scolding 3M

Yesterday was like day of scolding children.

Started with marcus, he said he was tired and didn't want to have chinese tuition and even called me halfway through his tuition and cried, i just put down the phone. So after dinner, (he was sleeping when i reached home), I had a talk with him. I showed him the article of the recruit trying to swim away from Tekong (btw, what was the recruit thinking about?) I asked him a lot of why questions. Why do you think he did that? Why do you think he is stressed?

I related the article to his present situation, he is like the recruit, he has to face his academic drills every day, he feels stressed, so he is thinking of how to escape all these. I told him, his behaviour is giving me a signal that he is escaping. Anyway, I told him to think of his own solution, if his solution is not deemed mature, i will overwrite it and come out with my solution for him. I told him, in the eyes of law, children aged 14 and below are deemed as immature to make a sensible decision.

Hence, i gave him 2 options: A) assessment + homework daily, stressed, deal with it happily and get his entertainment. b) assessment+homework daily, no entertainment even after completing. Sleep since he says he's tired.

So he chose A.

I also kind of like taught him to deal with stress, mind over body. He will need follow up and monitoring. Gosh, why do i feel like i am diagnosing Marcus?

Next, max. While i was lecturing marcus, he took the marker and drew on the study table. When marcus wanted to tell me, he pulled marcus t-shirt and started crying. Since he was naked and going to bathe, i get him and mabel to finish up their bath first.

As usual, he was crying buckets as i was scolding him, (wonder if he listened to what i was saying) i was angry with him because
1) he knew i would scold, yet he continued to do it, it didn't stop him from doing it
2) there are proper materials for him to draw if he wants to
3) he made his sister wrote things on the drawer
4) he tried to cover up when i found out.

as for mabel, i chided her for not using her judgement. She knew it was wrong and yet she did it after being persuaded to do it. As an elder sister, she didn't stop max from doing it and even helped him. I told mabel, her actions is signalling me a dangerous sign which i explained to her.

as for max, last night, he got his first caning from me. 1 stroke on the hand. and the funny thing is, he was crying and bargaining on his punishment. i asked him to choose, hand or buttock. he said no, i realise, children at his age only makes decision that benefit themselves.

So i literally had to use force to make him open up his right palm, he wanted to close the palm, i said no. I told him, he drew on my walls and sofa before, i did not really scold him, this incident is too much, my limit, is unacceptable. so i get him to steady his hand, then he blurted out, 'cannot beat so painful' I almost burst out laughing, but i controlled. so whacked.

needless to say, he cried even louder. i feel so much wanting to step up to hug him, but cannot. After beating, i walked away from the room. Let the other adult go and sayang and reinforce the discipline.