today at 5pm, decided to leave school. then i had to detour to amk to settle some things. so after settling the things, mum asked me if want to go for dinner with her, sis and auntie luk yee, 1 for 1 buffet dinner. who can turn down a nice sumptous dinner?

so agreed. we started to have our dinner at 7.45. we ate and chatted until almost 9.45pm. it was a chat over dinner.

on the way home, pass by orchard road. really blur in orchard road. goes to show how long i have not been to orchard road. after sending them home, i took a slow ride home. wind down windows, listen to music. i think i said before, i like this kind of feeling.

today was really impromptu. although at the back of my mind, i was like, hmmm, my crops expire already or not... but it was a good break from facebook. it's really like after a long day of work, you go for a good and slow dinner. should not let whether it's late or not to bother you. u actually feel very refresh after a shower. u actually look forward to work tomorrow as you feel good.

this week things slow down. last week taking bullet train, now taking old car. enjoying the relax mood.

max is so funny. he came in and asked if he can use the internet, i said yes, then he is so happy and he kissed me. ok, he wants to type some words.

xqdfereffdfgter3ftref3getejhy5jyuncnf jnchgmvmkkbkjcjbuhgguc,ckucymhycmjufhiuigjumjvkv,vkvkvckigkiunhvmbkkvlk kjdkf ifigj kfkgjkjkjkgjgkgkgokgogkg

totally forgot the new season of amazing race. am watching the 2nd episode now. the participants are in vietnam, HCM. thought of the trip we brought students to vietnam. it was like only last year....

mil very show favouritism towards boys one leh, she totally forgot that mabel's b-day is coming.

fil so fast going to retire in june 2010. dun dare to think about the future.

saturday after dinner, brought the kids down to take lantern. it was a quiet and wet mid autumn festival.

on sunday, brought mabel to go and order her b-day cake. wanted to queue at singtel to 'queue' for the iphone. saw the queue before singtel shop opens, forget it.

came back home, shower and then went to brewerkz. It was very crowded, because they showed F1 Japan race live and rugby final live. so it was very crowded. but it was exciting to watch with so many people. the moan, the cheer, even the children soak up to the feelings.

then thought of going home, but needed to get some presents, so we pop by raffles city and after getting the presents, we went to amk to celebrate sis and mum's b day.

reflection on 2.4km

this morning, went to run 2.4km.

1st round, ok, slow and easy. 2nd round, perservering. 3rd round, still perservering. 4th round, i can do this, half completed. 5th round, dying soon. perservere, dun stop, 2nd last round! slowed down considerably for the person to ask me if i want to go on, i just pointed 'good' sign, i'm still ok, one last round to go. 6h round, i can do this, i can do this. very tired, pushing on very hard. i've come so far, it's not possible for me to give up now.continue jogging, jogging and jogging. last 200m, finishing soon! last 100m, open up and sprint. reach destination, made it!

it's really a test of endurance for me. am surprise i can complete the run. judging that i've only ran 3 times in the past 2 weeks and it's not even 2.4km.

but it feels good after an hour or so. u feel fresh after a shower. u feel good. i should go jogging more often. it is like to stimulate the metabolic rate.

oh no, tmr running 2.4km. the last time i ran was last week. dunno if i'm fit to run or not.

can, i shall go sleep early tonight.

finally, heave a sigh of relief.

feels good to be able to do nothing after work. but max today is busy playing with marcus and mabel.

it is very frustrating when you have to work, and then your child keeps coming to you and says, 'mummy, mummy, can you play with me?'

so darn many work and deadline to complete. after this, still got lots of things to do, which i will not elaborate here. it's really very fed up and frustrating.

like keep working, no life like that. no quality of life. sianzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. sometimes, you just feel like throwing in the towel and say i quit.

we work to live, not live to work.

warao, so busy, so busy. so busy until no time to shit. sigh.

i hate this feeling of so busy.

today is a busy day and tiring day. just holding on and holding on till the second i fall asleep.

good deed: yesterday at giant, we took the lift up. just as about to close the door, 2 aunties were running towards the lift. open and hold the door for them. told them not to run, otherwise they fall down.

yesterday was a lazy afternoon. weather is hot. in the evening, went jogging with mabel and max. i think max has better stamina than his brother. he can really jog. i kept asking him if he is tired. we took a few stops of rest at the bus stops. by the time we finish jogging, max was perpiring. i think it's good exercise for him.

ok, i should go and get ready for lunch.

went for a jog this evening. mabel and marcus joined me in jogging. marcus' stamina is very lousy leh... in the end, i find myself having to wait for him most of the time. i will bring him to jog more. how can his fitness level be so lousy?

sigh, back to reality. need to focus.

good deed, good deed. not been doing good deed. does being more polite to the elderly considered a good deed? especially if one is still old, still have to sell lor mee.
today on the road, when i exit cte, braddell, saw mum's car. she was beside the car which was in front of mine. actually wanted to give her a horn. but the lanes merging and i found myself almost stuck in between two cars. so in the end, i didn't give her a horn. so i called her instead.

i should stop thinking about work tomorrow. die, think it's another sleepless night. sigh, i dunno why i'm having a heavy heart now.

the dark clouds came very sudden today. i hurried to work as i did not want to be caught in the rain. as i walked, the strong wind blew the trees so hard that the leaves rustled. the sound was like music to my ears! hearing the rustling leaves gives me a strange sense of peace.

last nite, i wanted to update my ipod touch software. so i plugged in ipod touch to itunes. ok, update software. 55mins! nvm. dialouge box popped up, want to download new version of itunes? so i clicked ok. after itunes downloaded, i need the new version of quicktime. ok, download quick time. at this time, i realise the old version of itune was closed. after download quick time, i dun know what happen, still cannot open the new version of itune. fed up, uninstall quick time, uninstall itune.

start all over again, download quick time, install quick time, download itune, install itune. vola. plug in ipod touch, start to download ipod touch software all over again. 55 mins! by then it's already 11pm. so while waiting for it, fell asleep. after that, still got to retrieve software, back up ipod, install the new software, sync ipod, then update application. in between all these, i fell asleep, woke up to execute the next command. by the time all is completed, it's 2am. it should have been completed earlier than this, i think. i wouldn't know, i fell asleep.

decided to update the software, not only becos on saturday, kelvin mentioned about it. there were some games which i played, i realised that it often switched back to the home menu on its own. that is when i realise that some of the applications may not be suited to the old version, so decided to update.

i'm now contemplating, nokia N97 or iphone.

got gastric flu. mild one. sigh, the itunes.... so troublesome. i just want to update the software. wt....

max is very cute. every nite he would go like 'tmr mummy papa got go work?' then he'll pout his mouth when i say we have to work. but these 2 days, marcus and mabel are going to school on different days as they have their oral exams in school. Max only lighten up when he knows that jie jie and gor gor is at home. but come friday, he will be alone.

i really hope that marcus will try his best for his chinese oral exam tomorrow.

yesterday, brought the children to explorer kids as promised. at explorer kids, mabel and marcus tried the adventure highland. this is the second time they tried. i dunno why mabel cried this time. she didn't manage to finish the obstacle.

later marcus and max went into the shooting ball one. max poop poop in his pants. had to clean up for him. had to throw away the underwear. too soiled to wash. i also dunno how to wash for him.

later went for lunch, then kbox. mabel sang the most songs among them. finally went home at around 5pm. fun filled day.

at night, max said that he wanted to drink coca cola. so hubby went to pour a small cup for him. that was when he realised that mil has been secretly drinking the coca cola. so he poured the children each a cup of coca cola, that finishes off the bottled cola. we finished up the last can of coke with JD.

today it's back to work, back to reality.

good deed? hmmm, didn't do any good deed today. even though i was very tempted to just talk to the ang moh couple sitting beside us at brewerkz. just feel like talking to them to ask them if they were tourists. but i didn't have the guts. sigh.

today at amk, should have held on to the button and let the lady with the bicycle go into the lift.

