Defeated

Received the email, was not successful.
Feeling defeated. Feeling a sense of..... Disappointment?
I kept sighing. I feel like having a shoulder to cry on. I feel much defeated. My confidence has taken a bashing.
Feeling down.....

Scolding children early in the morning

This morning, i was very irked by the things Marcus and Mabel did, I did not want to scold them early in the morning, but I really could not control myself.

Marcus:
The usual practice was to pack the school bag the night before. This morning, Marcus came down to the living room with his pencil box, calculator, maths worksheet and Social Studies workbook. He sat on the sofa with all these thins laid beside him. My first question to him, are those things to be put into the bag?
He sighed, took maths worksheet, walked to his bag and put it inside.
Then i asked him again, what about the rest? he walked to the sofa, took a pencil box and started to walk towards his bag again. That was when I flared up and asked him, why can't he one shot take all his things and placed it into his bag?

So my long string of nagging started. I asked him why he can't place his things inside his bag the moment he came down from his bedroom? He told me he wanted to rest. Then I started again, why can't he do all his things first, then rest? Why must he rest first?

Last night before completing his homework, he took a rest before dinner, his homework was not completed. After dinner, he sat on the sofa and watched 'journey to the west'. I kept quiet. At 8pm, he went up to continue his homework. I do not know how long he took to complete his work, but close to 10pm (sleeping time), he asked me two maths question.

So while scolding him, i did bring up last night's issue.

My rationale:
When he came down with all his things from the bedroom, he would have easily just take a few more steps to his bag and placed his things inside his bag. It is so simple. Why must he carry all the things to the sofa and rest first?

Mabel:
After scolding Marcus, I saw a crossword puzzle paper on the piano. It was Mabel. She had some clues she could not solve. Again, i started scolding.

Last night, Mabel had the whole night to ask me about the cross word puzzle. Yes, true, she was doing e-learning in the night. But after that, 9pm when she started to watch tv, she had the time to ask me.

Rationale:
In the morning, that half an hour, there are many things to be done. Homework questions should be asked the night before, not in the morning!

After scolding them, i was so angry that i didn't realise i gulped down my coffee.

Was disappointed with both of them.

Random thoughts after reading newspaper

random thoughts:

1) Fatherhood makes andy lau happier and fatter.

2) fire at east village. just wondering, how the fire got to be so big and so diffcult to extinguish? It took 80 SCDF officers to extinguish the fire in 4 hours. Was SCDF slow in responding? inefficient to put out the fire? If buildings in Singapore goes through random fire check, then how is it that such an incident could happen? the fire checks on building is supposed to prevent fire, right? or to make sure that in event of fire, exits of building are not blocked? i think it's the latter.
read the report, if the fire started at around 830am, the SCDF received call at 905am, what took the hotel so long to call the SCDF???????? could the fire have been prevented from escalating if the hotel authorities had called SCDF earlier?

3) US dollor is at $1.26 against Sing dollar.

yah, i guess that's all for my random thoughts.

Women- big hearted?

Someone asked me this question. I don't have the answer.
Are women 大方？
For those reading this post, u can ask yourself this question.
Personally, for the man i love, I would. Sometimes the feeling may be sour, but got to trust your man, love conquers all. That is provided your man has been good to you. On that belief, i trust my man.
Gracious is the way to go in true love.

It was difficult to continue the post. Because I was thinking, if a man cheated, the woman would, for the sake of the family, stand by the husband. Just look at the case of those men caught in the sex with underage prostitute case. Did mrs shaw stood by mr shaw?
But if it was the woman who cheated, 99% of the men will not stand by the wife. Just look at the case of the scdf case.

Yes, men have their pride. Especially if the case is on news. Does it mean that woman doesn't have pride? No. I think it's because society has made women the weaker sex. Yes, we have come a long way and progress in women fighting for equal rights. But somehow, that's how far we can go. Men are from mars. Women from Venus, we can never be equal. We are made to be different.

Otherwise, women should go for NS and men should try child bearing. Men and women will never be the same. For women, we think with the heart, which proves to be complicated. For men, they think with their head, rationalize. Some silly men would think with their cock head.

Then why are some women small hearted? Maybe it's because they really love their men, that's why it matters to them. Maybe it's not that they don't trust their men, it's they don't trust the other women. But then again, if they trust their men, why would they worry about the other women? I really don't know.

So back to my question, and I hope u have seriously think about it. Are women big hearted, generous?

Eventful day

Since Sunday night, it has been rather eventful.

At 3 plus, realised max was turning and tossing in his bed. Then took his temperature. He was having a fever. Administered medicine. Didn't really get to sleep till 4 plus. Had to be patted to sleep

So took child care on Monday. Brought him to see the doc. After we came back, settled, Mabel called from school and said that she sprained her leg.

Rushed to school to pick her up and immediately brought her to see the Chinese physician. Luckily, it was nothing serious and immediately aft that, she could walk better.

The Chinese physician didn't apply on the right ankle which was the injured area. He pressed on the ear, left wrist and left ankle.

Anyway, was kept busy yesterday.

Blasted

Today, Marcus' procrastination really blasted me off. Already mood not very Sui, to come back to the procrastination displayed by him, I really blew my top.

Horrible week

Been a horrible week. Sucks. Not happy. Will I get used to it? Maybe. Mayb I have to start learning.

