well, it's not that i'm bothered by mil. in fact, i was worried that i seem too nonchalent to her pain. and you are right, if she's feeling ok, when she complains about the maid, i usually just go back to my room. her complaints does not bother me. it's the mental stress that it's bothering me.
mental stress comes from
1) i cannot scold my children too much. she will feel heart pain. (but she can scold the maid)
2) i cannot speak for my maid also, she thinks that i'm siding with the maid
3) i cannot have heart to heart talk with my maid also, she thinks that i'm siding with the maid. (sometimes i have heart to heart talk with her, just to monitor and check that she is feeling ok after all the scolding. i have to talk to her after my mil goes to sleep, we go to marcus' room where we can close the door and talk)
it's like, you are sitting there watching tv, then you hear someone scolding, nagging at the maid. sometimes, she scolds very loudly. you get that uneasy feeling especially if you know that some of the things said are rather unreasonable.
and now with her this pain, she cries in the room. the worse part is, i never go in and ask her anything. then i dunno what i should do? bring her to hospital, she doesn't want, she does not like to stay in the hospital. the maid cannot be there 24 hours to massage for her. i cannot lighten her pain, so what should i do? if i remain not bother about it, not very nice, so what should i do? go in and ask also cannot, go and ask also cannot. this is the type of stress i'm talking about.
3 comments:
well....she has a son, so let her son go in and sayang her lor.
tat is wat my wife will do....or i will do, no need to say say becoz tat is my mother who needs alittle more attention time and a again esp when she is not feeling well.
maybe u...need to have a slow talk to ur hubby on this. some guys are just not auto!
tat way....ur MIL will be happy tat her son sayang her and of course u gotto stand behind him when he talks to her 50% of time so tat she knows u too are concerned mah.
then....once in awhile if got good opportunity, u can have woman-to-woman talk esp on general things.
best not to touch on sensitive things...tat u leave it for mother-and-son plus father talk session.
think...this is the best way, less mental stress for u. watever son-mother-father talk.....die die still own family discussion. they have to compromise and settle watever is bothering them one way or the other.
if talk....not too succussful, u walk away leaving them to come to a agreement....if it went well then u join in and have a happy outcome lor.
for u....win-win, for MIL's family well...they are after all mother, father and son...maybe BIL also can be included another son=own family.
i believe u have enough of ur own family stress ( ....hubby, mother, aunties, sister....and M, M, M ) and working stress ( students and peers....HOD/Principle etc )to cause ur hair to turn white & hopefully not causing worst damaged...like dropping hair hehehe to worry about. Yes??
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