Before I make my thanksgiving, let me just say, the song forever young in my blog.
Just thinking, I never want to live physically forever, that is too
tormenting. If anything were to happen to me, I will not hesitate to go.
What I mean by forever young, hey, I think I've said this before many years ago when I reached 30 yes old, we cannot stop our bodies from growing old, with age comes many illnesses. since we cannot stop nature, so why don't we embrace nature and grow old gracefully? that's why the song, forever young, to live forever young in my heart. with this choice, the attitude I adopt is to be optimistic, this is very important in this grey world.
when I was in 20s, this song meant differently to me, I wanted to live forever young at 20s. but as I reached 30s, it changed. Maybe when I reach 40 or 50, I may have another thinking about this song.
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Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Thanksgiving time: should I start from young? should I? that would be too long.
let's start from people:
1) Adrian dear: thank you for 12 years of marriage, 16 years of tolerating my nonsense. though I've thanked u in person last nite, I still want to thank you again. We've been through so much, will continue to go through together. as bounded by marriage vows, for better or for worse, through thick and thin. Thank you for making me comfortable when I'm with u, thank you for accepting me for the way i am. Thank you for being there for me when i was down and out. Thank you for being a wonderful father to the kids.
2) Marcus: u have a joy with your non singaporean English slang. U are imaginative, u are an innocent child. u prove to be independant if u want to. It's not that mummy is harsh with u, it's just that mummy believe that u have the potential and u are not realizing that potential in u. thank you for being a wonderful son.
3) Mabel: u are a very sensitive and sensible girl. U are very helpful also. Want to thank you for being such a great help to your brothers, to the family. Thank you for pursuing excellence in whatever u do, thank you for not letting mummy worry so much for u.
4) max: u are a funny boy which brings joy to the family. You are still young and your character is not set yet. But u are a smart boy who is sensitive to other people feelings. Thank you for being yourself, thank you for being a wonderful son.
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let's start from people:
1) Adrian dear: thank you for 12 years of marriage, 16 years of tolerating my nonsense. though I've thanked u in person last nite, I still want to thank you again. We've been through so much, will continue to go through together. as bounded by marriage vows, for better or for worse, through thick and thin. Thank you for making me comfortable when I'm with u, thank you for accepting me for the way i am. Thank you for being there for me when i was down and out. Thank you for being a wonderful father to the kids.
2) Marcus: u have a joy with your non singaporean English slang. U are imaginative, u are an innocent child. u prove to be independant if u want to. It's not that mummy is harsh with u, it's just that mummy believe that u have the potential and u are not realizing that potential in u. thank you for being a wonderful son.
3) Mabel: u are a very sensitive and sensible girl. U are very helpful also. Want to thank you for being such a great help to your brothers, to the family. Thank you for pursuing excellence in whatever u do, thank you for not letting mummy worry so much for u.
4) max: u are a funny boy which brings joy to the family. You are still young and your character is not set yet. But u are a smart boy who is sensitive to other people feelings. Thank you for being yourself, thank you for being a wonderful son.
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Tuesday, December 29, 2009
today is an absolutely horrible day with mums not co-operating. mil makes us worry when she doesn't like to go to the hospital. on one hand, i understand her fear, but being numb on one side is no really no joke. 病从浅中医。
my mum does things that perplexes me and makes me worried too. i really dun understand what she is thinking about.
my mum does things that perplexes me and makes me worried too. i really dun understand what she is thinking about.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Forgot to add, bought Mabel a pair of boot yesterday, she looks cool in it. mmm, should I get myself one too? 20 mins, and I'm still here, best thing is I feel like going to the toilet.
Ha, gor yee, at this rate I'm blogging, think it will take an hour to catch up with my blog and to make comments.
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Ha, gor yee, at this rate I'm blogging, think it will take an hour to catch up with my blog and to make comments.
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Random thoughts of the day.
1) new year blues. last week of 2009, the inevitable will happen, got to face a challenging 2010. super duper blues
2) blogging is an open diary, when u know your target audience, it changes the way u blog. it has definitely influence my style of writing. reading someone's blog, discretion is needed. Writing my own blog, more discretion is needed. anyway, I'm juz thinking, what prompted me to start my blog? I'm a gal with few words, ask my auntie that, they will tell u it's like I got gold in my mouth. Since teenager, I've always kept a diary. So blogging is naturally the next. But I've learnt to watch what I blog.
