Reality

yes, reality sucks.... and it will start to sink in slowly and when it sinks in... gosh, it's like a thousand knives stabbing you. No, you won't ask for the truth, you won't want to know the truth becos this will only add on to the pain.

i guess... i will still have to go on, no point to find out the truth. Happiness is in your own hands, no, not even your partner can bring that to you, to be happy for 24 hours a day, u need to depend on yourself. Yes, friends bring you relief from loneliness, partners bring you joy, children bring you joy but at the end of the day, when you are sleeping on your bed, who do you have? you and that bolster you are hugging, not your spouse, not your friends, not your relatives.

so how many nights have you cried? only the bolster knows. the bolster also doesn't tell anybody your secrets... you can cry and tell, your bolster will be there to 'absorb' (literally) all your tears and secrets.

i will not go back to make a brand new start, but if given the choice, i would remain single all my life. i can only look forward and start planning my brand new ending.