last sunday, the whole family went to sdc n army museum. It was enjoyable n the ch are all happy.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
sdc n army museum
last sunday, the whole family went to sdc n army museum. It was enjoyable n the ch are all happy.
explorer kids
remember promise marcus that if he pass his chinese, we'll bring him to explorer kids. So here are the pictures. Btw, we enter into some kind of lucky draw that day, n guess wat? We won a pair of tickets to watch dora live @expo. So yesterday, after collecting the tickets, we have to buy another two tickets so that the whole fam can go.
meeting old friends
last fri, an old friend's b day. Went down to celebrate. Everyone was surprise to see us as we have not kept in touch for at least 2 years or more. A lot of catching up was done. Well, i can def say that many things have changed. U can also say that some things dun change too. For example, some friends remain the same, the same mannerism, same way of talking. But their life has def changed a lot. For privacy, i shall not elaborate here. But i can feel that the group of friends that we hang out with, u can say that some people are no longer there. I dunno how to say the feeling. The feeling is strange. It's like familiar but not that familiar. I also dunno how to explain. But yes, will def continue to keep in touch
ok, where shall i start? On fri evening, i was piss. Know how i let off steam? I went bedok reservoir to jog. Well, i didn't jog the whole round, only abt three quarter then i walked the rest. It was very mentally challenging esp when others overtake u. So that was how i release my steam. Good exercise though.
Friday, May 23, 2008
ok, what is new? price of crude oil rise to a barrel of 135 per barrel on thursday. so the forecast that it would rise to above 200 per barrel is definitely coming true.
sigh.... diesel in sg is already $1.80 per litre. How are people working in the delivery industry and taxi driver going to survive? their income is all shaved off by the diesel.
inflation is at record high of 7.5 percent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Singapore inflation rate hits 7.5 percent in April, new 26-year high
Food prices alone rose 8.5 percent, transportation and communication were 7.0 percent higher and housing costs became 11.8 percent more expensive, the statistics department said.
the $200 that the government gives, instantly became smoke.
The lower income family is going to be hardest hit. Who is going to help them? Who can do something to help them? Who can lower down the price of oil? (i mean in sg) actually i have the answers. i'm just phrasing it into questions to stay out of trouble. We all know the answers and we know that nothing much is done. It all boils down to making money.
it's not that i'm not compassionate towards the two disasters that happened recently. It's just that i can't even help myself, i can't even do anything for my own country, i so kpo go and help others for wat? now, keeping money with you is the most important.
i hate it when i can feel my heart hardened, especially when it comes to money issues. Being in the society has taught me a lot of lessons and my heart no longer feels pain nor compassion. I can feel my heart turning cold and hardening. I grieve for the loss of my faith and compassion.
i also learnt that utopia will always remain utopia. Nothing is fair in the world. if the world is fair, then the rich would distribute their money to the poor. If the world is fair, then people getting the same amount of pay will work equal amount of work.
yes, work... i shall not give details about frustrations with my work or my colleagues in case i kena checked and got disciplinary warning. so i shall be very brief. if you are smart and knows how to infer, then the last sentence in my previous paragraph could have given you a clue. as for some colleagues.... sigh, i dunno what to say. i dun believe that such people can exist on earth in the first place. i am perplexed by their behaviour, their irresponsibility or shall i truthfully put it, piss.
ok, much said, my anger is still there. i've been typing very hard on the keyboard. i've been munching on biscuits since i typed this. going home may be the best thing for me right now but i dun want to bring my anger home as my children are innocent and i'm afraid that i may unintentionally vent my anger on them. argh, i feel like punching someone.
sigh.... diesel in sg is already $1.80 per litre. How are people working in the delivery industry and taxi driver going to survive? their income is all shaved off by the diesel.
inflation is at record high of 7.5 percent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Singapore inflation rate hits 7.5 percent in April, new 26-year high
Food prices alone rose 8.5 percent, transportation and communication were 7.0 percent higher and housing costs became 11.8 percent more expensive, the statistics department said.
the $200 that the government gives, instantly became smoke.
The lower income family is going to be hardest hit. Who is going to help them? Who can do something to help them? Who can lower down the price of oil? (i mean in sg) actually i have the answers. i'm just phrasing it into questions to stay out of trouble. We all know the answers and we know that nothing much is done. It all boils down to making money.
it's not that i'm not compassionate towards the two disasters that happened recently. It's just that i can't even help myself, i can't even do anything for my own country, i so kpo go and help others for wat? now, keeping money with you is the most important.
i hate it when i can feel my heart hardened, especially when it comes to money issues. Being in the society has taught me a lot of lessons and my heart no longer feels pain nor compassion. I can feel my heart turning cold and hardening. I grieve for the loss of my faith and compassion.
i also learnt that utopia will always remain utopia. Nothing is fair in the world. if the world is fair, then the rich would distribute their money to the poor. If the world is fair, then people getting the same amount of pay will work equal amount of work.
yes, work... i shall not give details about frustrations with my work or my colleagues in case i kena checked and got disciplinary warning. so i shall be very brief. if you are smart and knows how to infer, then the last sentence in my previous paragraph could have given you a clue. as for some colleagues.... sigh, i dunno what to say. i dun believe that such people can exist on earth in the first place. i am perplexed by their behaviour, their irresponsibility or shall i truthfully put it, piss.
ok, much said, my anger is still there. i've been typing very hard on the keyboard. i've been munching on biscuits since i typed this. going home may be the best thing for me right now but i dun want to bring my anger home as my children are innocent and i'm afraid that i may unintentionally vent my anger on them. argh, i feel like punching someone.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
ok, finally got some breathing space to look through the photos. so let me see... ok, i'll start with birthdays....
and this is my grandma in the photo, my mum and my mil before her operation
within a span of a year, max when he was just born: (2006)
Then one year later: (2007)
This is papa's birthday last year:
and his birthday this year:
This is mabel's birthday 2006:
mabel's birthday 2007:
marcus' birthday 2007 (cannot find his 2006 birthday)
and this is my grandma in the photo, my mum and my mil before her operationMonday, May 12, 2008
taken from http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1739159,00.html?xid=rss-topstories
She told me how the torrent of water stole away her one-year-old daughter. With one child gone, all San San Khing could do was clasp her five-year old son to her chest and hope. By the time the tidal surge triggered by cyclone Nargis receded on May 3, San San Khing was still holding her son, but his body was lifeless. At least, she says, she chanted prayers and gave him a proper burial.
Sitting in a refugee camp in Kaw Hmu township, San San Khing showed little despair for her loss. Twice, her eyes welled up, but she blinked back her tears. Her children were gone. She had no money or food. But instead of grief she seemed terrified at both her urgent need to tell her story and her decision to tell it to a foreign journalist. Burma's ruling military junta could do terrible things to her for such disregard.
Disaster scenes, no matter where they are, tend to take on a terrible similarity. There is the keening for lost family members, the frantic jostling for relief supplies and mounting anger as diseases stalk refugee camps and medicine is in short supply. But Burma has been different. There are third-hand stories of food riots, but in four days of visiting villages in the affected Irrawaddy delta, the dominant emotional themes are fear and resignation. It is a remarkable accomplishment by the junta to have set the bar so low for competence that weariness reigns; few people express any frustration at all at the prospect of slow starvation.
But the junta excels at fear. Twenty minutes before meeting San San Khing, I was stopped at one of several checkpoints that have been set up in disaster-struck areas to keep foreign journalists and aid workers without the proper government permits out. A polite immigration officer took down my passport details, as well as the name and address of my local driver. His colleague told me that the cyclone had blown down his house. They didn't say it, but their demeanor was apologetic — a slight sense of embarrassment that their orders were to keep their wounded country closed.
