wig, cannot anyhow leave it in the cupboard, u need to wash the wig, treat it like a real hair. didn't dare to try also, cos the sign says "trying, RM 5" wow! but it would be intersting to keep wigs as a hobby.

that nite didn't go partying, cos it was so darn hot and humid. stayed in the hotel lobby's lounge where there is cooling air con.

came back on sunday. then on monday, early in the morning, brought students to Batam. it was fun, students were well behaved, the only thing was travelling. easily, one journey can take up to 30 or 45 mins. if u want to go further, 1 hr plus. so i really appreaciate the transport network in singapore, no complaints.

i am quite tanned by the hot weather. it was very very very hot. i think singapore is the same.

Friday, March 11, 2005

yeah

well, i'm definitely looking forward to the break. although still got a lot of work to do, but it's a BREAK FROM SEEING THE STUDENTS!

i echo someone's sentiment, work is never ending.... that's very sad.
also someone said i'm very pessismistic. i think that is my nature, but over the years, i've learnt to suppress, becos people say u must be positive. as for me, i'll be optimistic for the world to see, but for my blog, let it be a place where i can express my inner thoughts.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

driven to desperation

guess the common topic now is the news on the tampines family. well, many have been said about them. why must he do it? the children are innocent... there are other ways out, why must he do it?

i do agree with what people say, but i have no comments on what he has done... this is his choice, he has chosen this path, although this path is not totally agreeable, but this is his choice, i respect his decision. as to whether he has done the right thing or not, we humans are not in the position to judge. Only the highest in watever religion, be it Christianity, Buddhism, Muslim etc can judge the human's err.

my concern is, what are the circumstances that drove him to such desperation? i mean we may never know the truth since all of them died. but if such circumstances can drive a man to such desperation, it can happen to any one of us. i think it's sad... very sad that the world has evolved to such a state.

people are used to working hard, saving up the money to buy the things they wanted. but now with such easy credit, people is now used to buy first and pay later. this is a very dangerous habit. the credit juz kept rolling and rolling and before you know it, you could not even pay the minimum amount and the banks start calling and chasing, driving a person to desperation.
pace of life wasn't so hectic in the past, everyone could keep his job. now with global competition, outsourcing and etc etc, if u dun keep up with your work, you are 'deleted'. so people feel the pressure to look hardworking at work, to be accustomed to be squeezed out of their energy, morale for work. the employers juz kept pushing and pushing. the workers juz keep going and going, if u fall out, you are left behind. u have to catch up. it's like you work so damn hard but you are not making enough money for your family. ALL THESE ARE MAKING PEOPLE LOSE HOPE IN LIVING!

maybe he was not so lucky to have friends and relatives to support him (mentally, morally) that was perhaps why he chose this path, to end it all. honestly, i dun think friends or relatives can support financially, but their moral support is important.

juz to end off, that's why i think LIFE SUCKS! you work so damn hard, but you look at your family commitments, you cannot quit your job becos if you do, u may not have the money to pay the loans, the children's education and so on. so u stick to your job for the sake of financial security. so there you go, get stuck in a routine, day in, day out, no life, no happiness. juz like the guy, what's the use of living? but you got to continue to live because you know that it's morally wrong to commit suicide, you know that there are people out there who care for you, so u got to learn to be strong and adapt. but not realising that you have reached your saturation point, so one incident can cause a person to snap!

for students, you think school sucks? wait till you come to the society. you can never graduate from society, but you can graduate from school, so what the heck you are complaining about?

Monday, March 07, 2005

it's 650 and i'm still in school

well, it's 650 in the evening. well, i'm in school since 630 this morning. so that means 12 hrs and 20 mins. well, many colleagues are still in school.

exhausted, mentally... pushing myself. have not eaten since morning, juz 1 chocolate and 1 biscuit, 2 mini spring rolls, 1 mini samosa, 2 pieces of triangular shaped bread. and today is monday only.

well, i dun mind if it's worth putting in so much effort. now the issue is 'is it worth it or not?'
i think i'm losing my children. they are not as close to me as i would like them to be. it was like at home, i'm still doing my work while they play. what hurts me most is mabel. She no longer comes to look for mummy when she falls down, when she wakes up, she also doesn't request me to be there for her. i think it's very sad.

i want to improve my relationship with my kids first. i'm sorry. children and students.... of course my own children comes first. if i'm not there for them at this time of their childhood, i'll never be there for them. and we last a life time wif our children.
tell me what is on their mind

what's wrong with some of the students? i really dun understand their behaviour in class. if they are so disinterested in studying, then pls drop out. u r not only wasting your time, but other people's time as well. u are an obstacle in class!

they say our students carry wif them a lot of burden. they bring their burden to school, we are supposed to understand them. Then wat about the teachers? we do have our burden and problems from home, but we are supposed to be more understanding towards them and accomodate them. then who is understands and accomodate the teachers?

the teachers can do so much to make the lesson interesting. students should not expect to teachers to do all the things, make them like the lesson, etc. wat about yourselves? dun u think u r supposed to make the teachers want to teach you? don't u think u r supposed to make the teachers enjoy teaching too? some of your attitudes, honestly, sucks.

if i have the power, i would have zap these students away and the remaining students and teachers will be happy. dun make life miserable for people juz becos your life is miserable!!!
GAL (Get A Life)

Sunday, March 06, 2005

it's 12 something and i'm marking the papers....

this is so pathetic, it's a sat nite and it's 12 something am, and i still have loads of papers to mark. think this is pathetic, think i'm pathetic also not to get myself out of this job....

tmr still got work to do and it's the weekend. i dunno, i've taken the stand that work is work, work should not be brought home to do, cos work is never ending... but it cannot be done. i think i get frustrated when i'm obliged to do something that i don't like to do.

WORK IS PATHETIC AND IT MAKES THE WORKER PATHETIC TOO!

Friday, March 04, 2005

what can i say?

nothing, as long as i'm still at my work place... there is nothing to say. now waiting to go home and see marcus and mabel.

poor mabel, fell down yesterday and got a cut on her forehead, so ugly already lah....then she keeps scratching herself, got to tell her to stop scratching. last nite slept wif her, she was like sitting up and trying to scratch her back, see she so poor thing, so this mummy offered to scratch her back for her ( i didn't scratch, i juz gently rub the skin to ease her of the itchness) haha, this mummy, scratch until she fell asleep. poor thing, she must be thinking why this mummy do things so half hearted one...

poor mabel, really gave her a good hug. oh yah, now and then, i keep checking my own hands for signs of chicken pox, juz in case to be on the safe side.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

chicken pox

mabel has got the chicken pox... think marcus will get it soon
dunno whether i will get it or not.....