3) this week got to settle textbooks for m and m. Marcus lost his book list, great. Tmr, their sch has home coming at their new sch campus.
4) was looking at my tummy in the mirror this morning. Omg, it's rounded and drooping. Ha, I'm so glad humans can use clothes to hide all these. I'm a lazy person, can't commit to a strict exercise regime, sigh. Sounds like a new year resolution 2010?
forget it. How many resolutions I made was successful? Ha
5) I should be going to work now. Meeting starts in another 30 mins.
Have yourself a nice day and enjoy the last week of 2009! I really mean enjoy! And boy, how am I to do that with all the work? One life, live it. Live life to the fullest.
P/s: will do some thanksgiving on my blog this week.
1) new year blues. last week of 2009, the inevitable will happen, got to face a challenging 2010. super duper blues
2) blogging is an open diary, when u know your target audience, it changes the way u blog. it has definitely influence my style of writing. reading someone's blog, discretion is needed. Writing my own blog, more discretion is needed. anyway, I'm juz thinking, what prompted me to start my blog? I'm a gal with few words, ask my auntie that, they will tell u it's like I got gold in my mouth. Since teenager, I've always kept a diary. So blogging is naturally the next. But I've learnt to watch what I blog.
3) this week got to settle textbooks for m and m. Marcus lost his book list, great. Tmr, their sch has home coming at their new sch campus.
4) was looking at my tummy in the mirror this morning. Omg, it's rounded and drooping. Ha, I'm so glad humans can use clothes to hide all these. I'm a lazy person, can't commit to a strict exercise regime, sigh. Sounds like a new year resolution 2010?
forget it. How many resolutions I made was successful? Ha
5) I should be going to work now. Meeting starts in another 30 mins.
Have yourself a nice day and enjoy the last week of 2009! I really mean enjoy! And boy, how am I to do that with all the work? One life, live it. Live life to the fullest.
P/s: will do some thanksgiving on my blog this week.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Juz realize the Chinese character for xiao sa is wrong, the sa should be another word.
I'm still thinking after I blog. I guess deep down inside me, I will be a Chou ah Lian. leopard never changes its spots. el said this to me before, I guess u were right. I'm now sick and tired of being the good gal. I'm not.
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I'm still thinking after I blog. I guess deep down inside me, I will be a Chou ah Lian. leopard never changes its spots. el said this to me before, I guess u were right. I'm now sick and tired of being the good gal. I'm not.
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friend forwarded email, title " did u marry the right person?" how apt the email. but something i disagree with the email was that,
true, in a marriage, you learn to love the person you found, right, very true. but it forgot to mention that the person you found comes with his/her family.
even the strongest person will break down at a point of his/her life. i thought i was a strong person, i dun like to cry, it's a sign of weakness. when i was younger, when dad left, i cried so much. when i was a teenager, i cried so much, so i have told myself, be a strong girl.
did dad make the right decision at that time? i so strongly believe in giving my children a complete family because of this incident. i never want my children to feel the way i did. all this while, i asked God, if u want to punish me for wrong thing i did, punish me, dun punish my children.
a marriage does not only binds two persons, it binds two families. last night, i really broke down. i've heard so many stories about gal staying with in laws, i prepared myself, i did not know why i broke down last night. it was 2-3 years of frustrations, i guess. so dun envy me or wonder how i did it. i never do anything miraculous.
i come back, i hide in my bedroom. i want to scold my children, i scold them in the bedroom. i angry, i release my anger in the virtual world. i did nothing. so maybe all these years of doing nothing caused something last night.
i broke down. i was like, wtf, this is my house. i'm having so many restrictions in my own house. dun wear too short shorts, at home, i still have to be wearing my bra until the minute before i go to sleep, dun wear too short t-shirt that reveal the naval. impossible to wear nightie and walk around. cannot scold my children, cannot beat my children. i guess i was like enough is enough. i just so totally broke down.