Then an army jeep screeched up to the checkpoint. A major jumped out, screaming at the two guards. Apparently some foreign NGO workers had slipped past the checkpoint. How could the officers let that happen? The major turned to my driver and continued to rant: how could he bring foreigners to this disaster area? Doing so showed his utter disregard of patriotic duty. The major warned that he would be reporting the driver's serious violation back to military headquarters.
After this episode, my driver thought it prudent to avoid coming on a visit to several storm-ravaged villages. A boat was arranged and in my notebook, he wrote out basic questions in Burmese that I could at least point to when meeting cyclone victims: what is your village name, what is the death toll, have you gotten any government aid?
Luckily, in one village, a tall man walked up to me and said hello. He was the local teacher and could speak a little English. He showed me the rubble of his destroyed schoolhouse. Only two things had been salvaged from the building: a small, waterlogged globe used for geography lessons and a framed photograph of junta leader Than Shwe that normally hung at the front of the classroom. Asked if Than Shwe was a good person, the teacher laughed. 'No, very bad.' Asked why he had salvaged the picture the teacher struggled for the right English word and said, 'scared.' Then he brought his wrists together to mime handcuffs.
A week after the cyclone, no government officials have come to the teacher's village to assess the damage. But fear of the junta pervades. So just to be safe, the picture of General Than Shwe is propped up against one of the schoolhouse's few remaining pillars. As I walk back to my boat, the teacher asks where I come from. I tell him. He asks me whether in my country people can 'say government bad.' I say, yes, we can. He looks at me and shakes his head. Then the teacher makes another gesture. He points at the waterlogged earth and slashes a finger across his neck.
She told me how the torrent of water stole away her one-year-old daughter. With one child gone, all San San Khing could do was clasp her five-year old son to her chest and hope. By the time the tidal surge triggered by cyclone Nargis receded on May 3, San San Khing was still holding her son, but his body was lifeless. At least, she says, she chanted prayers and gave him a proper burial.
Sitting in a refugee camp in Kaw Hmu township, San San Khing showed little despair for her loss. Twice, her eyes welled up, but she blinked back her tears. Her children were gone. She had no money or food. But instead of grief she seemed terrified at both her urgent need to tell her story and her decision to tell it to a foreign journalist. Burma's ruling military junta could do terrible things to her for such disregard.
Disaster scenes, no matter where they are, tend to take on a terrible similarity. There is the keening for lost family members, the frantic jostling for relief supplies and mounting anger as diseases stalk refugee camps and medicine is in short supply. But Burma has been different. There are third-hand stories of food riots, but in four days of visiting villages in the affected Irrawaddy delta, the dominant emotional themes are fear and resignation. It is a remarkable accomplishment by the junta to have set the bar so low for competence that weariness reigns; few people express any frustration at all at the prospect of slow starvation.
But the junta excels at fear. Twenty minutes before meeting San San Khing, I was stopped at one of several checkpoints that have been set up in disaster-struck areas to keep foreign journalists and aid workers without the proper government permits out. A polite immigration officer took down my passport details, as well as the name and address of my local driver. His colleague told me that the cyclone had blown down his house. They didn't say it, but their demeanor was apologetic — a slight sense of embarrassment that their orders were to keep their wounded country closed.
Then an army jeep screeched up to the checkpoint. A major jumped out, screaming at the two guards. Apparently some foreign NGO workers had slipped past the checkpoint. How could the officers let that happen? The major turned to my driver and continued to rant: how could he bring foreigners to this disaster area? Doing so showed his utter disregard of patriotic duty. The major warned that he would be reporting the driver's serious violation back to military headquarters.
After this episode, my driver thought it prudent to avoid coming on a visit to several storm-ravaged villages. A boat was arranged and in my notebook, he wrote out basic questions in Burmese that I could at least point to when meeting cyclone victims: what is your village name, what is the death toll, have you gotten any government aid?
Luckily, in one village, a tall man walked up to me and said hello. He was the local teacher and could speak a little English. He showed me the rubble of his destroyed schoolhouse. Only two things had been salvaged from the building: a small, waterlogged globe used for geography lessons and a framed photograph of junta leader Than Shwe that normally hung at the front of the classroom. Asked if Than Shwe was a good person, the teacher laughed. 'No, very bad.' Asked why he had salvaged the picture the teacher struggled for the right English word and said, 'scared.' Then he brought his wrists together to mime handcuffs.
A week after the cyclone, no government officials have come to the teacher's village to assess the damage. But fear of the junta pervades. So just to be safe, the picture of General Than Shwe is propped up against one of the schoolhouse's few remaining pillars. As I walk back to my boat, the teacher asks where I come from. I tell him. He asks me whether in my country people can 'say government bad.' I say, yes, we can. He looks at me and shakes his head. Then the teacher makes another gesture. He points at the waterlogged earth and slashes a finger across his neck.
Friday, May 09, 2008
so cute, marcus just called me on my hp and complain to me that mabel won't lend him her hp.
then can hear mabel at the background, dunno saying wat.
marcus just want to ask me a chinese hanyu pinyin, so after i told him the answer, i can hear max at the background talking. marcus pass the phone to max and max said a whole string of baby talk, dunno wat he is trying to say. ask him to pass the phone back to 'duh duh' (that is how he call his gor gor) then he again dunno say what 'duh duh.... blah blah blah' then later he said bye.
then can hear mabel at the background, dunno saying wat.
marcus just want to ask me a chinese hanyu pinyin, so after i told him the answer, i can hear max at the background talking. marcus pass the phone to max and max said a whole string of baby talk, dunno wat he is trying to say. ask him to pass the phone back to 'duh duh' (that is how he call his gor gor) then he again dunno say what 'duh duh.... blah blah blah' then later he said bye.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
want to just put my two cents worth of comments on some issues:
HFMD: must be careful esp if you have young children. Even for pri 1 or 2 can still get HFMD. so marcus and mabel have been taking their temperature in school everyday.
seat belts on school bus: well, logically it's safer to belt up when on school bus. Who would want their children to meet with an accident on the way to school? used to recall, i used to take public bus home on my own since i was pri 3. i remembered taking the bus with two of my friends who live in the same neighbourhood. we survived.
oil price rising to record high: this is crazy. someone predicted that it will rose to $200 per barrel in two years time. if someone can predict this, then probably it would happen. last time, they also predicted that oil would rise above the $100 mark, well, it did happen and it's now a quarter past the $100. this is no good. maybe will ask my sister to smuggle some oil back from dubai. haha
cyclone hitting Myanmar: seriously, the junta should relax their rules and allow foreigners to come into their country to help them. i really cannot imagine the scale of devastation. 95% of buildings can be totally destroyed. They seriously should put their citizens above their own interests.
HFMD: must be careful esp if you have young children. Even for pri 1 or 2 can still get HFMD. so marcus and mabel have been taking their temperature in school everyday.
seat belts on school bus: well, logically it's safer to belt up when on school bus. Who would want their children to meet with an accident on the way to school? used to recall, i used to take public bus home on my own since i was pri 3. i remembered taking the bus with two of my friends who live in the same neighbourhood. we survived.
oil price rising to record high: this is crazy. someone predicted that it will rose to $200 per barrel in two years time. if someone can predict this, then probably it would happen. last time, they also predicted that oil would rise above the $100 mark, well, it did happen and it's now a quarter past the $100. this is no good. maybe will ask my sister to smuggle some oil back from dubai. haha
cyclone hitting Myanmar: seriously, the junta should relax their rules and allow foreigners to come into their country to help them. i really cannot imagine the scale of devastation. 95% of buildings can be totally destroyed. They seriously should put their citizens above their own interests.