2 misses today.

but one thing i find about wanting to do a good deed, it makes you more aware of your surrounding. it makes you aware of the people around you. it makes you more observant.

saturday morning, brought the kids to library to borrow books. Well, since we confiscated marcus' psp, we must give him alternative things to do. so he borrowed 4 books for reading.

then in the evening time, sis in law and family came over for dinner as usual.

sunday. Selamat Hari Raya! after breakfast, did a bit of studying. then went over to brewerkz, played uno too. hmm, realise mabel is a sore loser, she cannot lose one leh. i tekan her, won her 3 times. by the third time, she is so dejected. let her go and sulk. after a while, then went to hug her and speak to her.

evening time, went over to mum's house for dinner.

tomorrow is holiday. plan to bring the kids out. probably we'll go explorer kids in the morning, after lunch, maybe bring them to kbox to sing a few songs.

today i'm so exhausted.

marcus' teacher called me today and gave me some feedback on him. so in the evening, talked to marcus and decided to confiscate his psp, the camera. we have already warned him that if his teacher were to call one more time, then we will keep all these things.

so of course, it was painful for him, he cried. well,he got to understand and most important, hubby talked to mil so that she understands too.

so marcus went dinner with us. after dinner, did some maths assessment. went through his homework with him.

i guess i have to do some sacrifice too. less facebook for me and more time to supervise his work.

mabel also did some some exercise before i release her for her 9pm show. tv addict leh, mabel.

as for max, these few days, he is quite close to his jie jie. last night, he shared the bed with jie jie. but he coudln't wake his jie jie up when he wanted to sh sh so he peed on the bed! and this mabel didn't even know her brother peed on the bed.

so anyway, i talked to max and he had promised me that tonight he would come over to our bedroom. but now it's 10.42pm, he's still in the other room playing. will go and 'fetch' him after this blog.

today i did 1 good deed. an auntie dropped a $5 when she took out her hand from her pocket. i tapped her and told her that she dropped $5. she said thank you to me. feels kind of great. i wish that she would spread this kindness to one more person.

today, didn't manage to jog. after scolding marcus and having dinner, it's already 7 plus when we reach home.

congratulations to me. finally, much awaited da yi ma is here. kao, now my cycle is like 28+14 days.

sign myself up for the 2.4km run, so just now, went to jog round the estate, almost died. but it was good to sweat it all out. sweat out the stress, sweat out the frustation. not sure if i can run the 2.4 on 3rd oct or not.

this morning, almost kena ERP. 5 mins before the gantry, there was a traffic jam. wa piang, stress. luckily started moving. at 3 mins before 7.30pm, drove past the gantry. tmr, i better dun leave at 7am. better leave slightly early.

talking about driving on the road. yesterday morning, i was on this two lane road. there was a panel van coming out from the carpark. the van turned out to the main road though i was approaching already. well, never mind, i was on the outer lane, when she turned, she turn to the inner lane. so there was this bus stop and there was a bus there. so technically, this bus took one lane. the panel van wanted to cut into my lane when i was beside it. you can imagine i hold on to my horn and i really 'lun'. 'lun' she bang me. wtf. nbcb. early in the morning, daydream and let me horn you. u turn out to the main road, i 'sua' already. u some more want to cut into my lane. bimbo! maybe a gentleman will give way to you and let you cut in. but i not gentleman, i bitchy, so sorry. u kena horn. please dun take for granted that u suka suka cut into people's lane. buy 4D also need to one by one, queue up. u choose to turn out from the carpark, so u kena stuck behind the bus, that is your choice.

today i didn't do any good deed. i guess the only good deed i did today is to keep my cool and not to curse and swear at other drivers.

but i think i keep my cool too much, come back, dunno why, suddenly release at children. it all started with marcus. he went to pang sai, then he called the maid. well, the maid is in the toilet, helping my mil to bathe. so i scolded him, so big already dunno how to clean backside with toilet paper. still need to call the maid. then followed by max. he wanted to change the xbox games, but he didn't know how to, so he anyhow press. so i scolded him for changing the disc. then he cried. then asked the kids if they want to go dinner, nobody answered me. (actually i know lah, i so fierce, who want to answer me?) so i fed up, switch off the tv, asked them want to follow to dinner. they said no, so i asked what they want to eat for dinner.

now i just want to cool down, vege out, harvest, plant and then do some marking. sigh, life!

the show which mark lee and another person go to another country to look at the culture, social behaviour etc just ended.

just feel that Singapore lags behind in many ways. The people are friendly. They take the initiative to give directions to foreigners who seem lost.

They return their own trays, not only that, they categorize into trays, plates and cutleries. We do not even return our own tray.

many times, Singaporeans just watch, without offering any help. Those who offer help, like open the doors for you, give way to the ladies are often the caucasians.

i promise to do one good deed, to help someone in need every day.

i moved off at 7.45 am this morning. there were so many cars on the road, all going to work! before i could reach kpe, the road is already full of cars. but once clear the traffic light, went down to kpe.

first time i see kpe filled with cars, neck to neck. ok, everybody drive at 70km/h, then exit kpe. 'beep' gantry point. then the dreaded benjamin sheares bridge. always dun understand why they put the camera before the uphill.

then as i saw singapore flyer, i start to digitize the location in my mind. raffles boulevard, marina, oriental, suntec convention centre. southpoint, cantonment road, cecil street, octagon.

finally reached my destination. i swear to move off before ERP.

When i saw the headlines that Patrick Swayze died, i feel kind of sad. sad becos i've watched his two movies over and over again as a teenager. i remembered i recorded 'dirty dancing' when it was broadcast on channel 5 becos i had a camp. after the camp, i watched the show. needless to say, i watched it over and over again.

as for 'ghost' i didn't think i watched it over and over again, but i think i remembered watching it a few times. it was a beautiful romantic show. so sad, he died. he's only 57.

had a horrible dream last nite. i dreamt that i went to the gynae for my regular check up. the scan is so advanced now that it's like a colour tv, so you can see the baby inside the stomach.

so scary.

today i went to amk with a heavy heart. i'm one person who do not like to settle disputes, especially if it's between 2 adults. but this time, there is no avoiding.

when i heard of the news this morning, many questions streamed into my mind:
why did this thing happen?
it takes two hands to clap. if only mum has been kinder, maybe this thing could not have happen. T might have taken the things out of spite.
wonder if T took things from my house before? checked, no. sis checked hers too, no. GY checked hers too, no. so why only mum?

i thought this oould be a good excuse to let T go home. then i dun have to worry too much too. i thought i could strongly suggest to mum that T should go home, then perhaps if not necessary, then a part time one to do some general cleaning. i so made up my mind to do this.

but when negotiation, interrogation started, situation changed. even if there is no police report and T goes back, she would return with nothing. she had advanced 2 months pay. and her family would have nothing.

so details of interrogation was like this:
when? it was taken before T went back to see her family. the only reason she stopped short of bringing it back is because mum gave her a sling bag for her to bring back to her daughter. She knew it was not good, so she didn't.

how? it was sewn inside a pillow.

why? she liked the design, she thought that mum didn't want.

something which she realised it was wrong. i really see no reason. i taught her to teach her children that it was not easy for her to work. they cannot spend money like nobody's business and keep asking her to send money back.

still i couldn't understand. T has her merit too, she would be one who would give you back the money/coins left in the pocket. so why this? this phrase comes to my mind, a moment of folly.

when such things happen, the trust is gone. i've told her blankly, the trust is gone. she would have to accept it and it would take time for people to change. she may have to prove herself extra hard now.

then mum's grievances all came out. mum never tell me. T would be rude to her. i used to think that probably it's because mum used to scold her, so this is the defensive stance she took. if T has used more effort and put her heart to learn, maybe such scoldings will be lesser. or could be mum is impatient too. expect her to learn things fast. but come to think of it, 10 months already. when we work, we only get like 3 months or 6 months probation. 10 months... hmmm

then again, i was also thinking. from the first time she went back home, that would be like march. that means, this thing has been 6 months already. all these 6 months, she has so call plotted, sewed the thing inside the pillow. if mum didn't happen to help her carry her mattress, maybe we could not have found out at all.

in retrospect, since june, T had told S and GY about how mum had scolded her, how mum had thrown the food on the floor and asked her to sweep it up. in retrospect, had she tried to get people on her side by putting mum in a bad light?

and the funny thing was, the night before, mum was saying something to T and she just mentioned something about stealing money, T retaliated. i always thought that she retaliated because she was not happy that people accuse her of doing something she didn't. but on the night before, she knew, she knew she was guilty. so her act of retaliation was in fact to cover up her guilt.

then in retrospect, could she have been rude to mum these few months because of this incident too? there's a chinese saying, 恶人先告状, movies and drama serials had done it before. people who are guilty of doing something wrong, usually are loud and say many things to cover up.

