i've watched 'money no enough 2' many times, at least 4 times. but each time i watch the show, each time i'll cry. especially when it comes to the part where the grandma was left at old folks home. or when i see how the grandma was treated, passing from one house to the other house. when she was left just outside the toilet in the kitchen. sometimes i wonder if there is really anybody who would leave their mother to sleep in the kitchen????

but the part that really got me crying was when the grandma was in ICU and when the grandma died. It reminds me of my own grandma when she passed away in March.

She was admitted to ICU too, so i can identify with all those tubes sticking out from the mouth. grandma went into ICU on friday morning. i remembered rushing down to the hospital to see her before going to fetch marcus and mabel from school. she could still see and probably recognise. i should have called her. when i left ICU on friday, i remembered there was one family who was crying very sadly.

on sat morning, received call to ask us to hurry down to the hospital. it was about 8in the morning. to cut long story short, bascially grandma's system is shutting down already. the doc is only injecting some medication to keep her heart alive as we were all waiting for one uncle to rush back from china. He could only reach Sg at night. so at intervals, we will all go in to see her. i remember massaging grandma's hands and toes. her toes were already cold and some parts, blackened already. her hands were very cold too.

at about 2am, it was decided that the doctor will not inject anymore. Grandma's system would just shut down gradually. For the next 15 mins, it was hell watching grandma fade away. It was and is still painful, thinking about it now. i remembered the bubbling of those yellowish substance at the mouth. That was why when i watch the movie, the make up artiste did a good job in portraying a person who juz died. but i dun remember grandma's face so pale.

anyway, as we keep talking to grandma, our cries got louder and louder, just like the familiy i saw on friday. we could see the heartbeat gradually dropping.

i remembered when we visited her in the hospital, she mentioned about the bed who was diagionally opposite her. She mentioned to us that the old woman is waiting for death. and my hubby asked grandma a funny question. he asked her if she was afraid of death or not. she smiled and said no. she sounded very confident in her answer. should have probed further to ask her why she was not afraid.

anyway, all it's over. i still do not have the courage to organise the funeral photos.