It's been a very long time since i update...
i was busy and thought that by end of april, things should ease up, but ha, i was wrong. when is work going to ease up? although exams are here, not that i'm free, what i dread is the period after exams. Students are excited with the whole lot of activities plan for them, definitely going to be excited for them, but then, activities need to be planned by someone, and that someone is none other than teachers. so amidst the marking, must plan for post exam activities. hmmm, feeling extreme stressed.
marcus is also having exam this week, probably that adds on to my stress. for him, i know where is standard, as long as he does his best, not careless. but children are children, they need some drilling and practice otherwise they forget. luckily over the weekends, revised with him his maths. but he really got it from me... all the gruelling questions.
mabel, although she is not having exams, she loves to do assessment books. so she will be sitting beside us, doing her assessment books. but priority is marcus, so i only answer her questions when i'm done revising with marcus. but she is the quietly scheming one... must keep an eye on her.
told marcus and mabel that only if marcus pass his chinese, then will bring them to explorer kids at downtown east. must dangle a carrot for him to work towards to.
max is getting more and more cheeky and kpo. he can say a few words. walk walk, no, eat, up, i want, xie xie. took a few of his videos recently. one shows him and marcus playing, the other one him singing. need to go and find my card reader so that i can upload videos and pictures here. and also find the time to do it. he loves to go out. when someone takes the key, he would run to the door and find his shoes to wear. just before dinner time, he would call everyone to go to the dining table to sit down and eat and he has got a loud voice. he is also very quick to copy actions. so marcus and mabel have been feeling the stress to do the 'right' thing and not to do the 'wrong' thing.
family side, sister is going to dubai soon to work. wow, dubai. well, this is part of globalisation. i guess it would be a good change for her.
on labour day, the whole family had a nice family gathering. mum and aunties seem to be still missing grandma. well, can understand cos no matter what, mother and daughter relationship and grandma used to be the moral support, the pillar for the family. it's easy for us to say 'let go, move forward, learn to live without her' well, nobody can replace grandma's role. sometimes, i also dunno what to say to them when they cried. Even on grandma's 49 days, when we went back to her grave, well, i was controlling my tears already, so i can understand how my mum and aunties felt. that day, when i look through the funeral photos, i cried too. but i didn't know that their grief was so deep. i've never really blog about my feelings over grandma's death. will be arranging the photos soon and prob put it up on youtube, but yes, got to find the time for grandma. whenever i'm going to NIE for course, i'll definitely drop by to visit grandma.
i haven't fulfil my promise to grandma. it was always her wish that i go back to church. hmm, i dunno what is stopping me. distance? or was it a church that i can feel comfortable to go to? i know praying every night doesn't lessen my guilt to grandma nor to God, i would still need to read the Bible every day, QT and of course not forgetting to listen to God's words every sunday. i know mum, auntie sally and even steff have asked me recently about choosing a church and going to church weekly.
ok, that's the problem with updating once a while, you got such a long list of things to write down. think i'll stop here.
i was busy and thought that by end of april, things should ease up, but ha, i was wrong. when is work going to ease up? although exams are here, not that i'm free, what i dread is the period after exams. Students are excited with the whole lot of activities plan for them, definitely going to be excited for them, but then, activities need to be planned by someone, and that someone is none other than teachers. so amidst the marking, must plan for post exam activities. hmmm, feeling extreme stressed.
marcus is also having exam this week, probably that adds on to my stress. for him, i know where is standard, as long as he does his best, not careless. but children are children, they need some drilling and practice otherwise they forget. luckily over the weekends, revised with him his maths. but he really got it from me... all the gruelling questions.
mabel, although she is not having exams, she loves to do assessment books. so she will be sitting beside us, doing her assessment books. but priority is marcus, so i only answer her questions when i'm done revising with marcus. but she is the quietly scheming one... must keep an eye on her.
told marcus and mabel that only if marcus pass his chinese, then will bring them to explorer kids at downtown east. must dangle a carrot for him to work towards to.
max is getting more and more cheeky and kpo. he can say a few words. walk walk, no, eat, up, i want, xie xie. took a few of his videos recently. one shows him and marcus playing, the other one him singing. need to go and find my card reader so that i can upload videos and pictures here. and also find the time to do it. he loves to go out. when someone takes the key, he would run to the door and find his shoes to wear. just before dinner time, he would call everyone to go to the dining table to sit down and eat and he has got a loud voice. he is also very quick to copy actions. so marcus and mabel have been feeling the stress to do the 'right' thing and not to do the 'wrong' thing.
family side, sister is going to dubai soon to work. wow, dubai. well, this is part of globalisation. i guess it would be a good change for her.
on labour day, the whole family had a nice family gathering. mum and aunties seem to be still missing grandma. well, can understand cos no matter what, mother and daughter relationship and grandma used to be the moral support, the pillar for the family. it's easy for us to say 'let go, move forward, learn to live without her' well, nobody can replace grandma's role. sometimes, i also dunno what to say to them when they cried. Even on grandma's 49 days, when we went back to her grave, well, i was controlling my tears already, so i can understand how my mum and aunties felt. that day, when i look through the funeral photos, i cried too. but i didn't know that their grief was so deep. i've never really blog about my feelings over grandma's death. will be arranging the photos soon and prob put it up on youtube, but yes, got to find the time for grandma. whenever i'm going to NIE for course, i'll definitely drop by to visit grandma.
i haven't fulfil my promise to grandma. it was always her wish that i go back to church. hmm, i dunno what is stopping me. distance? or was it a church that i can feel comfortable to go to? i know praying every night doesn't lessen my guilt to grandma nor to God, i would still need to read the Bible every day, QT and of course not forgetting to listen to God's words every sunday. i know mum, auntie sally and even steff have asked me recently about choosing a church and going to church weekly.
ok, that's the problem with updating once a while, you got such a long list of things to write down. think i'll stop here.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
ok, things are starting to pick up speed. Just looking forward to the end of april for a little break where things are not so hectic.
Having fun with children. Max is very talkative. although he doesn't speak words, but he's the noisiest. That evening, brought 3 children down to pick leaves. marcus need it for his art. It was a good time with them.
Having fun with children. Max is very talkative. although he doesn't speak words, but he's the noisiest. That evening, brought 3 children down to pick leaves. marcus need it for his art. It was a good time with them.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Marcus - he only got 10 out of 100 for his Chinese test. but he did quite well for his Maths, over 90 marks. English only about over 80 marks. Based on some mathematics calculation, he needs both of his subjects to be 90 over marks in order to cushion his very poor chinese grades. Will see how to interest him to learn Chinese. Teacher's remarks said that Marcus did exceptionally well for his Maths, but he need to be more focus in order to strive better.
Btw, Marcus got a trophy back from school. He was in some spelling competition and he got fifth in his level. Am very proud of him.
Mabel - for her, no Chinese test. she also got 90 over marks for Maths and English about 85 marks. Not too bad. Teacher's remarks, she strives to excel in her studies. Which i totally agree with the teacher. If she were to ever feel stressed, trust me, it's she pressuring herself. not me pressuring her to do well.
Max - dunno where he learn this 'uh-oh' thing. When he did something bad, like he throw the ball and it hit the tv, he will go 'uh-oh'... juz like teletubby. and he is very sensitive. when he really did something wrong, before anyone can scold him, his eyes are already teary. If you raise your voice any louder, he will sure to cry. Very clever boy, cry first, then no one got the heart to scold him.
Btw, Marcus got a trophy back from school. He was in some spelling competition and he got fifth in his level. Am very proud of him.
Mabel - for her, no Chinese test. she also got 90 over marks for Maths and English about 85 marks. Not too bad. Teacher's remarks, she strives to excel in her studies. Which i totally agree with the teacher. If she were to ever feel stressed, trust me, it's she pressuring herself. not me pressuring her to do well.