T thought that she had 'won' by gaining many people's sympathy. but she had lost.
and the funny thing was, mum has good sixth sense. her sixth sense is damn good. i remembered when i first had my menses, i didn't tell my mum, she knew. when i was older, when i had a boyfriend, we were almost into that at his house, mum called his house at that crucial moment.

this time, the night before, mum suddenly talked about stealing money. then why on earth did she suddenly helped T to move the mattress? for so many months, she never helped T move the mattress.

mum said something. T said that mum does not have a good heart, always scold people. so now who is the one without a good heart? as i said, T had lost, now mum has the upper hand, i know it's going to be more difficult for T.

my mind is still thinking, i hope i can get to sleep. I usually can't sleep on sunday night. again, it could be stress. tonight, there are more issues for me to think, alamak, i can foresee myself not sleeping until 3am.

weekend seems to be busy. no time to blog. yesterday morning went lta, then afternoon, went to potong pasir, then went to get the satay for the bbq, then giant. reached home, rest a while, it's dinner time and then off to bbq.

sunday morning, went out. then afternoon to brewerkz. then in the evening, went to amk.

tomorrow is monday. back to work.

a few cute things about my children:

1) Marcus: still couldn't get over the fact that he cried during chinese tuition. he's such a straightforward child, no hiding of emotions. naive.

can be stubborn at times. just now asked him to pack his bag, he needs to choose a story book for silent reading. was wondering why he took so long, he ended up reading the book. so i told him, 'marcus, choose the story book, tomorrow then read.' after 30s, i went to check, still reading. so i said a 2nd time. after about another minute, i went to check, still reading the book. so this time, i raised my voice a little louder. why must he always wait until i raised my voice, then he move???

2) Mabel: she has been spreading out her holiday homework to do during the week. so didn't have to worry for her. just need to remind her if she has finish her homework, how many left. helped her with chinese composition on friday.
what is it with students that they dun like to write compo?

3) Max: after we came back today, he asked, 'mummy, where are we going? i gel up my hair already.' he is so funny. he's getting better and better at talking.

an example, after realising that i'm going to work the next day, 'uh?? i like you leh, u cannot go to work.'

on friday nite, 'mummy papa no go work tomorrow. we go for breakfast, ok'

4) myself, p is late again. 2 weeks. this is the 2nd time consecutively. i seldom miss my p as it's usually a very regular cycle. i account for last month's lateness to stress. but this month, could it be stress again?
or becos i'm getting fatter and fatter, so the cycle change?
or menopause comes early?????

5) as for my dear, still the same old one. except that aged a bit.

hmmm, so fast, friday already.

marcus cried during chinese tuition today. had to slow talk to him, finally manage to make him go through the whole tuition. brought the children to eat spaghetti for dinner.

broke my heart to see him struggle with chinese, but he had to go through.

just now climb up 10 storey to the house. panting.

tiring day. last night, couldn't sleep until 3am. actually was watching hbo. one is 'pay it forward', a very nice and touching show. another one is quite funny.

so not enough sleep. feels tired.

hmmm, today passes by quite fast. had training the whole day.

back at home, same old stuff.

stop thinking that just because it's the september holidays, we are having holidays and having a fun time.

We still have holiday classes to conduct. we still have worksheets to mark. some teachers are using this time to set the year end exam paper.

however, i'm glad that most students turn up for the holiday classes. they are really getting into it and hopefully, they can feel the stress of the coming exams.

marcus and mabel has some holiday homework to do. still have to see that they do some holiday homework.

yes, i'm in a foul mood. i'm having the facebook withdrawal symptom.

this year 7th month 15th day, i've decided not to burn anything for himer. I lost himer on 28th june 2005. it's been 4 years.

To Himer:
Though i'll never know whether you are a boy or girl, i had felt guilty for taking you away.

By not burning anything for you means that it's time i learn to let go. i strongly believe that you have reincarnated. i really should have let go.

You'll always have a special little place in mummy's heart.

so fast, it has been 2 weeks since the first day of hungry ghost festival. soon, it's time to eat mooncakes.

time passes by very fast. what are my plans for today with the children? don't know. probably just vege out to watch tv programmes and have a good laugh.

Today has been a tiring day. but i'm glad that most of the things are over.

when you are mentally prepared for the long day ahead, somehow, it doesn't get draggy. You become very focus to get the things done. you feel a sense of satisfaction, a sense of fulfilment when the day is over.

How to Play 15 Fun Water Games | eHow.com

How to Play 15 Fun Water Games | eHow.com

Shared via AddThis

today, revise with marcus his science as he is going to have his science SA 2 tomorrow. so now all i have in my mind is respiratory system, circulatory system, digestive system, plant system and skeletal system. muscles contract and pull the bones to allow movement. joints allow us to bend. not to mention, anus, gullet. exchange of gases in the lung. spine protects our spinal cord, skull protects our brains. ribcage protects our lungs. functions of leaves, roots, stems, stomata, chlorophyll, tubers, woody stem.

ha, i realise marcus is good at remembering things. he just has to apply what he learns to answer the questions. and if the question ask you to refer to the diagram, you must refer to the diagram. you must be able to compare and contrast.

actually, these are the skills i've been teaching and teaching my students. refer to the diagram, answer the questions. question ask you to describe the relationship, then you describe the relationship. question ask for factors that affect food production, then don't give me effects of food variation (obesity and malnutrition)

so answer the question, refer to the diagram. same, it's the same. i hope marcus can score 90 out of 100 for his science. well, that is the target i set him.

happy teachers' day

many thanks to students who had wished me happy teachers' day. and not to forget, ex-students who came back. thanks for the well wishes.

so... on this teacher's day, i would also like to thank my past teachers who have taught me. I'm not exactly the brightest student nor the most troublesome one. I was just quiet, well, i would always not pass up homework on time, yeah, i'm guilty of that.

seriously, thank you for moulding me, passing me the knowledge. thank you teachers, and if you are still teaching, happy teachers' day!

retirement plans made on a sunday morning

don't know why, we woke up very early this morning, early considering that today is a sunday. went for breakfast.

Yesterday, going to steff's company gathering was impromptu. main reason was could catch up with aunt sally since she is back from Perth.

i'm 30 plus now, 34??? yeah, 34..... many old people said that i still have a long way to go, but i guess in the thirties, it's when you start to plan for your retirement. probably our generation is different, due to our lifestyle and diet, i seriously dun think i would live that long. or rather, i seriously think that i cannot keep on slogging for another 20-30 years. i've already taken my 1st long service award. would i be taking my 2nd or 3rd?

back to our retirement plans... initially there were some...

1) when we grow old, check ourselves into old folks home, sell the house, 3 children buy their own houses in the future, money keep for retirement.

2) invest in some properties now, so that next time, each children will have 1 property. That is what we can do for them.

3) retire on a farm in a countryside. (this is the best!)

so after talking to aunt sally yesterday, she seems to have great plans for the whole family in Perth. This is so aunt sally, always planning and looking out for her sisters.

i think, we would slowly make plans to retire in Perth. no concrete plans yet, but this is the long term goal.

so the short term goal is to save money, big time. I have to develop some processes to save substantial amount of money. then the KPI will be to save what amount of money by each quarter.

Another process is to go Perth to do recce trip! yes, this is the big family plan for June 2010!!!! Serena, you are coming along too!