i was never a calculative person, i hate to calculate to the last cent, last dollar. 做人一向很萧撒. it's like learning to love the person you found is already difficult, learning to love his family members proves more difficult and seriously there are lesser incentives to be accepted by his family members. so coupled with this, i juz broke down.
i feel like asking my dad, what factors caused him to make the decision back then? because now i'm like in my dad's position, maybe somewhat different. we talked about it last night, cried until my eyes feel so puffy now. (note: i was sober all these while) Adrian, i loved you and for the children and my promise to them, i will stay. as for outside factors that are causing the stress, we will deal with it together. i never blame you, it's not a blaming game. we chose each other for who we are, we will be, it's just that maybe i wasn't prepared to love your family members as you do.
so in conclusion, next time, i will shift my duty as a daughter from sunday to saturday. so i'll go back amk on saturday to visit my mum. This will lessen the tension.
true, in a marriage, you learn to love the person you found, right, very true. but it forgot to mention that the person you found comes with his/her family.
even the strongest person will break down at a point of his/her life. i thought i was a strong person, i dun like to cry, it's a sign of weakness. when i was younger, when dad left, i cried so much. when i was a teenager, i cried so much, so i have told myself, be a strong girl.
did dad make the right decision at that time? i so strongly believe in giving my children a complete family because of this incident. i never want my children to feel the way i did. all this while, i asked God, if u want to punish me for wrong thing i did, punish me, dun punish my children.
a marriage does not only binds two persons, it binds two families. last night, i really broke down. i've heard so many stories about gal staying with in laws, i prepared myself, i did not know why i broke down last night. it was 2-3 years of frustrations, i guess. so dun envy me or wonder how i did it. i never do anything miraculous.
i come back, i hide in my bedroom. i want to scold my children, i scold them in the bedroom. i angry, i release my anger in the virtual world. i did nothing. so maybe all these years of doing nothing caused something last night.
i broke down. i was like, wtf, this is my house. i'm having so many restrictions in my own house. dun wear too short shorts, at home, i still have to be wearing my bra until the minute before i go to sleep, dun wear too short t-shirt that reveal the naval. impossible to wear nightie and walk around. cannot scold my children, cannot beat my children. i guess i was like enough is enough. i just so totally broke down.
i was never a calculative person, i hate to calculate to the last cent, last dollar. 做人一向很萧撒. it's like learning to love the person you found is already difficult, learning to love his family members proves more difficult and seriously there are lesser incentives to be accepted by his family members. so coupled with this, i juz broke down.
i feel like asking my dad, what factors caused him to make the decision back then? because now i'm like in my dad's position, maybe somewhat different. we talked about it last night, cried until my eyes feel so puffy now. (note: i was sober all these while) Adrian, i loved you and for the children and my promise to them, i will stay. as for outside factors that are causing the stress, we will deal with it together. i never blame you, it's not a blaming game. we chose each other for who we are, we will be, it's just that maybe i wasn't prepared to love your family members as you do.
so in conclusion, next time, i will shift my duty as a daughter from sunday to saturday. so i'll go back amk on saturday to visit my mum. This will lessen the tension.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Feel so stupid today, waiting and waiting. Anyway, had weird dreams recently, I dreamt that I got drowned in a very deep ocean, the tall tower I was holding on to kept sinking, and I kept climbing up until when I reached the top, there was nothing more for me to climb. I juz drowned. It felt horrible to die like that.
Last night, I dreamt that I had a dog with 3 heads! It was very frightening. It was lying on the bed beside me, then it suddenly jerked itself up and snarled at me. It was frightening.
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Last night, I dreamt that I had a dog with 3 heads! It was very frightening. It was lying on the bed beside me, then it suddenly jerked itself up and snarled at me. It was frightening.