Max - dunno where he learn this 'uh-oh' thing. When he did something bad, like he throw the ball and it hit the tv, he will go 'uh-oh'... juz like teletubby. and he is very sensitive. when he really did something wrong, before anyone can scold him, his eyes are already teary. If you raise your voice any louder, he will sure to cry. Very clever boy, cry first, then no one got the heart to scold him.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
settled and back.... but i've lost all inspiration to write about grandma. There were many thoughts and memories that i wanted to share, but was afraid that sharing would bring back memories, so i've decided not to, maybe until one day, i'm comfortable with it, then maybe
pay day means spending money day. But this is due for my children. they have been cooped up at home for the past few days and finally, today, they got a chance to go out in the morning. We have a good breakfast. then to grocery shopping.
well, finally, Max can call me Mama... he is very cute, always trying to make people smile and laugh with his funny actions. He enjoyes playing with marcus and mabel. It is indeed peaceful and a great joy to see three of them playing together.
Oh yah, marcus got a trophy from school the other day, some spelling competition. am really proud of him.
really taking it easy now as i can feel the toll mentally. For the past few days, i've been feeling chest pain when i breathe, sometimes it's so bad that it hurts all the way to my shoulders and back. Then breathing becomes painful, cos with every breath, it hurts. have not been to see the doc.... i guess it's due to not enough sleep and stress. so i'm taking it easy this holiday and work will come next week
pay day means spending money day. But this is due for my children. they have been cooped up at home for the past few days and finally, today, they got a chance to go out in the morning. We have a good breakfast. then to grocery shopping.
well, finally, Max can call me Mama... he is very cute, always trying to make people smile and laugh with his funny actions. He enjoyes playing with marcus and mabel. It is indeed peaceful and a great joy to see three of them playing together.
Oh yah, marcus got a trophy from school the other day, some spelling competition. am really proud of him.
really taking it easy now as i can feel the toll mentally. For the past few days, i've been feeling chest pain when i breathe, sometimes it's so bad that it hurts all the way to my shoulders and back. Then breathing becomes painful, cos with every breath, it hurts. have not been to see the doc.... i guess it's due to not enough sleep and stress. so i'm taking it easy this holiday and work will come next week
Monday, March 03, 2008
Won't be going krabi. funny, sometimes God has His plan. The more you wanted something, the more He doesn't give you. I dun blame Him, deep down i know that He knows best what is best for me, He has his plans for me.
so i'll take it in stride.
anyway, will be missing in action for this week. grandma pass away, after today, dun think i'll be free to log in to internet. Just back to school to settle some things and will be busy. When the funeral is over, everything is over, i'll dedicate a post and a video to my beloved grandma.
so i'll take it in stride.
anyway, will be missing in action for this week. grandma pass away, after today, dun think i'll be free to log in to internet. Just back to school to settle some things and will be busy. When the funeral is over, everything is over, i'll dedicate a post and a video to my beloved grandma.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
i want to disown Max. Until now still dunno how to call mummy. he calls everybody except me. even he knows how to call 'tin', the maid.
so last nite, when i carry him and put him on the bed.... he keeps calling 'tin' 'tin' 'tin', i got so fed up, scolded him. well, i spoke to him in a very loud voice. told him that i went thru c-section for nothing, had him for 9 months for nothing.
then his tears welled up and he cried. papa has to carry him and comfort him.
anyway, didn't have a good sleep last nite. heartache. until now when i'm blogging, i'm crying. so painful when your own child dun want to call you. should have given him away when he was born, save me the heartache now.
i'm not speaking to Max for the next few days. angry with him, haven't got over. He hurt me really bad. this, i think i owe him one.
so last nite, when i carry him and put him on the bed.... he keeps calling 'tin' 'tin' 'tin', i got so fed up, scolded him. well, i spoke to him in a very loud voice. told him that i went thru c-section for nothing, had him for 9 months for nothing.
then his tears welled up and he cried. papa has to carry him and comfort him.
anyway, didn't have a good sleep last nite. heartache. until now when i'm blogging, i'm crying. so painful when your own child dun want to call you. should have given him away when he was born, save me the heartache now.
i'm not speaking to Max for the next few days. angry with him, haven't got over. He hurt me really bad. this, i think i owe him one.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
hmmm, 2 things.
heard on the news last night that the monthly household income for Singapore has increased by 10%, the average household income is $6,000 plus.
Where do they get that information?????????????? how many percent of the household is below that average figure that they give? do they have the figure?????? Then they talk about the bridging the gap between the poor and the rich.... great, that leaves the middle income group people no where.... come on, if your household income is $4k plus, you are neither too poor to qualify for anything nor too rich as the average figure in Singapore is $6k plus. Hate this stuck in the middle kind of feeling.
must put on record that i want to thank my sister and my auntie for extending a helping line this month. It's like you are stuck at the bottom of the well, then some people are kind enought to let down the rope to give you a helping hand. Not like some other people, instead of letting down a rope, they throw a stone down at you and leave you deeper in the shit. so i'm really grateful to my sister and auntie. really appreciate their act. They are the ones who made me feel the real meaning of family.
heard on the news last night that the monthly household income for Singapore has increased by 10%, the average household income is $6,000 plus.
Where do they get that information?????????????? how many percent of the household is below that average figure that they give? do they have the figure?????? Then they talk about the bridging the gap between the poor and the rich.... great, that leaves the middle income group people no where.... come on, if your household income is $4k plus, you are neither too poor to qualify for anything nor too rich as the average figure in Singapore is $6k plus. Hate this stuck in the middle kind of feeling.
must put on record that i want to thank my sister and my auntie for extending a helping line this month. It's like you are stuck at the bottom of the well, then some people are kind enought to let down the rope to give you a helping hand. Not like some other people, instead of letting down a rope, they throw a stone down at you and leave you deeper in the shit. so i'm really grateful to my sister and auntie. really appreciate their act. They are the ones who made me feel the real meaning of family.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Wall Street finished mostly higher Tuesday after billionaire investor Warren Buffett offered to help out troubled bond insurers, easing some of the market's concerns about further deterioration in the credit markets. The Dow Jones industrials rose more than 130 points
see, a really wealthy man... once he says something, what he says has an effect on the stock market, including Asia markets!!
he's damn filthy super rich...
wish i can have the same effect...'billionaire Sandra...blah blah blah...' haha, dreaming....
still in school, trying to catch up with my marking, thinking of my children at home.... esp Max! so cute.
marking and listening to music at the same time, long time dun have this luxury... luxury of listening to music and enjoying it, though i can minus the marking. imagine, so busy until no time to enjoy music. being able to mark in school is also a luxury for me...
see, a really wealthy man... once he says something, what he says has an effect on the stock market, including Asia markets!!
he's damn filthy super rich...
wish i can have the same effect...'billionaire Sandra...blah blah blah...' haha, dreaming....
still in school, trying to catch up with my marking, thinking of my children at home.... esp Max! so cute.
marking and listening to music at the same time, long time dun have this luxury... luxury of listening to music and enjoying it, though i can minus the marking. imagine, so busy until no time to enjoy music. being able to mark in school is also a luxury for me...
Monday, February 11, 2008
grandma is not doing fine lately.
Since jan 31, she has been in and out of the hospital 3x already.
1st time: NUH, main artery blocked. did ballooning. major heart attack, was lucky to survive.
2nd time: blood sugar too low. was slurring. was admitted as afraid it was 2nd heart attack. short stay, discharged on new year's eve
3rd time: pneumonia. still in hospital now.
went to see her yesterday. just nice it's lunch time. fed her some porridge and watermelon. she is so weak.
ever since her major heart attack, her heart has been very weak. I juz wonder how long she is going to survive all these ordeals and when she is not going to survive. it's not that i'm heartless and wishes that she dies, i juz feel that, it's less painful for her and less painful for her relatives to see her like that. really pains my heart to see her suffering at this age and yet there is nothing we can do to relieve her pain.
so it's not a bad idea to go. moreover, my grandma, being a staunch Christian, i believe that when she dies, she will definitely by up there with God. Oh yah, btw, when she was in critical condition in ICU the first time in hospital, she saw her angel.
anyway, i believe things happen for a reason. last time my mum's side of family don't really understand when my mil was in and out of hospital and the mental stress that a family face when a family member is critically ill. so now perhaps it's god's way of letting them learnt a lesson. Watching a family member so critically ill, you will tend to see light many things, especially money. i always believe, when we are born, we come with nothing. when we die, we will bring nothing. These eight words (in Chinese) has been carved in my mind since late last year. Of course, i was angry and unhappy when my husband's business was 'cheated' of 10k of his profit, but i know there is retribution and i can see it happening already. i rest my case.
anyway, i wish her all the best.