We are excited about this plan because this was something that i've planned a decade ago. i had plans to bring children over before they are 5 years old. yeah, a decade ago, year 2000. so now almost after a decade, it's like igniting a dying flame inside. so now discussing it was like fanning the ember, and slowly the ember is exploding into fire. what is different this time is there were extra resources, there were extra charcoal to help keep the fire alive.

ok, back to reality to work towards the retirement plans.

today, i feel like 'dying'. the fever came, the back aches, feels like breaking my back. tolerate until 3pm, then go home. ate some medicine, hit the bed to sleep.

feel a little better after the nap. at least, there is no fever. tried not to cough as the chest hurts when i cough.

i'm going to sleep after this blog. needs plenty of rest.

feels like hugging the children, cannot, afraid of passing the virus to them. so i'll go hug my bolster

i've just taken medicine for my cold, my cough, my phlegm (2x), augmentin, for fever. 6 types of medicine. trying to control it, it better work, man. i dun want to go and see doc liao, this month, whole family already spent like $250 - $300 on doctor. that's way over my budget of $100 pe month. darn, this virus is so strong.

max has finished his medicine, but his voice is still husky. have i mentioned this before? i think so.

arghhhhhhhh, couldn't finish the marking i set out to do, i had to keep it away, cannot continue. oh yah, better disinfect the papers before returning. (ha)

so after farming on farmville, i'm going to sleep, i'm not going to wait to harvest, i'll do it tomorrow.

went back to work today. Thank you everyone for your care and concern for 3M.

work has indeed piled up after 2 days of absence. just went on working and working, clearing one thing at a time. had to ask colleague to buy food up.

marking and marking, just finished one more pile. one last pile to go and i had to collect 3 more piles today. i can do this, after that, will be some rest from marking and then it's the prelims!!!!!

tomorrow is a long day. we now have evening revision with students. and tomorrow i have a meeting to attend... tomorrow isn't really a free day with only a break in between. so i must mentally prepare myself.

the children are getting into the system of doing homework, well, they have to, marcus science CA is coming up on 2 sept, so i have to revise with him on teachers' day. i hope they keep up the momentum and then soon, next term, it will be their SA.

as for my own studetns, all the more, you should keep up with the momentum. it's now or never!

having random thoughts now, so i'll just blog whatever comes to my mind

1) max has finished his medicine. i hope he gets well soon, otherwise, i had to go buy some more for him. he still has this husky voice and running nose. but with medication, he is really more tired, drowsy.

2) somemore is spelt one word or two words? somemore or some more???????

3) i just took some cough mixture too, can feel the cough coming...help!

4) the whole room is so dark now, only light is coming out from my monitor, the place is so quiet except the air con, the sound of my typing and the occasional traffic that passes by the main road. (sounds like a scenario from silent hill?)

5) traffic police do stop by temasek poly to catch illegal modifications to motorcycles. i've seen it a few times. not to mention, tampines ave 1 is a favourite place for speed camera. the overhead bridge can really provide shelters and do wonders.

6) what will i do without the computer and the internet?

7) with work piling up these few days, i'll be slow to farm and harvest, darn, there goes the lead... i calculated my schedule tomorrow, not advisable to grow 8hr crop or even 12hr crop, i wouldn't have time to harvest tomorrow, no point growing 16hr crop, also 1 XP point, might as well plant 24 hr crop, 2 XP points. but that means that i will harvest 1 or 2 less time in a day as compared to when i'm not working. well, heck. i have a life to live.

8) weekends are quite filled up already. Sorry, steff, got to turn down your invite. anyway, thanks for the invite. sat morning, going to bring in laws to HDB, then in the afternoon, off to seng kang to see new born baby with in laws too. then i guess, sis in law will come over for dinner.

on sunday morning, definitely must bring the boys for a hair cut. afternoon, depends on whether the children recovered or not, brewerkz. then it's off to mum's place for dinner. probably mum wants to go see some more showflats this weekend???

ok, i'll sign out for tonight, play a few rounds of mj on facebook before i turn in.

my frustrations when it comes to disciplining my children

on saturday, max was being unreasonable with mabel. i know he was not feeling well, but he didn't want to sleep, so he was cranky. and he had some issues with mabel.

i really could not stand it, so i went to the kitchen, i caned a few times (4x) on his legs. i just feel that he's being too unreasonable, and marcus and mabel, i feel, is starting to get tired of always having to give in to him.

my mil was at home, of course. needless to say, she was very unhappy. but this time i really heck care.

i need to discipline my child so that next time, when i say something stern to him, he listens. no, next time, i just have to stare, max will be able to understand what i mean.

on thursday night, i really had to scold marcus for not completing his homework even though i've told him many times before hand, that he needs to do his homework before i come back. so i was fuming inside, mad.... but i cannot scold yet. i know if i start scolding, it will be loud and i'll probably hit marcus too. keeping your anger inside really can shorten your life, you know, who knows, you may have a heart attack. so after mil went out for dinner, i had to seize the opportunity to scold as much as i can, to give marcus a piece of my mind (i think it was many pieces)

i feel very frustrated at times when it comes to disciplining my child. On one hand, i have to make sure i cannot let go of the opportunity to discipline, on the other hand, i have to make sure to do it discreetly.

and the worse thing is, mil thinks that i scold the children because i was angry with her for scolding the maid. she thinks that i side the maid!!! so it becomes a vicious cycle, when i scold the children, she would scold the maid even more. aiyo, so frustrating.

why i'm hooked on facebook application

facebook applications (levelling up) and blogging has become a major part of my leisure time (if i have any, so to speak)

so i usually leave the application on, while attending to my children, or sacrifice tv time and while listening to the tv programme, i try to level up in my facebook application.

sometimes, too many applications, have to be discerning. fishing is out for me, farming is in for me, mafia war is out for me. so please do not take offense if i started rejecting to accept application. i already have about 5-6 applications (let me list it down)
1) country story
2) farmville
3) farmtown
4) yoville
5) sorority life
6) barn buddy
7) happy farm
8) restaurant city (which i have stopped)
9) pet society (which i've deleted the pet)
10) Fish a fish (which i have stopped, just not into fishing)

not to mention all the games in facebook that i've stopped playing.

so what got me hook? i do some reflections (i dun just play, i reflect and i draw analogy to life)

1) it get you hook easily because the 1st few levels are always easy to level up, so you feel the satisfaction, the kick and you race to level up more to get more kick (sounds like drugs eh) but as you get into the higher level, you need more point to level up. and like RC, after you reached the max., there is no kick.

that is how drugs get you hook on real life too, i suppose

2) well, you can say, then let go. it's easy to say let go, but after putting in so much effort in farming, plowing, harvesting, it's difficult to let go.

in real life, isn't it the same to let go of past relationships?

3)in real life, it would be impossible for me to farm, so i guess i have to do it virtually though virtual farmer and real life farmer is, i know, so much different.
after my few farm stay stints in perth, i really like to retire on a nice farm. that is provided my health permits.

4) recently, i realised that when you face competition in levelling up, you really seek ways to strategise and compete. so a little bit of healthy competition is good. it improves the entire system. what i mean by strategise is u really work out the details on which crop to grow best, shortest time and give you lots of points. then when somebody else is doing better, you go to their farm to 'check it out' then u apply what is relevant to you. sometimes, you discuss openly and share with each other. then now, though not a huge success, but i'm sharing my secret here.

in real life, it is pretty much the same. Competition improves ourselves, competition with classmates helps to improve your grades. when you are stuck, you wonder how this person do so well, you either secretly learn or you discuss openly and learn.
Next, whatever you learn, you need to experiment to see which suits you best. you apply what is relevant to you. upon achieving success, sometimes, you share with the public like in our case, 'best practice sharing' 'excel fest' etc

it's amazing how the virtual world can capture the essence of the real world.

on deeper reflection,
4) being online, virtual temporarily takes me away from reality. i'm not one who is comfortable sitting down with people to talk, i dun like to socialize (honestly) so sometimes, retreating into my room is my best solution. retreating into my virtual identity gives me temporarily solace.

cowardly? maybe, it's up to you to define, but i'm happy this way. i'm also aware that i have to strike a balance in my spouse relationship (that is where self management comes in) sometimes, things are crazy at home, i really badly need some privacy.

i remembered when i was young, i was very much alone. i come back to an empty home after school since pri 3 or 4. what they call latch key kid. but i'm happy to be at home, so i'm used to being alone at home, i'll find my own entertainment, i'll find something to do.i hate shopping since young. (sounds like marcus is taking after me in this area) however, last time, there was no computer, so what do i do at home?
hmmm, let me think, i'll try on my mum's high heel shoes, i'll pretend to be teacher, i'll put on my mum's make up, i'll do some housework, i'll pour cooking oil into my neighbour's fish tank and then the fish would die (oops). We'll (neighbours) go to the various playgrounds in the neighbourhood (but that was when my cousin, stephanie comes to my house) oh yah, and i have to practice playing the organ. oh yah, not to mention, i pontang my organ lessons on sunday to go to times bookshop to read story books.

so now with so many people living in my house, it was understandably uncomfortable for me. i guess i'm learning the ropes as days go by, but sometimes, i just want my privacy. i'm not giving excuses to why i'm always on the internet and on facebook. i'm just reflecting on why i'm like that (self awareness) i go back to my childhood, i draw inferences, i do comparision (sounds so Social studies)

i will do reality check (not reliability) i check that i'm don't cave myself into the virtual world. i keep telling marcus to come back to reality (he is caved into his imagination world) so i must check myself.

