how should i begin? story goes like this:

mil wanted max to take his afternoon nap in the 'yona'. asked maid to put him in the 'yona'. max cried and said dun want and struggled. as maid was putting max in the yona, mil hit maid's hand. maid cried and said 'painful'.

later, mil told maid that she was actually hitting max, not her. i don't know who to believe and i'll give mil the benefit of the doubt. but i also told maid that if ah ma hit her again, whether accidental or intentional, she must let me know.

maid also told me that mil shouted loudly for no reason suddenly. marcus was at home, playing with his trains. marcus looked up and was stunned. nobody knew why she shouted.

for both incidents, i'm very upset and unhappy. in the evening, when i asked max if he cried when he was asked to sleep in the yona, he said, 'yah, me and sopia cry' i asked him 'why sopia cry?' he replied, 'ah ma beat sopia.' now if it takes a 3 year old to say that, i think it's a negative influence on him. when he grows up, thinking that it's ok to beat other people.

and the sudden outburst of scream, i dun want my children to think that it's ok to scream like that, not without explaining to them why u scream suddenly.

now from the other point of view:

i do fully understand the frustrations. the skin itches, you cannot do anything much. everything has to depend on people. you need people to help you massage, you need people to apply the lotion. yes, i fully understand this.

that is why when the maid couldn't wake up in time last week for a few day, i understand that she is tired.
when the maid couldn't complete the housework, i understand that her time is taken away.

but i cannot understand why, knowing that you cannot drink cold water, drank cold water in the morning?

that brings me to the question of life. my same old saying, live life to the fullest. birth, growing old, sick and death, all are natural processes of life. take all these in stride. yes, a person may be sick, but you still have to live life to the fullest. how do you want people to remember you when you die? i would want people to remember me as a fighter who fought till the end. i want people to remember me that despite my illness, i do this with whom, i do what with whom. we bring nothing to earth, we shall bring nothing away with us when we die. what is money? money is just something that we need to help us live on this earth. we only leave behind memories, so how do we want people to remember us?