Since jan 31, she has been in and out of the hospital 3x already.
1st time: NUH, main artery blocked. did ballooning. major heart attack, was lucky to survive.
2nd time: blood sugar too low. was slurring. was admitted as afraid it was 2nd heart attack. short stay, discharged on new year's eve
3rd time: pneumonia. still in hospital now.
went to see her yesterday. just nice it's lunch time. fed her some porridge and watermelon. she is so weak.
ever since her major heart attack, her heart has been very weak. I juz wonder how long she is going to survive all these ordeals and when she is not going to survive. it's not that i'm heartless and wishes that she dies, i juz feel that, it's less painful for her and less painful for her relatives to see her like that. really pains my heart to see her suffering at this age and yet there is nothing we can do to relieve her pain.
so it's not a bad idea to go. moreover, my grandma, being a staunch Christian, i believe that when she dies, she will definitely by up there with God. Oh yah, btw, when she was in critical condition in ICU the first time in hospital, she saw her angel.
anyway, i believe things happen for a reason. last time my mum's side of family don't really understand when my mil was in and out of hospital and the mental stress that a family face when a family member is critically ill. so now perhaps it's god's way of letting them learnt a lesson. Watching a family member so critically ill, you will tend to see light many things, especially money. i always believe, when we are born, we come with nothing. when we die, we will bring nothing. These eight words (in Chinese) has been carved in my mind since late last year. Of course, i was angry and unhappy when my husband's business was 'cheated' of 10k of his profit, but i know there is retribution and i can see it happening already. i rest my case.
anyway, i wish her all the best.
so darn busy at work before cny and after cny
so during cny, my mind literally took off 3 days. started working on sunday, the day just before school reopens.
now back at work, what can i say, so darn busy and dunno why put in so much.
cny just comes and goes so fast, no mj, so boringggggggggggggggggg! but lots of people come to my house this year, my house became the headquarter. it's funny how people can judge you by the house you own. this year, suddenly so many relatives come and visit my mother in law and father in law. it's actually a good feeling, no need to rush to go out, just stay at home and wait for people to come.
lucky, went marketing with mil before cny, stock up enough food to cook for guests.
oh yah, talking about food, i've never bought 1kg $68 worth of fish. it's only 8 pieces of fish. this is the kind of fish that teochew people eat, once a year only during cny. my mil fried it. very delicious. i'm not the eat fish kind of person, but 1kg $68, i make sure i savour every part of the fish including the eyes.
i also had a good time with my children. marcus had a good time catching up on his games, just check on him occasionally, he'll update you on his games.
had a good time with mabel, playing sudoku with her, painting nail polish, bathing for her and both of us had a good time playing with max too.
max is slowly progressing a little. he still can't say much thing except for papa, yeye, yiyi, Tin, jiejie, mum mum (for eating). he still refuses to call mummy. but i think i heard him sound something like 'sandra'. i've passed the job of teaching him say 'mummy' to mabel. the jie jie will train him.
as usual, he's fun to be around with. although he doesn't pronounce much words, he has a way to express himself. if he wants you to sit beside him to play the toys with him, he'll point to the floor and ask you to sit down. he'll know when is the time to go out, he'll go and bring his own shoes. you will pull your leg to indicate that he wants you to follow him. and yesterday when i bring him to the market, he was suddenly like very close to me. refuse to come down to walk, wants me to carry him, then he'll hug you, play with your hair, just place his head on your shoulder.
so during cny, my mind literally took off 3 days. started working on sunday, the day just before school reopens.
now back at work, what can i say, so darn busy and dunno why put in so much.
cny just comes and goes so fast, no mj, so boringggggggggggggggggg! but lots of people come to my house this year, my house became the headquarter. it's funny how people can judge you by the house you own. this year, suddenly so many relatives come and visit my mother in law and father in law. it's actually a good feeling, no need to rush to go out, just stay at home and wait for people to come.
lucky, went marketing with mil before cny, stock up enough food to cook for guests.
oh yah, talking about food, i've never bought 1kg $68 worth of fish. it's only 8 pieces of fish. this is the kind of fish that teochew people eat, once a year only during cny. my mil fried it. very delicious. i'm not the eat fish kind of person, but 1kg $68, i make sure i savour every part of the fish including the eyes.
i also had a good time with my children. marcus had a good time catching up on his games, just check on him occasionally, he'll update you on his games.
had a good time with mabel, playing sudoku with her, painting nail polish, bathing for her and both of us had a good time playing with max too.
max is slowly progressing a little. he still can't say much thing except for papa, yeye, yiyi, Tin, jiejie, mum mum (for eating). he still refuses to call mummy. but i think i heard him sound something like 'sandra'. i've passed the job of teaching him say 'mummy' to mabel. the jie jie will train him.
as usual, he's fun to be around with. although he doesn't pronounce much words, he has a way to express himself. if he wants you to sit beside him to play the toys with him, he'll point to the floor and ask you to sit down. he'll know when is the time to go out, he'll go and bring his own shoes. you will pull your leg to indicate that he wants you to follow him. and yesterday when i bring him to the market, he was suddenly like very close to me. refuse to come down to walk, wants me to carry him, then he'll hug you, play with your hair, just place his head on your shoulder.
some manager from nokia sent me an email saying i won a million pounds. this is my reply to the manager:
Hi Mr Manager,
too bad, i'm situated at a remote part of world. I do not think it's worth my while to go to Europe to collect my prize. You can duly give the prize to some other fools.
regards
lucky winner/lucky fool
Hi Mr Manager,
too bad, i'm situated at a remote part of world. I do not think it's worth my while to go to Europe to collect my prize. You can duly give the prize to some other fools.
regards
lucky winner/lucky fool
Monday, January 28, 2008
ok, i dunno what to blog about the O level results. I'm pleasantly surprised with 4E1's results, i'm very proud of them. I'm disappointed with 4E3's results, didn't expect so low. was expecting at least 65%. 4E5, well, as expected. but what i'm surprised was, some unexpected students actually pass my Humanities!!!
so yes, it gives me some motivation to press on. i dunno how to describe the feeling, when the students say thank you to you. You really feel like seeing your 'babies' grow up. i really dunno how to describe that warm feeling you have. There are definitely pain during the process of teaching them, but on that day, to see them graduate, that feeling is indescribable.
I'm really convicted and convinced to my passion. These are the un-measurable things that keeps you going on in the job. no money can quantify that feeling.
to all my students, no matter good or bad results, it is only the beginning of your young adulthood. There is still a long way to go. remember, pathways are carved out by humans... the different paths are there, you just have to search harder and all roads will lead to Rome. Success in life is not measured by how much money you have nor how big a house/car you have. Success in life is the right values you hold dear to your heart. To err is human, most important is to learn from mistakes and move on. No point holding on to the past. Wish all of you success. Wish i can give all of you a hug.
so yes, it gives me some motivation to press on. i dunno how to describe the feeling, when the students say thank you to you. You really feel like seeing your 'babies' grow up. i really dunno how to describe that warm feeling you have. There are definitely pain during the process of teaching them, but on that day, to see them graduate, that feeling is indescribable.