How to Manage Your Online Life When You\'re Dead

How to Manage Your Online Life When You\'re Dead

cool, lately, i've been thinking of doing a will. Just in case, i just pass away. i've been thinking what assets i should include in my will.

anyway, come across this article, now i'm mindful also that i will have to take care of my digital assets in my will too. or like the article suggests, digital legacy, but it comes with a price.

i better note down all my digital assets and passwords to pass on to my children.

should i take child care leave tomorrow? on one hand, i would like to get back to work, on the other hand, my children need me to look after. mabel still has fever ranging from 38 - 39. marcus is slightly better. max's fever is 37.5. but his running nose is bad.

on sunday night, max suddenly didn't want to take his medicine, which is not the usual case. usually, he would open his mouth and eat medicine. but last night, he just refused. i had to forcefully feed him the medicine. after that, he kept on sobbing and said, 'i want fever. i dun want medicine. i want fever.' then i asked him, 'why he wants fever?' he didn't reply. but mabel thinks that he wants fever so that mummy don't have to go to work the next day. well, i'm not sure if this is what max thinks, he may not be so clever, however, i do have my doubts whether he thinks this way.

so i'm confused now, should i take child care or not?

very shiong when all 3 children fall sick at the same time.

random thoughts:
1) with the natas fair ended, i'm sure many people would have made holiday plans for year end. yes, we are going club med again, this time to cherating in malaysis. with sis in law's family of four. we are taking the budget airline, boy, hope it can fly and land safely.

2)this month, siong, spent so much on doc. must eat grass liao.

3)last night went with mum to eat porridge buffet at hotel windsor. ok, didn't know porridge can be so filling. yesterday lunch, also went to sakura at downtown east to have buffet. reached there at 1.50pm, they say buffet close at 2.30pm. so for last half an hour, we really stuff down lots of food.

4) then went over to book the chalet for the class.

5) the day is bright. can start to do some work

this morning, brought mum to eat dianxin for breakfast. after breakfast, she mentioned about centro at AMK showroom, so brought her to go and see. for 1000k psf, it's really not worth it.

then the agent introduced us to cabana, a cluster terrace house in sunrise. about 3 storeys with a basement. maybe tomorrow, will go with mum to have a look. she said she prefer landed properties, hint hint.... eh, ser, you are included hor. we leave the top floor for you and marcus and mabel, we'll share the same floor with mum, dun worry. you will have a world of your own.

ha, just look see look see only lah, no money to buy. it's 1.8 million leh, though it's 600 plus psf.

healthy competition

healthy competition is good. you see, when you have healthy competition, you spur yourself to overtake the person. You will think of strategising and think of ways to overtake the person. Being the winner, you cannot be complacent, you have to think of ways to keep up.

this brings me to the thoughts of students. sometimes, they are too complacent. a little bit of healthy competition is good and it would spur you to move up.

btw, if you are wondering why Mrs Tan level up so fast in facebook's application, that is why. healthy competition is good, right, Mr Kelvin?

can someone take a chopper to chop off my hand? i can tolerate wound pain, but when the bone is pain, there is really nothing much you can do about it. i hate that...

max is having a fever last night and his running nose is getting worse. will have to bring him to see a doc later in the afternoon. sigh, so feel like taking childcare leave, but then ... (&#!@#!*) sometimes i wonder why i work so hard for. pains me to see him sobbing when i left for work.

max, mummy never abandon you, mummy need to go to work. mummy promise you that i will accompany you during the weekend, shower you with love and care. mummy promise you not to do any work during the weekend.

oops, then how to mark??? haha, that means mrs tan cannot return you the papers next week. we will survive and we will work towards a better tomorrow.

what a bad day. now i'm having a terrible headache.

1) dunno why and how i was bitten by something. it started with two bites, then it 'expands' into a big red patch, It is itchy, it is swollen and it has a tingling effect. it is hurting my hand now.

2) marcus did not do his homework as promised. so you can imagine how i flared up. i really flared up. tomorrow, if he is not going to finish his homework before i come back,i will burn his worksheet and offer to the hungry ghost. i'm really not in the mood to mark. i just threw the paper on the floor. sorry guys, i would like to concentrate on the marking and get at least a stack marked. but with marcus not doing his homework, as at now, he is still doing, by the time he finish, i will be too exhausted to mark. that's why i decide to burn his worksheets tomorrow if he doesn't do. It's ridiculous, it's not that i'm very free.

i'm having a splitting headache now, and my left arm has nagging pain. i think i'll just listen to some music and try to go to sleep.

wahhhhhhhhhhhh, never buy 4d today and last weekend, 2 of my numbers came out!!!!!!!!!!

9714, if ibet $2, i should win $20
4208, if ibet $2, i should win $166.

wah, pain pain pain..... $166 can buy me 2 months plus of HDB carpark.
forget it.

i have to believe in fengshui, ever since the roof was dismantled, fengshui is better.

well, certain things about work, i can't really put it down here.

but i'm pleasantly surprised by my ability to go to work on Monday. I was thinking, i may have a high chance of taking mc on monday. i wondered at the back of my mind, what pushed me to go to work.

max woke up again this morning while we were getting ready to go to work. but i'm pleasantly surprised that max didn't cry. he went to find the maid to carry him, then he smiled and waved bye bye to me. so sweet. i hope it stays this way.

argh, the start of a new week. why do i feel so tired?

many things to do, weekend didn't do much work. hope things will be smooth this week.

yesterday, went out almost the whole day. after brewerkz, dinner with friends. hmm, mum didn't sound too happy when i told her that we are not going amk for dinner. hope she didn't vent the anger on anybody yesterday.

max is so tired, he didn't wake up this morning. actually he woke up in the middle of the night once, to go sh sh. then he was like tossing and turning in bed this morning. but he's a cute boy. on sunday morning, when he woke up, he would disturb us from our sleep. he would make your hair, your neck, your back, just so that you wake up.

today brought the kids to explorer kids as promised.

for the past few nights, the air con in marcus' room is spoilt, it was no longer cold. so we had to make a decision to ask people to come and temporarily solve the problem or change the whole entire air con system as planned to do at the end of the year.

after much discussion, decided to change the air ocn. since we have the intention to change the air con at the end of the year, now that the air con is spoilt, no point just solve it temporarily. because the compressor is going to 'crank' off soon too, anyway.

but now, no spare cash to change the air con, so what to do? go courts, can pay instalment.

so after a bit of shopping, decided on panasonic inverter, with air purifying, what not ions to purify the air. It looks something like this.



i especially like the silver panels. look simple and clean.

so after settling the air con thing, went over to ikea to have something to bite.

