somtimes, the brain just do things without thinking. used my school's email account username and id to sign in blogger. omg! only managed to strike off one thing from work - to do list. How 'efficient' i am!

this year xmas falls on friday. i think i will go away for xmas this year. next year cny also falls on long weekend, i also feel like going away for cny next year.

sometimes i wonder why do we have family members? some things are just so difficult to solve, to settle especially when it comes to dealing with family members. at least, for friends, this is how i settle the issue, happy, we can still continue to be friends, not happy, no friends. u badmouth me in front of friends, i dun give a single damn.

but for family members, u have to think like if i do this, what will happen in the future? next time, still has to meet. it is just not so straight forward. dun ask me to pray to God, becos in the end, i still have to settle the problem. God can give me the wisdom to handle and settle the issue, but i dun see God giving the other party the wisdom to accept. well, if God gives the other party the wisdom to accept in the first place, there wouldn't be so many issues to settle.

if God wants this to be a trial for me, to make me stronger, yeah, the stress is making me stronger and more resilient.

yup, i'm starting to sense that i'm running away from it all. i'm starting to sense that i'm clamping up. i'm starting to sense that 'just leave me alone' feeling.

i'm also wondering if i would turn out to be so crappy when i become an old woman.