I'm really convicted and convinced to my passion. These are the un-measurable things that keeps you going on in the job. no money can quantify that feeling.
to all my students, no matter good or bad results, it is only the beginning of your young adulthood. There is still a long way to go. remember, pathways are carved out by humans... the different paths are there, you just have to search harder and all roads will lead to Rome. Success in life is not measured by how much money you have nor how big a house/car you have. Success in life is the right values you hold dear to your heart. To err is human, most important is to learn from mistakes and move on. No point holding on to the past. Wish all of you success. Wish i can give all of you a hug.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
last night went to kbox to sing out the blues and depression and frustration. It was good. It has also been a long time since i step into karaoke. I think it was since 2006, a few months before Max was born.
It is actually a long story... at that time a lot of songs have a lot of meaning. The last kbox, i can still remember, it was with the kids, but we only stayed for a very short time. about an hour or so only... that was the shortest time i stayed in karaoke. the reason we left hurriedly, i found out later was because that time, hubby could feel that all the songs that was sung has got meanings. he could feel that i wasn't singing the songs for him.
i guess for so long, we didn't step into karaoke, i guess it's because of this. eventually last nite, i confronted my fears.
anyway, i had a good time singing, shouting and boy, we are still good at it.
it was a good way for me to release my stress.... tomorrow is the beginning of my dark period, after the karaoke session, i feel less stress now and i'm better prepared to face it.
It is actually a long story... at that time a lot of songs have a lot of meaning. The last kbox, i can still remember, it was with the kids, but we only stayed for a very short time. about an hour or so only... that was the shortest time i stayed in karaoke. the reason we left hurriedly, i found out later was because that time, hubby could feel that all the songs that was sung has got meanings. he could feel that i wasn't singing the songs for him.
i guess for so long, we didn't step into karaoke, i guess it's because of this. eventually last nite, i confronted my fears.
anyway, i had a good time singing, shouting and boy, we are still good at it.
it was a good way for me to release my stress.... tomorrow is the beginning of my dark period, after the karaoke session, i feel less stress now and i'm better prepared to face it.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
on 21/1 will begin a period of dark days, dark mood for me....
there is a redeployment of teaching classes for me.... on one hand, i understand the school's needs, on the other hand, i can feel that it's up to my neck already.
dark days because i'm not happy, and i've been sighing so many times already
dark mood = just another word for depression
although this is temporary, but i do not know how temporary. 3 months? 6 months?
there is a redeployment of teaching classes for me.... on one hand, i understand the school's needs, on the other hand, i can feel that it's up to my neck already.
dark days because i'm not happy, and i've been sighing so many times already
dark mood = just another word for depression
although this is temporary, but i do not know how temporary. 3 months? 6 months?
Friday, January 18, 2008
another of those mail: (for reading pleasure only, dun ever believe in it and send money to them)
i will not even bother to paragraph it....
FROM RICHARD LEMO. AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING UNIT. BANK OF AFRICA. OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA-FASO DIRECT TEL. 00 226 78 78 87 16. (TOP SECRET) I am Mr.Richard Lemo, the director in charge of auditing and accounting section of International Bank of Africa Ouagadougou Burkina-faso in West Africa with due respect and regard. I have decided to contact you on a business transaction that will be very beneficial to both of us at the end of the transaction. During our investigation and auditing in this bank, my department came across a very huge sum of money belonging to a deceased person who died on 31st July 2000 in a plane crash and the fund has been dormant in his account with this Bank without any claim of the fund in our custody either from his family or relation before our discovery to this development.View the website for the plane crash, http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm Although personally, I keep this information secret within myself and partners to enable the whole plans and idea be Profitable and successful during the time of execution. The said amount was U.S $7.2M (seven million two hundred United States dollars). As it may interest you to know, I got your impressive information through the Bukinab chamber of commerce on foreign business relations here in Ouaga. Burkina-Faso. Meanwhile all the whole arrangement to put claim over this fund as the bonafide next of kin to the deceased, get the required approval and transfer this money to a foreign account has been put in place and directives and needed information will be relayed to you as soon as you indicated your interest and willingness to assist us and also benefit your self to this great business opportunity.In fact I could have done this deal alone but because of my position in this country as a civil servant(A Banker),we are not allowed to operate a foreign account and would eventually raise an eye brow on my side during the time of transfer because I work in this bank. This is the actual reason why it will require a second party or fellow who will forward claims as the next of kin with affidavit of trust of oath to the Bank and also present a foreign account where he will need the money to be re-transferred into on his request as it may be after due verification and clarification by the correspondent branch of the bank where the whole money will be remitted from to your own designation bank account. I will not fail to inform you that this transaction is 100% risk free. On smooth conclusion of this transaction, you will be entitled to 40% of the total sum as gratification,, while 60% will be for me. Please, you have been adviced to keep "top secret" as I am still in service and intend to retire from service after we conclude this deal with you. I will be monitoring the whole situation here in this bank until you confirm the money in your account and ask me to come down to your country for subsequent sharing of the fund according to percentages previously indicated and further investment, either in your country or any country you advice us to invest in. All other necessary vital information will be send to you when I hear from you. I look forward to receive your phone number and email so that I will get back to you. Yours faithfully, Mr.Richard Lemo
oops, he said that this is top secret, now that i'm post it in my blog... i hope he's not in trouble... but what the heck, the info in this email is fake..... duh
i will not even bother to paragraph it....
FROM RICHARD LEMO. AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING UNIT. BANK OF AFRICA. OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA-FASO DIRECT TEL. 00 226 78 78 87 16. (TOP SECRET) I am Mr.Richard Lemo, the director in charge of auditing and accounting section of International Bank of Africa Ouagadougou Burkina-faso in West Africa with due respect and regard. I have decided to contact you on a business transaction that will be very beneficial to both of us at the end of the transaction. During our investigation and auditing in this bank, my department came across a very huge sum of money belonging to a deceased person who died on 31st July 2000 in a plane crash and the fund has been dormant in his account with this Bank without any claim of the fund in our custody either from his family or relation before our discovery to this development.View the website for the plane crash, http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm Although personally, I keep this information secret within myself and partners to enable the whole plans and idea be Profitable and successful during the time of execution. The said amount was U.S $7.2M (seven million two hundred United States dollars). As it may interest you to know, I got your impressive information through the Bukinab chamber of commerce on foreign business relations here in Ouaga. Burkina-Faso. Meanwhile all the whole arrangement to put claim over this fund as the bonafide next of kin to the deceased, get the required approval and transfer this money to a foreign account has been put in place and directives and needed information will be relayed to you as soon as you indicated your interest and willingness to assist us and also benefit your self to this great business opportunity.In fact I could have done this deal alone but because of my position in this country as a civil servant(A Banker),we are not allowed to operate a foreign account and would eventually raise an eye brow on my side during the time of transfer because I work in this bank. This is the actual reason why it will require a second party or fellow who will forward claims as the next of kin with affidavit of trust of oath to the Bank and also present a foreign account where he will need the money to be re-transferred into on his request as it may be after due verification and clarification by the correspondent branch of the bank where the whole money will be remitted from to your own designation bank account. I will not fail to inform you that this transaction is 100% risk free. On smooth conclusion of this transaction, you will be entitled to 40% of the total sum as gratification,, while 60% will be for me. Please, you have been adviced to keep "top secret" as I am still in service and intend to retire from service after we conclude this deal with you. I will be monitoring the whole situation here in this bank until you confirm the money in your account and ask me to come down to your country for subsequent sharing of the fund according to percentages previously indicated and further investment, either in your country or any country you advice us to invest in. All other necessary vital information will be send to you when I hear from you. I look forward to receive your phone number and email so that I will get back to you. Yours faithfully, Mr.Richard Lemo
oops, he said that this is top secret, now that i'm post it in my blog... i hope he's not in trouble... but what the heck, the info in this email is fake..... duh
Thursday, January 17, 2008
recently, i've been getting emails like this:-
Dear Friend,
Let me start by introducing myself.I am Mr. SONG LILE directorof operations of the Hang Seng Bank Ltd.I will need you to assistme in executing this Business Project from Hong Kong to yourcountry.Nineteen millions Five Hundred Thousand United StateDollars only in my branch. Once the funds have been transferredto your nominated bank account we shall then share in the ratioof 70% for me,30% for you.