Max has been waking up these few days and crying when we go to work. His 'antenna' is especially sensitive.

we have talked to him many times the night before.
Max: tomorrow mummy papa no go work.
We: tomorrow is thursday, not saturday, mummy papa have to go work
Max: no, tomorrow mummy papa no go work
We: tomorrow is thursday, then friday. When saturday comes, mummy papa then bring you go playground. You are a big boy already, right? you will not cry, right?
Max: (kept quiet)

In the morning, when we wake up, we have been especially quiet, like thief. but still, he woke up. it has been like this since the beginning of this week. yesterday morning, before i left the house, i went over to the sofa where he was sitting to talk to him. it didn't work, he held on to me, hugged me, refused to let me go.

this morning, i 'ignored' him and walked to the door, wear my shoes. he started sobbing. then he walked towards the door. the maid carried him. 'mummy! ma ma' in between sobs. then as i walked out of the door, his crying got louder. i just waved goodbye to him and smiled at him. he just cried and cried. i had to walk on, without looking back.

wah, that few minutes of hearing him cry just tore my heart. it felt like i was abandoning him like that. it was very painful. i wish i could hug him and not go to work. but i know hugging him will make it worse and harder for me to leave for work. just makes me feel so shitty. just makes me feel like being a stay home mum.

this never happen to marcus and mabel before. probably they had each other as company. i feel so bad. i miss max. pain.

a start to another crazy busy week. so many things to do once work starts. really have to tell myself, one thing at a time, focus, concentrate.

neighbours are friendly. came home today and talked to neighbour about children's education and school. our block even has a group where we look out for one another's cars. this is a nice and warm block. i think it all started with the men washing cars downstairs. so over time, they get to know each other and this is how the group was formed many years ago. we just recently join the group.

ok, much said about neighbours. mil has check up tomorrow and she got a referral letter from the GP because her fever is on and off. i hope she is ok, possibility of her getting hospitalised tomorrow.

wah, so fast 10pm already, tomorrow have to work.

in the afternoon, brought the kids to kbox to sing songs. marcus didn't want to join us, so only mabel and max came. they sure had a great time singing. mabel kept singing the same few jay chou songs. when i have the time, i'll upload the videos.
came home after 4 hours of singing.

finally, marcus will be going to school tomorrow. actually just now he came to the room and trying to cough cough, so i stopped him and told him that he had to go to school tomorrow.

for this past week, ever since serena gave me the peppermint aroma oil, we have been using the fresherner every night in marcus' room.

Happy birthday, Singapore!

nice NDP show.

today, we went to ikea to buy some stuff. later in the evening, went to warren to meet mum and sister. after dinner, went bowling. but couldn't get the lanes with the guard, so marcus and mabel and max's balls kept going into the 'drain'. then we went to the playground and they had a nice time playing.,

nothing special today. but it was nice, just to laze around with the children. felt happy to talk to them, seems like ages since i had a good talk with them.

once again, happy birthday, Singapore!

8 aug is marcus birthday. we went brewerkz in the afternoon. while playing at the fountain, marcus spoilt his spectacles. i think apparently he left it on the floor and stepped on it. luckily it wasn't badly damaged.

then, in the evening time, they all came to celebrate marcus birthday.

went down to the coffeeshop as we had already ordered 2 tables. upon arriving, we realised that there was no table for us. actually, they had prepared 2 tables, but other people had taken it. so they had to open up two new tables for us.

hmmm, a little not pleased. then out of 7 dishes that we ordered, only 5 dishes came. so were very unhappy.

although they didn't charge us for the food that didn't come, but was not very happy.

anyway, on the way home, brought marcus to the optical shop to repair his spectacles. then after that we reached home, we cut birthday cake. Serena bought some 'trick' candles that could not be blown. so the children, huff. the candle went out, but it came back on again. they puff harder. the candle went out, then it came back again. Marcus puff harder still. (hmmm, all the children's saliva is on the cake) so in the end, we told marcus, the candle is not possible to be blown out. we played a trick on him.

after that, mum, steff, serena and me sat down for a game of mahjong.

it was an nice evening. if only it wasn't so humid and hot.

today met stephanie and we all went to tampines mall together. She wanted to get marcus a birthday present. so we went din tai fung for an early dinner. then went to toys r us. marcus chose his birthday present. so did mabel.

after that, we went swensens for ice cream, then shop a while at mothers care.

tomorrow is marcus birthday. we have booked 2 tables at the zi char stall.

now, tired. trying to think what to do with the children tomorrow.

been busy these 2 days. yesterday, took child care leave. Marcus was on 3 days MC. today, i still didn't let him go back to school as he was running a fever last evening. 39.3

many work to be done recently. not to mention the marking.

just take things slowly and easy, one day at a time. will be able to survive.

how should i begin? story goes like this:

mil wanted max to take his afternoon nap in the 'yona'. asked maid to put him in the 'yona'. max cried and said dun want and struggled. as maid was putting max in the yona, mil hit maid's hand. maid cried and said 'painful'.

later, mil told maid that she was actually hitting max, not her. i don't know who to believe and i'll give mil the benefit of the doubt. but i also told maid that if ah ma hit her again, whether accidental or intentional, she must let me know.

maid also told me that mil shouted loudly for no reason suddenly. marcus was at home, playing with his trains. marcus looked up and was stunned. nobody knew why she shouted.

for both incidents, i'm very upset and unhappy. in the evening, when i asked max if he cried when he was asked to sleep in the yona, he said, 'yah, me and sopia cry' i asked him 'why sopia cry?' he replied, 'ah ma beat sopia.' now if it takes a 3 year old to say that, i think it's a negative influence on him. when he grows up, thinking that it's ok to beat other people.

and the sudden outburst of scream, i dun want my children to think that it's ok to scream like that, not without explaining to them why u scream suddenly.

now from the other point of view:

i do fully understand the frustrations. the skin itches, you cannot do anything much. everything has to depend on people. you need people to help you massage, you need people to apply the lotion. yes, i fully understand this.

that is why when the maid couldn't wake up in time last week for a few day, i understand that she is tired.
when the maid couldn't complete the housework, i understand that her time is taken away.

but i cannot understand why, knowing that you cannot drink cold water, drank cold water in the morning?

that brings me to the question of life. my same old saying, live life to the fullest. birth, growing old, sick and death, all are natural processes of life. take all these in stride. yes, a person may be sick, but you still have to live life to the fullest. how do you want people to remember you when you die? i would want people to remember me as a fighter who fought till the end. i want people to remember me that despite my illness, i do this with whom, i do what with whom. we bring nothing to earth, we shall bring nothing away with us when we die. what is money? money is just something that we need to help us live on this earth. we only leave behind memories, so how do we want people to remember us?

What a busy day today. 1st, after 3 days of MC, many things need to be done today. so been walking around settling things.

2nd, marcus had fever so had to go to his school to bring him home.

3rd, next is back to school to finish what i did not complete and then rush back home again to bring him go and see a doctor.

it was a hectic day

wah......... 9714 ibet, came out 2nd prize leh. the other number, saw a SJR 4000 on saturday morning as we left east coast. we were crossing the car park road, when it drove past, so the number stuck to me because it was SJR and the number was 4000. then as we drive along the service road to exit to fort road, SJR 4000 and another car had a minor accident. i was like, 'omg, didn't i saw the car just now?' It was a renault and the headlamp was quite badly damaged. that's why i decided to buy 4000 this week and ibet it to try to win something small.

It came out in consolation prize. so this week, with 2nd prize and this, i got back my 4D money this week. or should i say, i got back marcus' birthday present.

good, good, a good start to august.

i forgot to mention in the earlier post that marcus actually gave me a kiss on the cheek for buying him a birthday present. Though sometimes he makes me furious, nevertheless, he's still a kind hearted boy.

today went to tampines mall, toys r us to buy b day gift for marcus. he got a pokemon and a train set.

then later, went to ntuc to buy some groceries. after 10 mins, we decided to put back the grocery and go to giant instead. What got me angry was the lack of choice offered by the supermart. i was browing through the sugar, there is only icing sugar, SIS castor sugar and find sugar in packets. I just wanted to buy an ordinary packet of sugar as we make coffee every morning, so didn't like to use individually packed sugar. so i was left with no choice but to take the SIS sugar, 1 kg $2.15. i found it very expensive and i apalled by the lack of choice. That was why i decided to go to giant in the end.

no doubt, ntuc has reward points and yes, some of the things are cheap, but then, it just lost my support.

so we went to giant to buy some groceries and head back home for lunch.

This morning we went to east coast macdonald. met my cousin and sister there for breakfast. After breakfast, we need to go and meet charles, my cousin's husband at the osim triathlon. kind of like support him.