Hi

Hello stranger. It's been some time since I blogged.
Yet to upload some Taiwan pics here.
Yet to do some official business wrt work.
But i've completed rearranging my iTunes music. That's an accomplishment.

Last week of holiday

Sigh. Last few days to enjoy. Today I slept until 10 plus then wake up, Shiok!
So sad, enjoying holidays. All good things must come to an end. Never mind, I'm looking forward to the next holidays!

Pleasant surprise

I was tricked downstairs by Vanessa, thought Cathy in trouble, need counseling. So I went down, and I got a pleasant surprise.

Luckily I didn't go down in pj. That would be awful!

After that, since Marcus and Mabel not asleep yet, so I asked them down to. Evidence, if not my hubby thought I went out to meet lover. Ha ha.

37 years ago

37 years ago, on this day, my mum gave birth to me. Did I give my mum a difficult birth? I dunno. But I was a sickly child. I needed a drip because I did not take in milk well. They had to insert the needle in my head.

I also knew that my both legs were not of equal length. It would make me walk with a limp. However, the midwife adjusted the bones. So it was remedied.

37 years later, want to thank my parents for having me. I hope I have not failed them.

Last of all, happy birthday to me.

buay tahan liao

Did you say "happy mother day" to your mom or MIL every time that you can remember of???

WHat goes round...will comes round.

If...your answer is "YES" then it is time to tell your 3M what I said.

Above was a comment to my mother's day post.

all this while, i've been refraining from making comments to the comments in my posting. but now, i'm going to let loose a bit.

My silence does not mean that anonymous can keep on commenting on my posts as if you know me well. My blog is a place where i blog my thoughts and feelings. If you don't like what i blog, then leave. by not responding to comments made on my posts, it says that i dun care about what other people think of me. But now apparently, i have to break my silence, because i'm pissed.

If you do not know me well, then dun ask me if i say 'happy mother day' to my mom or mil and tell me things like what goes round will come round.

and to add on to my mother's day post:

i was upset because of the whole hype about mother's day. so it was kind of sad when your children did not do anything special on that day. I don't blame them, because i'm upset that the daddy didn't rally the children to do something on that special day while i actually have in mind to rally the children to do something for their fathers on father's day.

and it doesn't matter if they didn't do something special for me on mother's day. As long as they appreciate me every day, which they do, i'm happy.

yah, enough is enough, i'm tired of this.

Marcus grew up

Was planning to buy Marcus some pj on sat as his old ones are really not fit for wearing.

Realised there are pj for babies and younger children. But to find pj for a 12 year old is a little bit difficult. So in the end, bought him some plain t shorts and boxers for him to wear as pj.

Marcus grew up already, wear boxers.

no items to wish for

After removing 'marcus to pass chinese' from my wish list, i realised there is nothing on my wish list. and i'm staring blankly as to what next to wish for. found that i've nothing to wish for.

is my life that contented that i've nothing to wish for? well, only those who knows me well will know what i really wish for.

i've removed one item from my wish list. that is for marcus to pass his chinese. After 3 long years, he finally pass his Chinese!!!!! wa!!!!! hope he maintains the standard.

But based on his mid year results, he cannot go anywhere. or should i say he couldn't get into the schools he aim to go. He got only A C C C, A for English.

Disappointed with his science results though, he should do much better in science.

Unfriend a friend in Facebook

What do u do when your friend Unfriend u in Facebook? Retaliate?

I think my reaction is to rumble here and my life continues to move on.

By unfriending a person, u had made clear how much u weigh this friendship. Yes, there were questions like y did u do that, I would like to ask. But forget it. Because likewise, I'ver no longer put a value to this. It doesn't bother me that I need to find the answer. I do not even want to comment on the action because it doesn't matter anymore.

I've more important people in my life to love, to care.

这个故事终于写完了。

Life is fragile

Reading the Chinese newspaper on the funeral of the taxi driver. The pictures of his children crying as they walk the last journey Heart ache. can cry.
Life is indeed fragile. He was gone in one second.

Life is indeed fragile. Must handle with care. U know the box has this warning? Fragile. Handle with care. Maybe all of us should wear this sign on us to remind ourselves.

Play pool mini one

Kelvin bought a mini pool table long time ago with Adrian. I was told, of I remember correctly that it was on impulse. Then it was placed in the store room For some time.

Recently children brought it out to play and last night I played with them. It was fun.

Max so sweet

I was marking furiously last night and Max left me a note on the fridge magnet. So sweet.

Memories

Last night before I sleep, suddenly recall my mil's last moments. Don't ask me why, just recalled. Tuesday will mark her 100 days of passing.

Recalled how she took care of the family. My hands are trembling as I'm typing. Maybe today is mother's day. I hope I didn't fail her as a dil. We had some misunderstandings and differences. But I really want to thank her on this day for her care, her help. I will always remember how she takes good care of this family, especially how she use her last strength to cook dinner for the family, making sure we have dinner to eat before she goes.

I also recalled my grandma. Been dreaming of her the past few nights. But it's always at the scene of the hospital. It was as if she is well again. Recall her 慈祥 face, her white hair. Recalled my aunties use to say, when I was younger, when she looked after me, I would always help her to go down to buy things. I think her biggest worry for me is that I stopped going to church. I think she never tells me that. But I knew she kept praying for me.

I know I'm finding excuses not to go back to church. I know deep down inside. It's complicated.