Wah, brought the kids to dairy farm, the newly opened education centre, but it was not open. So disappointed, walked all the way in to find it close. They should at least have a signboard at the carpark to tell people of the opening and closing hours. Nevertheless, rook some pics.

This is a big spider in its spider web.











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just made a quick video showing some pics of grandma's funeral to the tune of one her favourite hymn. actually i prefer the hymn which was played when we followed behind the van, but could not find it, so settle for second best.

Mabel has been so disappointing. Her virtue of sensibility and not letting us worried has become her greatest weakness and shame.

She is a quiet, scheming, make use of people, cheater. I shall not elaborate on the incident.

As usual, I always reflect. Her daddy has always been a honest person, maybe she takes after me, do I cheat people? Do I make use of people? Maybe in some point of my life, I did. Whatever mabel has done in fact really reflects badly on her parents, it's Like we never teach her well.

I feel disappointed with her and feel so hurt. More painful than losing a loved one. I've asked her to reflect on her own actions. I juz stop short of smacking her. Regret to bring her to this world to make her suffer all these, but she has to learn.

I'm done for today, totally lost mood. We'll be visiting grandma again, 2nd march. Grandma, can u take me with u?


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Warning, the pics below may cause some disturbance. Viewer discretion, best not to see right after food. Owner shall NOT take any responsibility for any heart pain or discomfort caused.

Ok so the hong mo came back, yet again last night. But it was not itchy. Juz applied some rice wine on my body. See if it works.

So are u happy to see me like that now? I derserve it, right, u must be thinking.










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Wah, this morning go ntuc food court at simei mrt, the Lady selling the Dian xin sucks! dun make me angry, otherwise the Chou ah Lian in me appear.

It's Like we owe her like that, she was making things so dunno to say order or not, then she said in a rude voice in mandarin, ' wat u want order, say lah.' wah throughout the whole process she was very rude. I also buay tahan, this kind of person, no need to be kind also.

This is another incident which I feel it doesn't pay to be kind. I really wanted to retaliate back at auntie, ' auntie, buay song mai zo kang. Mai pek ceik.Zar mey ang bo ka ler sio kan huh? Ang Mai sio kan, chue pak eh da bo sio kan lah, nb. Mm si wa Mai kan ler, Mai chue wa si, chue ler ang si, wo ka ler buay mi Kia ba lu.'

Wah, hokkien very hard to pinyin.


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Hong mo appeared again. Say this is jiu mi, not hong mo, might as well take a knife and stab mre, less painful. Tmr I buy red wine, test again.


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Juz came back fm doc. In another 2 mins, my alarm us going to ring.

After hubby woke up, told him abt doc, suggest that I go 24 hr clinic which I'ce googled whe I can't sleep. Manage to find one at tampines, so at 5am, went to see doc. Couldn't bear the itch.

Upon seeing my condition, immediately gave a jab, which would be drowsy, so after paying,quickly drive home before it kicks in. Actually as I'm writing this blog, I can feel it slowly kick in.

So here i am, feeling much better after the jab, no longer itch and feeling tired and drowsy.

Nite every one.

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Long time never have hong mo, this time round, very bad case. Started ard midnight, neck. Thought was mosquito bite, went to toilet, damn, red rashes. Nvm, tolerate, dun scratch. Couldn't sleep, can feel more and more popping out.

Then the whole arm, inner thigh. Juz went toilet to check, my whole body, including my backside and ears are also covered with rashes.

Looks gross, in some areas, it merged into one big lump, I would have taken a pic to put in the blog, but ha, dun think so.

The itch is killing me, cannot scratch as it seems to get worse if I scratch. Very torturous.

Hope it gets better in another 2 hours time, but then i didn't get any sleep! the minute I feel sleepy, some parts of my body will be itchy. as I glide my hands over my body, I can feel the bumps of the rashes, goose pimple. My neck looks swollen, my arms looks swollen.

Really, tolerating itch is mire torturous than tolerating pain. But then again, certain pain like appendicts or toothache is rather unbearable.

Another hour to go before hubby wakes up, will tell him when he wakes up.


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what i told grandma

that day when i visited grandma, i told her this:

'ah ma, i'm sorry i was not able to go back to God, because i was not ready. on one hand i'm sorry to you and Him but on the other hand, i do not want to go back to God just for the sake of a promise to you. i want to be really prepared and sincere if i were to go back to God.

ah ma, maybe the day when i walked into a church to attend the service will be the day when i know that all the hypocrisy that i've seen is gone. the day i walked into a church will be the day i know i can be a good testimony to God. for each day that i can't reconcile what i've saw, each day that i can't reconcile that i'm not a hypocrite Christian myself, i will not go back to Him.

so ah ma, once again, sorry. (each time i visit her, i'll say sorry to her in my heart) i love u and of course do not want to disappoint u, but that doesn't mean that i should just go back to God for the sake of you. In the meantime, ah mah, pls continue to watch over your children. They need you more than your grandchildren do.

everytime i go visit you, i saw the young man lying beside you, sometimes i envied him.

love you always, grandma, from San.'

Today I was very inspired by the show, a 80 year old woman, despite her age, still going so strong, still remaining cheerful despite her adversity.

I really wish I have her courage, her power to face adversity. Really, I have no regrets living for 35 years. If I were to die tomorrow, I have no regrets, I've lived my life, my ch ate healthy as of now, I have a house, a job, I dun have to worry abt tmr.
Wat more can I ask? I should be asking, wat more can I give or do for the unfortunate?

As I keep saying, life is short, live your life to the fullest. Be happy, life has been good to me. Be positive Ans stay cheerful.

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Took some pics of max helping to clean grandma 's grave the other day. He is such a good boy.










And of course Mabel helped out too



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I also bought these other flowers for my two vases.








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These are the sunflowers I bought yesterday. Buying them makes me very happy, dunno why.


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next time pls dun cook. once start cooking, problems start again, the scolding come back again. keep the food in the fridge too long also scold, throw the food away also scold. all these would not have happened, if we didn't cook dinner.

sianz, i feel like moving out.

Must be PMS, one min I'm happy, another min, I'm sad. But i guess it's ok, I asked for it, only blame myself. It'd ok, Life is short, live life to fullest.


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Today, I feel good becos I bought flowers, sunflowers. I must be flowing with happiness becos people give me the look, like I siow char bo like that. Ha, a bit bongus already.

Life is short, live life to fullest.
开心就好


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Max is very cute. He counts his own ang pow money, when I put it all together, he calls it fat fat money.

He says there are 2 dollars, 10 dollars, then he says when we are all not at home, he's going to use his fat fat money to but bubble tea. When I asked him to share his money with me, he said no. After much persuasion, he said he's give me 2 dollars, and he takes 10 dollars, so smart hor.

He's very cute. Marcus also talk about how he is going to use his money, One look at my expression, he said joking lah,

And it's very funny, all 3 of them took the same number of ang pow, but the 3 amount doesn't tally?? All 3 of them got different amount.

Children are the happiest when it comes to taking ang pow.


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Today during lesson, saw a cockroach crawling towards my bag and pencil box. Actually, it's not I spotted the cockroach, it was the students. U can imagine my horrid expression, I juz want to get far away fm the cockroach. As I moved away, I instructed students to take the paper to crush the cockroach, of course after crushing the cockroach, he took it to scare me.

So now the whole class know that mrs tan is scared of cockroach. Darn.


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Long holidays over, back to work, back to busy busy busy.

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Kao, I hate to update software. Already tried 2 times, unsuccessful, say timed out. Now trying for 3rd time. After downloading, still got to update the phone, wonder wat time I'll finish.


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