Actually we wanted to walk there, but after knowing that it is at the hawker centre there, we suggested to drive there. impossible to walk, too far.

so after we reached, the men's race had already started. so my cousin kept a lookout for charles and their nephew. she took some pictures of them. hubby said that next year, he may want to take part.

after this, we went down to ralli art to enquire about the price and see how best to spend the voucher. in the end, we settle on buying the 3 t-shirts for the children and 2 key pouches. it cost $115.80. still got some vouchers left.

then we send my sister to esplanade. She is meeting her friends for one for one buffet which they had pre-booked since february! wah!!! hope that she had a good meal.

then we decided to go down to brewerkz since we already paid for the erp charges. the children had a great time playing with water at the fountain. luckily, i brought some towels along. thought the towels will be useful if they are sweaty while cycling. (actually, in the end, we didn't cycle)

the beauty of technology is you are able to work from home even if you are on mc. if i'm not on mc today, think i'll be super stress as it has to be ready for discussion by 1245pm and 230pm. and all this while, you shouldn't be logging to facebook. facebook applications really distract you from being productive. that i have to admit.

max has special antenna

i can't help but wonder that max have special antenna.

last night, he was happy to know that i'll not be going to work. so he goes like, 'only 1 can go to work/'
(points to papa) you go to work
(points to me) you cannot go to work
(we point back at him) 'ok, only 1 person go to work, u go to work'
(max) no, i have to go school leh. wait my teacher scold me, how?

we felt so ticklish.

this morning, woke up early to bring marcus and mabel to their school bus boarding place. somehow, max has special antenna, like sensing that i woke up already, he woke up as well.

just now, while i was reading the newspaper, max was playing train. suddenly need to go toilet to do big business, so went to the toilet. about 10secs later, max sense that i was not around, he cried so loud, 'maaaaaaaa meeeeeeeeeee!' even though i had to shout from the toilet, he still cries so louc. 'maaaaaaaaaaaaameeeeeeeeeee'

i really, literally finish off the business halfway and quickly came out of the toilet. cannot tahan him.

just been to see the doc. doc gave me 3 days mc.

random thoughts for the day:

1)july is really a long and hot month.
2)i finally decided to take mc today after feeling not so well since monday.
3)stilll thinking of work at this point of time
4) max just woke up and is talking to me
5) wonders what to eat for breakfast
6) wonders what time to go and see doc.

after break today, suddenly coughing badly. also feeling a little feverish, 37.1. will try to go home asap.

did quite a lot of work during the weekend. brought home so many things to do, must at least complete half.

Then as usual, on sunday night, i had difficulty falling asleep. marked till 12 midnight. then thought should go to bed to sleep. but end up watching 'nannies' diary' on cinemax, until 2.30pm. i would have continued watching if not for the fact that i force myself to go to sleep.

so was a bit 'slow' retarded this morning. maybe when the weather turned cold suddenly at 10.20am this morning, i was out there and probably caught a chill. that's why i was coughing badly after that.

feels so good today to be able to sleep until the sun shines through the window. feels so good too when you are the first person your son sees when he opens his eyes. feels so good that when he opens his eyes, i'm right beside him. feels good when he places his hand over your neck.

life should be like that.

any great news on newspaper recently that i can reflect on? well, there are, just that my brains are not thinking well. most of the time this week, feels tired after work, also a little short tempered with children. i'm just so glad that it's the weekend.

but i brought home lots of things to be done. aiyo.

July seems like a long month. 31 days!!!! i'm so looking forward to pay day.

i still feel very tired after resting. dunno why, just that i feel like doing work, but i find myself pushing and pushing to go further. just feel so tired to go on.

today managed to cover a lot of things. After work, went home early. brought car for servicing. while waiting for it, managed to do some marking. when we came home, went for dinner, then after dinner, we started our online course. managed to finish it in about 2 hours. what a lot of things we cover today.

you know the beauty of having children??? marcus didn't bear any grudge despite my scolding just now. as i forbid him to play and wanted him to read his story books,he's now in my room, reading his story books. and he sounded so happy as he jumped into my bed.

that's why i love my children. he makes me feel bad for scolding him just now. now he seems so angelic.

When i left the house for my lesson this evening, marcus started on his maths homework, a maths practice paper. that was about 5pm. When i reached home at 8.40pm, imagine my fury when i found out that he has not completed his work. As at now while i'm typing this blog, he's still doing. that is 4 hours for a practice paper!!!!

i am so angry, i think i've become mad. i've planned assessment for him to do tomorrow, his chinese tuition homework. all these are on top of his normal homework.

I told him if i come back and saw him playing, i'll whack him. so tonight i'll firm up my muscles. i'll make sure i leave some cane marks on him if i were to whack him tomorrow.

I do not understand why he needs an adult to sit beside him to supervise him to do his homework. only then, he will be able to complete his work. and some of the problem sums, he actually asked my brother in law to help him....

he is getting out of hand. i'm so angry.

it's a tiring monday at work. really pushing myself hard to complete the day.

received sms from marcus' teacher, he forgot to bring back his maths worksheet since last friday. this boy ah, so absent minded. i think i want to confiscate his pokemon figurines. I think his mind is full of pokemon and its stories. well, on one hand, it's imaginative, on the other hand, it's distracting him from focusing.

hate to be in this kind of dilemna. on one hand, you don't want to kill his imagination, on the other hand, if i don't stop this, he is not able to focus on his work.

today after fengshan cc, went to chinatown to buy the sarong for mabel, she needs to wear her nyonya clothes for racial harmony day on tuesday. when we reach the shop, there were at least 2 parents there buying for their daughters.

after that, went to stock up on toiletries. then we hop over to brewerkz for a while.

in the evening, sis in law and family came over for dinner.

going to sleep soon, tomorrow waking up early and we are all going to bukit timah hill.

very sad when i read the newspaper this morning about the terrorist attack in Jakarta. condolences to the family who lost their loved ones. Noticed that terrorist attacks are getting more frequent, with the last one that caught international media like about 7 months away.

attack like this can happen anytime and even in Singapore. the most important thing is to quickly recover from this. easier said than done, but we have to. Let this be a lesson learnt.

It is very warm. Wish i'm in some snow capped mountain, enjoying the snow. oh, hokkaido seems to far away.

it's going to be a long day at work today. persevere! hang in there!

recently then i realised the beauty of windows live and google docs of sharing documents online.

hmmm, looks like we can do without thumbdrive or external hard disk. only thing is you need the internet to be connected. but it's a seamless way to transfer your files and share documents online.

i'll be exploring more.

been tired lately because now it's like almost every week, there is a topical revision test, and the marking is killing.

things are going back to normal with CCA resuming and some meetings and remedials resuming. Still have to be cautious with social distancing and temperature taking, but i guess we all adapt.

as for the children, well, nothing interesting this week. just that have to start planning for marcus' birthday. also plan to go bt timah this week for some family fitness.

there was something heavy going that i wanted to blog today. but i lost the thought, i can't remember what it was already.

i am very tired today, physically tired. but focus focus, got to get 2 more work done.

well, the children are doing fine. marcus, though he still needs a little pushing in doing his homework, he manages. It's just that i want him to build this good habit of doing his homework first before play. and also he is easily distracted, not focus.

then there is mabel, who takes afternoon nap these two days after school. She must be very tired too. and there is max, after making some adjustments in the morning routine, he sleeps better and does not wake up. You see, the children used to come into my room and i'll do their hair. I guess this was what woke max up. however, now without them coming in, i can get ready alone much more softer. so it was easier to go to work without max waking up and crying.

i guess everything should fall slowly into routine now, since school is in the 3rd week.

hope that i can stay focus on my work this week. been distracted and not been focusing. the will is there to complete the work but at times, the body is unwilling to move.

snap, snap.

sunday, the three guys went for a haircut in the morning. then as usual, we hang out at brewerkz in the afternoon. then in the evening, it's to amk for dinner. bought 2 crabs to add on to the dishes.

then today, it's back to work. I so dun feel like waking up to come to work today. but i drag myself to work. This week is going to be a busy week and things are going to get back to normal soon. well, at least remedials for graduating classes have resumed.

and mock exams are in 3 weeks' time. argh, stress

on saturday, we went for check up for taxi driver license. Last week, my dad protested that i am wasting my time and money to obtain the license because it's of no value to me.

