I don't know how to blog and i don't know where to start.

Not blogging about my mil complaining about the maids doesn't mean that there is no problem. truth is, i'm very tired. it is the dunno how many times she is telling us, the maid is rude to her. the maid talked back to her. the maid argued with her. the maid keep the coins she found in our pocket.

ok, i know my two maids are not perfect. The one from myanmar, she is not very hardworking, she shows people that she is hardworking. she is stubborn and refuses to change some of the ways. the 3 children cannot really get along with her. but she is honest and she returns the money she found in our pockets. she is kind at heart. when my mil and the indonesian maid does not get along, she becomes the middleman.

the one from indonesia, she is hardworking, she can look after my mil well, getting ready her medicine and pushing the commode to the toilet. she knows what my mil wants to cook and she knows how to season the food for dinner with my mil's instruction. my mil can at least communicate, or should i say scold her because my mil can speak to her in malay. but she has not been honest. she keeps the coins that she found in our pockets. she is also not honest with my mil, she has told lies to my mil before, and my mil hates people to lie to her.

i do not know who is depressed now. my mil has been unreasonable of late, or should i say from july onwards. the first big incident involved me. then from that day onwards, i try not to interfere too much into the maid's affair. since july, she has been quite unreasonable towards the maid. one simple example, at first, she wants her medicine to be served to her by 8pm. then after a few days, she scolded the maid for bringing the medicine to her so early. as the medicine caused her to be drowsy and she feels sleepy early. then after a few days, at 9pm, or 9 plus, when the maid didn't bring her the medicine, she scolded the maid for not doing so. ??? bring it to her too early, she got scolded, bring it to her too late, also got scolded.

at this point, it is not wise for me to interfere. oh yes, i rememberd, there was once, i tried to be the good person. i asked my mil whether she wants her medicine. she thought that the maid asked me to ask her. omg. from then on, i know i better dun interrfere.

so from july till now, it's about 2 months plus. from the time she woke up, she would scold the maid. sometimes, it's unreasonable, sometimes it's valid. to us, sometimes, we close an eye to some of the things the maid do. keep scolding also no use, as long as they do their duties well, certain things let go abit.

and to add on to the problem, my mil has got depression. we didn't want to stop her because she would turn things around and say that we are on the maid's side and she feels that she has no power because she always feels that the maid thinks that i'm the employer, so the maids are always good in front of me, and in front of my mil, the maids dun respect her. that is how she feels. so sometimes i i dun interfere too much since she is the one who is mostly at home and dealing with the maid, so i did mention to the maid before in the july confrontation, that at home, ah ma is the 'biggest'. they must listen to ah ma, because i'm out working most of the time and i've let my mil be in charge of the house.

so it becomes very difficult for us. interfere or not to interfere. sometimes when she complains to me, inside my heart, i was wondering. ok, she is complaining to me. so am i suppose to react? if so, how should i react? scold the maid or console her that everything is fine? sometimes i balance between the two. cannot keep consoling her and cannot keep scolding the maid.

today was especially tiring because my mil got so angry that she cried. i really think her depression is really serious. it's just a small incident of the maid and her arguing over a $1 coin. apparently, the maid only buys 1 bubble tea instead of 2. the maid says mil only gives her $1. my mil said she gave her $2 and that the maid kept $1. apparently, that elusive $1 was stuck in between some tissue. the maid quickly said that she didn't put the $1 in the tissue, it was ah ma who did it. then according to my mil, the maid almost pushed the wheelchair into the drain.

they came home, they were still arguing. what they were arguing, i dunno, but when i came home, the myanmar maid told me that the indonesia maid took the knife and wanted to slit her wrist. the myanmar maid stopped her.

when we came home, we tried to settle the problem. we had to, my mil was crying and wanted to talk to us. so my husband suggested, if she is so unhappy with the indonesia maid, why don't we change over their duties so that the myanmar maid look after her? she flatly refused! i think we were all exasperated. we just want her to be happy and not let the issue of maid to make herself so angry and unhappy. what for? sometimes i feel that things go in a full circle. you keep scolding the maid and throwing things. (when she is fed up, she just throw the food or knife into the basin, sometimes narrowly missing the maid) so that's why the maid is behaving the same way to you. i always believe that there is a limit to people's patience.

i also talked to the maid just now that what she attempted to do today is dangerous. i asked her, when she did this, did she think of her mum back in indonesia? i know she has problems, then approach us, don't keep it all to herself. plus it's not like we ill treat her. that is what made me angry. i told her, we all know ah ma's condition, lost a limb, depressed. the maid also knows how many medicine my mil has to take each day. (28 in total, some medication, twice a day, some thrice a day) i told her, we all know ah ma's condition, i also understand her situation, so i tolong her to bear with it. i also tolong her not to do anything silly ever again.

that's why i always feel that my grandma is really a good grandma. from the time she had a major heart attack to the time she died, total of about 6 weeks. even though she has recovered from the massive heart attack, she would need a lot of care at home as her heart has weakend tremendously. if she prolonged, her children would suffer. so she choose to go quicly. i feel that my aunties and uncles are all very lucky. they would never understand the pain and suffering one has to go through to look after a seriously ill person at home.

my mil has had diabetes for almost 10 or 11 years. ever since i got married. her depression started in 2003/04. she lost a limb to diabetes for nearly a year now. ever since she became a handicapped, i can fully understand the what it is to have and look after a handicap person. and to add on to it, she has depression. her depression escalated in the past few months. these past few months have been tiring. At first, we thought that everything was ok. but things took a turn for the worse in the past few months, since term 3 begin.

i'm not sure if mil feels inferior. i'm not good at counselling people especially adults. i've been blogging for the past 45 minutes, i think i should stop. still need to wake up early tomorrow morning.