My worst fears came true today. Mabel told me that she don't like to fo to school, she wants to stay at home forever. I knew it, I knew where it is coming from, I knew why she said this. I probe her into saying the reason. I gave her four choices, 1, friends 2, teachers, 3, bil, 4, studies. She chose 3.

I was so broken hearted when I heard this. The things that I was afraid would come true has finally happened. I'm really very sad, on impulse, I want to bring my children to leave the house. It's very heart breaking to hear this from Mabel, ans I find it so hard to explain to her without putting bil in the bad light. When I wa 21, my dad made it clear to me that he would nor be supporting me financially, I also told mabel that i'd shebos ever unemployed, I'm not going to be like mil or fil, still giving allowance.

Feel so sad, it pays to be calculative. I'm so stupid, everytime anything anything, never so calculative, but it doesn't pay.

This is not an easy way to solve this thing, the easiest I could think of now, is to take my children and leave.

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