My private email:(mrsonglilee04@yahoo.com.hk).
Regards,Song Lile
Now we all know that these are scam emails. in fact, this is the third one that i received this month. the first one was from some princess dunno wat, the other one was familiar, somewhere from Nigeria. so this time, i really cannot tahan already, so i replied this guy with this email.
Dear Mr Song,
i wish i can help you. however, i'm just a nobody in Singapore. Perhaps you want to try our national banks, the director might be able to help you. our national banks are DBS, POSB, OCBC and UOB.
alternatively, you can invest in citigroup as they are looking for investors to bail them out of the subprime bad debts.
regards
friend
how's that?
Dear Friend,
Let me start by introducing myself.I am Mr. SONG LILE directorof operations of the Hang Seng Bank Ltd.I will need you to assistme in executing this Business Project from Hong Kong to yourcountry.Nineteen millions Five Hundred Thousand United StateDollars only in my branch. Once the funds have been transferredto your nominated bank account we shall then share in the ratioof 70% for me,30% for you.
My private email:(mrsonglilee04@yahoo.com.hk).
Regards,Song Lile
Now we all know that these are scam emails. in fact, this is the third one that i received this month. the first one was from some princess dunno wat, the other one was familiar, somewhere from Nigeria. so this time, i really cannot tahan already, so i replied this guy with this email.
Dear Mr Song,
i wish i can help you. however, i'm just a nobody in Singapore. Perhaps you want to try our national banks, the director might be able to help you. our national banks are DBS, POSB, OCBC and UOB.
alternatively, you can invest in citigroup as they are looking for investors to bail them out of the subprime bad debts.
regards
friend
how's that?
Friday, January 11, 2008
hmmm, let me see... every day is like eating reunion dinner for my family. For those who are not aware, my in laws are staying together with me now, and last nite, my father in law came over, today being his off day... and my sister and her boyfriend also dropped by last night to see marcus and mabel, so dinner time was like a huge reunion dinner. We had vege, fish, chicken wings, soup, braised meat... everyone just sit and crowd round the rectangle table. The feeling is great! really, it's good to have dinner as one big family. i think neighbours who walked past must be thinking what a big family we have.
sometimes, my mother in law cooks and invites my mum over for dinner on sat... somtimes, my sister in law will come on sat, so on saturday nights, it's also a big reunion. with the children, seated at the another small table.
We used to joke, rehearsal for chinese new year.
well, when family members are staying together, it's really good, because we help out with one another, we tend to think less of ourselves. This is a good training for marcus and mabel too. giving in to their elders and helping out around the house. and partly because of this, this makes me feel very assured when i'm working and thus i tend to work until really late at night, into the evening, 7 pm, then i'll leave the school to go home. well, i know i can't get anything done at home, so i better finish more work before i go home.
and because all of us like to watch the 9pm, channel 8 show, including marcus, (yes, including marcus and he reads the English subtitles) it's also a great feeling when the whole family gathers round a 20" LCD tv, (haha, yah, it's a little small, considering that all of us are watching it) watching tv. great feeling. i dunno how to explain that warm feeling.
oh yah, marcus is bugging me to get a bathtub for his toilet, darn... promised him last christmas, now i think i have to postpone it till this christmas.
sometimes, my mother in law cooks and invites my mum over for dinner on sat... somtimes, my sister in law will come on sat, so on saturday nights, it's also a big reunion. with the children, seated at the another small table.
We used to joke, rehearsal for chinese new year.
well, when family members are staying together, it's really good, because we help out with one another, we tend to think less of ourselves. This is a good training for marcus and mabel too. giving in to their elders and helping out around the house. and partly because of this, this makes me feel very assured when i'm working and thus i tend to work until really late at night, into the evening, 7 pm, then i'll leave the school to go home. well, i know i can't get anything done at home, so i better finish more work before i go home.
and because all of us like to watch the 9pm, channel 8 show, including marcus, (yes, including marcus and he reads the English subtitles) it's also a great feeling when the whole family gathers round a 20" LCD tv, (haha, yah, it's a little small, considering that all of us are watching it) watching tv. great feeling. i dunno how to explain that warm feeling.
oh yah, marcus is bugging me to get a bathtub for his toilet, darn... promised him last christmas, now i think i have to postpone it till this christmas.
Friday, January 04, 2008
i dunno where to begin. it's regarding the transportation problem for my children. we are still working out how best to solve the issue without upsetting much of our working schedule.
some may say transfer school.... but let me tell you, being in a new school has a lot of impacts on a child. for example, mabel, she had a nightmare last nite and she cried very loudly and she refuses to tell me what is her nightmare.
on wed nite, marcus told me over dinner that he loves his school. when i try to sound out to them that i may want to change school for them, they said no.
children adapt fast... not true, the impact on them is unmeasurable. i do not have the heart to upset them by changing school for them. it is not so simple....
anyway, i'm also upset now.... a little demoralised by work.... i shall not elaborate, there are eyes and ears on the internet.... upset
some may say transfer school.... but let me tell you, being in a new school has a lot of impacts on a child. for example, mabel, she had a nightmare last nite and she cried very loudly and she refuses to tell me what is her nightmare.
on wed nite, marcus told me over dinner that he loves his school. when i try to sound out to them that i may want to change school for them, they said no.
children adapt fast... not true, the impact on them is unmeasurable. i do not have the heart to upset them by changing school for them. it is not so simple....
anyway, i'm also upset now.... a little demoralised by work.... i shall not elaborate, there are eyes and ears on the internet.... upset
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
2nd Jan... first day of school.Think it was a mad rush for most parents early in the morning as their child might still be sleeping in bed.. and many anxious parents whose child may be staring pri 1 or sec 1.
i was also in a rush too this morning to get my two children ready for school. hmmm, the maid obviously was not of much help lor... marcus even chided her for 2 things she did wrongly in the morning. good, let my son chide her, save my breath. in case you are thinking, i'm mean to my maid for allowing my son to scold her, let me elaborate on the two incidents.
1) Despite being with us half a year, she still can't differentiate between marcus toothbrush and mabel's toothbrush, and marcus is those kind of perfectionist person, he hates it when his things are not in the right order.
2) marcus has a sensitive nose and of all things, she go and put powder on marcus face!! yes, marus' face. no wonder he got fed up... i also told her off. Myanmar and Singapore are different, in Myanmar, i know many people including adults and children put this white stuff on their face, but duh, we are in Singapore!! the powder on the nose thing really piss me off in the morning.
end of day 1, voice is breaking, feet is tired and head is having a splitting headache... really splitting.
i was also in a rush too this morning to get my two children ready for school. hmmm, the maid obviously was not of much help lor... marcus even chided her for 2 things she did wrongly in the morning. good, let my son chide her, save my breath. in case you are thinking, i'm mean to my maid for allowing my son to scold her, let me elaborate on the two incidents.
1) Despite being with us half a year, she still can't differentiate between marcus toothbrush and mabel's toothbrush, and marcus is those kind of perfectionist person, he hates it when his things are not in the right order.