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Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
random thoughts
1) sharks, my skin is sensitive to sanitary pad
2)piss. first of all, high tide, so tried to rush home after buying dinner. reached void deck, a man opened letter box, council gave 2010 calendar, he looked through the calendar. wtf, press the lift button! nvm, i pressed the button.
lift A: storey 6, lift B: storey 10. lift b came down. after waiting some time, i looked up again. lift b stopped at 2. lift a, by this time has desccended to storey 2. then lift a came down. i was like wtf. ok, maybe there was someone in the lift. lift reached 1sst floor, nobody!!!! piss.
what's wrong with the new and upgraded lift? they are very slow, reacts like a retard. then the programming of the lift was really stupid. lift b which responded, cannot come down to 1st storey in a single shot. it stopped at 2, then lift a came down to the 1st storery. what stupid programming is this? must be done by PSC scholars!!!!!!
then, the man went out of the lift first after we reached storey 10. he was still browsing at the calendar. then he stood in the middle, neither going left or right (i'm supposed to go right) blocking my way. he seemed like he was going right, so being a good (but dun forget, i'm rushing to reach home, my bladder is bursting!) neighbour, i let him first. He turned left while still browsing at the calendar.
va boom! i banged my feet loudly as i walked. stupid lift, stupid man, waste my time. i wonder if he knows how to pronounce i-d-i-o-t.
3) ah boy keeps tickling me now as i typed. had to ask him to stop. very cheeky boy.
4) i have not done any xmas shopping. haha. that's why i hate xmas.
1) sharks, my skin is sensitive to sanitary pad
2)piss. first of all, high tide, so tried to rush home after buying dinner. reached void deck, a man opened letter box, council gave 2010 calendar, he looked through the calendar. wtf, press the lift button! nvm, i pressed the button.
lift A: storey 6, lift B: storey 10. lift b came down. after waiting some time, i looked up again. lift b stopped at 2. lift a, by this time has desccended to storey 2. then lift a came down. i was like wtf. ok, maybe there was someone in the lift. lift reached 1sst floor, nobody!!!! piss.
what's wrong with the new and upgraded lift? they are very slow, reacts like a retard. then the programming of the lift was really stupid. lift b which responded, cannot come down to 1st storey in a single shot. it stopped at 2, then lift a came down to the 1st storery. what stupid programming is this? must be done by PSC scholars!!!!!!
then, the man went out of the lift first after we reached storey 10. he was still browsing at the calendar. then he stood in the middle, neither going left or right (i'm supposed to go right) blocking my way. he seemed like he was going right, so being a good (but dun forget, i'm rushing to reach home, my bladder is bursting!) neighbour, i let him first. He turned left while still browsing at the calendar.
va boom! i banged my feet loudly as i walked. stupid lift, stupid man, waste my time. i wonder if he knows how to pronounce i-d-i-o-t.
3) ah boy keeps tickling me now as i typed. had to ask him to stop. very cheeky boy.
4) i have not done any xmas shopping. haha. that's why i hate xmas.
you know when it comes to the end of the year, then either you get those emails forecasting the 2010 with your animal zodiac signs or there will be lots of fortune books on sale now....
so was reading one email that friend forwarded, something that caught my eye. for those born in the year of the pig, you will be in love....so the first person that comes to my mind.... SIS! love is in the air for you next year, hooray!
but then again, 'sui yuan'. all these forecast, read read, laugh laugh over the good things, dun worry over the bad things, fate is in your own hands, you rule your life, of course, for those with religion, you rule your life with the guidance of God.
so, sis, imagine what a good laugh i had last nite after reading the email. ok, i should be going for a meeting now.
so was reading one email that friend forwarded, something that caught my eye. for those born in the year of the pig, you will be in love....so the first person that comes to my mind.... SIS! love is in the air for you next year, hooray!
but then again, 'sui yuan'. all these forecast, read read, laugh laugh over the good things, dun worry over the bad things, fate is in your own hands, you rule your life, of course, for those with religion, you rule your life with the guidance of God.
so, sis, imagine what a good laugh i had last nite after reading the email. ok, i should be going for a meeting now.
Monday, December 21, 2009
recently, the snow storm that is sweeping across europe and USA is causing chaos to many cities and upsetting people's lives.
even effiel tower was almost covered in snow and had to close for the day.
can you imagine yourself with your loved one, in paris, walking in the snow and under effiel tower? so romantic.
even effiel tower was almost covered in snow and had to close for the day.
can you imagine yourself with your loved one, in paris, walking in the snow and under effiel tower? so romantic.
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