Well, i went ahead on saturday. reason being, i don't see it as whether it's of value to me or not, it's not about value. and who knows, yes, it's of no use to me now, but really, who knows what tomorrow will bring. I may need this later on.

today, i gave my blog address to aunt sally, who is now semi retired in Perth and sort of guardian to my cousin who is pursuing his Masters in Perth now.

so this gives me the motivation to update my blog every day.

random thoughts for the day:
1) Maria Hertogh died. for those who do not study history or social studies, she was the girl who was brought up by Cik Aminah when her Netherlands parents were taken prisoners during WWII. When her biological parents came to claim her back after the war, the british court gave the custody to her biological parents. This resulted in a riot between the Muslim community and the Eurasian community in the 1950.

so the relation to me? well, students were surprised that she was still alive until today. They thought she had died long ago.

2)oasis taiwan porridge has shift to toa payoh gardens. we went there for dinner this evening. children love the egg, we love the cockles.

3) i actually nearly fell asleep on the sofa just now watching tv

yeah, this is my 190th post for 2009. I officially broke my record!!! you see, since the beginning of 2009, i tell myself that this year, i must break my 189 record, so the strategy to do it was to blog every day, 1 post a day. so faithfully, i've been keeping up with this momentum and tada, today, july 10th marks the day i break my record. vola.

let's see if i have 365 posts by 31 dec 2009. or would it be more?

today i was angry with marcus for procrastinating on his homework. angry with him that he needed an adult to sit beside him to supervise his homework, without this supervision, he can't focus on completing his work.

today i was angry with max for being such a rude and ill mannered boy.

happy 12th anniversary

how many 12 years will a couple have? marriage has its ups and downs, why two people are married is actually a fate. as they say, fated to be together, fated to be man and wife this life.

thank you for everything, thank you for being there, thank you for standing by me, thank you for being the pillar of my strength, thank you for your shoulder when i needed one to cry on, thank you for tolerating my nonsense, thank you for being the guiding light when i needed one, thank you for going through thick and thin, thank you for taking care of me when i was sick.

thank you for being a husband and a father. Without you, all these will not be possible, my life will not be complete.

we have envisioned our future, we will grow old together. (short of saying, i love you)

today went for body massage. must be too long never massage, the whole body is painful, especially when she rubs up and down with (i think) her elbows.

hope my muscles are not painful tomorrow.

4D, hmmm, been having small win since i got the new car. but it wasn't my car number plate. it was another car number plate, a number which the fortune teller had asked me to buy before. so bought ibet for fun. last sat, $6 and this week, 3rd prize, so ibet it's about $40. though small win, but happy nevertheless.

What is life?

had wanted to slowly reflect and do this post, but really when is a good time, a time when i finish my work and all alone? so might as well do it now.

What is life? many people have their own ideas about life. some people mature faster due to life's experiences, some people mature later. some people are never contented with life. after they got achieved something, they go for more. some are contented with the things that they already have. no matter what are your views about life, this is my view of life.

I was one who didn't have much to start with. my family is not rich. i didn't grow up in a complete family. my father left the family when i was 8. well, he didn't abandon the family, he just had to leave because the marriage is just not working out. he still has to give the children allowances. so there were times when all these falsifying of expenses just to get more money. i actually didn't enjoy the time when he came and i had to bring the book out for him to see. then all the questions. but usually he will give. sometimes he was late and i'm dead broke. mum wouldn't give me the money, or probably she was broke too, i had to borrow from my friends first and when my dad gave me allowances, then i returned them. and i always had to help out with the housework which i usually would complain about doing. Because my mum likes to wash the clothes at the time when i had the most homework or on fridays when i had to polish my boots for npcc. so there was always a conflict of interest. and if you do not help her to do the housework, she would be very angry when she comes home.

so i was scared stiff about marriage initially. i was afraid that i will end up like my parents, divorced. it was after much time when my hubby gave me confidence that i make a commitment towards our relationship. We married at a young age, an age where i was only 22. to many, this is too young an age to get married, no finance stability blah blah blah. anyway, my hubby didn't have it easy with my family at first. when i know him, he was only 22, and me 19 and he was already driving a car. so to my family, he was like this ah beng, ah sia kia trying to woo their family member away. it was after many years later that they sense his genuine, sincere personality.

so in the intial months after my marriage, we didn't have much to start with. a comfy 3 room flat, sparsely furnished, with only a pocket tv. the only furnished area is the bedroom.

so to come to this stage of my life, i'm contented with life. as for my hubby, his business had failed not once, but twice. first, his father's business, the months of hardship of paying the debtors with his salary. then the 2nd time, things just didn't work out between him and his partners. yup, kind of hardship too, cos there was only my salary to maintain the family and banks calling us to pay our instalment. this was the period of time when we got our names blacklisted with credit bureau, a record which never can be erased. so now, we are contented with what we have, just not cut for businesses, better off working for others and take salary and family is happy.

I dun dare to say that my experiences are bad, but definitely our life experiences had taught us more about life. we bring nothing to this world, and when we leave, we bring nothing too, so many things in life, do not take it too seriously.

life will come a full circle. when it's time to go, it's better to let go and just go. you see, it's better that a person go then to be suffering on earth. more so since dad deals with pharmaceutical products. you see, the adult diapers are not cheap, commode is not cheap, wheelchair is not cheap. those bed are not cheap. so i really can imagine family who have bed ridden family members at home, the amount of money and the mental strength that one has to put in.

so i've tell myself, if anything should happen to me, either i get well fast or i let go fast. i do not want my partner or children to be burdened.

it's a monday. Let's see what the family has done over the weekend. met my father on saturday and did quite a lot of catching up with him. then, as usual, sister in law and family came in the evening. we had home cooked food.

on sunday, as usual, we went to brewerkz. the children had fun playing with the fountain. then in the evening, it's off to my mum's place to have dinner. auntie gor yee brought up a bottle of red wine, then there was titbits. so the children entertained the whole family with their dances, jokes and riddles for the adults.

today is monday, back to reality, got to do some work.

wah, eventful day today. managed to drop by brewerkz for happy hour. really happy hour. 2pm. it was a nice time catching up, with sweet memories.

then reach home at about 4 plus, close to 5pm. promised the children to go east coast for dinner. so brought the skateboard and bicycle. while waiting for the food, the children went to skateboard and ride the bicycle.

after dinner, the children played a while more on the bicycle, while we sip on our drinks. it was a cool evening with some light breeze.

i should have 183 posts today. soon, i'll break my highest record of 189 posts in 2006 or was it 2005.

anyway, tuesday evening, brought the kids to downtown east macdonald's to have dinner. then we took the kiddy ride. simple dinner, enjoyed the family time

in macdonalds, there was a mother with 4 children. the mum is on her laptop. what started to catch our eyes was that the mother spoke very loudly to her children and she was very stern in her instructions. you could sense that the children, esp the first two eldest one is a little rebellious already, as they tried to argue back. But she got even louder and asked them to do what she asked them to do.

next, she made them go and buy food. when the food came, her children returned her the change. when she realised that they didn't buy the student meals, she asked the eldest daughter to go back and change. The eldest daughter was of course, reluctant. but again, in her stern loud voice, 'go and change. you are a student, you should order the student meal. you very rich har? go and change now.' you could see that the daughter was so reluctant. after changing, she went on to mumble very loudly, 'you all so rich, buy a dinner $6. got student meal don't want to use' blah blah blah(i'll try to just describe first, then i'll add my thoughts later)

next incident, you could hear her say, 'now it's only 5 something, don't eat your dinner now. do your homework first.'

next incident, the eldest daughter who was initially sitting beside her mum, stood up and change seats. but the way she did it was like, she was very fed up, she banged her books on the table. The mother stood up and wanted to slap her, of course, she stood further away in retaliation. then the mum motioned her to come back, she went back to her seat, then her mum pinched her.

this incident actually disturbed me a lot. it was such a contrast. that family was like so unhappy over the outing at macdonald's, our family was so happy. there was laughter and jokes.

my comments:
1)in the first place, if you feel that macdonald's is expensive, then why bring your kids to macdonald's?

2) i can see the rebellious nature of the two eldest children.

3)if you don't want them to eat dinner at 5 something, then why make them go and buy dinner?

so much wanted to go and stop her, but then, she would say, it's none of my business.