2) marcus has a sensitive nose and of all things, she go and put powder on marcus face!! yes, marus' face. no wonder he got fed up... i also told her off. Myanmar and Singapore are different, in Myanmar, i know many people including adults and children put this white stuff on their face, but duh, we are in Singapore!! the powder on the nose thing really piss me off in the morning.
end of day 1, voice is breaking, feet is tired and head is having a splitting headache... really splitting.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Well, it's the last day of 2007. Tomorrow will be the new year... 365 days juz gone like that.... At 12 midnight, all will be shouting happy new year... the day will still be the same, the sun will still rise from the east. What makes today so special besides that it's the last day of the year? I guess, being the last day, people will look back in 2007 and think about their achievements and challenges.
there is a reason for saying happy new year. nobody wants a sad new year. so here's wishing all a happy new year.
there is a reason for saying happy new year. nobody wants a sad new year. so here's wishing all a happy new year.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
someone commented that i've not updated my blog as frequently as ever... well, to that comment, yes, it's true.... why? i also dunno. maybe i do not have the time, maybe i do not have the inspiration.
so for this post, what should i say? that day, someone asked me how was the festive season, i juz replied as usual. nothing much to be merry about. the person said that i sounded moody or sounded depressed.
strange thing is, i'm neither happy nor depressed. yes, no doubt, when the festive season is here, i can be merry and 'entertain' family members and looks like i have enjoyed the gathering, but in fact, deep down i know, it's all superficial. then why am i there? becos of my children. bring them there to enjoy the festivity, the mood and of course, the presents. They only wanted to see my children, not me. my mood has been neutral. nothing excites me, nothing depresses me. i just feel that i'm transient in this world, in this life. my soul no longer belongs to the world. i'm a living dead.
ok, the above sounds extreme, i just feel that life is transitory. things in life are bound to change, pass and come to an end. people said to live life to the fullest. i think the problem is, the more you are enjoying your life (living life to the fullest), the more you indulge in your life, the more reluctant you will be to go. yup, i guess that is life to me now.
back to my children, well, they are happy, especially with their new xmas presents. now they have their own email addresses and are chatting with my sister, with me sometimes or with my cousin or with their grandma. well, they learn. so cyberwellness is what i have to teach them now. There are 2 schools of thoughts in letting your children have their own email address or letting them chat. some feels that it's ok to let them chat, some feels that chatting online for young children is no no... well, there has got to be a balance. letting them chat, well, plus point, they learn all the time, especially with spelling new words. the other school of thought is not wrong, given the dangers of cyberspace now, well, as i said, there has got to be a balance. i always believe the more you stop them, the more they are curious and want to try out. i'm not saying that i will let them chat freely online, i still impose a curfew and i check their friends. anyway, all their friends now are family members. so balance.
Max, well, he's growing up well and fine. very naughty and cheeky. and clever at times. cannot tahan him.
so for this post, what should i say? that day, someone asked me how was the festive season, i juz replied as usual. nothing much to be merry about. the person said that i sounded moody or sounded depressed.
strange thing is, i'm neither happy nor depressed. yes, no doubt, when the festive season is here, i can be merry and 'entertain' family members and looks like i have enjoyed the gathering, but in fact, deep down i know, it's all superficial. then why am i there? becos of my children. bring them there to enjoy the festivity, the mood and of course, the presents. They only wanted to see my children, not me. my mood has been neutral. nothing excites me, nothing depresses me. i just feel that i'm transient in this world, in this life. my soul no longer belongs to the world. i'm a living dead.
ok, the above sounds extreme, i just feel that life is transitory. things in life are bound to change, pass and come to an end. people said to live life to the fullest. i think the problem is, the more you are enjoying your life (living life to the fullest), the more you indulge in your life, the more reluctant you will be to go. yup, i guess that is life to me now.
back to my children, well, they are happy, especially with their new xmas presents. now they have their own email addresses and are chatting with my sister, with me sometimes or with my cousin or with their grandma. well, they learn. so cyberwellness is what i have to teach them now. There are 2 schools of thoughts in letting your children have their own email address or letting them chat. some feels that it's ok to let them chat, some feels that chatting online for young children is no no... well, there has got to be a balance. letting them chat, well, plus point, they learn all the time, especially with spelling new words. the other school of thought is not wrong, given the dangers of cyberspace now, well, as i said, there has got to be a balance. i always believe the more you stop them, the more they are curious and want to try out. i'm not saying that i will let them chat freely online, i still impose a curfew and i check their friends. anyway, all their friends now are family members. so balance.
Max, well, he's growing up well and fine. very naughty and cheeky. and clever at times. cannot tahan him.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Mabel went over to my mum's place to stay on friday night and i went to fetch her back on monday morning. She followed my mum to a wedding dinner on sunday nite, that's why this arrangement.
on sunday night, marcus was playing on the computer when suddenly he turned around and cried. i asked him what happened, after much coaxing, he told me he missed mabel and wants mabel to come home. My first reaction was, to hug him and assure him that i'll be fetching mabel the next day.
i juz hugged him and cried together with him. He's so cute. no doubt, sometimes, he bullies his sister, but deep down, he needs her. it is very heartwarming to know that he actually misses his sister.
on sunday night, marcus was playing on the computer when suddenly he turned around and cried. i asked him what happened, after much coaxing, he told me he missed mabel and wants mabel to come home. My first reaction was, to hug him and assure him that i'll be fetching mabel the next day.
i juz hugged him and cried together with him. He's so cute. no doubt, sometimes, he bullies his sister, but deep down, he needs her. it is very heartwarming to know that he actually misses his sister.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
hmmm, where do i begin? it's really not an easy task to be a care giver of a disabled person. I just learnt that there are some things in life that we take for granted and only when you are caring for someone disabled or being one yourself, then you realise it.
take for example, we all take for granted how fortunate we are to have two legs. imagine if you have only one leg, a simple task like wearing your pants, you need someone to help you. While we have two legs, it's easy for us to balance ourselves in a slippery toilet, but minus one leg, you will notice how important it is that the toilet must be extra dry.
well, everyday is a learning process. there is a mistake, we learn from the mistake. we improvise our home to accomodate people.
take for example, we all take for granted how fortunate we are to have two legs. imagine if you have only one leg, a simple task like wearing your pants, you need someone to help you. While we have two legs, it's easy for us to balance ourselves in a slippery toilet, but minus one leg, you will notice how important it is that the toilet must be extra dry.
well, everyday is a learning process. there is a mistake, we learn from the mistake. we improvise our home to accomodate people.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Been busy and tired recently, getting the room and the house ready for my mother in law (mil).
After she is discharged from the hospital, she will be staying with us. If possible, and if my fil manages to get a change, he too, maybe coming over to stay with us.
So all the shopping to get the room cosy and wheelchair friendly for her, new bed, new wardrobe, new bedside table, new lamp.
The toilet also need some railings and non-slip mats. Been running to shops to find out the best prices for commade, walking frame and wheelchair. Quite a lot of learning points for me.
Then went to hospital for care-giver training also. Short training but essential so that we can better look after.
As I’ve always tell the family and my mil, what is over is over. What is most important is to look forward to the future. This will be a trying period for all of us. Not only my mil has to cope with the feeling and getting used of just one leg, we all have to make adjustments to our lives somehow. Not only do we have to cope with one another habits and ways, we have to stay together to help her overcome the fact that she has already lose her leg.
My maid asked me today if I was sick because she says my face looks pale. Told her I was just feeling tired. (physically and emotionally) looks like it’s already taking a toll on me. But my belief is there will be a better tomorrow.
After she is discharged from the hospital, she will be staying with us. If possible, and if my fil manages to get a change, he too, maybe coming over to stay with us.
So all the shopping to get the room cosy and wheelchair friendly for her, new bed, new wardrobe, new bedside table, new lamp.
The toilet also need some railings and non-slip mats. Been running to shops to find out the best prices for commade, walking frame and wheelchair. Quite a lot of learning points for me.
Then went to hospital for care-giver training also. Short training but essential so that we can better look after.
As I’ve always tell the family and my mil, what is over is over. What is most important is to look forward to the future. This will be a trying period for all of us. Not only my mil has to cope with the feeling and getting used of just one leg, we all have to make adjustments to our lives somehow. Not only do we have to cope with one another habits and ways, we have to stay together to help her overcome the fact that she has already lose her leg.
My maid asked me today if I was sick because she says my face looks pale. Told her I was just feeling tired. (physically and emotionally) looks like it’s already taking a toll on me. But my belief is there will be a better tomorrow.
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