Reality vs Virtual

I could feel that yesterday i had a lot of pent up frustrations in me. i was like ready to burst at anybody who irritates me. but i had to control, i can't just take on anybody.

why was i feeling that way? until now, i still dunno. maybe it's just life, always rushing here and there to do this and that, but what do we achieve ultimately? so that we will not get summon for not buying season parking? so that life is better with more money at hand? so that we will be not be too late to fetch our kids from our in laws? so that our kids will not miss us too much if we are late in fetching them? this is not what i want in life. it's sad, but we have no choice. these are the mandane things we have to do, daily things which will not satisfy our emotions.

i was thinking, i kept saying, "life is worth the living, if we choose to" if we choose to live, choose to be happy, choose to do things that we like/want, choose a carefree life, life is definitely worth the living. maybe i need to be stronger mentally to push out the negative things that makes our lives sux. i dunno. if i can't choose how to live my life, then i really feel that life is not worth the living. that's y creepy thoughts like car crash, dying always come to my mind. but dun worry, i won't kill myself yet. i've my kids and family and ... to push me on.

sad, as i'm typing this, i dunno, i could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

that's y i retreat to a world of virtual. thanks to the xbox. i like playing 'crazy taxi'. in this game, u get to drive recklessly, crash, and still not die. so i actually enjoying crashing into the oncoming cars. call me crazy, that's what the game is about. in reality, i can't crash into them, even tho i love to, but in virtual i can. and man, i enjoy crashing into vehicles, sending them flying off, then banging them and dragging them, shiok! and crashing into walls, buildings. great enjoyment.

sharks, gtg, c what i mean, i would luv to spend more time on this blog and make it interesting, i felt that i'm only revealing half of my thoughts. but we are always limited by time, the bell is going to ring soon, and i'm limited by this, can't do what i like, see what i mean. how to carry on life?

hate life, hate time